rgorman@telusplanet.net wrote:
Henry J. Cobb wrote:
I grabbed her tightly by both shoulders and put my face inches from
hers,
"Don't ever joke about that again. Don't assume that you're so
important
that I won't kill you and I can make it a lot more painful without my
Alice."
Who was joking? He'd be the first suspect.
And he has very good reason to resent any such implication.
He really should have tied a cloth around his mouth
Maybe it's built into the mask so he normally doesn't worry about it?
her that the dictionary defines floozy more by reputation than by
actions,
but I didn't feel like lecturing her through all of human biology right
at that moment.
How much does he really know about it? He may be a living weapon, but
he's still only elementary school age.
He's a genius who's always reading something. I suspect at this point
he's read naughty words in the dictionary, but has little clue on how
everything fits together.
After a minute Mikan was sweating and breathing heavily, "I've almost
got
it. It's right here!" Mikan yanked her hands back a little bit and was
holding the hand of a full grown man.
I don't quite get how that works. Did she reach into the past to get him?
My theory is that Mr. Noda bungies his way through time. His first
Quantum Leap ("Oh boy") is always the longest, say to the age of the
dinosaurs, and his last is around a decade before he finally settles into
the present.
Mikan can't touch him if he's just sitting in the past or the future, but
as he alternates between the past and the future in the small jumps at the
end, he's passing back and forth through the present moment and she can
grab him then.
He has to be at his minimum jump and it takes her maximum effort and she
has to be right next to where he'd show up in a few hours or days anyway.
She can also prevent him from using his Alice to jump out, but she has to
be undistracted and have him within a few dozen yards. (He doesn't have
to be in front of her as her spider sense is full sphere.)
Maybe: and make a wall of fire forcing them away from us.
That would spoil the cliffhanger.
Do I need to add some extra beats to show how out of it he's at this
moment? Note the parallel with the beginning of this chapter. He assumes
he's defeated somebody so he turns his back on them and they shoot at him.
Thanks for your efforts. I'll make the corrections you've pointed out and
upload to the webpage.
The manga is doing interesting backstory things at the moment so I might
delay the next chapter for a bit and see where that's heading.
In the meantime what would everybody like to see next?
A> The EVA kids as the Fantastic Four. (Hint: the big bad has heralds,
not angels. I do feel like sharing Asuka's fantasies about some of their
enemies, but only as omakes to keep the main story lemon free. This would
be the early Stan Lee FF and not the movie version.)
B> Belldandy as Queen Beryl. (Yes, she's the big bad, but she's a very
nice big bad.)
C> Skuld as Ataru Moroboshi's live in girlfriend. (Chapter 15 has taken a
real rethink to provide an escape route from the outer solar system.)
or
D> Some more short stories? (The one I'm looking at now has Mikan fake
being a childhood-only Alice.)