Here is chapter 2 of "Defending", my spinoff fic of DB
Sommer's "Avenging".  I don't own any of the
characters, so please don't sue.  At the moment, the
primary individuals that this plea is going out to
would be Rumiko Takashi, and Stan Lee.

Among others.

To review what happened last chapter--Hikaru got taken
on as the Ancient One's apprentice.

It was of course, a lot more complicated in the actual
chapter, but still, not a lot of action in that one...

But this time...

----

Ishi Takashi, when introduced to attractive women at 
parties, usually gave his profession as "monetary 
distribution agent".

This was a fancy way of saying "thief", which is 
precisely what he was. However, one generally doesn�t 
say that to people at parties, especially when one is 
trying to get into their pants.

Of course, Ishi had other reasons not to state his 
real profession�he wasn�t very good at it, for one. 
For example, just last week, while robbing a bank in 
Kyoto, he�d miscalculated the night watchman�s 
schedule, and had been spotted at the very beginning 
of the job. He�d been forced to run with what little 
money he had already gotten, which turned out to be 
only 5000 yen. Even worse, the bank had turned out to 
be yakuza owned, and so soon he was on the run not 
only from the law, but from a group of very large, 
menacing men, most of whom had chopped off their own 
pinky fingers at some point or another, and were thus 
eager to share the experience.

Ishi had made the very sane decision to leave Kyoto 
for Tokyo, but had blown most of his haul doing this, 
and so now was in dire straits. Lacking the resources 
for a big job, and not wanting to draw to much 
attention to himself, he was now reduced to petty 
stick-ups.

Such as the young couple he was presently holding at 
gunpoint. The pair stared at Ishi in shock, since 
they, like many young people, thought of crime as 
something that happened to other people, usually in 
other cities, or even landmasses.

"Just hand me the money,"Ishi explained, in a slow, 
calm voice. "There�s no need to try anything heroic."

That was when the arrow shot past, inches away from 
his face, and buried itself in the wall behind 
him. "There�s ALWAYS a need to try something heroic!"
shouted a clear, high female voice. Ishi turned.

She stood there, silhouetted in the lamplight. She 
wasn�t very tall, and looked to be quite young. She 
wore a yellow jumpsuit, with a blue cowl with cat�s 
ears, her long black hair flowing behind her. A bow 
was in her hand, arrows held in a quiver tied around 
her waist. 

Ishi gulped. He was definitely not in any condition to

take on a superhero.

The girl glanced quickly at the couple. "Just get 
away! I�ll take care of this crook. There�s no way the

likes of him can stand up to the claws of Hellcat�and 
SON OF SATAN!"

As the couple took her up on her advice, the apparent 
Hellcat looked eagerly to her side. After roughly a 
minute, she hissed loudly. "Son of Satan! Don�t leave 
me hanging here...!"

A loud groan emanated from the shadows. "Do I have to 
do this?"

Hellcat pouted in a rather sulky fashion. "Yes!"

With a long sigh, Son of Satan slouched into view. He 
was a young man, clad in a rather archaic red kimono 
that someone had seen fit to scrawl a rather crude 
pentagram on. He wore no shoes, which was odd�he also 
had dog-ears, which was odder. Silky white hair hung 
down to his waist while a samurai sword hung at his 
side. He regarded Ishi with a look that combined 
resignation with sheer boredom. "I am Son of Satan,"
he announced in a dull monotone. "Tremble before my 
wrath, evildoer."

Hellcat glanced at him reproachingly. "You could at 
least put some feeling into it."

Son of Satan rolled his eyes, and crossed his 
arms. "Look, Kagome, I just think this really stupid, 
is all..."

The girl�s eyes went wide. "HEY! We talked about this!

It�s Hellcat! I have a secret identity to protect!"

"Oh, no!"Son of Satan shouted in mock horror. "Now he 
knows yer one of the million or so girls in Japan 
called Kagome! Whatever shall we do?"

"Inu-Yasha..."snarled Kagome�then brought her free
hand 
up to her face in shock. "I meant, Son of Satan..."

Ishi felt a sudden sense of relief.

"Oh, wow, you�re really stickin� with this �no names 
mentioned� rule of yours,"laughed Inu-Yasha. "Man, 
why�d I ever agree to this...?"He began to walk away.

"Hey! Don�t you walk out on me!"shouted Kagome. "I�ll 
remind you who�s got the upper hand here!"

"Right, right..."muttered Inu-Yasha, walking away. 

"Umm, excuse me..."interjected Ishi.

"Oh you keep out of this!"Kagome stated 
forcibly. "You�re not worried, Inu-Yasha? Not worried 
in the slightest that I�ll say, si�"

At that moment, Ishi fired his pistol in the air. "I�d

just like to say,"he began calmly, as he pointed the 
pistol at them, "that I really seem to have the 
tactical advantage here. After all, I�m a man with a 
gun, while you�re a girl with a bow, and a freak with 
a sword."He smiled at them. "So please hand over all 
your money."

"That�s what you think!"shouted Kagome. With 
surprising speed and grace, she fit an arrow to her 
bow, and released it. The arrow sped quickly over 
Ishi�s shoulder, and buried itself in the wall behind 
him.

Ishi�s smile turned into a grin. "Missed."

It was at precisely that moment that the wall behind 
him exploded, tossing him to the ground, and causing 
his gun to fall out of his hand and skid away.

"Umm, did I do that?"Kagome asked quietly.

Inu-Yasha gave a slight nod. "Yep."

There was an awkward silence for a moment. Finally, 
Kagome coughed slightly. "Oops."

Inu-Yasha glanced at her oddly. "That sort of thing 
never used to bother you."

"I never used to worry about getting sued."

Inu-Yasha gave an understanding nod. "Right. Lawyers. 
You mentioned them once..."He scratched his 
chin. "Don�t they suck blood, or somethin�?"

Kagome blinked, then thought it over. "More or less."

While the pair chatted, Ishi crept forward to grab his

gun.

Unfortunately for him, Inu-Yasha noticed him.

In the amount of time it takes a man to blink then 
cough, Ishi found himself being hoisted into the air, 
by a very angry would-be superhero. "You don't learn, 
do you, creep?"

Ishi gulped. He hadn't noticed it before, but Inu-
Yasha had claws. And fangs. And a rather unpleasant 
glint in his eyes. "PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T KILL 
ME�I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!"

Inu-Yasha laughed darkly. "Oh, yeah, like you're not 
goin' to just turn around and try to get us some other

way if I let you go..."

"Son of Satan!"chirped Kagome disapprovingly. "You 
can't kill him!"

Ishi sniffled. *Listen to the girl, listen to the 
girl, god, oh god, listen to the girl...*

Inu-Yasha gave a snort. "Save us a lot of trouble."

Kagome raised a finger, and started to admonish 
him. "Superheroes can't kill people. Not unless the 
villain has killed somebody, and then they have to 
make it happen by accident."

Inu-Yasha stared at her, puzzled. "How can you do
that?"

"Well, like, you fight on a mountainside, and they 
pull out a super weapon to beat your weapon, only they

misjudge how powerful it is, and the mountainside 
collapses, burying them in rubble," Kagome explained 
helpfully.

Inu-Yasha scratched his head. "That seems like a 
pretty complicated way a handling things..."

A blissful smile appeared on Kagome's face. "It's the 
way of the superhero, who strongly respects life 
enough to bludgeon people into unconsciousness, 
instead of simply killing them."

Inu-Yasha narrowed his eyes. "Right."

Kagome glared at him. "Just take care of the bad guy!"

Inu-Yasha gave a hasty nod. "Sure thing."He raised 
his fist, and drew back his arm in preparation for a
terrific uppercut.

"Hang him up on the fire escape!"shouted Kagome. "The 
one near the bakery!"

