GL Sandborn wrote:
 > Tina meets the bad guys.  I'll try to catch what C&C you kind people
 > post while on the road.  (This damn job is killing me.)

Having long since wiped any commentary (and with no version up on ye 
site) forgive me if I tread old ground.

 >      Her struggles became weaker as the sharp metallic odor of
 > chemicals flooded her senses.  The passing lights of the city
 > began to swim and recede in the darkness as her muffled cries of
 > distress sounded further and further away.  Soon, everything
 > slowly faded into darkness.

For some reason I thought they came by before nightfall, and it doesn't 
seem like Kaoru lives in a very "city lights" part of town.

 >      "Wake up, Miss Foster"
 >      Forcing open one eye, she quickly closed it again at the
 > intense brightness before her.  She tried to move her hands to
 > shield her eyes but they were caught on something.
 >      "Oh Kaoru, why did you stop?" she mumbled as she squirmed on
 > a hard wood chair.  "Please take me."

If you're working from Tina's viewpoint, it seems a little too external 
to include whatever she's sitting on.

 >      The room swam into focus, black and white focus at that.

"black and white" doesn't modify "focus" all that well.

 > She recoiled back into the chair at the sight of a chubby little
 > face framed in square wire-rimmed glasses only inches from her
 > own.  She blinked and blinked some more.  Instead of her darling
 > Kaoru, there was a little man wearing a gray high-necked jacket.
 > The light coming from a goose-necked table lamp behind him
 > reflected off a strip of bald skin on his head.

What, no Chairman Mao cap?

 > No doubt about
 > it, her honeymoon was over.
 >      "You wake now?" the man asked with a satisfied smirk on his
 > disgusting little face.
 >      "What?  Where...?  Who...?"  She tried but couldn't seem to
 > form a cohesive sentence.  The room swam around her.  Shaking her
 > head to clear the scene, only added nausea to her confusion.
 >      "Good.  You wake.  We talk," the man said.
 >      She tried again to move her arms but found they were bound
 > together behind the chair.
 >      "Comfy?" he asked, turning away towards the table that
 > contained the annoying lamp.
 >      "No," she said, trying again to free her hands.  Whatever
 > was holding them together dug painfully into her wrists.
 >      "Good.  Plisoners should not be comfy," he replied holding
 > up a small black book.  "It say so in manuao."  He opened the
 > book and read.  "Plisoners not be comfy.  See?  I light."
 >      "I don't know anything about anything.  Can I go home?" she
 > snapped, adding a little sniff at the end.  She couldn't figure
 > out what was with the man's lousy English.  With everything in
 > black and white, she felt like she was stuck in a bad Charlie
 > Chan movie.
 >      "Ah, you get light to point.  Good."  He flipped a few pages
 > I his little black book.  "When plisoner wake, ask impoltant
 > question."  He turned to regard Tina with a look that made her
 > skin crawl.  "Okay, I ask.  Where is man you with?"
 >      "Man?  What...?  Oh, you mean that government guy.  He ran
 > away somewhere early this morning.  I really don't know where he
 > is.  Can I go home now?"
 >      "Lan away?"  The little man mumbled something unintelligible
 > and flipped through a few pages in his book.  "NO!  That is not
 > acceptable.  It say so light here."  He pointed to a page.
 > "Plartner of seclet agent never lun away!"

Everyone, say hello to Choko's estranged (and-a strange) older brother.

 >      "This one did," Tina insisted.  "WAITAMINUTE!  He's NOT my
 > partner!  I only met him once.  At the zoo.  He was hurt.  I took
 > him home because he said he didn't have anywhere else to go.  I
 > thought it was a little strange.  I mean, a single guy in Japan
 > and no place to stay.  And how many good looking guys do you meet
 > in a zoo?  Anyway, I don't know how it happened but somehow he
 > ended up in my bed--"

Give it a couple beats before she realizes what she just admitted to. 
She's not exactly awake yet, right?

