As always, thanks for the prompt C&C Lurker.  ^_^

In Heaven, an event was occurring the likes of 
which had never been seen before.

Republicans and Democrats were living together in
harmony!

Or at least they would, if those fights at the buffet
tables would stop breaking out.

Due to the time difference, for every one half

hour 

that passed on Midgard, a week on would fly by in 
Asgard.  One day, four hours for every five 
minutes.  Five hours and thirty-six minutes to the

minute.  Three hundred and thirty six seconds

would 

pass in heaven for every one that passed in the 
human world.

Yeah, but how many seconds-per-second per second? :P

=P  Dammit, I actually took the time to sit down and
mathematically figure that out.  So it gets its own
paragraph.  ^_^

A little over three hours had passed since the 
Ultimate Force initiated the time-accelerating 
protocol, relative to Asgard time.  Belldandy was 
sitting poised, staring at the monitor view of 
Tannim and her sisters.

[Bell] *pokepoke* "DO something already!"

[Bell] *munches on some popcorn*  "This is still
better than watching Sex in the City."

The younger goddess was trying to extradite

herself 

from the situation using all the leverage

available 

to her nine year old body.  Her feet kicked in the

air without effect.  She lifted them and wrapped 
them around Urd's left arm in a desperation move.

"Anything-goes Lolicon Grappling!"

*snrk*

This unbalanced Urd enough to send them both 
sprawling to the floor; the crash awoke Tannim

from > > his stupor.

Not to mention the resulting free peek up Urd's
dress.

Yeah, the blue striped panties probably helped.

He silently pointed to the couch.

"Hideki," he proclaimed solemnly, causing Urd and
Skuld to facefault.

"What?  It's the name of the couch."

"Well," Tannim cleared his throat and tried to 
think optimistically. "At least things can only go

up from here."

And then the planet exploded.

You know he had to say it at some time or another.

The southern entrance was clear, as usual.  This 
time, however, Tannim elected to sneak in via the 
second floor.  As he was passing 'Goth's 
Graveyard,' a specialty store for gothic clothing 
and accessories, he decided to enter the shop and 
ask the clerk some questions.

"Got any BDSM leather outfits for a nine-year-old
Goddess?"

Wrong.  Sick and wrong.  XD

"I believe you might want to rethink your 
options," spoke Gunter with deceptive calmness.
"You could stay here, help me deal with these 
terrors, and make double your normal pay.  Or, you

could leave me here all alone, heartbroken, and no

emotional connection to you to keep me from 
breaking both your legs."

Hard to tell which is the more attractive option, 
really.

The kicker being, of course, the fact that Gunter
probably wouldn't stop at the legs.

Skuld sighed as the line went dead.  At least now 
she didn't feel so bad.  However, that didn't help

her current predicament.

"I'm bored!" she whined.

Masturbation is good for that, I hear.

Wrongsick!  XD

I'm not going to repost the third comment in this same
vein, as I believe it steps beyond the line of common
decency.  No matter how funny it was.  ^_^

Urd glanced up from her position in front of 
Tannim's laptop with a guilty expression.  "This 
isn't what it looks like!"

"I wasn't surfing your pr0n! Really!"

"Then what were you doing?"

"I... I was..." Urd hung her head in defeat and
admitted, "...hacking other peoples' pr0n...."

It was fanfiction.  The prologue to a story.  A 
self insertion, no less.

Figures.

I forgot to mention in my Author's Notes, but if
someone wants to take a stab at trying to write that
prologue, they're welcome to it.  It already has its
first good review.  ^_^

-Tannim Murphy

"Writers who take more time trying to spell than write are editors."  -Unknown

My Fics: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/126066/

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