Inu-Yasha sighed, then jogged over to fire escape, and

leaped up onto it. He glanced at Ishi. "You trust this

suit?"

Ishi gulped. "It's hand-tailored."

Inu-Yasha nodded. "Good."He hung Ishi up on the side 
of the fire escape, using the jacket as a snag. "Hope 
you trust your tailor."He leaped away.

Kagome gave a triumphant grin as he came down. "Well, 
now we just go to a phone booth, and inform the 
police, and then�this looks like another job well done

by�HELLCAT and SON OF SATAN!"

Inu-Yasha gave a slight cough. "You know�this the
first 
time we did this."

Kagome visibly deflated. "Umm�right."

The pair walked off together. 

"And it wasn't that well done,"added Inu-Yasha.

"Shut up, already!"cried Kagome.

-----

Defending

Chapter 2�"Satan Met a Lady�Lady Met a Warlock"

An "Avenging"Universe Spinoff

By David Dee

-----

Hikaru Gosunkugi stood before the Ancient One on a 
morning so rainy and dark, it seemed like night.

"Gosunkugi, my pupil�you have done well,"began 
the Ancient One.

"I'll pay, Nabiki, jus' don' hit..."muttered Hikaru.

The Ancient One blinked. Hikaru's comment had 
nothing to do with his, and unless he was mistaken, 
Hikaru had not suffered a psychotic break, which 
could only mean one thing.

A snore confirmed his guess. His apprentice was 
asleep. Standing up.

The Ancient One snapped his fingers under Hikaru's 
face. The young man came to with a shout of "struck by

lightning"then blinked confused. "Where the hell am 
I?"he muttered.

"My throne room."replied the Ancient One calmly.

Hikaru gave a dull nod. "Uh-huh. And how did I get
here?"

The Ancient One nodded. "I called you, Gosunkugi."

Hikaru nodded again. "I see."He glanced around, 
slightly tense. "That's right. Sorry. A bit tired is
all."
He gave a nervous laugh. "Must be that last twenty 
hour lesson on alternate consciousness..."A rather 
forced grin came to his face. "So what's up today? 
Walking on hot coals? Moving through walls? Holding 
a 100 ton weight over my head through the sheer power 
of my mind?"

The Ancient One shook his head. "No."He patted Hikaru 
on the shoulder. "We are not studying today."

Hikaru blinked twice then laughed. "Really? Well, 
that's great. I'll just be in my quarters recuper�
I mean, meditating..."

The Ancient One calmly shook his head. "No, 
Gosunkugi. Today is not a day of rest and 
contemplation. Today is a day of endings, 
and partings. Your lessons are over. I 
am sending you forth."

The look on Hikaru�s face was the sort that�s usually 
reserved for reacting to people who claim they pick 
up radio broadcasts from Mars on their fillings. 
"But... it�s been a week."

"Yes"said the Ancient One, in horrifically calm 
tones. "And you have learned all you need to."

Hikaru stared at him numbly. "In a week?"

"Yes".

"And now comes the �fighting horrific hellbeasts 
intent upon destroying the world� part?"

"Yes."

Hikaru gulped. "Umm�are you sure there isn�t another 
lesson I could work on? Like that whole bit where you 
throw knives at me, and I try to stop them in midair? 
I really don�t think I�ve got that down just right..."

The Ancient One gave a troubled sigh, that naturally 
managed to embody mystic wisdom. "Honestly, 
Gosunkugi, there are none so blind as those who will 
not see..."

Hikaru coughed. "Except of course, the�
you know�actually blind..."

The Ancient One blinked. "Well, I suppose in a 
way, but�"

Hikaru shrugged. "I mean, I don�t think you can 
get more blind than having the actual disability..."

"I was speaking metaphorically�"

Hikaru glanced at him, worried. "I thought that, 
at first, but then I figured the Ancient One would 
be much too wise, and sensitive to make comments a
bout a genuine handicap, for the purposes of saying 
an aphorism that sounds like it came out of greeting 
card, or a fortune cookie."

The Ancient One rubbed his forehead. "Gosunkugi, 
forget my earlier comment."

Hikaru nodded. "It�s out of my head, as if it was 
never spoken..."

"My point was,"the Ancient One continued, "you are 
far more qualified then you imagine. You possess
already 
the powers you need in your quest. I can help you no 
further. Any progression of your abilities you will
have 
to do on your own."

Hikaru shut his eyes. "As the demons are trying to 
rend me limb from limb..."

The Ancient One nodded. "If needs be, yes."

"Would you give me a moment?"asked Hikaru, his 
expression drawn. "I need to�express my joy..."

The Ancient One gave him a silent nod. Hikaru 
left the room.

Five seconds later, the Ancient One heard 
a long, inarticulate scream of terror. 

Ten minutes after that, Hikaru reentered the room, 
breathing heavily. "Okay, got THAT out of my system."

"Are you ready now to disembark?"the Ancient 
One asked mildly.

Hikaru sighed. "Well, I might as well get things 
done with..."

"Then you will need your mystic talismans, to aid 
you in your quest..."

"Because of course, any dignity that this endeavor
 might possess must be beaten out of it, as forcibly 
as possible,"muttered Hikaru.

"What was that?"asked the Ancient One, as he 
walked to the back of the chamber.

"Just contemplating my place in the universe!"
 replied Hikaru loudly.

The Ancient One nodded. "Ahh. Good."He pulled 
out a certain length of cloth that Hikaru recognized 
immediately. "First of course, your Cloak of 
Levitation,"the Ancient One said calmly.

Hikaru took the cloak with an expression that
suggested 
boundless enthusiasm. "Why my beloved Cloak! How 
good to see it again! I had wondered so where it had 
gone to!"

"I found it in a canvas sack that had been buried six 
feet beneath the ground, under a rock,"replied the 
Ancient One.

There was an awkward cough. "Well, that explains 
things,"said Hikaru, his expression changing to one 
of utmost loathing as soon as the Ancient One�s back 
was turned. "I will destroy you, one day,"he muttered 
to the Cloak. "Mark my words."

"Secondly,"chirped the Ancient One, "the Eye 
of Agomatto! A talisman that will allow you to see 
into the souls of men�and further!"He produced 
a large golden medallion that would have gone 
well with the outfit of any 70s� lounge lizard.
 "Also,"he added, "it�s very useful for fastening 
the Cloak of Levitation."He tossed it to Hikaru.

Hikaru caught it gingerly, and then gave it a rather 
distasteful stare. "Might as well complete the 
ensemble,"he said in a tone that was starting 
to sound rather disheartened.

The Ancient One next pulled out a very large 
crystal ball. "And this is the Orb of Agomotto! 
Using it, you will discover the location of mystic 
threats to this world. In time, you will learn to 
use it to spy on any time, place, or dimension 
you desire."He tossed it at Hikaru, who missed 
it, and fell to the ground with a gasp as it 
struck him straight on in the chest.

The Ancient One was continuing, heedless. "And 
finally, the Book of Vishanti, which I entrust to 
your use and safe-keeping. The spells in here are 
your hope for salvation, but realize if it should fall

into the hands�"

Hikaru was slowly straightening himself. "Would 
you wait just a moment? I�m still recovering from 
the Orb..."

"Oh,"said the Ancient One quietly. "Certainly."
He waited for Hikaru to finally stand up, and 
then handed him the Book. "Hikaru, listen to 
me. You must trust in your magic. It will lead 
you on the path of your destiny. It will gather 
allies around you, and show you how to best 
develop your powers. Never forget that."

Hikaru gave a dull nod. "Right."He lugged his 
various accoutrements awkwardly, as he exited 
the room to get his luggage. "Well, it�s already 
doing a bang-up job..."

