DB Sommer wrote:

Fusions That Should Never Be V

Full Metal Azumanga

(A Full Metal Alchemist/Azumanga Daioh fusion)
 

Thought this was going to be Full Metal Panic from the title.  I haven't 
seen FMA yet.

Hmm... an FMP/AZD fusion... apparently-ordinary girl Kasuga Ayumu, aka 
"Osaka",
must be guarded by a gun-happy teenage soldier from Mithral.  And I 
suppose Chiyo
captains the submarine...

Nyamo felt a headache coming on. �Don�t you think that since the boss 
felt compelled to hire us, he might be concerned about the actual 
secrecy of the base?�

It was then a far wall to the lab exploded.
 

Heh.  Of course.

Yukari said, �You�re the shortest ten year old I�ve ever seen. You�d be 
short even for a midget.�
 

You know, that's true.  And she doesn't seem to grow, compared to the 
other girls,
 in almost three years of the series..

Chiyo was quick to come to her partner�s defense. �Sakaki has never 
killed anyone. And its not her fault her soul is bound in such a 
fearsome looking armor. We were just normal alchemy students until our 
teacher went insane and tried to perform a forbidden ritual that was 
intended to transmutation of the entire class.

At this point I was expecting Chiyo and Sakaki to recognize Yukari as 
that teacher
in the next breath.  So you surprised me; good.

�Dog of the military?� Sakaki asked. She was suddenly overcome with the 
idea of becoming a cute little puppy with an olive green beret on her head.
 

LOL!  I can just see Sakaki reacting that way, too.

�Apparently some woman got really drunk the other day and was shouting 
about working at a secret base up here in the hills with a renegade 
alchemist who was studying the Philosopher�s Stone.�
 

Heh.  Yukari strikes again.

Chiyo�s surprise turned to disgust. �You�re not my father. You�re my old 
high school alchemy teacher, Kimura Sensei.�
 

Heh.  This was a surprise.

�I made them homunculi.�

That caught Tomo�s attention. �Homunculi? I�m no homunculi.�

�Yes you are.�

�No I�m not,� Tomo insisted.

�Yes, you are. You all are.�

Tomo placed her hands on her hips and confidently boasted. �The heck we 
are. Out of all of us, only Kaorin�s ever looked at another girl.�
 

Heh.  Nice one!  I can just see Tomo making this mistake, too.

Osaka pondered that. �Artificial humans? Does that mean if I were to 
change sand into sugar, it would be artificial sugar?�

�Um, I don�t know,� Chiyo admitted.
 

Very like Osaka, too.

Kimura pointed to the last girl. �And Kaorin-chan is Lust, since she 
lusts after me.�

�I do not!� Kaorin shouted, darting behind Yomi.
 

Heh.  Kimura wishes!

Yes, as you can clearly see, nothing in common. I like Azumanga. And I 
like Full Metal Alchemist. But they go together as well as oil and 
vinegar, once you transmute the vinegar into helium. Best to let bad 
ideas like this rest in peace.
 

Amusing fic.  They didn't seem to go together too badly at this length, 
but I can see
where it'd be hard to go on for very much longer in this vein.




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