For those of you who _have_ read Suiren before, i might suggest >>
re-reading "Morning" and "Afternoon," as this chapter follows >> directly
in continuity with those ones and contains almost no >> preamble or
recap.
Righty-ho. I've reread those two chapters, but not the chapters between
the last posted revision and those, so forgive any fuzziness on details.
It's been so long since i wrote those, i suspect _i'm_ a little fuzzy on the details as well -_-;...
Staring at the place where the masked man been standing, Sakura shifted
uncomfortably. *He said 'stay away _for now_,' and he knew about the
mission...* Apparently, ANBU was keeping a closer eye on her than she
realized. *I wonder what they'd do if I were _really_ quitting. After
reading all those ANBU mission scrolls, I'll bet they'd kill me before
they >> let me become a missing nin...*
Kill? Of course not. That's wasteful. Where do you think the trainees
in the torture and interrogation squad get people to practice on,
Sakura-chan?
Sakura's an odd case, though ^_^;. She's been reading stuff that even trainee-level torturers might not know, so they might not want to allow for the chance that anything might slip...
Suddenly wanting to sit and calm her nerves, Sakura spied a sweet
vendor's >> cart not too far away. Walking over, she lifted the shop
curtain. "Mitarashi >> dango and tea, please," she ordered automatically,
dropping her pack and >> taking a seat at the narrow bar that protruded
from the front of the yattai.
Anko has a menu item named after her? Or is this a result of Kishimoto's
taste in names?
The latter; Anko's family name "Mitarashi" comes from the fountain outside a temple where you wash your hands and mouth to purify them. "Mitarashi dango" are a moderately famous temple snack, presumably often sold near this fountain. They're grilled dango dipped in soy sauce.
"I hope you haven't picked up _all_ of your teacher's bad habits," a >>
familiar voice commented from over her shoulder. >> >> *The next person
that %$*#in' sneaks up on me is getting an explosion note >> shoved up
her ass...* Sakura vowed, feeling her cheeks redden in >> embarrassment.
Turning around, she glanced up at her captor. "As few as I >> can manage,
Kurenai-sensei. Good morning."
Captor? Kurenai is just standing behind Sakura, from what you've written.
She has been 'caught' acting like Anko, though ^_~...
"Hmm..." The jounin's crimson eyes grew pensive, and a hint of worry
pinched >> the corners of her mouth. "I'd prefer to at least send Kiba or
Shino with >> you as an escort, but we aren't due to meet for another two
hours and I have >> a few things to take care of before we depart," the
noted in >> dissatisfaction.
"the noted"? Missing a word or two there.
'she noted' Will fix that.
"I'll be fine!" Sakura assured her. "I've improved a lot since the
exam, and >> it's not that far. I don't need anyone to look after me."
...famous last words.
And not words that anyone should believe, coming out of Sakura's mouth, given her recent track record...
"It isn't your safety I'm worried about," Kurenai corrected, giving
Sakura a >> wry look that Anko probably knew all too well. "...Fine, go.
We should catch >> up with you early this afternoon if there aren't any
unexpected delays."
Given how it's been portrayed thus far in this chapter, there shouldn't be
any "probably" about it. If Anko knows the look all too well, so would
Sakura, wouldn't she?
Sakura's Anko-memories aren't complete; she may genuinely not know (or at least not know consciously) that Anko gets that look a lot, though she'd probably have a strong feeling about it...
Turning to her, the sweet seller cleared his throat and tried to school
his >> features, though he seemed to be having some difficulty. "That'll
be three >> mon for the dango and tea," he requested politely.
...hah.
Poor Kurenai.
Well, she got a little revenge not too long ago ^_^;...
Sakura could certainly understand _that_ feeling. This entire mission
stunk >> of some sort of veiled agenda. If Kurenai could get information
on her >> family so easily, it should have been no problem for the
diplomatic corps, >> so how had they 'missed' the fact that her parents
weren't legally married? >> *If they wanted to make it look like a
'personal request from the Lord of >> Ryuuzai's loving granddaughter,'
they should have just made _that_ my >> mission.*
*jumps back to double-check* In the previous chapter on ff.net, isn't her
grandfather referred to as the Lord of Ryuuzen, not Ryuuzai?
Hmm... i'll have to look those up again; 'Ryuuzen' probably means something, just like 'Ryuuzai' -_-;. One or the other is probably right...
As a side note, it's going to almost be a shame if/when Kishimoto gives us
any background on Sakura's family, since it'll remove such a wonderful
blank slate to hang plots on. Ah well.
I sort of doubt it will ever come to that; there's nothing really remarkable about Sakura in canon, other than her excellent chakra control; since she doesn't have any family techniques, her family becomes unimportant as far as the Narutoverse is concerned ^_^;...