-----

The Ancient One watched from afar, using 
his mind as a telescope, as Hikaru struggled 
with his luggage getting into his ship. Despite 
himself, the Ancient One smiled slightly.

He wondered if he should tell Hikaru exactly 
how powerful he was. How he had managed 
to bend the Book of Vishanti to his will on his 
first try�a nearly impossible feat. That in a 
week he had gained powers that took others 
years to aspire to. 

*But he would probably not believe me,* 
thought the Ancient One. *And besides, 
perhaps the world needs a Sorcerer 
Supreme that can doubt himself.* A worn 
look came over his weathered face. *After 
all, we�ve had too many who couldn�t and 
look where that led us.*

-----

In a place that really could say it wasn�t 
a place but a state of mind, IT stirred. 
There was something IT wanted. 
Something IT needed. Something�glowing. 
IT whispered to those minds most closely 
attuned to IT, and then waited. IT would 
be free in a little while. But IT had been free 
before and that hadn�t lasted. This time, 
though�this time everything would go 
according to plan.

IT was certain...

-----

Hikaru stood out on the deck of the ship that 
was taking him to Tokyo. He took a deep 
breath, enjoying the salty air. This was, he 
thought, the first time he�d ever been on a 
ship, and not been violently ill. He liked to 
think it was a symbol of some kind, but most 
likely all the vertigo from his flying lessons 
had probably given him sea legs.

Still�he was starting an adventure. An 
insane, horrific adventure that probably 
prove fatal in very unpleasant ways�but 
still a long way from the state of utter 
despair he�d been in two months ago. 
Now he was going to amazing, 
improbable things. 

Despite himself, a grin broke out on 
Hikaru�s face.

A few feet away, a child burst into 
tears. Her mother comforted her. 
"Don�t worry dear. The scary 
monster man won�t hurt you..."

-----

Matsumoto Hiroya was a perfectly 
normal Japanese salaryman, who was 
polite and courteous to a fault. He was 
pleasant to his co-workers, kind to his 
family, and a dependable, if unspectacular 
worker. He was all in all the last man 
anybody expected anything unusual 
to happen to.

That morning, as Matsumoto was 
waiting for the subway, a rather 
shabby looking old man approached 
him. "Pardon me, sir. I was wondering 
if you could tell me what this says. I 
seemed to have misplaced my reading 
glasses."

"Certainly,"said Matsumoto graciously, 
always ready to help his fellow man. The 
old man handed him a rather thin bit of 
yellow parchment with a very unpleasant 
texture to it. Matsumoto cleared his throat 
and began. "I invoke thee, oh three-mouthed 
render of souls. Ku�ku�ku..."

"I believe the word is �Kuthargn�,"offered 
the old man. "It means �to tear asunder 
with great force� in the Elder tongue."

"Ah,"nodded Matsumoto. "Thank you."
With that he continued. "Kuthargn! The 
bindings that stay you break, oh great 
one! Be free to rend and slay once more. 
By my will, let it be so!"Matsumoto 
smiled and handed the old man his paper. 
"There you go."

The old man took it thankfully. "Much 
obliged, young man."He turned away. 
"Now if you will excuse me. I go to await
 joyous slaughter at the claws of my master."

Matsumoto smiled and waved goodbye. 
"Have a nice day, then."Yes, Matsumoto 
Hiroya was a pleasant, kindly man. But a 
bit on the na�ve side.

Of course, that became completely 
irrelevant moments later, when he 
ceased to be a man, and instead 
became a bloody spray.

-----

Hikaru returned to Japan one rainy 
day on board the good ship, *Cote 
d�Ivorie*. He disembarked quickly 
at the docks, and after an incident 
involving his luggage, he made his 
way to Nerima first by taxi and 
then (after the taxi broke down in 
the middle of traffic) by foot.

He was just entering Nerima proper 
when he heard a familiar voice. "Heh. 
It�s the freak."

Hikaru turned to see a gang of rather 
familiar street toughs, gathered around 
a rather battered-looking leader. The 
punk flexed his not inconsiderable 
muscles. "Maybe you didn�t learn 
your lesson last time. We don�t like 
your sort here."

Hikaru felt a sudden an urge to roll 
up into a ball and vanish but he 
reined it in. He didn�t have to take 
this. "Well, I happen to live here. So 
just learn to ignore my presence, and 
I�ve no doubt everyone will be happier."

"Heh,"grunted the thug. "Look at him. 
Thinks he�s funny."The manner in which 
he said it made it clear that thinking you 
were funny was a major offense in his 
book. He cracked his knuckles. Hikaru 
winced. "Looks like I�m gonna have to 
deal out some pain."

Hikaru let go of his luggage, and raised 
his hand. Fine. The bastard wanted trouble�
he�d give it to him. With a simple phrase 
Hikaru could have the Fires of Faltine burn 
him into a fine ash. 

To be honest, it was rather unfair. 

Hikaru stared, his senses already shifting 
into the mystic, as magick connections 
formed in his mind. As the incantations 
took shape, he saw into his opponent�s 
mind, saw the bleak house that created him, 
the secret urges that pushed him on, the 
squalor that fed him.

Hikaru sighed. Great. Now, not only did 
he have an overwhelming advantage, he 
actually felt sympathy for his opponent, 
who was really just a said little pawn. He 
lowered his hand. "Look, I don�t want any 
trou�"

The thug punched him in the stomach, 
then pushed him on the ground.

With a curse directed at his nascent 
conscience, Hikaru rose unsteadily. All 
right, forget reasoning with him. Just swat 
the guy like a bug, and then go away. Maybe 
just a forceful push against a wall would do 
the trick...

The tough paused. Somehow, his brain was 
registering Gosunkugi as big and menacing, 
even though that couldn�t possibly be the case. 
Despite his self-assurance that Gosunkugi 
remained as weak and pathetic as ever, he 
still felt nervous about attacking him. The 
confusion in his mind resulted in a notable 
hesitation on his part. 

And that hesitation gave the situation time 
to change.

A pair of confident footsteps approached. 
"Well what have we got here?"Hikaru 
glanced up and groaned. Nabiki was on 
the scene, as annoyingly self-assured as 
always. "Tell me, did I give you a blow 
to the head? Because amnesia is the only 
explanation I have for your actions. 
Gosunkugi is under my protection. 
Remember?"Nabiki glanced at the gang�s 
leader in a manner that managed to be 
completely reasonable, and utterly terrifying.

The leader gulped and then forced on a 
show of bravado. "What�s a matter 
Tendou? �Fraid I�ll mess up your 
boyfriend�s face?"He laughed in a 
manner that seemed slightly strained. 
"Like that was possible."

Nabiki was not a person for heavy 
emotional response. In reaction to 
all that, her eyes merely took on an 
even more dangerous edge, and her 
smile became positively terrifying. 
"Honestly, do you want to tempt fate? 
I mean, even suggesting that I�m 
romantically connected with�well that�
is a good way to find yourself in the 
mortuary, or the hospital, depending 
on my mood."She gave a light, horrible 
chuckle.

That was when his nerve broke. "Oh, 
shit,"whimpered the gang leader softly, 
just before he turned heels and ran. The 
rest of the gang followed suit.

Hikaru glanced at Nabiki. "Thank you, 
Nabiki. Your sociopathic posturing has 
once again saved my skin at the cost of 
only my dignity, and whatever money I 
have in my pockets."

Nabiki�s smile quickly turned into a 
frown. She was an intelligent person, 
but not a particularly imaginative one, 
and thus unexpected things displeased 
her. "That doesn�t sound appropriately 
grateful. However, if I get my money 
I�ll forget that you said it."

Hikaru shrugged. "In that case, I won�t 
pay you."He turned around. "I�m rather 
proud of that remark�it was delivered 
well, in a reasonably assured tone of 
voice, and I think the content was 
cleverly handled. Having it be 
forgotten�it�d be a shame, really..."

