Benjamin A. Oliver wrote:

G'day again!

Rantage first. Got some commentary on the previous chapters that Arby's
characterization may have been a bit excessive, and his dialogue's painful to
read and such.  So... I may modify a few of the choppy bits in future chapters
such that it's the translation from his unique brand of Cockney into
dictionary-perfect English.

% Yeah, you don't want to make a reader work too hard. Otherwise they 
stop reading.

	Terra took a deep breath.  She had been waiting for this.  It was time to pick
a new secret superheroine name she could be proud of, one much better than the
one she'd been given.  "I am... the Eternal Warrior, 

% A highly amoral immortal who goes around finding combat wherever it is 
because he enjoys killing so much?

the Defender of the Earth
and Paladin of Justice.  In the name of my ancestors and the honor of the
righteous, I am the Holy Warrior --"

	"Nope!  Don't listen to 'er," Arby interrupted, fluttering in front of her. 
"She's really just th' Li'l Anklebiter, Sailor Chibi-moon."
 

% Better than being known as 'The Little Rugmuncher' :)

extraordinary pain.  The burn spread to her forehead and her eyes were blinded
for a moment.  She wept from the shock and sank to her knees.  "Wha... what did
you go and do that for?!"

	"Sendin' a distress signal," Arby explained.

	"Causing me pain and making me cry?!"
 

% Heh. A unique way of doing it, to be sure.

	"Ahh, the economy.  Right."  Chibimoon started to think about that, but then
shrugged and decided against it.  Life was considerably less painful around
Arby if she didn't think too hard about anything he said.  Turning back to
Tuxedo Kamen, she saw that despite him missing most of his shirt, he still had
his top hat and mask on.  "Ooooh, beefcake!"

	Despite having knocked out a couple dozen people, there were still a large
number of attackers Tuxedo Kamen still had to deal with.

	"Arby?" Terra asked.  "Is there any way I can help him?"

	"Well, a'course!"  Arby handed her the "Moon Prism Power for Dummies" brochure.

	Sailor Chibimoon took it and flipped through it.  "Hey, it says here I pull out
my wand and say, 'Pink Sugar Heart Attack.'"
 

% Terra: Giving people heart attacks sounds too brutal.

% Arby: Better than the "Heartburster Mix' which detonates a heart while 
it's still in a person's chest.

	Down the small hill, out of the bushes, tumbled Sailor Moon, whose forehead
collided with Chibimoon's.

	Terra staggered from the blow.  The other girl fell onto her back.  Both held
their heads and cried in unison, "WAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

	"Oh, yew's good at that," Arby commented, and fluttered off.
 

% Heh. And they are.

"

	"Don't I know you from somewhere?"  Chibimoon focused in more intensely.  Then,
her eyes broke the disguise code and saw right through it.  To her, it was
surprising who Sailor Moon ended up being.  "Usagi?!"
 

% Wah! Thye tips in Usagi's 'Clark Kent's Handbook on Impenetrable 
Disguises' didn't work.

	"Sailor Scouts?  Is that what we're called?"  Eeww, thought Terra.  That was
such a dorky organizational name.  The Counsel of Justice she could take, or
even the Defenders of Peace and Love,

% How about 'Senshi Lantern Corps' and all of them get cool rings that 
can make a green version of anything their minds can envision?

	"Yeah..."

	"Maybe we should stir up the ol' hornet's nest some more to make sure we can
fight alongside her more often."
 

% Heh. Cute, risking her life because life and death situations can be 
useful to her.


Definitely still amusing.

DB Sommer


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