The question here is...what's the point?

1. Ranma gets "tried" before his family and school for something.
2. Apparently, that something is becoming a Belldandy-follower.

Those two sentences more or less carry the same emotional impact as the
story you wrote, only condensed into two sentences.  Is your story
supposed to be funny?  Sad?  Those being more or less the only emotions I
could assume you were trying to invoke.

Given how sparse the writing is, it's no wonder there's no impact, no
character development.  This is, as was said of the last thing you threw
across, an idea waiting to be turned into a fic.

How quickly do you toss these things out, anyway?  Are they just
spur-of-the-moment things that you whip up in half an hour and hit 'send'
immediately upon typing 'The End' (figuratively or otherwise)?  Haven't
you heard of letting something sit and rereading it before you send it
out?  Or pre-planning, even?  Outlining?

So, yeah, there's my attempt at non-flamey advice.  Lemme know how I'm doing.

Lawrence


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