Nabiki�s frown jacked up another level 
of unpleasantness. "Tell me, Gosunkugi, 
do you know what will happen to you if 
you don�t pay me?"

"You will beat me up, perhaps?"Hikaru 
said in a level tone of voice.

Nabiki laughed in a sepulchral manner. 
"Tell me Gosunkugi, why should I extend 
effort doing what others will do for me�
at no cost to myself?"

Hikaru glanced at her. Nabiki didn�t like 
the glance he gave her. There wasn�t any 
fear in it. Instead there was a horrible look
 of condescension. "Personal satisfaction, 
perhaps?"He shrugged. "It�s a thought."

Nabiki stepped forward, her fist raised. 
"Listen, you little imbecile, I don�t know
 what you�re getting from provoking me 
like this..."

"I�m getting closure, Nabiki Tendou,"
Hikaru stated in a tone that was surprisingly 
authoritarian. "I�m seeing now you aren�t 
a god, or a monster, but a scared, angry 
little girl who�s trying to bluff through life 
by getting money and power."He leaned 
forward. "They don�t work, Nabiki. All 
they do is make you lonelier, and lonelier."
Hikaru turned around. "Not that I expect 
you to listen. You�re one of those people 
who already know everything, so nobody 
can tell you anything. Rather enviable state 
of existence, really. The rest of us mortals 
wish we had that sort of assurance."

Nabiki felt it then. Anger. Hikaru had never 
meant much of anything to her before�just 
a guy with plenty of money who could be 
parted from it rather easily. But right now, 
she really would have been made extremely 
happy to see his broken form before her. 
Quite possibly in several pieces. "If you think 
I�m going to be insulted..."

"Leave,"stated Hikaru simply. "I�m not 
paying you anything, anymore. I don�t 
want to discuss this anymore today."

Nabiki turned around and seethed. Slowly,
 her anger fell from her like water from a 
sheet of plastic. Gosunkugi was just being 
daft. He probably had gotten sunstroke in 
India, and didn�t know what he was doing. 
That was why he�d insulted her like that. It 
would pass. That was why she had left him 
alone. She�d known that deep inside.

Plus, she really hadn�t wanted to discuss 
it anymore today.

Hikaru waited until Nabiki was a sizable 
distance away, then breathed a sigh of 
relief. Somehow�his bluff had worked. 
Nabiki hadn�t attacked him. His hands 
shook slightly.

You know maybe fighting demons 
wouldn�t be so bad.

"Hikaru?"

Five seconds after hearing that familiar 
voice, Hikaru realized that fighting 
demons was infinitely better then 
some options. "A-Akane."He gave 
a reflexive nod. "Nice to see you."He gave 
another reflexive nod. 

Akane looked him over, oddly. "Are you 
all right, Hikaru?"

Hikaru gave another reflexive nod. "Of 
course. Perfectly fine."

Akane�s eyes showed that she rather 
doubted that. "You just seem�kind of 
twitchy."

Hikaru barely stopped himself from 
nodding again. "It�s nothing really. Just 
being back home, and all that..."

Akane seemed to accept that explanation, 
or sorry excuse for one. "Nabiki seemed 
upset."

"Oh, I wouldn�t worry,"said Hikaru. 
"Your sister has a real genius for 
ignoring things she doesn�t like..."

Akane nodded in unhearing agreement. "So, 
how was India?"

Hikaru took a deep breath. He had to be 
careful in what he told her�no one could 
suspect the truth. "Oh, fine,"he began. "I 
faced off against a powerful demonic wizard, 
and became apprenticed to a sorcerer."Hikaru 
buried his face in his palm. Oh, crap. That was 
a mistake. He needed to move the conversation 
along quickly. He recalled Akane mentioning a 
trip to him once...

"So how was Norway?"

"Nice,"replied a smiling Akane. "I defeated a 
bunch of invading stone aliens, and assumed 
the power of the Goddess of Thunder."

"Ahh,"said Hikaru, nodding. "That sounds lovely."
He gave a nervous grin. *Well,* he thought, *she 
apparently thinks I�ve gone mad and is humoring me.*

Akane smiled and nodded back at him. *Poor 
Hikaru,* she thought. *He finally snapped. I really 
shouldn�t make fun of him though�after all nobody 
can suspect the truth.*

-----

"��So next time you hear the circus is town,�"Kagome 
recited enthusiastically, "�remember it may be the
Circus 
of Crime!�"She glanced up at her partner. "This one�s 
going into the scrapbook!"

Inu-Yasha glanced at her from across the room. He�d 
been pacing a great deal lately, like an animal in a
cage 
that was too small. "Kagome, it barely mentions us."

Kagome sighed, as she took out a pair of scissors. 
"Inu-Yasha we are a major section of that article."

Inu-Yasha moved next to her with startling speed, 
and picked up the article. "'The Circus of Crime 
was thwarted by a pair of as yet unidentified 
superheroes.' ", he read in a hurried tone. He 
glanced at her scornfully. "Oh, yeah, a major 
section, all right..."

Kagome grabbed the paper. "It�s going into the 
scrapbook,"she stated definitely. "Now let go�
I don�t want to tear it."

Inu-Yasha relented. Turning away, he stated 
quietly, "I just don�t see what the big deal is..."

Kagome chuckled. "We�re learning to work 
together as a team."

Inu-Yasha�s expression hinted at disbelief, in 
the same manner that explosions hint of bombs. 
"Kagome, we already were working together as 
a team."

"Ah!"she said enthusiastically. "But not a 
super team!"

Inu-Yasha sighed. That sort of thinking was, 
when you got down to it, undefeatable. "Kagome�
I�I wouldn�t get so worked up about this..."

Kagome turned and gave him... *the look*. 
*The look* managed to be innocent and 
infuriated and threatening and endearing 
all at once, and when Inu-Yasha was on 
the receiving end, he never had an idea on 
how to deal with it. "Getting worked up? 
I�m not getting worked up!"Kagome bit 
her lip. "We�re superheroes! We beat 
supervillains. It�s important."She finished 
cutting out the article and placed it next to 
"Witnesses See Dog-boy and Cat-girl"and 
"Are Animal People Foiling Crime in Tokyo?".

Inu-Yasha leaned back. "Look�I don't know if 
a group of midgets, tumblers, an' clowns who 
steal things count as supervillains..."

Kagome stared at him angrily. "Yes they do! 
They have cool nicknames!"

Inu-Yasha groaned. "Kagome�I�I just 
don't wanna be a superhero. It seems like a 
waste of time."

Kagome stared at him, as if she'd been 
struck. "What's�what's wrong with being 
a superhero?"

The look on Kagome's face made Inu-
Yasha feel guilty�which of course made 
him resent her more. "Well, for starters 
there's that name you gave me."

Kagome gasped. ""Oh! And what's wrong 
with be called 'Son of Satan'?"

Inu-Yasha scratched his chin. "Well, let's 
see�maybe�I don't know�'cause my 
dad's name ain't SATAN!"

Kagome turned around, and gave a 
dismissive shrug. "It's just supposed to 
be catchy. It doesn't matter if it's accurate."

Inu-Yasha slouched, his expression 
worried. "But�Kagome�I�"He 
straightened and looked at her. "You've
 been weird lately."

Kagome glanced at him, scandalized. "WEIRD!"
 she said, waving her scissors around. "I defy 
you to show that I�m weird!"

Inu-Yasha backed away as the scissors came 
exceedingly close to his face. "Where do I start? 
The costumes�the names�the way you make 
speeches now..."

Kagome placed her hands on her hips, just 
narrowly avoiding stabbing herself in the thigh. 
"I DO NOT MAKE SPEECHES!"She glanced 
away. "I say enheartening words in the fight against 
evil."

