[FFML] [Naruto] One Hundred Days - Chapter Sixteen: The Hundredth Day

[Aaron Nowack]

Eimii wrote:
> The flaying continues! I've covered a bit more material this time...

Yay; flaying!

...hmm...that sounded kind of...wrong.  :)

Anyway, thanks for the C&C.  It continues to be safe to assume that
anything I don't respond it is just because I've run out of ways to say
"Good catch; will fix."

In particular, thanks for pointing out where I got too repetitious with
sentence structure and word choice; it's always been a flaw in my
writing and one that's hard for me to notice.

It's also safe to assume that some of my reactions below are primarily
motivated by my desire to find halfway plausible justifications for the
already existing events to avoid having to rewrite half the chapter,
rather than what's most straightforward or sensible.  :)

>>       Here on this front, Tsunade's forces had been holding their own,
>> but the Mist easily had twice the manpower she did, and the Mist's
>> allied villages had yet to take the field beyond a few raids by the
>> Hidden Haze in the Tea Country.  If the full weight of the Mist alliance
>> descended on the Leaf, Tsunade had little doubt that she would be forced
>> to order a retreat - or worse, a surrender.
> 
> Does the Mist have allied villages? I haven't watched the anime
> fillers, so i don't know if any are specifically introduced.

None that have been mentioned in canon.  (In fact, outside of filler, no
minor villages at all outside the ones allied to the Leaf and Sand have
been mentioned, though Hidan's forehead protector seems to indicate
there's at least one out there, given that it doesn't match any of the
others.)

In One Hundred Days, all the five great powers have at least one or two
allies: the Rock have the Valley and unspecified others, the Sky have
been mentioned as a Cloud-allied village, and now the Mist have the Haze
and unspecified others.  Save the Valley, none of them are particularly
important to this story.

>>       Tsunade grimaced, then she nodded.  "Thank you."  If the
>> Mizukage indeed intended an honest offer of peace, there was at least
>> one factor she could leverage to improve her situation - the Rock.  A
>> weakened Leaf Village would be a much preferable neighbor to the Mist
>> than an expansionist Rock.  With the Earth Country's ninja on the move,
>> there was a limit to how much the Mizukage could ask without threatening
>> his own country with further war against a stronger opponent.
> 
> Still, that's a rather slender hope; the Earth Country is at a far
> remove from the water country, and the Fire Country is large. If the
> Earth tried to occupy the Fire country, they would probably spread
> themselves thin, opening all of their holding up to guerilla attacks
> by Hidden Leaf stalwarts and anyone else that has a beef with them.
> This is the problem with a physically small force trying to control a
> large area.

True; I'll rework this a bit.

> Would not the Mizukage know enough about this year's exam participants
> to recognize her, though, especially with her teammates? The Mist had
> a team in the exam, after all.

Possibly; though Kimi's team never really had a chance to report back.
It's more of a polite fiction than a real intent to deceive if the Mist
looked into it, anyway.

>> There was no guarantee that even the sight of a Hyuuga could penetrate
>> Orochimaru's technique.  To the best of Tsunade's knowledge, it had
>> never been tested in that manner.
> 
> Do they not have any other Hyuuga in the field? I mean, a Hyuuga that
> actually has a working Byakugan couldn't be a fake, right?

True.  ...I remember I thought about this kind of thing when I was
writing the chapter, but I can't remember exactly what the answer was.

Probably Tsunade not wanting to tip off Orochimaru's people that she
knew they were about.

>> she needed to be prepared for whatever he was trying.  She had no doubt
>> that he would try to upset the peace conference, and so she had made
>> sure that her guards were the people she was most certain had not been
>> replaced.  They knew not to hesitate if anyone - even a fellow Leaf
>> ninja - tried anything.
> 
> Again, the leaf has many bloodline or similar clans; a simple
> demonstration of techniques should be all that's necessary to verify
> the identities of many ninja. For instance, any senior member of the
> Hyuuga, Aburame or Inuzuka could be identified in this fashion.

Yeah, I'll probably have to rework this bit some.

