Given how big a fan I am for the whole TOP universe, I should be rather
ashamed to have taken so long to reply (especially since I couldn't
contribute much to ye olde discussion when TOP and its sequels were
originally posted.) In my defense, I'm preparing for an MS certification
exam, and it's a bit hard to get away from the cram sessions. ;)

In any case, by sheer coincidence I happened to reread the entire TOP saga
just last month, in chronological order (from "Time Never Did Assuage" to "A
Better World Than This.") So, I have them relatively fresh in my mind. That
should help a bit, at least, for the C&C.

First things first: since "The Nature of Love" is a revision, rather than a
new installment, that's where I started. Rereading the original, I found a
couple of bits that stuck with me, both in style as well as in the narrative
itself. I don't know how helpful these can be, but I'll give it a shot.

For starters, the references to Kentaro's particular opinion of Ranma's
"psychological issues" seem tighter now. There are fewer direct mentions of
it in the prose, and those that remain have been expanded upon, so quite a
bit of redundancy is gone in exchange for the greater impact where they do
become relevant. In this vein, the part where Ranma has Kentaro own up to
said opinion is a very welcome addition --the previous version mentioned
that it was a point of contention in their relationship, and I always
thought it was an interesting aspect to explore.

Now, all throughout the scenes at the dinner table, and then with Nabiki and
the album, I kept thinking of both TNDA and the original TOP. Now, Ranma has
known Kentaro for three and a half years; it's been six years since she was
locked, almost two of which were spent trying to find a cure. Assuming that
Ranma 1/2 takes place within a year or so (despite the various New Year's
Eve celebrations and whatnot :P) then technically, for the purposes of TOP,
Ranma was in the Tendo household for less than three years. Ranma has known
and been in the company of Kentaro longer than the Tendos, particularly
during a period when she most needed emotional and psychological support, so
Akane and Nabiki's "claim" to him (for lack of a better word) strikes me as
too aggressive, even now.

Said claim IS a major driving force of the plot, though, so dealing with it
is vital. It just struck me as odd, seeing how nobody --not even Kentaro
himself-- had this discrepancy (in regards to the timeline) in mind during
their verbal confrontations. Also, had it not been for him, in what shape
would have Akane found Ranma? The Ranma from TNDA was dangerously close to a
psychological breakdown; without a way to curb her hostility, it's likely it
would have either increased to the point it would have consumed her, or she
would've been expelled from the campus altogether over some altercation.
Allowing that Akane could have found her even then, what sort of
relationship would have resulted from that? If nothing else, the Tendos
should appreciate that Kentaro's influence helped Ranma break out of the
self-destructive, vicious circle of denial and hostility she was in.

But then, Nabiki does make an attempt to sympathize with Kentaro, and Nodoka
is a whole other issue. All things considered, Akane herself is
exceptionally aggressive towards Kentaro, and I'm still struggling to find
some justification for her provoking him to the fight in the dojo. She's not
the type to vent her anger on those weaker than her, or to give affronts to
her personal honor (real or imagined) such importance.

Speaking of Akane, there's a rather telling bit during her rooftop chat with
Ranma. At a point near the beginning, the latter comments on her missing
pigtail by saying that "[Akane] told [her] once that it wasn't very
attractive on a woman." This may have been a throwaway quip for one of them
at the time, but still... Even if Ranma were paraphrasing the original
comment, what could have Akane meant by that? To say "not attractive on a
woman" is a phrase loaded with meaning --not only because it points out
that, in Akane's mind, Ranma _was_ a woman (a topic that already covered to
great extent in TOP,) but also because it implies that, from Akane's
perspective, Ranma should aspire to be an _attractive_ woman. But attractive
to whom? If the line was spoken at a point when they had given up hope, and
Akane was trying to get both of them to move on, why would she want Ranma to
try and be attractive? It's an idea that usually conveys that someone _else_
would find her physically attractive, and that such attraction should be
seen as a good thing. Or am I reading too much into a comment that Akane
probably just made offhand?

Then there's this fragment:

"Dammit, Akane."  Ranma sounded angry.  "Do you know the number of times I
was sure I had found a cure for my condition?  Each time, the 'sure' thing
turned out to be a bust.  So I want to know:  if it doesn't work, will you
want to marry me?"

Akane began to sob.  The sobs were muffled after a few seconds, either
because she was covering her face with her hands or Ranma was holding Akane
to her.

After a few minutes, Akane spoke up again.  "I'm s-sorry Ranma.  I'm weak,
I
know that.  I w-want you as a man.  I want to marry you when you become a
man.  I'm sorry that I can't... do the things necessary to love you as a
woman.  But p-please, don't disregard me because of this.  Would Kentaro be
able to love you if you were a man?"