"It�s the same thing!"

"Completely different,"Kagome stated definitively.

Inu-Yasha glanced at the floor. "I�m just�starting 
to wonder�what�s the point?"

"The POINT?"Kagome was now livid. "The 
point is saving lives! The point is making a 
difference! The point is being a beacon of hope 
in a world beset by darkness!"

Inu-Yasha grabbed her shoulders forcefully. "We 
can do all that as INU-YASHA and KAGOME!!"
He shut his eyes, his arms slumping down to his 
side. "I just want to be Inu-Yasha and Kagome. 
Like we used to be..."

Kagome turned away, and sniffled. She looked, 
rather embarrassed. After a moment, she spoke. 
"I�I�m sorry, Inu-Yasha. I guess, I just�forgot 
about how you feel�in all the�excitement..."She 
sat back down and rested her head on the desk. "It�s 
just..."

She sighed.

"When I was a little girl, my father used to read me 
stories about�well, the superheroes. I�I just loved 
that there were people like that �brave people who 
did what had to be done to keep everyone safe. And 
when my father..."She shut her eyes. "When he died, 
I started reading them myself, as a way of�keeping him

here, and that made me want to be one. But I got
older,
 and realized I couldn�t be, so I just�chose to forget

about it. And then�then I met you, and superheroes 
started showing up everywhere, and I realized I had 
the chance to�do it."She smiled ruefully. "To be a 
superhero."She glanced at Inu-Yasha. "Silly, huh?"

Inu-Yasha was quiet for a moment, looking guiltily
 at the floor. "I�m...sorry, Kagome."

Kagome�s eyes widened in surprise, as she 
watched Inu-Yasha glance away awkwardly. "Sorry? 
What for?"

He shut his eyes. "For bein� a big jerk."He 
took a deep breath. "We can keep up the 
superhero deal. I don�t mind."

Kagome leaped forward and gave him a 
hug. "Oh, Inu-Yasha!"

Inu-Yasha gulped. "Umm, Kagome..."

Kagome seemed to suddenly realize what 
she was doing, and let go, then backed away, 
awkwardly. "Umm�right. Thank you..."The 
pair made pointed glances away from each other, 
and fidgeted for a while, before a distraction 
entered the room in the form of a meowing cat.

Kagome immediately turned. "Kilala!"She scooped 
up the small white cat with black patches (whose tail,

the observant onlooker would have noticed, seemed 
to be on fire) and began to coddle it. "You're such a 
good kitty! Yes, you are! Yes, you are!"

Inu-Yasha rolled his eyes. "I don't know why you 
make such a big deal about that cat."

Kagome glanced at him offended while stroking 
Kilala's head. "Kilala wound up with us here after 
the explosion. It has to mean something..."

"It means that she hid in your pocket,"muttered 
Inu-Yasha peevishly.

Kagome looked up. "What was that?"

"Nothing."

-----

Hikaru, smiling slightly, held up the shirt he'd just 
spent the last hour sewing a yin-yang symbol onto. 
He'd done a rather good job, actually�the yin-yang 
was positioned perfectly in the shirt's center,
divided 
into two, each half fitting together perfectly to form
the 
whole. He'd even positioned it, so the buttons were 
incorporated into the design as the balancing
energies. 
And to finish it off, he'd marked it off from the rest
from 
the rest of the shirt by a thin line of silver thread.

*Well,* thought Hikaru, *that's four hours killed. Now

I've got to worry about the slow destruction of the
world's 
protective barriers before an insidious onslaught of 
demonic invaders...*  He sighed. *I think I'll worry 
about my costume for a little while longer...*

He put on the shirt, then snapped on the final touch�
a harmless bit of vanity that he was already slightly 
ashamed of�a pair of circling serpent cufflinks 
he'd found in India and bought on impulse. He 
glanced into the mirror.

Hikaru chuckled slightly. He actually looked�
well, somewhat impressive. Now all he needed 
to add was...

He winced. The Cloak.

The idea had occurred to him on the trip back. 
Reading the newspapers, he�d noted that in the 
month or so he�d been gone, a great change had 
come over Japan�it was beset by superheroes. 
It seemed nearly half the articles dealt with the 
doings of brave men and women who wore 
spandex without the least sense of shame or even 
regret. It had seemed obvious to him that posing 
as a superhero would be the best way to about 
his business in Tokyo.

Otherwise he was afraid he might be mistaken 
for a pimp wearing that damn Cloak of Levitation, 
something his sallow complexion and limited 
physique would only act to confirm. Hikaru was 
not going to be booked on an ethics charge.

Not again.

No he was sure he�d seem fairly sedate by superhero 
standards. Well, reasonably sure. He thought anyway. 
He slipped on the Cloak.

Hikaru sighed. Well, he had accomplished his goal. 
He no longer looked like a pimp.

He looked like a pimp who had recently converted 
to Taoism.

Hikaru turned to his dresser. Fortunately he was 
prepared for this eventuality. He snapped on a 
domino mask, then glanced back at the mirror.

Now he looked like a Taoist pimp who was 
attending a costume ball.

Well, there was a last chance of avoiding 
recognition. He slipped the pantyhose over 
his head. 

Now he looked like a Taoist pimp who was 
going to commit a mugging, on his way to a 
costume ball.

Hikaru took both of his makeshift disguises off. 
It appeared that this was his�best option. He 
sighed. Well, if any of his classmates saw him, 
he�d just pretend not to know them. After all, 
what chance was there of them automatically 
recognizing a ghastly pale young man wearing 
a distinctive outfit?

Hikaru groaned. Life really wasn�t fair, when 
you got down to it... 

He took a deep breath, and turned to the Orb 
of Agomotto. He'd managed to set it up on 
his desk as a paperweight, telling his parents 
he'd gotten it as a memento in India. Now, 
the Ancient One had told him that it would help 
him locate threats to this world...but hadn't 
actually mentioned how to use it.

Hikaru stared at it, for a moment. Maybe�maybe 
if he thumped it a little... but no, it looked rather 
delicate. He placed his hand on top of it.

A brilliant light began to shine from the center 
of the Eye. Strange images flooded Hikaru's 
mind, which then began to crystallize with 
startling clarity.

Hikaru stood there for a moment, silent. Finally, 
he uttered two words, quietly. 

"Oh, crap..."

-----

IT was free now. ITs servants had seen to 
that and they had received the honor of 
death at ITs claws for that service.

The killing had been good.

ITS initial impulse had been to do more, 
but IT was clever enough to realize that 
it was not ready yet. There was something 
IT needed�something that shone. Once it 
had that, it could slay till the ground ran red.

Oh, it would be sweet.

IT felt pleasure at these thoughts. In the 
past, IT would not be capable of such 
planning. IT would be wild and heedless 
and slay until IT was stopped. But things 
were different this time. IT felt�calmer.
 More in control. This time, the conditions 
were just right. And not just for IT.

No, for all ITs old friends as well.

-----

"The jewel�s properties were first discovered in 
1766, by Carl von Herzog,"began Henry Exposition, 
a lieutenant in SHIELD. "Prior to that, it had been in

the possession of a noted Chinese family who 
credited it with magical powers."

Sergeant Michael Cross glanced at his companion. 
"So actually, the properties were discovered earlier 
by the family�or possibly someone else before them."

Exposition gave a snobbish sniff, as he turned the 
van in traffic. "I was using "discovered"in the
classical sense��noticed by someone of European 
descent�."

Cross scowled. "Right."He hated Henry. The 
Expositions were a big family in SHIELD�one 
encountered them everywhere�and everywhere 
they were the same didactic, pontificating 
blabbermouths who were always willing to talk 
your ears off. Still, every now and then, there 
was a bit of vital information hid away among 
all the hot air.