 >      The little man made a disgusted face and snorted.  "You sex
 > rife not intelesting."
 >      "I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM!"  She shook her head.  "I mean,
 > yes, he somehow got in my bed but I wasn't because I invited him.
 > I don't know how he got there."
 >      The little man tisk-tisked.  "You know, that is how you get
 > nasty disease.  Must be vely careful.  You no want get THAT, I
 > can tell you."
 >      "You sound like my father," she said wrinkling her nose.
 > "Save yourself for marriage, wear clean underwear, don't get a
 > tattoo.  Why can't I have a little fun while I'm still young?  Do
 > you know how tough it is to find a Laundromat in the Amazon?  And
 > that little tattoo I...  Ooops, I shouldn't have said that.  You
 > didn't hear me say that."
 >      With a sigh, the little man turned away and raised his hands
 > high.  "Daddy always say boys no tlouble compared to girls.  Boy
 > never buy milk when girl give away free.  So sad.  So sad."

I recognize the proverb, but is it more Western or Eastern? If it's 
Western he should mess it up, as is only fitting and proper.

 >      "Milk?  What milk?  What are you talking about?" she
 > snapped, again shaking her head.  When the previous case of
 > vertigo failed to return, she drew a deep breath and tried to
 > glare at her captor.
 >      With his back to her, the little man sighed.  "No matter.
 > You talk now.  You seclet agent.  Where is partner?"
 >      With a frustrated shake of her shoulders, she squeezed her
 > eyes shut and rolled her head back.  "I am NOT a seclet... I
 > mean, secret agent!  I've already told you everything I know."
 >      The man spun around.  With hands on his chubby hips, he
 > regarded her like an angry father.  "I see.  Amelikans tlain you
 > good."  He picked up his little book again and flipped through a
 > couple of pages.  "What to do, what to do.  Ah, I rike this one,"
 > he crowed.  Gesturing to a couple of his goons, they slowly
 > advanced on the helpless Tina.

Tie her to the Wheel of Painful Things and give it a spin.

"Argh! Who put 'Badry Stuffed Cushions' on wheerl? Monty Plython is 
symbol of capitalist decadence!"

 >
 > *****
 >
 > :snip:
 >
 > *****

Good setup for the 'not cops' later on.

 >
 >      Tina swung slightly from a rope tied to her ankles.
 > Suspended some ten feet above what appeared to her to be a
 > livestock watering tank, she struggled with the twin problems of
 > her still tied hands and all the blood pooling in her head.

And the rope burns on her legs. The THREE problems of still-tied hands, 
blood pooling in her head, and roper burns on her legs. And the glasses 
that just fell out of her pocket. The FOUR problems of...

I'll come in again.

 > "Look, I know you Japanese cops do things a little different but
 > is this really necessary?"
 >      The little man, flanked by four of his goons, ignored her
 > question and flipped a few more pages in his little book.  "Okay,
 > plisoner tied above water.  Check.  Water in tank deep."  He
 > paused to lean over to look in the watering tank.  "Check.  Begin
 > questioning plisoner."
 >      Snapping shut his book, he regarded Tina with a satisfied
 > expression.
 >      "Why are you doing this?  I told you before, I don't know
 > ANYTHING!"  Tina wiggled like a fish on a stringer, trying to get
 > her hands free.

I think "thrashed" works better there.

 > That just made her swing a little more, the
 > movement added vertigo to her pounding head.
 >      "So you say now," the little man said.  "Soon you say what I
 > want to hear."
 >      "What's the matter with you people?  Don't I get a Miranda
 > Warning or something?  All I know is that guy ran off and left
 > me.  Try SoapLand.  He had a gift card."
 >      The little man blinked.  "SoapRand?"  Turning to one of his
 > goons, he listened as the man leaned over and whispered an
 > explanation.  He reacted with obvious frustration.  "Sex, sex,
 > sex.  Is that all you Amelicans think about?"
 >      "If you don't let me down right now, I'm going to report you
 > to your supervisor.  Even the cops in Argentina were nicer than
 > this."
 >      "Cops?  What cops?" the little man asked as he looked
 > between his men and Tina.
 >      "You're not police?" she gasped.  "Yakuza?"

I think

"You're not police?" She gasped. "Yakuza?"

is what you want there. Gasping more when she realizes she's in the 
hands of the underworld.

