[FFML] [Ranma] Hearts and Minds, Part 7 of 10

[Gary Kleppe]

Bert Miller <hkmiller at theeddy.com>  wrote:

> So that's what "then everything went dark" meant last chapter.  You  
> sneaky dog.

Arf. :)

> >     A white powder squall exploded in the back room of Ucchan's
> > Okonomiyaki. In the middle of the burst, a figure swooned, then toppled
> > over.
>
> Do you ever explain how/why Ukyou set this trap?

She heard a noise from downstairs and threw down a flour bomb. Given  
your reaction it's obviously unclear; I'll work on it.

>
> >     "Yippee!" Azusa moved towards the door. "We're going to see
> > Dominique again! Dominique!"
>
> Interesting French name for Kodachi... Kinda fits somehow...

Actually, Dominique is her name for Kodachi's ribbon. Remember that  
when the next chapter comes out. :)

> Groan.  Really, how could you?  "Champagne" "would've popped his  
> cork", indeed.

How could I resist? :)

> So why is Michaels in charge again?  Why isn't he avoiding this  
> project like the plague, if his top priority is his family?

See the last response. He isn't really in charge of anybody other than  
the other three people in his group. He does sometimes relay messages  
from higher-ups, but on his own he has no real authority.

> Also, given that his OWN future would seem to be at stake here, why  
> isn't he giving a more effective pep talk?  The only hope he has  
> left is
> that this team NOT fail again.

I'm not sure what more he could say that he hasn't already. He could  
confirm what Wesley suspects, but that might result in (for example)  
Jorgenson running for the hills, probably toasting Michaels in the  
process.

>     "The unemployment line," offered Crandall.
>
> >     Fat chance, thought Wesley. If the higher-ups were through with
> > them they'd be sanctioned with extreme prejudice. He felt like ripping
>
> ... because they know too much?  Or is this supposed to tell us  
> something about Wesley?

Because they know too much and on their own they'd get into a lot of  
trouble. It's Wesley's assumption, but not an unreasonable one (if  
colored somewhat by having absorbed Ryoga's emotions). What's more  
telling, in my view, is that he suspects this but won't do anything  
about it.

As for Michaels, he's not the loose cannons that these guys are, so if  
there were a kill order or even dismissal he wouldn't likely be  
included.

> >     He took a breath. The emotions that he'd absorbed from the
> > Japanese fighter surged through him. But he'd always known what to do
> > with emotions: Suppress them, and follow orders. They would go away.
> > They always did.
>
> Uh oh.  "The Japanese fighter" being Ryouga?  This guy has absorbed  
> Ryouga's depression?  Perfect Shi-shi houkoudan, anyone?

Interesting idea, but fortunately for the others there, he hasn't  
(yet) learned to channel emotional energy in that way, and the  
transfer will wear off.


> > advantage -- Kodachi obviously didn't know that she'd managed to get
> > word to Nabiki. Unless I've missed something, Ukyou doesn't know  
> that, either.  She got word to Soun, and didn't even get  
> confirmation that Soun heard her correctly.

No, she doesn't know it for certain, but it's not an unreasonable assumption.

> > I listened to
> > the voice of elder Ke Lun telling her great-granddaughter where to find
> > this cask of water which could cause great harm in the wrong  
> hands. And Kodachi understood Amazon village-dialect Chinese at the  
> time?

No, they were speaking Japanese, as they always did when in Japan,  
even when alone. They started a policy of always doing that because  
Shamps needed the practice, and kept it going until the end. That's my  
story and I'm sticking to it. :) I'd note that at least in the English  
translation, Shamps always speaks pidgin even when only other Chinese  
are there.

> >
> >     Ti Pi fixed her gaze on a blank wall of granite, and spoke. "Ou
> > Pen!"
>
> Cute.  But I hope the intonations are such that English speakers are  
> unlikely to get it right by happenstance, or it's a really bad  
> choice of password.

It's an in-joke. Any (native) English speakers would be unlikely to  
find the doorway or even know that there is one.

> >     "We're wide open. All those Mongols looking for us will need is
> > a good pair of binoculars, and they'll see us coming from miles away."
>
> Umm... you're in Mongolia.  Most of the country is like that.
>
> (Although, what happened to the vast grasslands?  Probably covered  
> in your backstory...)

 From what limited research I did, the impression I got was that it's  
different in different parts of the country. The area where Kasumi and  
Mu Si got captured had some trees. This part is desert, or nearly so.

> > they had somehow been tracked down a few days ago, in much less open
> > country where no one ought to have known what route they would be
> > taking. If they could be found there, surely they could be found here
> > just as easily.
>
> Yes, but now you can see other people coming.  I'd be worried about  
> planes, myself.  Or predator drones.  (Well, they might be off  
> mistaking a wedding for these guys...)

As I said in the previous reply, overseas intervention here is mostly  
limited to advice and money. They're not about to provide Herb with  
drones or other high-tech stuff that might fall into the wrong hands.  
He does have planes but having them searching the countryside could  
alarm the public and, as Genma says, really isn't necessary.

AKANE: Then again, a *lot* of people like to bomb *our* weddings....

>     "I *am* myself. That's the problem."
>
> >     "How's that supposed to make any sense!?" She threw up her
> > hands. "Look, I guess everything we've been through the last few weeks
> > has shaken your confidence. But you're still the one who beat Sa Fulan."
>
> Given that it's just Akane and Ranma talking, suggest you just use  
> "Saffron".  You might confuse fewer readers.

Yeah, that probably is a good idea.

>    I had the general impression that in many of this chapters scenes  
> following on from last chapter, you started just a little farther in  
> than you probably should have.  It took a little re-reading to  
> figure out what had happened in between, and, in one case (Ukyou  
> overcoming Kodachi at the beginning of this chapter), I'm not sure I  
> do know exactly what happened.  Last chapter, Kodachi laughed; this  
> chapter, she's overcome with a burst of white powder.  Did Ukyou set  
> a trap?  Or did she just wake up, hear the laughter, and come down  
> and attack?

See above, but I will work on clarifying this. Thanks very much for  
the feedback. I know how *I* picture the story so I really depend on a  
fresh eye to tell me when it's not coming across.