"All right�accepting that definition, what did 
Von Herzog discover?"

"That the jewel seemed to emit some sort of 
strange energy that responded to human 
emotions."

"That was all?"

"Well, he was going to do further research, but 
he was struck by lightening. At least they think 
he was�there was a storm the night he died, 
and the smoldering stumps of his legs were 
found..."

"Right,"muttered Cross.

"Anyway, the shard passed to his cousin, 
Wilhelm Von Gunzt, who confirmed its 
properties before drowning in a bowl of 
soup."

"A bowl of soup?"

"Wilhelm suffered from narcolepsy. He 
sort of nodded off during a feast. Unfortunately, 
Mozart was playing that night, and he was at the 
height of his popularity. He'd been lying face 
first in gazpacho soup for about an hour before 
anyone noticed."

Michael sighed. "And then?"

Exposition shrugged. "Then the shard passed to 
Wilhelm's brother, Randolph, who published a 
pamphlet on its properties. Unfortunately, he also 
published a pamphlet on the glories of communal 
gardening, and was arrested and executed as a 
Rosicrucian."

"Just for publishing a gardening tract?"

"It was a politically explosive time. Plus, he'd 
once made the mistake of comparing the Crown 
Prince's wife to a bratwurst."Henry coughed at 
that, then continued. "Randolph's pamphlet interested 
one Edmund Fitzroy, a wealthy English financier, who 
purchased the shard, and an hour later, was hit by a 
cart, which dragged his body twenty three miles, 
before crashing in a ditch."

Michael gave a whistle. "What a way to die..."

"Oh, he didn't die."Exposition thought that over. 
"Though to be fair, he lost all of his higher
faculties, 
and had to be spoon-fed pease porridge for the 
remaining years of his life."He tapped his fingers 
lightly on the steering wheel. "After that, the jewel
 remained in his family's possession well into the 
mid-20th century, when it was bought by SHIELD 
through a dummy company. It was then kept in 
cold storage after the regrettable incident with 
Assistant Director Harker..."

"What was that?"interjected Cross.

"He sort of melted..."

"How do you 'sort of melt'?"

"The experts are still asking that question. It 
may have been something he ate."

Cross winced.

"Anyway the shard stayed in storage until Arturo 
Garibaldi brought it out during his term as Director 
of Research. Garibaldi quickly discovered an 
accurate way of harnessing the crystal's energy 
after slipping in the shower one day, and 
designed the 'U-ray'."

Cross glanced at Exposition. "Is this the same 
Arturo Garibaldi who liked to receive enemas 
from transvestites?"

Exposition frowned. "Now, Michael, it is a 
low act indeed to dwell on the personal foibles 
of one of SHIELD's greatest researchers..."

"Okay,"Cross sighed. "Fine. But didn't he 
blow himself up in a faulty experiment?"

"Honestly! While it's true Garibaldi suffered 
a mishap with his temporal transponder, it 
could hardly be termed 'blowing himself 
up', as it was nonfatal. Garibaldi is well 
on the road to recovery."

"They found his head in Newark! Just his 
head!"

"Ahh,"said Exposition sagely, "but when 
they found it, it was smoking a cigar, and 
winked at them. I've no doubt that Garibaldi 
will manage to pull himself together eventually. 
Why just last year, he was seen in a gentleman's 
club in Los Angeles, and he'd managed to 
work himself up to an almost complete torso, 
missing only a left arm."

Cross felt a burning urge to free himself of 
that image.

"So what about the 'U-ray'?"

Exposition shrugged. "SHIELD checked the 
plans, then subcontracted them out to Akamatsu 
Industries Limited. They put it together with 
virtually no incident�aside from the spontaneous 
combustion of half the staff, of course."

"Half the staff...?"

"Well, when you actually consider it, it's not so 
unusual. There are perhaps several hundred cases 
of spontaneous combustion a year�and it is only 
natural that some would happen to individuals who 
greatly resemble each other�for example, who 
share a place of employment."

Cross was completely silent for a moment. 
Finally he glanced at Exposition. "So that's the 
history of the item we're picking up?"

Henry nodded. "More or less."

"Perfect,"grumbled Cross.

"Oh, don't be silly,"laughed Exposition as 
he turned onto a rather deserted street. "What 
could possibly go wrong?"

-----

Yuka was a perfectly normal young girl, whose 
only real flaw (if you could call it that) was a
definite 
tendency to stay out late. Her parents had always
 told her that this would get her into trouble.

Not even they had imagined that this trouble 
might take the form of being pulled into an 
alleyway by a creature that looked like a 
combination of spider, an octopus, and bit 
of rotting food that'd been in the refrigerator 
far too long, but this was mostly due to a 
lack of imagination on their parts.

Yuka was not especially brave, so she screamed 
a great deal as this happened, and looked 
around frantically. She couldn't die like this! She
just 
couldn't. Something had to happen.

Against all reason something did.

"Blast of the Five Winds!"cried a voice. A 
furious blast of wind tore at the creature. It 
turned. A figure stood at the opposite end of 
the alley. Feeling angry at having its fun 
interrupted, the beast charged towards it. 
"Rain of Iron!"said the figure, a shower of 
iron nails tearing into the creature, pinning it 
to the opposite wall. It squealed horribly, then 
dissolved into a patch of nasty oilish smoke. 
Yuka glanced at her savior.

He was much shorter than she'd thought he'd 
be.

"Umm, hello..."said Hikaru, nervously. It 
was just his luck he'd run into a classmate 
on his first night out.

Yuka stared at him. That pallor�that dark 
clothing�those sunken eyes�she recognized 
him. "I know you!"she cried.

Hikaru winced. Here it comes, he thought.

"Count Dracula!"Yuka cried. She rushed 
towards him, craning her neck at a very 
odd angle. "Have you come to make me one 
of your unholy brides?"

Hikaru looked at her in disbelief. Finally, 
he coughed. "I'm not... Dracula."

Yuka looked distinctly disappointed at 
that. "Oh."Suddenly, the eager look 
reappeared on her face. "Well, you're 
still going to suck my blood so that I 
can spend eternity under your thrall, right?"

Hikaru began to nervously tap his fingers 
together. "I'm not a vampire."He cleared 
his throat, and glanced around. "Actually, 
the whole blood-sucking thing always struck 
me as unhygienic..."

Yuka was looking at him with bored suspicion. 
"Well, if you're not a vampire, why are you 
wearing a cape?"

Hikaru glanced away, looking acutely 
embarrassed. "I'm a superhero."

Yuka's eyes widened. "Really?"She looked 
at him, amazed. "Wow. I've never met a 
superhero before."Her gaze seemed to 
adjust down to speculative. "I've never 
heard of one wearing an outfit like that..."

Hikaru shrugged. "Well�there's no 
dress code, so I decided to go for a 
unique look..."

"Or having such a scrawny, 
underdeveloped musculature."

Hikaru winced. "Umm�right�well, I've been 
meaning to hit the gym, one of these days..."

Yuka continued. "Or being so grotesquely ugly..."

Hikaru glared at her. "Look�I didn't see you 
dealing with that Hrr�grakai demon! When you can 
command the Five Elements to do your bidding, 
then you can critique me, understand?"

"Are you sure you�re not a vampire?"Yuka asked, 
ignoring him. She glanced over again. "Or maybe 
a zombie?"

Hikaru was actually starting to regret saving her. 
"Yes, I�m sure."

Yuka gave a skeptical nod. "And what do you 
call yourself?"

Hikaru blinked. He had forgotten to give himself 
an alias. "Why, I�m�"He began to hem and haw. 
He needed something vaguely authoritarian, but snappy.

