Stevenav@comcast.net wrote:

Just a few comments

To start with, Shikamaru plays Shogi, not western chess.
The same message can be carried by using the pieces in Shogi like the Fu 

(Fuhyo) which is a pawn, or the Kyo (Kyosha) lance, or the Kei (keima) 
knight, etc.

Shogi and chess have many similarities, but this might be a good 

opportunity to introduce the audience to what shogi is.

good sites to learn the absolute basics are
http://www.ricoh.co.jp/SHOGI/rules/erules.html
http://shawnbrown.com/basement/shogi/shogi_rules_1.html

The pieces might even make better analogies. Neji for example is more of 

a Lance than anything, He is very direct, moving straight forward all the 
time. Hinata, I'm sure, would feel that she's a Fu, the difference being 
that in chess a pawn can be promoted, while in Shogi, a fu can only become 
a To (tokin) which, while it gains a great deal more power over it's 
movement, it is not as commanding a piece as a queen is in western chess.

Of course, it's just a suggestion.

I will have to disagree with you on one point here. Although, yes,
Shikamaru does play chess, not shogi (canon), the story's impact would
not have been as great with Shogi. I wonder if he can play chess as well?

The point is that Hinata has a queen inside of her, waiting to be
promoted. This also goes in line with her being the heiress of the Hyuga
blood. She is only a pawn now... but she is expected to become the queen.

I found the paralelle very effective.

While the whole 'king', 'pawn' and 'queen' aspect of the story was a big 
reason for choosing western chess over shogi, there were other reasons for 
it, too.

Most of all was that while I did do a bit of research on shogi before I 
wrote this, like the rules and how to play and its pieces and such, I didn't 
want to take the risk of putting a bunch of flawed points in the story just 
from not being very familiar with the game.

On the other hand, my brother and I play chess together at least once a 
week, so it was much easier to try to write about.  And given Shikamaru's 
intelligence and all his game playing with Asuma, I felt I could safely say 
that he would have knowledge about western chess as well.

Anyway, thanks both of you for your comments and suggestions.  Maybe we can 
attempt the shogi route in a future story.

Eric 'Dragonboy' Holdt

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