...not certain precisely what I'll do yet.  The important parts are that
Tsunade isn't certain that there isn't some infiltration of the Leaf,
and that there's an excuse to have Team Eight as her honor guard.

I'll see what I can come up with.

>>       "Forgive my ally's unplanned presence," the Mizukage said
>> smoothly.  "He arrived on unrelated business yesterday, and he insisted
>> on coming himself."  He paused, then added, "If you wish, I will send
>> one of my guard back."
> 
> That's a pretty big thing to excuse. His presence makes this 'meeting
> of equals' rather unbalanced.

Yup.  Completely intentional.  It's a way for the Mist to drive home
that they're the one's with the advantage.

>>       "Three."  It was Shikamaru who was giving the count, and Sakura
>> forced herself to take a deep breath.  There was no time to be nervous
>> now, she reminded herself as she checked her distance from the familiar,
>> small building that held the entrance to Orochimaru's lair.  Somewhere
>> out there, Shizune was preparing the opening strike, but Sakura couldn't
>> penetrate the jounin's genjutsu.
> 
> Is it (the building) really familiar to her?

She saw it (or rather, a previous incarnation of it) in the Rice Field
Country filler arc.  Will probably reword, though.

>>       There was a blur of motion, and Shizune appeared mere steps
>> behind the two Sound.  "You two had best surrender now, or I'll be
>> forced to hurt you."
> 
> That's awfully merciful; that smart thing would have been to kill them
> both instantly... but i guess she's a medical nin, and might still
> have some sort of professional interest in them, besides.

Yep.  She wasn't done with them yet when they had the poor manners to
get broken out of prison.  :)

>>       Kidoumaru twisted around, a kunai appearing in his hand, but
>> Shizune easily dodged.  She grabbed the boy's arm, expertly disarming
>> him and wrenching the captive limb behind his back.  Then there was a
> 
> One of his many limbs; restraining Kidoumaru must be a chore.

Indeed.

>>       "I can't tell," Hinata replied after a moment.  "It might just
>> be that they're what they appear to be, or it might be that they're
>> using some sort of genjutsu."  Her teacher had given her more than one
>> lesson on how a skilled-enough genjutsu user could deceive even her
>> eyes.  "Maybe if I was closer, I'd be able to tell."
> 
> But not the Sharingan, noooooo- because while it's been stated in
> canon that the Byakugan offers more 'insight,' the Sharingan can
> change the laws of the universe on a whim...

Not in this fic, it doesn't.  :)

> Also, one wonders how they're communicating amongst themselves without
> the Mist overhearing...

Distance and talking quietly.

>>       "Sorry," Kiba said.  "I'm just on edge."
>>       "I know."  Shino turned to Kurenai.  "I can send a messenger bug
>> to my father and ask for an update on our force's position."
> 
> It's just been commented that they'd be on the lookout for bugs, though...

For bugs coming up to them, yes.  It's easier to keep them from noticing
 bugs that are heading or coming from the opposite direction.

> That was _fast_. A bug on the wing may be pretty quick, but
> destruction bugs don't fly (last i saw), and even if they did, the
> main force would have to be just around the corner for a message to
> return that fast, unless it was relayed via some sort of 'bug telegram
> network.'
> 
> Or is a 'messenger bug' not a destruction bug?

Presumably, it is indeed a messenger bug of some sort.

>>       Bugs poured out of Shino's coat, and Hinata ripped the bandages
>> from her eyes as she charged, forming seals.  "Shadow Replication
>> Technique!" she breathed, a perfect duplicate appearing by her side.
> 
> I thought she needed to use a soldier pill to perform that?

Yeah, will fix.

>>       Kiba attacked first, he and Akamaru becoming whirling tornadoes
>> and slamming into one of the fake Mist.  There was a puff of smoke and a
>> small boulder shattered under the attack, but when the enemy reappeared
>> he still had a few bloody wounds.
> 
> Hmm... as good as they are, nobody on this team is jounin-level except
> for Kurenai. If Orochimaru were to bring in a team specifically for an
> assassination, one would think they'd be better than this... 

