[FFML] [Ranma][Revised]I Dream of Ranma, episodes 1 and 2

[Gary Kleppe]

Yay! Comments!

On 5/5/21 4:46 PM, Elin B wrote:

> I still use disclaimers too. I know they have no legal power, but I find it a mark of respect towards the original author.

Absolutely, and it doesn't cost you anything.


>> Strange, Akane thought. Wasn't there any
> way to build up this girl's confidence? Oh well, it was something she
> would have to work on.
> 
> Akane is well-characterized with just a few lines - well-meaning and confident but immature and not very self-aware, very much matching the young woman we meet in the early volumes of the manga.

Thanks; I don't really care for either the super-WAFFY Akane nor the 
hyper-violent psycho version, so I try to strike a happy medium.

> It makes a very good sense for Akane to think this at this specific canon point. (As an aside, this is something I've always found with your fic writing - you are very good at keeping in mind where the character are/would be at specific moments, seeing things from their points of view.)

Well, I've always liked these characters, which I guess is why I still 
write them even now that very few people want to read about them anymore.

>   >    "Don't worry about it. It wasn't your fault. It was...." Ranma's
> gaze seemed to lose focus for a moment, then returned. "It wasn't your
> fault."
> 
> Oh no, is Ranma unable to talk to others about his curse and its power? ;_;

Nah, it's just something he'd rather not have to deal with.

> It seems there was an off-screen transformation in the pond between the earlier scene in the dojo and this point, but the specific mention of the costume here, coming right before the wish-granting reveal, made me wonder if he'd just transformed into a regular female form when Genma first threw him into the pond, off-screen. Kinda like a super special two-step curse? Now that I'm re-reading it, there's not really any mention of something like that happening - my logic had holes in it. I guess I kinda assumed the Tendos would already have reacted to the change in the costume, but I guess they were just too stunned overall and, well, it's magic...

Yeah, the clothes change anytime the curse activates. I agree that that 
isn't clear for that earlier instance as written. I'll see what I can do 
about it.

> Yikes, that would work, wouldn't it? Well, I don't know if his curse allows him to literally live in a lamp, but if she could keep him away from hot water...
> ...hm, so if say Nabiki (or Genma... more likely Genma, really) would use Ranma's curse to wish for a valuable object, then immediately sells that object to someone else and then high-tails it out of there with the money, what happens once Ranma's hit with hot water? The object will disappear and make its buyer angry, but will the money also disappear?

My take on this is that in most cases, it's the direct effects of the 
wish that would go away, while any indirect ones would persist. The 
exception would be if the indirect effects required magic and couldn't 
happen without it. So if someone wished for a magic wand, everything 
that he or she did with that wand would also go away. But not if that 
person wished for something non-magical, as with the hammer in this scene.

>   >   So he needed to learn how to use his cursed form's powers. He
> obviously couldn't go out and sign up for genie training school.
> 
> Hmm, well, this is Ranma 1/2 so there COULD be a genie training school, but there might also well not be one... After all, it's not Urusei Yatsura or Rinne, in which case there DEFINITELY would be a genie training school somewhere in the world.

Or if this were Mahō Tsukai Tai, he could just go to school. :)

>> Not that she blamed Mr. Saotome.
> 
> No, no, do blame Mr Saotome, Kasumi!

GENMA: [holds sign] Don't blame me! I'm just a panda!

> Oho? No run-in with Shampoo in this AU?

Not yet. The Amazons are substantially different in this continuity. The 
ending of the series will feature them, if I ever get motivated to write it.

> Ahaha. Okay, yeah, so it's just Sayuri who's this skeptical. A sadly misplaced skepticism in the world she lives in!

Yup. These two didn't really have much personality in the original, so 
I'm trying to distinguish them, which at the same time lets me use them 
as a sort of comedy double act.

>>      "Stop it!" a voice cried from under the blanket. "Why are you
> hitting me? I'm not a peeping tom. I'm a GIRL ghost!"
> :DDDD
> 
> (This is so very Rumic, I adore it!)

Yes, and you know it has to backfire. :)

> There you go, I'm sorry I wasn't really any use in terms of finding anything to improve on, I hope my comments have provided some small entertainment at least!

A log of reader responses is always very useful. I have no real way of 
knowing what works and what didn't without getting people's reactions. 
Thank you very much for doing this.

> Hopefully I will be able to reply to the next part before the week is over!

Take your time; considering how long it's taking me to do the revisions, 
I can hardly complain about that.