Eric Holdt wrote:

Just taking a quick breather from our Rune Soldier fic to write this 

little

sudden burst of inspiration.  This is the second of our Naruto
Crack-Pairings one-shot fics (for those who missed the first and would 

like

to read it, let me know and I'll resend it).

Ah, I remember that one.  The Shino/Temari, right?

Correct.

A lot of people seem to be
against non-cannon pairings, but personally, I like to think that it's 

much

more of a challenge to write an acceptable fic with non-cannon couples 

than

it is to write an acceptable fic with people who are 'supposed' to be
together.  That's just me, of course.

Canon, not cannon.

Yeah, I had it right to begin with, but then second-guessed myself and 
changed it.

If only more of the people writing non-canon pairings _realized_ that it
was tougher and actually did the work to make it plausible.

I agree.  Take a stroll through ff.net and the majority of crack-pairings go 
a little bit like this:

Guy:  The girl I like doesn't love me, but that's okay because I've always 
secretly loved you!

Girl:  Wow, me too!  It's it amazing how that turned out?
X(

Special Disclaimer: There seems to have been rather a lot of discussion
about this fic.  I didn't follow that, so forgive any duplication of
issues that have been dealt with to death.

The main issue was that Shikamaru actually plays shogi in the series rather 
than western chess, and a couple debates spawned off from that.  Another was 
when I commented about the possibilites of actually winning a game in six 
moves or less, where people informed me that it was possible.  Stuff like 
that mainly.

She nodded as they began rearranging their chess pieces.  Even if it was
something that she wasn't very good at, Hinata was happy for the 

distraction

the game brought to her.  It had been several months now since Naruto 

had

gone off on his special training trip, and Hinata had steadily grown 

more

depressed at his absence; not to mention the fact that she hadn't even 

been

able to tell him goodbye.

Should be a comma after absence, not a semi-colon.

I figured.  This and the other one you pointed out are fixed now, thanks.

But then a week ago, after Shino and that Temari girl had gotten 

together,

they'd been spending quite a bit of time with each other.

*gasp*  Continuity!

Seemed the most effective way of explaining why Hinata was hanging out with 
Shikamaru when in the series she's almost never seen with anyone other than 
her teammates. *shrug*

Of course when you write a one-shot that refers back to another one-shot, 
does than kinda defeat the purpose of calling them one-shots at all? o_O

And while Hinata
didn't have anything against the kunoichi of the Sand, the constant
arguments between the two and the...activities that often followed were 

a

little too uncomfortable for the overly shy girl to handle.

"the kunoichi of the Sand" (to me at least) makes it sound like Temari
is is the only kunoichi in that village.  Suggest "from the Sand" instead.

Sounds good to me.  Will change.

Shikamaru frowned and slid another piece forward.  "Everyone has their 

own

special talent, Hinata-chan.  Just because you haven't found yours yet
doesn't mean it's not there."

Just a note: in Naruto, for whatever reason, the genin don't really seem
 to use "-chan" with their female classmates (with the exception of
Naruto to Sakura), instead just using the name with no suffix.

Yeah, you're right, though I think Kiba refers to Hinata as -chan at some 
points too, doesn't he?

I know that at least according to the explanations of suffixes I've read
this should be overly familiar, but that's the way it is (unless I'm
recalling incorrectly, of course).

I had another reviewer tell me that Hinata probably wouldn't be so familiar 
as to call Shikamaru -kun, either, even though she uses it for several other 
people.  He'd suggested -sempai, since at this point he's a chunin and she's 
still a genin, but...Maybe I'll just drop the suffixes all together, and not 
worry about them.

"Well, sort of.  It's not as though they used it to plan battles, per 

say.

per se, I think.

Right.

Even in my own family, everyone knows that it should be

Neji-neesan who carries on the bloodline of the Main Branch, not me."

-neesan is for sisters, you want "-niisan"

Yeah, I caught that one a little too late.

Well, it was my first attempt at writing anything truely WAFFy, so I 

pray

that it goes over well.

Worked for me.  The metaphor was pretty easy to see coming, but that's
not really a flaw I don't think.

There was definitely a lot of predictability in the story, but from what 
most of the others have told me it didn't seem to hurt it much, which is a 
plus. ^_^

So, what's the next one going to be? :)

Hmm...good question.  ...How about Ino/Lee?  I've got a rather half-formed 
idea for something like that.  Or maybe um...Anko/Gai or something. o_O

Maybe I should start taking requests? *shrug*

Anyway, thanks for the review, Nowack-san.  Much appreciated. ^_^


Dragonboy

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