[FFML] [ranma][spamfic][revision] Ranma VS the Power of Voodoo

I wrote this last night, in a fit of hyperactivity.
I find myself asking: WHY?
However as it was not disliked with a shower of threats and such,
I give you the revised:
Ranma VS the Power of Voodoo.

A Ranma 1/2 spamfic
By Sal

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, not at all. They belong to
Rumiko Takashi, and this is intended as a tribute, if anything.

Note: Set post Manga or something. Probably violates canon somewhere.
Reading may cause you to wish to use cannon(s) to violate this authors
personal space. May contain nuts.

Ranma and Akane ran towards school, hand in hand. Maybe, things might
turn out all right between the two of them after all? With this bright
and hopefull thought on their minds they cleared the gate, and skidded
to a stop. For standing directly in front of them, clothed in
downright weird regalia was...Gosunkugi? Yes, it seemed that under the
wax dribbled cow skull with candles burning in its eye sockets and
inside a too large robe with skull markings along its hems, shining like
libarachi with all those sequins on said robe, and behind the face paint
which spelled out 'vudou' in poor lettering was that erstwhile
personage. The stuffed rat pinned to his back was, everyone agreed,
just the finishing touch to go from 'downright weird' to 'escaped mental
patient'. It wouldn't have been so bad, but someone had painted it a
pastel purple with neon orange stripes.

Standing somewhat wobbly behind a set of complex markings on the ground,
looking as if he had had even less sleep than normal, his normal pallor
even worse than it had been the entire time they had known him, was a
shaky Hikaru Gosunkugi. Self-styled voodoo practitioner.

"Ranma," he slurred out, "your time has come...for all three of you!"
He began muttering to himself too quietly to be heard, then exploding
out with "Your doom is here, and Akane will be free! You can't kill
what's not alive! Your defeat is now!' Unfortunately for him, this
effort seemed to exhaust him, and he fell over with glazed eyes,
muttering about a servant arising.

Ranma just looked at Akane, feeling extremely defensive of her, and not
really knowing what on Earth to expect from the voodoo boy. His wait
was soon ended, as the ground in the center of the markings erupted and
an animated skeletal corpse appeared with a beleaguered moan.
"Ungaaaa..." it cried as it focused upon the pigtailed martial artist,
and thoughts began trickling through the magically animated remnants of
its mind.

The target of this rather piteous moan quickly assumed a stance and
waited for his opponent to make a move of some sort. It was not long at
all before the undead, with little zombie bits flaking off onto the
ground, began its attack. "Ungggggggg!" it cried, and shuffled forward.

Ranma just stared at it, then slowly dropped his stance.

"Ungggggahhh!" came again the blood chilling cry, as the Undead warrior
slowly inched its way towards its intended victim.

Ranma looked up at the clock tower after a few minutes had passed, and
asked a bit nervously of the unstable voodoist:

"Um...Gos? Does it move any faster?"

The questioned boy shoved himself back up to a wobbly sitting position
and stared at the zombie he had brought up, looking about ready to cry.
"...all that work...ten nights...no sleep.."

"Uh...Guess not," Came the reply, as Ranma put his arms behind his head
and began playing with his pigtail, most of the other students having
wandered off after a few minutes earlier, when no fight had been in the
offering.

"Umm...Well, I kinda promised my mom I'd try and not be so late any
more, yaknow...I don't suppose it'll just be here later, and I can fight
it then, or something?" When no response but a muffled sob was in the
offering, he just shrugged, bounced off the zombie's head, and ran to
class, arriving barely before the bell rang.

The zombie however, looked slowly around. Left...right...left...right.
As it was then lunch time, it saw its designated target off eating, and
began to turn towards him...only to have lunch end, its head bounced off
of again, and another series of hours pass while it slowly scanned left,
then right, then back left again. It was working on looking right once
more as the spell which had called it up suddenly ended. The animated
dead, with what could pass for a embarrased 'what can you do?' shrug,
once again fell to the embrace of the earth.

-End

End note: Thanks to Gary Kleppe, jared waddell, and Andrew Petalik for the comments. Hopefully this is a bit less harsh on the eyes this time around.

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