The lighter side of fascism, more or less. And of
course, 
it had to be mystical. Shaman? Too vague. Brother 
Voodoo? Much too silly. Morbius, the Living Vampire? 

Hikaru blinked. He had no idea where that last one
came 
from. Yuka was looking at him with growing doubt. 
"Doctor�"Doctor�yes�that was the ticket, friendly, 
but commanding. Now, what next...?

These musings were interrupted by the anomaly in the 
end of the alley.

"Strange,"he muttered softly. "That shouldn�t be
here..."

Yuka glanced around. "What shouldn�t be here, Dr. 
Strange?"

Hikaru paused. Apparently she thought his 
confused strugglings for a name and his 
statement of puzzlement were directly connected. 
He turned the name over in his head. Dr. Strange. 
Pretty good actually. Managed to imply mystery 
without sounding too ridiculous, AND it was easy 
to remember. He coughed slightly. "There�s an 
anomaly over there�a�well, a gateway. To a 
BAD place. A really bad place. A place where
 your friend is actually the standard of beauty. 
Which is why you should get going. Preferably 
now."

Yuka nodded. "All right."As she started 
to move away, she stopped a moment, and 
glanced at Hikaru. "Do you think you could 
at least gnaw on my neck a little...?"

"SCRAM!"shouted Hikaru, waving his fist.

Yuka scurried away. Hikaru turned back to 
the anomaly. His crusade against the powers 
of evil had taught him one thing, at least.

When the lights go out the real freaks come out, 
and sometimes they aren�t the people you�d expect. 
It was going to be a long time before he could 
look at some of the people on his street without 
shuddering.

And along that note, he should remember to avoid 
Yuka like the plague. Not that that would prove 
especially difficult, as she existed in a completely 
different social circle then him. 

The little fetishistic weirdo...

Hikaru was at this point, three feet from the 
anomaly, and that�s when things got�well, 
not unusual, but more unusual, perhaps.

AH. HELLO, MORTAL, a voice spoke in his 
mind. The voice�s tone�not there was actual 
sound to it�was haughty and commanding. 
I SEE YOU DEFEATED MY HERALD. THAT 
WAS GOOD�FOR A MORTAL.

Hikaru sighed. "I suppose...."He glanced 
around. "So who are you, and why do I hear 
your voice in my head, instead of God telling 
me that I�m the Angel of Death, and the bloody 
harvest is about to begin?"

This seemed to puzzle the entity. EH?

Hikaru shut his eyes. "Sarcasm. That�s right. 
I forget you evil demonic overlords generally 
don�t have senses of humor."

OH, said the entity, a general feeling unease 
coming from its thoughts, before being masked 
once again by bravado and boasting. LISTEN 
WELL, MORTAL, FOR I AM HE-WHO-
DWELLS-IN-DARKNESS.

Hikaru chuckled slightly. "You must pay a 
small fortune for monograms."

While he didn�t hear an unintelligible grumble 
he felt it. LISTEN, SORCERER, I TOLD 
YOU TRUE�YOU DID WELL, FOR A 
MORTAL. BUT THE GREATEST MORTAL 
IS FOR ME NO MORE SIGNIFICANT THAN 
THE GREATEST GRAIN OF SAND.

"You know, people have been killed by grains 
of sand..."commented Hikaru.

WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?, came back 
the rather shocked thought.

"Nothing,"replied Hikaru. "Just trying to 
make conversation. I know how much you 
guys like the sound of�no, that doesn�t work�
well, the feel of your own thought patterns, I 
guess."He shrugged. "I�m just giving you material 
to work with. Really, you should be thankful."

LISTEN, FLEA, DO YOU DARE INSULT 
ME? HE-WHO-

"-Dwells-In-Darkness,"muttered Hikaru 
diffidently. "I heard it the first time. And 
yes. I guess I do."

CHURL! I WILL RIP YOU LIMB 
FROM LIMB! I WILL TEAR OUT 
YOUR ENTRAILS, AND USE THEM 
AS CHEWING GUM! I WILL 
SLAUGHTER ALL IN YOUR WORLD, 
UNTIL THE SEA RUNS RED WITH 
BLOOD!

Hikaru smiled. "That sounds very 
impressive. Care to step outside and 
say that?"

WHAT? There was a nervous touch to the 
demon lord�s mental tone. UMM�MAYBE 
LATER. HOW ABOUT FIRST I SEND 
SOME MORE MINIONS OUT TO GET 
YOU...?

Hikaru shrugged. "Bit of a waste of time. 
Do you know how many demonic invasions I 
have to handle tonight? I�m three down, and I 
still have five more to go. Nope, got to get this 
one done quickly. I think I�ll just enter your 
dimension, and engage you into a struggle to 
the death."

NOO! YOU CAN�T! I�I�VE GOT A 
COLD! AND I�M NOT DRESSED! IT 
WOULD BE REALLY REALLY 
EMBARASSING.

Hikaru sighed. "Well, then you leave me no 
choice..."He started to walk forward. "Just 
going to have to destroy your portal."

LOOK, came the nervous thought pattern, I�
I WAS JUST JOKING. I�M NOT REALLY 
GOING TO MAKE THE SEAS RUN RED 
WITH BLOOD. 

Hikaru walked into the anomaly. "Not much 
of a joke."

PLEASE�THIS PORTAL�IT�S MY 
ONLY CHANCE TO MAKE IT IN THE 
NETHERWORLD! WHEN YOU GET 
THIS SORT OF THING�THE OTHER 
DEMONS, THEY EXPECT ALL SORTS 
OF POSING! IT�S ALL BULLSHIT! HONEST! 
HELL, MY NAME ISN�T REALLY 
HE-WHO-DWELLS-IN-DARKNESS�
IT�S NORM!

"That�s very interesting to know,"stated Hikaru, 
as he vanished into the anomaly.

ALL RIGHT, PAL! YOU�RE ASKING 
FOR IT! I�M NO SLOUCH IN THE 
FIGHTING DEPARTMENT! PREPARE TO 
ENTER A UNIVERSE OF PAIN!

About five minutes later, Hikaru exited
 the anomaly, and completed the job 
of closing it. "That was underwhelming."
He rubbed his eyes. "Oh, great. I think 
the lighting in there gave me a headache..."
And so, Hikaru Gosunkugi strode out into 
the night, looking for a 24 hour drugstore 
that sold cheap aspirin.

-----

"Night falls, in a nightish sort of way. 
And when it falls, night's solitary warriors..."

Inu-Yasha gave a frustrated sigh. "How are 
we solitary Kagome? There's two of us."Kagome 
had been giving these �introductory monologues� 
for about a month now, and he was starting worry. 

"Quiet! I'm establishing mood here. Ahem�when it 
falls, night's solitary warriors, Hellcat and Son of 
Satan spring into action! Defeating badness! 
Defending goodness! Supporting pleasantness! 
And also niceness! But not ickiness! That's right 
out! Son of Satan, are you with me?"

Inu-Yasha considered saying no, but really 
couldn't let Kagome down like that. "Sure. 
Hurray for niceness. Wooh."

"Right!"cried Kagome. "To the Hellcat-Cycle!"

The Hellcat-Cycle had been just 'Kagome's bicycle' 
before, but after the superhero deal began, it had
gotten 
a cheap plastic cat decal attached to it, and become�
THE HELLCAT-CYCLE! Manually powered transport�
of SUPERHEROES!

Inu-Yasha groaned. Great. Now he was doing it.

Kagome meanwhile, was busily peddling away.

"Come on, Son of Satan! There�re deeds of 
daring-do to do!"

"I�m comin�, I�m comin�..."muttered Inu-Yasha, 
as he started to run behind her.

-----

Hikaru, after foiling six attempted invasions 
of the Earth by demonic entities of various 
stripes, was really getting tired of his new job.