 >      "No, we better than that."
 >      She sighed in resignation.  "If you're not cops and you're
 > not Yakuza, what are you?"
 >      "People who what your plartner," the little man insisted.
 >      Tina's eyes went wide.  "He, are you the guys who were
 > shooting at him at the zoo?"
 >      One of the henchmen shyly held up his hand.  The other three
 > sheepishly copied him.
 >      "Boy, you guys are lousy shots," Tina said.  The men just
 > pouted.

Heh.

 >      "ENOUGH!"  The little man's arms were flapping in
 > frustration before he stopped and pointed directly at her.
 > "Where is plartner?  Answer question or you go in water!"
 >      "I told you everything I know.  Now, let me go."  She stared
 > at the murky water below.  This guy was serious.  He was going to
 > drown her if she didn't tell him what he wanted to hear.
 >      But she didn't know any thing other than drowning in a
 > livestock tank in the middle of Tokyo wasn't how she wanted to
 > end her life.  She had so much to live for.  She had photographs
 > to take.  She had places she wanted to see.  She was still a
 > virgin, for crying out loud.
 >      "Perhaps you need croser rook," he said before nodding to
 > one of his henchmen.  A turn of a crank and Tina felt herself
 > drop a couple of feet before jerking to a halt.  "See?  Scared,
 > yes?  Chinese have hell like this.  I believe it called Hell of
 > Upside Down Drowning.  Vely unpreasant."
 >      Tina's frustration bubbled over.  "I don't know anything!
 > Is your English so bad you can't understand?"
 >      "That hurt, naughty girl.  In the water you go."
 >      Before he could give the signal to his henchman, another of
 > his goons tugged at his sleeve.  With a look of irritation he
 > tilted his head to listen as the man whispered something in his
 > ear.  His surprise at what he heard was evident in the way he
 > jerked away and frowned.  "You kidding," he gasped.
 >      Stepping up to the tank, he leaned over and looked both ways
 > in the water.  Stepping back, he frowned again.  "Where you get?"
 >      The goon leaned over and whispered his answer.  The little
 > man's reaction was swift.  Slapping the larger man's face, he
 > glared at his men.  "IDIOTS!  You steal fish in Tokyo?  You
 > danger mission with petty theft?  What if caught?  Uncle say you
 > best.  I think you best blockheads."

Says the man who needs a book to conduct an interrogation.

 >      With a sigh, the little man shook his head and turned back
 > to Tina.  "Velly solly, Miss Foster.  My men do something vely
 > stupid.  They steal fish for tank."
 >      "Fish?" Tina asked, not certain she really wanted to know.
 > After all, drowning was bad enough.  What could be worse?
 >      "Yes, piranha fish.  Ten of them."
 >      A cold knot formed in Tina's previously upset stomach.  She
 > had seen what a school of those little fish could do in the
 > Amazon.  The fear of drowning quickly became less important.

Uh, as much as I hate to topple piranha off their pedestal of Popcorn 
Movie Death Fish, if she was actually _in_ the Amazon with people who 
hung around piranha this wouldn't be the reaction. Piranha go fairly 
torpid in cool water, generally ignore the relative giants who splash 
around them (like most tribesmen), and only become a real danger to 
humans when they're starving and in much larger numbers than ten.

 >      Pulling out his black book, the little man flipped through a
 > few pages, paused and then flipped through more pages.  Soon, he
 > was frantically going backwards and forwards through the book
 > before suddenly throwing it on the floor in disgust.  "Book no
 > talk about piranha fish.  This vely compricated."
 >      He was just beginning to pace, considering Tina's fate when
 > a voice boomed in precise Japanese from somewhere behind the
 > warehouse.
 >      "This is the police.  You are surrounded.  Put down your
 > weapons and come out with your hands up."
 >      The effect on the men in the warehouse was electric.
 > Shouting orders in a language Tina didn't understand, the little
 > man launched his men into action.  In an instant, men in dark
 > suits were running every which way; gathering items in the
 > makeshift office, getting into cars, and totally forgetting about
 > their captive.  When the man in charge of the winch that
 > controlled Tina's rope abandoned his post, Tina was plunged
 > towards the murky water below.
 >      Her scream of terror was cut off as she jerked to a halt.
 > Forcing open one eye, she found herself only two feet above the
 > water with the piranha anxiously swirling about beneath her head.
 > She cautiously looked towards the winch.  Her life was spared, or
 > at least her death delayed, because the rope had become entangled
 > in the winch crank.
 >      "Nice fishie," she said in a high-pitched voice.  "You don't
 > want to eat me."  Moving only her eyes, she slowly looked around
 > for help.  Unfortunately, everyone was piling into cars and
 > stuffing things into the vehicles' trunks.  Two paused only long
 > enough to throw a couple of bear can-sized objects at the stacks
 > of wooden crates along the back wall.