*shrug* It's just the first exchange of techniques, and Kiba got in a
lucky blow.


> unless
> they're along just to die, i guess, to trick the Mist into believing
> that the Leaf broke the cease-fire, and even then, the Mist would
> discover the Sound's treachery when they examined the bodies...

If that was the plan, it'd be easy enough for Orocihmaru to make sure
the bodies didn't stick around to be examined.

Or, given the care taken with cleaning up after the Kazekage's
assassination, he might just not worry about that part... ;)

>> advantage of the opportunity to rescue her fallen foe.
>>       Three blurs of motion erupted from the ruins of the tent. For an
>> instant, the still forms of the three leaders were visible, then
>> Orochimaru and Tsunade were gone, their battle carrying them away.  The
>> Mizukage stood silently for a moment longer, then he said, "I'll finish
>> you four off quickly."  At a curt gesture from him the false Mist backed
>> away.  "Unless you'd care to surrender and spare yourselves."
> 
> Hmm... the Mizukage doesn't seem to pay overmuch attention to Hinata
> and her Byakugan.
> 
> This is actully something i've been wondering about; would the
> persecution of bloodline clans really extended to the Hidden Mist
> themselves? I would have thought that they just went along with it
> because it was a useful scapegoat for them to use to keep the people
> of the Water Country from turning against them as a whole...

In this fic, from Midori's story there's some real persecution of
Bloodline Clans within the Mist itself as well.  The Mizukage is
presumably worldly enough that he's less prejudiced than the
rank-and-file ninja.

>>       Tayuya was less of a difficulty, but still she could not be
>> ignored.  Her genjutsu could wreak havoc if she wasn't taken out of the
>> fight quickly.  Shikamaru knew her tricks, though, and he doubted she
>> had picked up any new ones while she'd been rotting away in an ANBU
>> cell.  He could deal with her in relatively short order.
> 
> I know this is Shikamaru, but could he, really? Their last fight
> proved that the brute force available to her when she uses her seal
> can overpower anything he might be able to do to her with his shadow.
> I guess if she doesn't activate her seal immediately, she wouldn't be
> hard to deal with, but would she really be that dumb, considering that
> they've fought once before, and she had to activate her seal that time
> as well.

Maybe, maybe not.  I'll probably reword to be a bit less dismissive.

>> have fought her regardless of orders.  It had seemed appropriate to give
>> Sakura the duty to keep an eye on Ren and help finish off Midori
>> swiftly.
> 
> Except that friendship might also interfere with her performance; one
> would think that it would have been no more risky to have someone else
> fight Midori alongside Sakura, and less wearing on Ren's loyalties.

As mentioned above, he's working on the assumption that Ren'll fight
Midori regardless of who he tells her to fight.

I'll add in more justification for Sakura; probably along lines of
Sakura being likely to be Midori's targer, and they need to get Midori
away from the rest of the fight as quickly as possibly.

> Well, we already know that Sasuke is _fast_. His fight with Gaara was
> proof enough of that; even Lee mused that he would never be able to
> rush a well-protected opponent the way Sasuke could, because he
> wouldn't be able to react fast enough to defend himself, so Sasuke's
> straight-line speed (at least when using Chidori- though i'm not sure
> how that would make a difference), is similar to Lee's, apparently...

Yeah.  Basically, Shikamaru's thought is that anyone else except Lee is
going to be at an immense speed disadvantage, and anyone except Neji
(and maybe Lee) is just going to wind up making Sasuke stronger by
giving him extra techniques.

>>       That left one member of the Sound team, whose name was
>> apparently Jabisen.  Shikamaru knew nothing about him, but hopefully Ino
>> would be able to handle him for long enough.  Shikamaru studied the
> 
> 'for long enough'? Sounds like Shikamaru doesn't have much confidence
> in his teammate...

Will reword that bit, yeah.

