---- Original message ----

Date: Fri, 5 Nov 2004 01:57:07 -0800
From: Brian Payne <sofaspud@sofaspud.org>  
Subject: [FFML] [Fic][BGC] Backlash, ch. 1 (draft)  
To: ffml@anifics.com


Hi everyone.

Wow.  It's been a while for me.  I *think* I posted part of 

this first

chapter a LOOOONGG time back... like, sometime in '99 

or '00.  Here it

is again, after some polishing and refinement.

I'm still refining chapters 2 and 3... feedback, positive 

or negative,

would be greatly appreciated.

--sofaspud
--

---------------

B A C K L A S H

A Bubblegum Crisis Fanfiction
by Brian Payne (sofaspud)

I'm very late with this reply, and have very little in the 
way of C+C, but I'm most certainly intrigued with this and 
look forward to seeing more.


A couple comments:

- With 2 incompatible versions of BGC on the market, you 
might want to consider giving the reader a clue (preferably 
in any pre-story notes or the title) as to which universe 
you're writing in. It took me until Nene's description to 
realize which it was.

- I'm wondering why Nene still has a scar. If Linna's and 
Priss's injuries were so horrible, yet they're up and around 
and working, why hasn't Nene had some cosmetic surgery to 
remove the scar?


Keep up the good work!

Jeanne Hedge
RAAC Moderation Team

jhedge@rcn.com

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