Beer can, right? I'm suddenly seeing Race Bannon's evil clone hucking a 
barrel at 'em.

 >      With loud bangs, the crates burst into flames.

Reason #510 NOT to hide in an abandoned fireworks factory.

 > The fire
 > quickly began to spread to other debris shoved haphazardly along
 > the side walls.  In seconds, Tina was surrounded on three sides
 > by fire.
 >      A roar of engines and squealing tires accompanied the small
 > caravan of cars as they burst through the warehouse doors and
 > quickly disappeared into the night.

"Amid a roar of engines and squealing tires, the small caravan of cars 
burst through the warehouse doors and quickly disappeared into the night."

Dunno if that's that much better but as it is I have the image of a 
ghetto blaster playing the Oxford Chamber Choir's Honda commercial.

 >      In seconds, Tina was alone.  "I don't want to drown.  I
 > don't want to be eaten by piranha.  I don't want to burn.  I just
 > want to go home," she whined.

Generally the hysterics begin with calls for help that nobody listens to.

 >      Seconds passed as the fire grew.  Smoke began to fill the
 > air and the heat was causing her to sweat.  Only the sounds of
 > burning crates broke the silence.
 >      She coughed a few times on the fouling air, the act causing
 > her head to pound.  Glancing around for some way of saving
 > herself, she caught sight of a figure moving swiftly through the
 > warehouse, heading for the office.  She didn't know who it was.
 > She didn't really care.
 >      "Help me!" she called before a coughing fit overwhelmed her.
 >      The figure stopped.  "Tina?"
 >      She knew that voice.  "STEVEN?"
 >      "What are you doing up there?" Steven said, as he walked up
 > to the stock tank.
 >      Tina coughed again.  "Hanging around," she snapped.  "Get me
 > down!"
 >      "Sure thing."  He looked around as if trying to find some
 > way of reaching her.  "Ummm, how did you get up there?"
 >      A loud 'pop' and hiss drew their attention to her rope.
 > Burning debris had fallen on it.  The old rope burst into flame.
 >      "That's not good," Steven said as she started to climb over
 > the steel wall of the stock tank.

Sudden sex change! (yeah, yeah, I know)

 >      "I wouldn't do that, if I were you," Tina warned.  "Your
 > friends stocked the tank with piranha."
 >      Steven froze.  "And that's worse.  How on earth did you get
 > yourself into this?"
 >      The burning rope slipped, dropping her another few inches.
 > "I met YOU!  Now, get me down!"

A couple of fibers burn through, one strand frays, and I don't think she 
drops that far. Unless the fire is near the winch and it's burning 
through the snarl that's keeping her up.

 >      "Okay.  Ummmm, I better drain the tank first."  He pulled
 > out a handful of change and started sorting through the coins.
 >      "What are you doing?  You can't buy off piranha," she
 > yelled.
 >      "Patience, I'm looking for something."  He sorted through a
 > few more coins before finding the one he was looking for.
 > Pocketing the rest, he held up what looked to be a 500 yen coin.

Saying 'patience' in the middle of a burning building is rather callow 
of him.