>>       The trees shook as Jabisen unleashed a blind attack, and
>> Shikamaru took a deep breath.  His techniques couldn't do anything to
>> stop someone from making noise, short of snapping their necks with the
>> Shadow Neck Bind, and Shikamaru wasn't certain he could do that quickly
>> enough to do him any good.
> 
> That isn't entirely true, though. He could use the Kagemane, then hold
> his own jaw shut, and the good old 'make the enemy bash their head
> against a tree' trick doesn't take long at all. If he managed to catch
> Jabisen again, he could even make them walk with their backs to each
> other until he was within range for the Shadow Neck Bind...

The Kagemane has never been demonstrated in canon to have the ability to
keep the victim from speaking; the victim seems perfectly able to talk
independently of whatever Shikamaru is doing.

> One would think that all the ones with curse seals are wasting time if
> they all haven't activated them by now...

Given how the fights with the Sound Five go in canon, presumably there's
some jutsubabble reason that even people who have one willingly use the
cursed seals as little as possible.

>>       Neji just grunted, struggling to rise but only managed to
>> wriggle a little.  His concentration turned inward, his eyes focusing on
>> his own chakra system.  If he could see how Tayuya's technique affected
>> his chakra, he might be able to close tenketsu and break it without
>> closing so many he wouldn't be able to fight.
> 
> Hmm... but aren't 'genjutsu' only supposed to affect the opponent's
> mind/brain (by manipulating the chakra in their head, i guess)? If its
> affecting his whole body's chakra system, wouldn't it be a ninjutsu?

I think canon has said that genjutsu affects the chakra in the brain; I
didn't specify what _part_ of the chakra system he's looking at.

>>       Neji focused through the illusory pain, using it to fight the
>> paralysis.  He brought his hands together once more.
> 
> Hmm... but i thought pain could be only used to fight genjutsu because
> it was an 'actual' sensation, allowing you to focus on the true state
> of your body and not the illusion. In this case, he's trying to fight
> one 'illusion' with another... 

Eh, maybe.  I'll play with it a bit, I guess.

> though if it were truly some sort of
> genjutsu-based paralysis, one would think that there would be some
> sort of sensory effect that 'justified' his inability to move, like
> the entrapping tree used by Kurenai's genjutsu...

You're probably right; I'll add something.


>>       The six-armed ninja rolled out of the way of Lee's flying kick,
>> spitting out another web as he stood.  Lee blurred, vanishing and
>> reappearing inside the Sound ninja's guard, his leg arcing up to kick
>> Kidoumaru high into the air above the crater.  The green-clad ninja
>> vanished, reappearing floating behind his new foe.  Kidoumaru's eyes
>> widened.
> 
> This brings up another blind spot in Shikamaru's plan; Lee is fast
> enough to avoid all of Kidomaru's attacks, making him a reasonable
> match for the spider ninja, while Sasuke has never fought Neji- or
> even seen most of his techniques before, so he would not be as familar
> with Neji's abilities as he is with Lee's...

Hadn't really thought of that, to be honest.  I'll have to think of an
additional justification.

>>       If Ren, Neji, and Shikamaru's conclusion on that matter was
>> accurate, Sakura reminded herself.  They'd taken that distance and
>> doubled it, just to be safe, but that didn't mean much.
> 
> Hmm... I can't remember; does Ren already know that Midori got a
> cursed seal, and what that implies?

She found out last chapter, I believe.

>>       "Don't you even care that your teacher is dead?" Sakura asked.
>> Her eyes flicked about the clearing as she calculated the fastest way to
>> get behind Midori.  She couldn't imagine the talking lasting much
>> longer, and it paid to be ready when the fighting began.
> 
> Funny now nobody mentions to Midori that the cursed seal ate her
> teacher alive. That might make her think twice about using it,
> theoretically...

True, will add something.

>>       "That was Suicide Water Replication Technique," Ren said after a
>> moment.  "But Midori never had the chakra for that.  And the control to
>> keep it stable for that long -"
> 
> Interesting point; this refers to gross control (manipulating lots of
> chakra at once, such as for poweful ninjutsu) rather than fine control
> (manipulating chakra precisely, such as for genjutsu) i assume?

Pretty much, yeah.  Actually, as I envision it it would probably take
pretty good gross and fine chakra control to do what Midori just pulls off.