The chuunin must have noticed her gaze, for he shifted his stance to
take a >> look around. He was too slow to catch the ANBU, however.
Returning his >> attention to Sakura, he put on a pained smile of his
own. "Are you trying to >> get me into trouble with Anko-sama again?" he
joked half-seriously. >> >> "Since when has Anko-neechan needed an
excuse?" Sakura countered, a little >> sore at the insinuation. She'd
almost faltered at calling Anko 'Nee-chan', >> but the cloud of confusion
that slipped over the chuunin's eyes was >> priceless.
...Sakura had better hope the guard doesn't mention to Anko that Sakura
just called her "Anko-neechan." Anko would never let her live it down.
Well, Sakura called Anko that to her face, once, in concession to not respecting Anko enough to call her 'sensei'... but yeah, Anko wouldn't let Sakura forget it if it got around that she was using that form of address in public ^_^;...
Glancing at Hinata, who was watching her anxiously, Sakura decided that
she >> wouldn't mind the company. "Hinata-chan, since you're here early,
do you >> want to come with me? Kurenai-sensei and the others will catch
up with us >> later, and Kurenai-sensei said she'd prefer it if I had an
escort." >> >> Hinata seemed surprised by the suggestion, and Sakura
could see the >> indecision gnawing at the dark-haired girl as she
reflexively glanced down >> at her feet before catching herself and
looking at Sakura's face instead. >> "I'm not..." Chewing her lip, Hinata
wouldn't make eye contact, but after a >> second she gave a jerky nod.
"I- yes, that would be fine."
Hmm. Curious.
There _is_ a reason for her reluctance...
Clearly, something was bothering her former classmate. *Dammit, I hope
it's >> not those stupid rumors again!* Hiding her displeasure behind a
reassuring >> smile, Sakura waved as if to dismiss the idea. "You don't
have to come with >> me if it makes you uncomfortable-" >> >> "No, it's
nothing!" Hinata blurted, shaking her head emphatically. "I just- >> um-
w-we should let Kurenai-sensei know," she suggested, her voice rapidly >>
dropping to the timid near-whisper that Sakura was accustomed to hearing
from the shy kunoichi.
It's pretty clearly not nothing, but I'm doubting it's what Sakura thinks
it is either. Hmm.
Well, Sakura doesn't have a whole lot of information to work with yet, and while she's relatively smart and clever, she's not Shikamaru...
"But what if your uncles dropped the charges?" Hinata prodded
insistently. >> "Then, couldn't your parents get married?"
...hah.
I try to leave little hints as the story goes on, but i suspect a lot of folks miss them -_-;...
*She's in a good mood today.* The Hyuuga heiress seemed positively >>
enthralled with Sakura's awkward family history.
Probably just relieved that she's not the only one with bizarre familial
problems.
Plus, Sakura's family problems are comfortably distant from her own...
In theory, if she could use chakra to support her own body weight on
the >> surface of a moving river, it should be easy for her to ward off a
few >> measly little raindrops. In practice, however, releasing chakra
from your >> hands or feet was _much_ easier than, say, releasing it from
the back of >> your head. Despite her best efforts, her hair was still
noticeably damp, and >> she was quickly tiring herself out.
Canonically, doesn't Kakashi say that the feet are the most difficult
place back during the tree-climbing exercise?
He may have... and given the distance from the center of the body, if that is a limiting factor, that might make sense in _some_ respect. It just seems so counterintuitive to me, though -_-;...
"It went okay, I guess," Sakura replied wearily. "He hasn't agreed to
anything, but at least he didn't turn us down flat." A worried frown
creased >> Hinata's brow, and Sakura gave the smaller girl a half-hearted
grin. "If >> you're a ninja, getting grandpa to do _anything_ for you is
like trying to >> make Manda-sama dance."
Hmm. Anko-ism slipping through? Or are the names of the big summons
common knowledge in this version of the Naruto universe?
"That doesn't sound good," the pale girl noted unhappily.
Should have waited; that seems to answer that question.
A little of both, really; Manda-sama is known to be the head of the snake court, and not a god you want to mess with- in a very general sense, since leaf ninja are normally forbidden from trying to summon him. Sakura has a little more 'personal' knowledge of his habits and tastes, though...
It was also the only section of the castle that ninja were officially
permitted to enter. All of Hinata's ninja gear was confiscated before
they >> were cleared through security, but that was to be expected; not
even samurai >> were allowed to wear their swords in the castle unless
they served the Lord >> of Ryuuzai or the Daimyo himself.
Confiscating a ninja's weapons (in particular a Hyuuga) would be purely
symbolic, really. Kunai and shuriken aren't precisely the most dangerous
things a ninja can use on you.
True, but removing those weapons _does_ limit to a certain extent what a ninja can do to defend themselves against a well-armed and well-trained opponent. The ninja that work at Ryuuzai castle aren't helpless by any stretch of the word when confronted with the more esoteric techniques employed by ninja...