 >      She cast another glance at the burning rope.  Strands had
 > already begun to separate as the fire worked its way through the
 > old rope.
 >      Before she could admonish him to hurry up, he peeled
 > something off one side of the coin and knelt down by the tank.
 > "Cover your eyes," he said.  When she gave him a frustrated look,
 > he sheepishly nodded.  "Or just close them."
 >      Slapping the coin on the outside of the tank, he jumped
 > aside.  A few seconds later, there was a loud 'bang' that caused
 > ripples to race across the water's surface, irritating the
 > piranha and causing them to jump disturbingly close to Tina's
 > face.
 >      Steven stepped forward and bent over to examine the spot
 > where he had planted the coin.  "I don't understand it," he said,
 > running a hand through his dark hair.  "They said in training the
 > 500 yen explosive would blow a one foot wide hole in inch thick
 > steel."
 >      Tina squealed as the rope slipped again, this time causing
 > her blond hair to touch the water.  One enterprising piranha
 > began nibbling on the exposed hair.  "Stay away from my split
 > ends!  Steven, DO something!"
 >      In frustration, Steven stood up and kicked the side of the
 > tank.  There came a crack followed by loud rumble.  "Uh oh," he
 > said before diving aside.

Again with the cracking metal. Gimme a nice, mellow, low-toned 
BONNNNNNNNNNG and then the steel starts to groan.

 >      With a sound like thunder, the entire side of the tank gave
 > way, spilling hundreds of gallons of water across the warehouse
 > floor and leaving piranha flopping in its wake.
 >      Steven was just admiring his handiwork when the rope holding
 > Tina gave way with a loud 'snap'.  She screamed and closed her
 > eyes as she fell.  Her previous fears of drowning or being eaten
 > by piranha were replaced by the very real possibility of breaking
 > her neck.
 >      Her scream was cut off when she felt herself collide with
 > another body before landing in the wet bottom of the stock tank.
 >      She rolled over to see Steven laying on his back partway
 > underneath her.  He tilted his head up and smiled.  "You okay?"
 > he asked.
 >      Tina forced a tired smile and rested her head on his thigh.
 > "I thought I was dead."
 >      When she looked up again, he was examining the ceiling of
 > the burning warehouse.  "You know, I always thought these places
 > had sprinkler --"  His observation was cut off by a loud 'pop'
 > and an even louder alarm bell.  In seconds, they were both
 > thoroughly soaked by the fire suppression system.  "Oh, there it
 > is," he said.

What, no halon? Just for that I'm taking away your BOFH merit badge.

 >      Tina didn't know whether to laugh or hit him.

Considering your limbs are trussed, one of those options is not practical.

 > The situation
 > was so absurd, both laying in the bottom of a destroyed stock
 > tank surrounded by flopping piranha and he's making some crazy
 > observation about the sprinklers.  Her relief at being rescued
 > finally won out.  Her laughter bubbled up and soon echoed his as
 > they lay there in their impromptu shower.
 >      Sounds of approaching sirens slowed their mirth.
 >      "Can you stand?" he asked.
 >      "I can't even feel my feet."  She rolled off him and tried
 > to sit up.  It wasn't easy considering her hands were still tied
 > behind her back.
 >      "We can't wait until you can walk," he said, standing up.
 > "I better carry you."
 >      He helped her up as much as she could stand, the pain from
 > her abused ankles causing her to cry out.

Isn't that always the way?

 > Bending over, he
 > hefted her onto his shoulder and quickly worked his way around
 > the flopping fish and through the shattered door.
 >      Outside, he darted left and into the welcoming darkness only
 > to turn right again into an alley that paralleled the road.

If this is really a warehouse district, "roads" are more of a 
suggestion. There's a lot of asphalt for loaders and suchlike.

 > Trying a few doors as he went, he finally found one unlocked.
 > Pushing it open, he carried Tina inside and kicked it shut, just
 > as the fire and police vehicles reached the warehouse.

The _burning_ warehouse, right? Not the one they just found to hide in?

 > It took a
 > few moments for their eyes to adjust to the darkness.  She felt
 > herself being carried over to a wall and then set down on a stack
 > of old burlap bags.  Steven quickly set about removing her bonds.
 >      Once untied, she rubbed her wrists and ankles, trying to
 > restore circulation.  Between listening for prowling police, he
 > helped as best he dared.
 >      "You have nice legs," he said, running his fingers over a
 > tortured ankle.  "I'll bet you were a runner in college."