>>       "Midori's not stupid," Ren said as she moved to once again stand
>> at Sakura's back.  "She knows this is over once we find the real her."
> 
> Note: they're all going on endlessly about how they're not stupid, in
> this confrontation ^_^;;...

Bleh.  Will try to fix.  (I also noticed skimming through the chapter
that I use some variation on "it won't be that easy," way too often also.)

>>       "Shizune-sama, I think," Sakura said, letting her motionless
>> fake replication vanish.  "That's not our concern right now."
> 
> Took me a couple seconds to realize that the 'Sakura' that was
> orginally visible was one of Sakura's 'perfect' replicas, and not a
> bunshin.

Will try to make more clear.

>>       Sakura tensed, searching for an escape, but Ren only pressed her
>> kunai tighter, drawing a hint of blood.  "Stay still," Ren said softly,
>> and Sakura had no choice but to comply.  "Give me Saburo, and I'll give
>> you her and leave you be.  I'll even report that you and Mitarashi-
>> sensei died escaping the Leaf Village, so no hunter ninja will be sent
>> for you."
> 
> Hmm... this is kind of an untenable bluff, if it wasn't pre-arranged.
> Midori could just as easily have asked Ren to knock Sakura out, just
> to be safe (thus reducing her potential enemies to one).

...stop pointing that kind of thing out, dang it!  ;)

On some level, Midori still trusts Ren, and she doesn't really think
that Ren would lie to her like that.

Ren just doesn't think of that possibility, I guess.

>>       Midori hissed, and then she grinned widely.  "That does change
>> matters slightly," she agreed.  "We have a deal, Ren."
> 
> One wonders why she 'hissed' here... and the smart thing to do would
> still have been to knock Sakura out, or lock her up with a doujutsu
> while she's restrained. Perhaps put her into the Gaze of Torment, as
> it doesn't appear that Midori has to actively maintain that one (if i
> remember right) and it would have been especially cruel to just leave
> her that way until later...

Hmm.  I think I will have to rework this a bit.  I'll see what I can
come up with that doesn't involve changing the whole plot of the chapter.

>> Ino could react the two were gone.  She immediately searched for
>> Shikamaru's target, even as a part of her mind reminded her just how few
>> options she had against a ranged fighter with strong genjutsu.  When she
> 
> Her options really aren't all _that_ poor, if she can strike with the
> element of surprise. As far as we know, the Shintenshin's main
> weakness is that it 'flies' relatively slowly, not that it can be
> resisted by most folks.

Trying the Shinteneshin without some way of pinning her oppoenent or
getting really close (as she later does with Kidoumaru) is way, way too
risky.  It's apparently slow and obvious enough that it's not considered
a technique that's useful in combat, if I recall correctly.

>>       For the first time the Sound ninja seemed concerned about her
>> attempts to stop him, rolling out of the way and coughing up another
>> burst of webbing.  Ino dodged once more, but this time Kidoumaru
>> followed up with a second web an instant later, snaring her.  Not
>> wasting any further time on Ino, the six-armed boy went on his way
>> toward Lee and Sasuke.
> 
> Aaaaw, no respect for poor Ino... :(

She is a little outclassed, here.

>>       Kidoumaru froze for an instant, and then he stumbled.  "Damn,
>> this body is weird," Ino muttered through his lips.  "Bad enough that
>> he's a boy, but this one's got even more extra parts."  She moved one of
>> Kidoumaru's arms to rub at a strange burning sensation on his back, then
>> knelt over her own still body.
> 
> Hmm... Ino has been demonstrated to use the Shintenshin on animals, so
> it might not be so strange to have the 'wrong' parts. Things like
> flying as a bird might take practice though; i dunno...

She hasn't in this story, though.  :)

> And that's the end of the commentary for these scenes; more to come soon!

Thanks again!

Given how many plot holes you found here, I'm kind of nervous what
you'll find as we get to the parts I was more nervous about... :)

-- 
           Aaron Nowack
"Never let reality get in the way of a good hypothesis."
http://www.mimiru.net/