Well, something short and sweet this time...

On Tue, 15 Mar 2005 15:03:36 -0500, DB Sommer <sommert@connecttime.net> wrote:

Just a little something to throw out. Might take a while to complete
depending on if I have to serve jury duty or not

Prologue

Manabu and Kobashi exited the bar, feeling pretty damn good about
themselves as they leaned against one another in a drunken stupor. 

(shrugs) Have you ever considered writing original stuff? And not just the Ammadeau-like pseudo-anime, Japanesey orig fiction, but your very own... stuff. I'm just curious, since you've written so many fics that maybe you can finally go full circle and write something that's not just fanfiction... because you're one of the few authors which I could stand to read the non-main-character parts of their fanfiction.

OTOH, this may have come from an anime I've never heard of, but it only goes to show how advanced your writing skills are for me to not tell whether a character is from some anime or is a fanfic character.

They
sang loudly and off key, causing passersby to give them a wide berth
rather than having their ears assailed in such a painful way.

They should have gone to a karaoke bar.

Likewise,
the men's reputation as members of one of the most violent local street
gangs meant no one would tell them to keep it down. The men might meet
the request halfway by ripping the person's ear off so they wouldn't
have to hear the racket.

Well, they certainly are considerate.

"Who can't use more of them?"

Kobashi considered that. "Rich gay guys."

Ah sou. And he just had to answer that, eh? Classic DB wit. :)

"We'll help them with directions." Manabu fingered the knife tucked in
his belt. Hidden as it was underneath his shirt, he had used it to great
effect in times past. Wielding a sharp knife tended to make people see
things your way, especially when it came to economic redistribution.
Kobashi was very much in favor of that, and cutting out the government
as a middleman in the process.

They have interesting political views. Apparently, thugs in Japan are a cultured and educated lot.

The woman spoke in a throaty purr. "I see thou hast impeccable taste
when it comes to beauty. However, there is but one of myself and two of
thee. Perhaps it would behoove thee to discuss amongst thyselves who is
the more worthy of my attentions."

Eyng? What's with the strange speech pattern? Also, is she still speaking in 'Japanese' to the two men, and if it is Japanese, is it formal Japanese for it to be 'translated' in such a way.

Don't mind me. I'm just curious.

With the kiss delivered, she slipped out of his grasp and admired her
handiwork. "Truly thou should be grateful, for after one kiss from Urd,
the Enchantress, thy mortal life would be meaningless from that point
onward. Now thou can enjoy the moment for the rest of eternity."

Urd laughed to herself as she strode from the alley, leaving the statue
of Wataru Kobashi behind.

Cool prologue. You should do more of these in your stories.
 
Sorry for the lack of a response and lack of grammar corrections. It's good. Can't wait for the rest. Keep on writing.

Abdiel


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