Adrenaline: breaking barriers that scoff at Spanish Fly for over 500 years!

 >      She paused and looked him in the eyes. "No, I was a swimmer
 > in high school."
 >      "Well, swimmers have nice legs, too," he replied.  She
 > couldn't be sure but it appeared to her in the darkened room that
 > he was blushing.
 >      "That's the first nice thing you've said to me."  Lowering
 > her eyes, she went back to rubbing her wrists.  It was hard for
 > her to not blush in response.  She had to admit, her first
 > impression about him was correct; he was good looking and
 > probably would make some girl very happy.  Still, something
 > wouldn't allow her to look at him that way.  Every time she
 > glanced at him, all she could see was Kaoru and feel Kaoru's
 > hands on her legs.  It was almost a dream come true, despite the
 > tacky location and the fact they were hiding from the police.

And the lack of adequate lighting probably helps.

 >      "Once you're able to walk again, I think it best we put as
 > much distance between us and that warehouse as we can," he said
 > with a serious expression.

Dude, jack a forklift.

 >      Tina shook her hands and wiggled her fingers as the needle-like
 > pains signifying returning circulation roamed across her
 > hands.  "Why did you come back?" she asked, remembering how he
 > had deserted her before.
 >      "To tell the truth, I wasn't looking for you," he replied,
 > his hands stopping their gentle massage of her ankles.  His eyes
 > refused to meet hers.  "I was trying to find out more about what
 > those guys have planned and traced them to the warehouse.  You
 > just happened to be there."
 >      She regarded him with a mixture of curiosity and irritation.
 > "Is that why you ran out on me at the house?"
 >      His hands left her ankles and he sat back on the dusty
 > floor.  Drawing a deep breath, he looked up at the ceiling.  "No,
 > that was panic.  I'm really sorry about that.  I didn't know
 > where I was and fear of what those guys might do with me, if I
 > was captured...," he finally admitted with an embarrassed shake
 > of his head.  "I shouldn't even be doing this kind of work.  I'm
 > not cut out for all this espionage stuff."

I'm sure if you call back to the home office they'll send in a black ops 
team to get you back safely.

 >      Tina drew a deep breath and flexed her fingers again.  They
 > were almost beginning to feel normal.  "Steven, what's going on?
 > Who are those guys?" she asked softly.
 >      Steven sighed.  "I guess you deserve an answer.  You've
 > certainly earned the right to know," he said adding a painful
 > smile as his eyes captured hers.  Even in the subdued light of
 > the room, she could see how difficult this was for him.  Maybe he
 > was just trying to protect her from something worse than what
 > she'd already been through.  Maybe he didn't really know what was
 > going on.  In any case, she wanted the truth.
 >      Returning to her ankles, his strong hands gently massaged
 > the bruises caused by the rope.  "Those guys are Koreans, the bad
 > kind.

"Cut-rate animators bleeding the very life from the Japanese 
entertainment industry."

 > They're in this country with some new kind of weapon.  I
 > don't know much about it, my partner was the expert on that sort
 > of stuff but I could tell by his expression when we saw what they
 > had, it scared him."
 >      "Weapon?  Like a bomb?" she asked, leaning forward and
 > dropping her voice as if someone else might be close enough to
 > listen.
 >      "Not a bomb in the sense you're thinking.  It's something
 > radically new.  All I know is what he told me; something about it
 > makes your hair fall out," he admitted.

It's a global cure for cancer! Pharmaceutical companies will all go 
bankrupt!