In view of the ending, with Ranma's test, this also got me thinking: when
presented with the choice, Kentaro was willing to curse himself with magic
he knew relatively little about, regardless of the consequences. On the
other hand, since Akane knew all about Jusenkyo, and the group had even gone
back to the springs while looking for a cure, it means that she had the
exact same opportunity to make the same choice as Kentaro, but she chose to
move on and accept defeat instead. I'm not asking for Ranma or Kentaro to
confront her with this choice, though, it's just an interesting contrast I
found worthy of notice.

Oh, and  she never did answer Ranma's question. Not directly, anyway.

On to other things: namely, Kentaro's reaction to the unlocking. Even after
a few rereadings, I'm not sure whether he could have known at any point
whether the Kaisuifuu would unlock or cure the curse, but I'm fairly certain
he _must_ have realized, from Genma's changes alone, that hot and cold water
triggered the transformation (which makes his confusion at Nabiki filling a
thermos a bit out of place.)

Anyway, even though most of TOP and TNL are seen from Kentaro's point of
view, I'd like to know what _Ranma_ thought about his reaction at the
mountain. His behavior after she slipped into the dojo with him was
remarkably distant. Even if we know his reasons (his belief that he's
inevitably losing Ranma,) she doesn't, and I got the impression that she
felt betrayed and more than a little insulted by his "going-away present"
response to her advances. Then came the Kaisuifuu, and everyone involved had
every reason to believe that Kentaro had chosen _not_ to accept Ranma as a
man. Yes, Nabiki would helpfully point out that he probably didn't know what
the kettle did, but all that Ranma saw was that Kentaro had run away after
seeing him turn back into a man. Thus, his initial impression must have been
every bit as terrible as Kentaro's own. At that moment, and up until Nabiki
had the presence of mind to make her suggestion, he must have thought that
all the trust and companionship and even affection that had built up between
the two of them had been in vain, that Kentaro really did care only for
Ranma as a woman. Several stories in the TOP universe elaborate on this very
issue, and it has led to more than a few heated arguments between them, but
it is during that scene, a pivotal moment of the series, that I feel we
should get some insight on Ranma's thoughts. I don't know if it would be
enough to support a whole new installment, and the switch in perspective
within TNL itself would be jarring. However, there's a fair bit of
introspection that Ranma had to go through between Mt. Horai and Kentaro's
apartment (his interaction with Akane included,) and I feel it would help
the overall narrative to let us see it firsthand.

Oh, I was a bit sad to see the "ending theme" go, having suggested it all
those years ago. :P But nevermind that, it felt a bit corny anyway, and
there are DoCo songs that fit the series' themes better anyway. ;)

Now we move on to "With Thy Brave Bearing." I thought that, as always, the
evolution of R&K's relationship was handled nicely, especially with the way
Tange brought up some issues that Ranma needed to confront about said
relationship. The guy may be a jerk, but he made for a good stand-in for the
audience in asking Ranma very simple, but ultimately difficult questions
about her opinion of Kentaro. He's a worthy new character, and it'd be good
to see more of him in the future.

There was one bit that stuck with me, though: at the beginning, Ranma thinks
about how Kentaro had never slept on the futon with her; later on, she lets
him do considerably more than that. I didn't think the scene was entirely
out of character, but it did feel out of the blue: it was a tremendous leap
for her, especially since Kentaro typically backs off and lets her move
things at her own pace. By contrast, here she asks a rather heavy question
("How does it feel to be kissed by a man?") and, even as he considers this
and replies, he unbuttons her blouse and continues where he left off, so to
speak. Normally, I'd expect her to stop him, albeit gently, or him to back
down and deliver one of his patented speeches --while I can understand why
he didn't act as expected, I _was_ surprised that _she_ let him.

Nevertheless, let's take their behavior at face value. For one thing, I
don't know if Ranma's reactions confirm or deny the place of "Technical
Virginity" in the TOP canon (TNDA certainly shunted "Building Bridges" to
the side. :P) There's a similar scene in "Virginity" that's probably
coloring my own interpretations of the characters' behavior, as seen above.
So, this scene in "Brave Bearing" reminded me so strongly of it that I can
interpret it as either a continuation of that aspect of R&K's relationship,
or an outright replacement of Sebastian's scene. I'd rather see it as the
former, helping the two stories interlock through these similar scenes.

As a final comment on the scene itself, I suppose Kentaro should be
infinitely grateful that Ranma never remembered Kuno and Happosai's unwanted
groping, and therefore never associated his own ministrations to those.
"Serendipity" probably would've never happened if she had. ;)

Speaking of which, that concept, and the whole appearance of Tange, do make
me wonder just what happened to the other Ranma 1/2 regulars. With
Webdragon's "Bridges" outside the regular TOP continuity (due to TNDA
replacing it through Ranma's trip at the end of the semester) we have no
idea what the rivals have been doing. With Ryouga's luck (and Ranma's own,)
his sense of direction should've homed into her at least once or twice
during her three-plus years of college, and I'm positive Ukyou would have
had something to say during "The Nature of Love" itself. The narrative is
tight enough as it is --there's no need to burden it with extraneous
characters making full appearances-- but a quick mention here and there
would help define the context for Ranma 1/2 readers, especially those of us
curious about what they think of Ranma now, and how she sees them in return.