The pale girl nodded, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Maybe...
The >> walls are steep, and they have walkways on top of them, the same
as Konoha." >> Her eyes widened in surprise. "Is that a cannon?" She
pointed at a gray- >> black tube poking out of one of the towers in the
distance.
Hrm. I've never really liked adding cannon or guns to the Naruto
universe, even though with the level of technology certainly could
support them. Actually, it might be because of that. It's easier for me
to suspend disbelief when there's modern technology but no guns than
modern technology but archaic guns.
That's just personal taste, though.
I sort of work from the premise that, within the five great ninja countries, they've made an arrangement somewhat similar to the Tokugawa Shogunate. Foreign guns were readily available in Japan before the Tokugawa era, and there was even some local manufacture. Tokugawa swiftly and efficiently stamped that out, once he saw how easily a force of men minimally trained in the use of guns could defeat a more thoroughly trained force of swordsmen.
The great ninja countries have done the same, and have ensured that black powder weapons do not enter the countries they control, to ensure their own continued military supremacy. Sakura's grandfather isn't happy with this arrangement ^_^;...
When the last loop of gauze peeled free from Hinata's skin, stuck to
her >> brow by a jagged line of reddish-brown stains, it took Sakura's
brain >> several seconds to process what she was seeing. Unfortunately,
her mouth was >> much faster on the uptake. "Holy $#%&, is that real?!"
she blurted, gaping >> at the stylized manji branded on Hinata's
forehead.
.....oh my.
Not gonna comment on this one just yet...
"I love you too, Hinata-chan" Sakura whispered playfully, giving the >>
brunette a friendly peck on the cheek, "but not like- huh?" A stab of
worry >> shook Sakura out of her licentious stupor as Hinata's entire
body seized up, >> then suddenly went limp, a though her adorable new toy
had blown a fuse. >> "...Hinata-chan?" Panic welled in the pink-haired
girl's stomach as she >> shook her unresponsive companion. "H-hey, are
you okay? Hinata-chan?!"
.....that's an evil place to end a chapter. Very evil.
I've been told that before; it's a bad habit of mine ^_^;...
To be continued... soon, really ^_^;...
It had better be soon, if you're going to end it there... :)
I intend to, really. I just hope i can follow through -_-;...
As for general comments, it was a very good chapter. I'd say you have
nothing to worry about with regards to that.
It's a big worry, trying to live up to even the tiny amout of 'hype' surrounding a long-delayed continuation of a fanfic. Don't want to disappoint anyone >_<;...
It definitely seems that
Sakura's multiple personality difficulties are quickly becoming less of
an odd quirk and more of a serious problem. It will be interesting when
we finally find out exactly what's going on there.
Despite the fact that everything seems to have settled into some semblance of 'normalacy' by this point, it's sort of important to remember that Sakura still has issues to deal with; it's a toss up regarding whether they're getting 'worse' or not, though Sakura probably thinks so...
The only thing I'd mention is that Sakura's thoughts and actions at the
very end of the chapter seem... off, though that might just be a symptom
of jumping here from the beginning of the series. I'd expect to see
quite a bit more hesitation and conflict in Sakura's thoughts with
regards to whole lesbian teasing issue (particularly at the very, very
end of the chapter), since as I recall even at her most Anko-ish her
supposed lesbian tendencies are a very sore point for Sakura.
Well, when she was possessing Temari and... er... 'teasing' Shino, 'inner Sakura' (if we want to call her that) did seem to have a rather stunning lack of shame and restraint when it came to these brazen, Anko-like acts of... really, you could probably call it sexual harrassment -_-;...
So there _is_ precedent; Sakura was pretty horrified by her counterpart's behavior before, too. Unfortunately, 'shame and restraint' do not seem to be a constant hinderance to Sakura even when she's in her own body, lately, and when she's not thinking about it in those terms, the 'lesbian' angle suddenly seems like a deliciously tempting lever to use when teasing Hinata...
This could very well be an intentional sign of Anko-Sakura taking over to
a much greater extent than previously, but just in case it isn't I
figured I should mention it.
It _was_ intentional, though i probably didn't put enough indication of how hard Sakura was trying to keep from crossing that line, and how easy it was for her to slip over when she let her guard down...
And i'm not sure i'd call it a _much_ greater extent, though it should be noted that a lot the pressure that Anko's personality exterts on Sakura's personality seems to be situational...
Hopefully I said at least a few useful things; if I have time I'll try and
give this another run-through later to look for typos and the like. I was
too caught up in the story to do a good job looking for those this time
around. :)
Well, as long as the story is enjoyable, there's not a lot more i can ask for ^_^;. Thanks for commenting!
~Eimii
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