 >      Tina drew back and frowned.  "That doesn't sound like
 > something those guys would kill someone for.  In fact, it doesn't
 > sound very dangerous at all."
 >      "That's the problem," he said, his hands working their way
 > up the calf of her left leg.  He didn't appear to be paying
 > attention to what he was doing but his hands were beginning to
 > have an effect on her.  "I don't know WHY it makes your hair fall
 > out.  It could be radiation or it could be something else
 > entirely.  It must be pretty powerful or they wouldn't be going
 > through all this trouble to get the key code back," he said, a
 > hand leaving her leg and patting a spot behind his tie just under
 > his throat.
 >      As his hands returned to massaging their way up to her knee,
 > she slowly reached out and slapped them away while still looking
 > him in the eyes.  That was as far as she was going to allow.
 > "Why would they bring something like that to Japan?  The worst
 > they could do with it would be embarrass a bunch of people and
 > boost the wig sales."
 >      Steven stood up and looked towards the room's only window.
 > "Yeah, maybe they've cornered the market in artificial hair and
 > are looking to make a killing before going home," he said with
 > just a touch of sarcasm in his voice.  "And maybe it's a lot more
 > powerful than we know.  All I have to go on is my partner's
 > reaction to seeing it and the fact the Koreans are still hunting
 > for the key."
 >      Tina tested her feet by wiggling them slightly.  Feeling
 > only a little pain, leaned back on the pile of bags and regarded
 > Steven with a frown.  "Well, this is all too much for me.  I'm
 > going home."
 >      "You can't do that," Steven said in a flat voice.
 >      "Why not?"
 >      "Because that house is the first place the Koreans are going
 > to look for you.  If you go back there, you'll be putting
 > everyone who lives there with you in danger."
 >      His expression and tone of voice caused Tina to shiver.  She
 > certainly didn't want to put anyone else in through what she had
 > experienced this evening, especially Aoi and Kaoru.  There was
 > also Taeko and Chika-chan to consider.  They certainly didn't
 > deserve that kind of treatment.  Maya, maybe, but not the others.

Anime continuity, right.

 > Miss Manager could probably take care of herself, remembering how
 > the woman handled Steve's pistol like she had been doing it all
 > her life.  There was obviously more to Miyabi Kagurazaki that
 > Tina had been able to detect.  "But won't everyone be in danger
 > just because they live there?" she asked with a grimace.
 >      "I don't think so," he said, kneeling down and checking her
 > bruised ankles.  "The Koreans already know you're on the run.
 > They might watch the house in case you return but I doubt they
 > will do anything.  They probably knew this was their only chance
 > to grab you.  If you don't go back, I doubt they will do anything
 > more than watch."
 >      "Why don't I just go to the police?  They'll protect me,"
 > Tina said.
 >      Steve nodded.  "Until the police are finished questioning
 > you.  Then what?"

Well, or they all mount an attack on the 13th precinct, and then they 
have to let the Yakuza hitman out of the cells and fight together 
against a common enemy until Samuel L. Jackson shows up in a helicopter.

 >      Tina shrugged.  "I go... home."  The realization of what
 > that meant struck her like a baseball bat to the head.  She'd be
 > right back where she was before and this time, she'd probably be
 > putting everyone else in danger.
 >      Steve seemed to read her mind.  "Right now, you are the only
 > link the Koreans have to me.  If you go back home, they'll just
 > come to get you again.  This time, they won't have to pretend
 > they're police."
 >      Images of the Koreans torturing everyone to find out about
 > Steven reran themselves in her head.  She wouldn't be able to
 > live with herself, if she were the cause of that.  Well, maybe if
 > they tortured Maya... just a little.
 >      "The only safe place for you right now is with me.  I know
 > of one place we can go.  Because I'm the only one who knows about
 > it, we'll probably be safe there.  If we leave now and travel by
 > night, we can be there before dawn.  Then we can figure out what
 > to do next.  Can you walk?"   He held out a hand to help her up.
 >      "I suppose I better," she replied, gathering her still sore
 > feet under her to stand.  "I can't have you carrying me
 > everywhere."
 >      "Oh, about that," he said as he began to rummage through his
 > suit coat.  After a few abortive tries, he finally found what he
 > was looking for.  Holding a small box, he opened it and pulled
 > out a couple of rings.  Sliding one on the ring finger of his
 > left hand, he offered the other to Tina.  "If we are going to
 > travel together, it would be easier if people think we are
 > husband and wife."
 >      "WHAT?" she gasped, dropping back on the pile of burlap
 > bags.  "I can't do that!"  She stared at the tiny ring like it
 > was a horrible little creature.