There was mention on the FFML that this Ranma wasn't as experienced in
martial arts as the manga version, and I'd like to expand a little on that.
>From what I can tell, there are six major events, after Herb, that might
have had influence in Ranma's abilities: the Ryuugenzawa expedition, Ryuu
Kumon, Rouge and Pantyhouse Tarou's squabble, the Battle Dougi, Konatsu, and
the Mt. Phoenix story. Of those, I can say with some degree of confidence
(nothing is ever certain, after all) that Ranma et al were too preoccupied
with finding a cure to give any help to Shinnosuke or the monks in charge of
the Dougi, or to visit the Sexy Kunoichi Teahouse. On the other hand, Rouge
would have dropped in anyway, and the threat of Jusenkyo drying up was
probably what mobilized the TOP gang all the same. However, while Nodoka
would have probably visited while Ryuu was in town, it's just as hard to say
whether they even met him, or if they handled him in a completely different
matter, so we shouldn't be quick to dismiss him or the Yamasenken/Umisenken
from Ranma's experience. Likewise, it's hard to tell just how Ranma's
condition caused the Rouge and Phoenix stories to diverge from the original
timeline.

At the end of "Definitions of Hell," I was worried for TOP-Ranma when she
and TIL-Ranma went up against the Dreamkiller, and not just because she was
pregnant. The Ranma from "Thy Inward Love" had considerably more combat
experience with deadlier enemies than the Ranma from "Thy Outward Part," and
even he had a hell of a time (pardon the pun) with the creature.
"Serendipity" also made a passing comment about how Ranma wanted to get
"someone in her league" to fight so she wouldn't grow soft. The appearance
of Tange, however, makes me reconsider: did he prove that she was in fact
losing her edge, or that she was still in top form and he really was up to
her standards? Regardless of manga stories that might or might have not
happened in the TOP timeline, this Ranma hasn't done much beyond teaching
for the last three years. Without one of her former rivals as a measuring
rod, it's hard to tell how badly (if at all) her skills have deteriorated
while in college.

All the same, I found it fascinating, and extremely natural, that a good
fight would lift Ranma's spirits. After all, as much as TOP is about her
maturity as a person ,and her exploring her sexuality as she grows into
adulthood, Ranma _is_ very much a warrior, and there was always that nagging
feeling that being locked had clipped her wings somewhat. With Tange in the
picture, it's obvious that she still has the heart of a warrior, yearning to
better herself among her peers even as she passes down the Art to her
students. If you have any further ideas for this universe, especially for
installments set after TNL, I'd like to see Tange come back to assist in
both his own character development as well as Ranma's (an appearance set
before the end of "Serendipity" would be... interesting.) Besides, Kentaro
has only seen a minuscule part of what Ranma can do, and it's time he got to
witness just how crazy Ranma's martial arts world can get. With the sort of
fortitude she has by the time of "Definitions," I bet he'd be completely
astounded by, say, her Hiryuu Shouten Ha or a measly Moko Takabisha. ;)

Oh, and I disagree with the comments (both from Ranma herself and on the
list) that Tange was just like she was at sixteen. At that age, Ranma never
went picking fights with random martial artists, all his verbal abuse was
conveniently focused on either his regular foes (and even then, he was
usually just taunting in good fun) or at the lightning rod that was Akane.

All in all, the changes to TNL were appropriate and welcome, even those as
minor as getting rid of the "-chan" endearment between Ranma and Kentaro.
"Brave Bearing" is also an excellent addition to the series, despite my
concerns about the lemon-lime scene. I still feel that, in general, people
speak a bit too formally even when in the middle of a violent argument, a
habit only Kentaro indulges in regularly in the rest of the series (I see it
as his trademark, actually. :D But when Ranma speaks the same way, it sounds
strange, even if for a college student.)

Oh! That's right. There _was_ a part where even Kentaro couldn't pull off
the formal-speech routine, and that's after his run-in with Tange. Here he
is, all bruised and battered, and even though he's lying on the ground he's
delivering a spiel on his mistakes being a lesson to the rest of Ranma's
students. Sorry, but... the guy was just hammered by a Ranma-caliber
fighter, badly enough to keep him from her (and her lessons) for an hour.
Bastion of reason that he may be, he shouldn't be that composed and
collected after such a trashing. :P


In closing, "Thy Outward Part" is always a pleasure to read. I don't know if
you have any more parts planned for it, or if these new,
chronologically-older stories will lead to revisions of those you've already
written (like "Serendipity," "Painted Smile" and "Those Tears Are Pearl")
but really I look forward to read more of your writing.

Later!

Jorge A. Pratt
jorgepratt@prodigy.net.mx
terbril@rocketmail.com


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