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AZUMANGA TREK
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by Christian "Schobronics" Schober
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This work is an Azumanga Daioh - Star Trek crossover
fanfiction, a collection of sidestories for Moon Trek from Erin
Michael Winking. Knowledge of Moon Trek is not strictly
necessairy, but will help sometimes.
You can find Azumanga Trek here
http://azumangatrek.douglasavenue.com (soon)
And you can find Moon Trek here
http://moontrek.douglasavenue.com
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Disclaimer
Azumanga Daioh is a work from Kiyohiko Azuma. All licences
belong to the people they belong to. They certainly don't belong
to me.
Star Trek is a work from Gene Roddenberry. All licences
belong to the people they belong to. They certainly don't belong
to me.
Ranma 1/2 is a work from Rumiko Takahashi. All licences
belong to the people they belong to. They certainly don't belong
to me.
Any other titles I might use are the work of whoever
wrote them. All licences belong to the people they belong to.
They certainly don't belong to me.
I'm writing this without permission just for fun and not for
profit. This file can be distributed as long as it's complete
and without monetary gain. Yaddayaddayadda. You know the drill.
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You're going to read about the glorious adventures of the
USS Kiyohiko Azuma, NCC-78048, and it's wacky crew. The stories
are in no particular order and can be flashbacks. The Azuma is a
Yeager Class longrange exploration vessel, a frankenstein ship
built out of spare parts from the Intrepid and Peregine Class
scrap heaps at a little federation ship yard nobody has ever
heard of. It's cruising through the galaxy, searching new races
to bring into the Federation. At least it should.
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Crew
Captain - Nyamo
First Officer - Chiyo
Chief Medical Officer - Sakaki
Head Nurse - Kaorin
Helmswoman - Yukari
Weapons Officer - Tomo
Security Chief - Yomi
Science Officer - Kagura
Contact Diplomat - Osaka
Counselor - Himura
Section 31 agent - Maya (yes, Sakaki's cat)
Ship Maskot - Tadakichi
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Chapter 1
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First Contact #1
Osaka stands in front of the hissing alien queen. The
rest of the away team is pressed against the far wall of the room
in fright. Well, all but Tomo, who is poking some alien eggs
with a stick.
"You really should join the federation. I'm sure they
can help you with your strange bug infestation..."
The queen's salvia drops on Osakas head. She wipes it
off and smells it.
"You know, we can exchange goods. You're in serious need
of breath mints."
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Counseling #1
Ensign Masaki enters the office of the Personnel Manager
of the USS Kiyohiko Azuma. He sits down in front of the desk,
looking quite angry.
"Hello, Ensign. What can I do for you?"
"I want to sign a formal protest."
"Ok, this is serious. Why?"
"Counselor Himura. I went to his office to talk about my
problems and he just threw me out."
"Did he have another patient or an appointment?"
"No, nothing. He just looked at me with this creepy
face, said something about me not being a cute girl and threw me
out."
"..."
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Captain's Lament #1
Nyamo sits in her command chair, thinking.
"Go to the diplomatic corps, they said. You can make
captain fast there, they said. Well, at least that was true.
Only one other captain got her ship faster, but still, it's not
what I have expected.
You'll get a brand new ship, they said. Yeah. And here
I am, sitting in my chair in a Yeager Class. A frankenstein ship
built out of spare parts from the Intrepid and Peregine Class
scrap heaps.
As if that's not enough, my crew seems to be coming from
various such heaps as well. Some are competent with only minor
problems, but most are useless idiots. A scrap crew flying
around in a scrap ship. Someone must really hate me.
Still, I will show them! This ship may be just a bunch
of spare parts, but it's still a good ship. I'll show them that
this crew can be a good crew!"
Nyamo is rudely interrupted in her musings by flying out
of her chair.
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Captain's Lament #2
"What the... What happened?"
Yomi answers, shaking her head, "Tomo just flew us
through the outer atmosphere of this gas giant. She said the
ship needs a new paint job. It's now glowing neon green."
"What is Tomo doing there? Where's our helmswoman?"
"Yukari's asleep, she has a massive hangover."
Science Officer Kagura adds, "The toxic fumes have
slightly corroded the outer hull. It'll take an overhaul to get
the burnt in color off."
Nyaomo sits frozen in her chair.
"Well, maybe I won't show them, afterall..."
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Walking #1
I'm walking around the ship, like I do every day. It's
so huge I see new places all the time. The crew is nice. All
the girls always want to smooch with me. They know I'm with
Chiyo, but still most of the young women try to get me to sleep
with them. Sometimes it's bothering me, but they are all so nice
I can't help but fool around with them for a while.
Ah, there is the tall one, Sakaki, coming around a
corner. I run over to greet her the way I always do and she
likes so much. She blushes.
"Hello, Tadakichi-san. Please stop licking my nose..."
"Woof!"
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Graduation Day
Ryoga stands beside Yukari in a row with the other
absolvents of Starfleet Helmsmen Academy. He wispers, "I can't
believe we graduated. I heard one of the teachers say that we
are the worst students who ever attended this school."
"Well, I'm even worse than you, so I can proudly say I'm
worst."
"That doesn't explain it."
"You know, I have certain information regarding the
director of the school. I talked to him and asked him to let me
graduate. Since you're better than me you graduated as well."
"You blackmailed him?!?"
"Shh, not so loud. Let's say I persuaded him."
"..."
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Walking #2
I'm walking around the ship, like I do every day. It's
so huge I see new girls all the time. The crew is nice, but all
the girls run away when they see me. They know I have nobody
special on this ship and still they want nothing to do with me.
Ah, there is Kaorin, my favorite, coming around a corner.
I run over to greet her the way I always do and she likes so
much. She screams.
"Get away from me, you creepy faced hentai!"
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USS Chiyo #1
Slowly Tomo sneaks up to Chiyo who sits in the command
chair from behind. Osaka watches the scene unfold, but seems to
be staring right through, maybe deep in thought about the purpose
of live, the universe and everything. Maybe not.
Suddenly Tomo grabs the little girl's pigtails and bends
them straight backwards shouting, "Hah! These look like warp
nacelles!".
The whole bridge crew stares at the triumphant Tomo and
the frozen Chiyo.
Osaka wonders, "If Chiyo can fly with her pigtails maybe
she is warp capable...".
Yomi clutches her face in both hands mumbling something
about idiots.
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USS Chiyo #2
Tomo didn't stop her antics, she now bends Chiyo's hairdo
around mimiking ships manoevers while faking the sounds of a
space fight. The First Officer swings her small arms like a
windmill, but can't get away from the bigger girl womanhandling
her.
Finally Osaka helps the youngest but brightest member of
the crew out of her predicament and leads her to the turbolift.
"Come on, we're going to the next airlock to test your
warp drive."
"Nooo!"
Chiyo flees into the lift, to her room and under her bed
where she stays for the rest of the day.
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Autor's notes:
Well, that's it for this time, but more's to follow. If you have story
ideas for Azumanga Trek, don't hesitate to bother me with them - and
don't be surprised, when I actually use them.
This is a first draft, so C&C are highly appreciated.
I hope you had as much fun reading as I had writing this little bugger.
Ja
Christian "Schobronics" Schober