But she _loves_ horrible little creatures. ;)

 >      "Look, we need the cover.  This will allow us to blend in as
 > we travel.  I have a military ID that says I'm an Air Force
 > Captain.  We can pretend you're my wife and we're on vacation
 > touring Japan."
 >      "I'm NOT sleeping with you!" she growled.
 >      "And I'm not asking you to," he insisted in a calm voice.
 > "This is just for show.  We don't have to do anything to prove we
 > are married.  It'll be a lot easier than sleeping in the woods
 > every night."
 >      Tina frowned at the little gold band with its tiny diamond.
 > The only person she ever wanted to receive one of those from was
 > Kaoru.  Her eyes went from the ring to Steven's face and back
 > again.  Despite her reservations, she had to admit he was right
 > about how it would be better sleeping at an inn than a tent or
 > something.  Still, she wanted one thing understood.  "I've seen
 > how you secret agents act.  I've seen all the James Bond movies.
 > You gotta promise, no hankie-pankie."
 >      "I promise," he said with a light chuckle.  "I won't do
 > anything to compromise your honor."
 >      "Well..."  She looked at the ring again.  It wasn't a bad
 > wedding ring.  Actually, it looked a bit like the one she hoped
 > she would wear some day.  It wasn't as if they were going to do
 > anything married people would do, she certainly wasn't going to
 > let him have THAT.  "I suppose you're right," she said taking the
 > ring in her hand.
 >      "Don't worry.  It's a fake diamond," he said, holding out
 > his hand again to help her to her feet.

"And if you dip it in water then smack it against some hard surface, you 
have about 20 seconds before the smoke bomb goes off."

 > "You just have to do a
 > little playacting when in public.  Just act like you think a
 > married woman would and you'll do fine."
 >      "The diamond isn't real?" she asked, more disappointment in
 > her voice than she intended.
 >      "No more than the marriage."
 >      "Oh that's just great," she grumped.  Slipping the ring on
 > her own finger, she held her hand out flat to examine it.  The
 > phony diamond sparkled in the room's dim light.  Running her
 > thumb along its smooth bottom, she had to admit it looked like it
 > belonged on her finger. "Don't look that bad," she finally said.
 >      His hand closed over hers and he gently helped her to her
 > wobbly feet.  "We better be on our way, Mrs. Lawrence."
 >      "Lawrence?" she asked with a frown.
 >      "Remember?  That's my cover name, Jeffrey Lawrence."  He
 > grinned as his arm went around her waist when she almost lost her
 > balance from one of her sore ankles giving out.
 >      "I can't remember all that," she said trying to disengage
 > herself from his arm.  He allowed it but hovered close as she
 > tried out her wobbly legs.  "Can't I just call you Steven?"
 >      "Well, my ID says I'm Jeffrey S. Lawrence.  I guess we can
 > get by with you calling me by my middle name.  I'll just tell
 > people I'm J. Steven Lawrence.  That'll work," he said with a
 > nod.
 >      Gently taking her arm, he guided her towards the door.
 > Cracking it open enough to see back up the alley, he paused
 > before pushing it completely open.  She was only slightly
 > bothered that his touch no longer annoyed her.  "It looks like
 > everyone is busy with the fire.  Come on," he said.
 >      Together, they stepped into the alley and turned away from
 > the burning warehouse.  It wasn't easy, Tina's ankles were
 > anything but ready to travel.  With his help, they soon reached a
 > sidewalk leading away from the warehouse and into town.  A subway
 > station wasn't far and it had a stop at the right train station.
 > "This is a lousy way to start a marriage," she grumped.

Dude, jack a _bicycle_?

 >      "If it'll make you any happier, I'll carry you over the
 > threshold of the first inn we stay at," he replied, his voice
 > sounding tired.
 >      Tina didn't respond.  Her ankles hurt, her head was
 > pounding, and all she could think about was how she got herself
 > into this mess.

Aside from the piranha thing, not bad at all. (And I wouldn't quibble 
except that Tina has no trouble around animals which are, in the long 
run, much more dangerous.)

--GF

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