Maybe it was because the only pay he received 
was a sense of satisfaction of job well done, 
or at least done. Well, that and his continued 
existence. Which might be a plus, he admitted.

Maybe it was because the average demon was 
a grotesque mockery of all life. With absolutely 
no taste, and even less of a sense of humor. 
He�d had to raid several demonic dimensions, 
all of which featured flowing rivers of blood, 
strobe lighting, and "You Don�t Have to Be 
Damned to Work Here�But It Helps!"signs 
on the walls.

Hikaru took a deep sip of his rather 
indifferent, lukewarm latte. A paper 
airplane that had been painstakingly folded 
from a napkin struck him on the back of 
the head.

Or perhaps, he appended, it was all 
the mockery his outfit was attracting 
as he paused to get refreshed at an 
all-night caf�.

Hikaru turned abruptly. "All right, 
you creep, I seem to recall that this is 
a free country, where a man can stop 
for a cup of coffee, and not have to 
worry about persecution based on 
the way he dresses."

The entire clientele of the caf� glanced 
at him, and then glanced pointedly away.

"I�ll have you know I have a perfectly 
good reason for wearing this outfit!"
Hikaru began to wave his fist. "I am a 
SUPERHERO!"

The crowd continued to pointedly 
glance away.

Hikaru sat back down. "Ingrates,"he 
muttered under his breath. Maybe he 
should just let the N�Gai toast a city 
district. That would show them...

The caf�s waitress approached 
him. "Anything else?"

Hikaru glanced at her. "Tell me, if 
I order another latte, would it actually 
be hot?"

The waitress shrugged. "Miracles 
have been known to happen."

Hikaru frowned. "That�s what I 
thought..."He handed her a few bills. 
"Keep the change..."The waitress nodded 
and headed out. Hikaru sighed. He shouldn�t 
have flown off the handle like that. After all, it 
was just a paper airplane. He�d dealt with worse 
his entire life. At least right now, he was having 
a quiet moment, after an eventful stress-filled 
night.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Well, night 
owls, prepare for a stick-up of the most 
figurative kind! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Hikaru�s head slumped down to the 
countertop. Well, at least his luck was 
holding out. All bad. Righting himself, 
he turned to look at this new threat.

Hikaru blinked. Then he blinked again, to 
make sure he wasn�t hallucinating. Then 
he blinked a third time, in the desperate 
hope that he was. However, it appeared 
he wasn�t. The caf� really was about to be 
robbed by a man dressed largely in purple 
spandex�right up to the cowl on his 
rather vulpine face. The man�s gloves 
and boots were both a light red in color, 
and in his left hand, he held what looked 
for all the world like a military attempt at 
designing a squirt gun.

"Tremble, yes tremble fools at my 
awesome might! It will consume you! 
Quail before my power! 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Hikaru�s teeth ground together at 
the apparent supervillain�s high-pitched 
laughter. *Maybe if I just sit here quietly, 
this will blow over,* he thought. *I 
mean, it�s not like I owe these people 
anything. I�ve already saved their sorry 
carcasses tonight, and I�m going to 
do it again. I can sit this one out. 
Might teach them a lesson.* That was 
when he caught a desperate glance 
from the waitress. "Damn social 
conscience..."muttered Hikaru, 
standing up.

"Attention, supervillain!"he stated in 
his best attempt at a loud commanding 
voice. "Before you stands Dr. Strange, 
self appointed nemesis to unpleasantness. 
Now cease your criminal activities and 
inordinate cackling or face my completely 
justifiable wrath."

"Oh, really?"snorted the villain. "And 
tell me, Doctor are you ready to face 
the uncanny power of�PASTE-POT 
PETE?!!"

Hikaru�s face went slack. "What?"

"I said, �are you ready to face the 
uncanny power of Paste-pot Pete�?"
His opponent frowned. "What are 
you, deaf?"

Hikaru buried his face in his hands. 
The universe, he felt, was an unjustifiably 
silly place, sometimes.

Paste-pot Pete (who was known to family and�
well, acquaintances, as Katsuhiku Jinnai) smiled 
to himself. His first act of supervillainy was 
already a roaring success. His superhero 
opponent had been reduced to quivering 
terror at the very mention of his name! 
Soon, very soon, Makoto Mizuhara 
would be defeated! 

All right�so technically, this was his 
*second* act of supervillainy. His first, 
an attempted bank robbery, had derailed 
fairly quickly. He�d handed a note saying 
"Prepare to get sticky"to a teller, and then 
had waited half an hour, at which point a 
pair of muscular security guards had shown 
up, and forcibly hauled him off, explaining as 
they did so that the bank didn�t want perverts 
intent on monkey business hanging around 
the premises.

Fortunately, no one had noted the beginning 
of his career in crime, and Jinnai had been able 
to take away two very important lessons.

Firstly, banks are far too heavily protected to 
be robbed with impunity. It would be wiser to 
go for a place that *wasn�t* expecting it.

Secondly, his impromptu costume of an 
artist�s smock and dark glasses topped off by 
kicky beret just didn�t seem to grab people�s 
attention, at least, not in a way that screamed 
�supervillain�.

Jinnai gave a satisfied nod. Purple spandex 
had definitely been the way to go.

Hikaru, after a couple of deep breaths, 
glanced up. "Okay,"he announced. "My 
burst of existential horror is over. I accept 
the terrifying fact that a man may want to 
dress in spandex and call himself Pasty 
Pete�"

"That�s Paste-Pot Pete!"cried Jinnai, 
menacingly waving his gun around. 

"Right,"said Hikaru in the calm cool 
tone that is generally used by men of 
extraordinary patience on children of 
remarkable intransigence. "As I was 
saying, it�s the sort of thinking that 
gives the world quite a few rock stars."
Hikaru�s toe was starting to tap 
impatiently on the floor. "But what 
puzzles me is what superpowers a man 
called Post-Haste Pete�"

"I said, that�s Paste-Pot Pete!"screamed 
Jinnai.

"Dear me,"said Hikaru. "Did I misspeak 
myself? Must be the lateness of the hour. 
To continue, what powers might he possess?"

"A worthy question,"cackled Jinnai. 
"My power comes from my brilliant 
invention, the paste pistol!"Jinnai 
glanced at his creation lovingly. Well, 
truthfully it was that bastard Mizuhara�s 
invention, which Jinnai had... liberated 
from his lab, but still, his nemesis had 
been blind to its more advanced 
applications. In fact, he had built it for 
nothing more than to fix a few loose tiles 
on the school roof, showing as usual the 
inferiority of his so-called genius in 
comparison to the incomparable mind of 
Katsuhiko Jinnai. "With this I shall become 
one of the leading lights of the criminal 
world! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Hikaru seemed to be staring at him 
rather strangely. "I�m happy for you. 
So�your�paste pistol..."Hikaru bit 
his lip, in apparent frustration. "It shoots�
paste, I�m guessing?"

Jinnai snickered. "That�s right! A very 
sticky paste! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Hikaru nodded. "That�s what I thought."
He nodded some more. "Would you just�
give me a second...?"Hikaru turned around, 
glanced at the caf�s patrons, and screamed. 
"All right people!"he shouted. "Would a 
reasonably fit man care to take a chair to the 
back of Pastel Pete�s head?"

"That�s Paste-Pot Pete!"cried Jinnai.

"Shut up!"said Hikaru forcibly. He 
glanced back at the crowd. "Come on! 
He�s a scrawny young man who is trying
 to hold you up with a glue gun! Am I the 
only one here who realizes the inherent 
absurdity of this fact?"

The other patrons made it a point of order 
to avoid looking at Hikaru.

"You all suck,"muttered Hikaru. "I want 
you to realize that..."

"What to do you mean �inherent absurdity�? 
Are you insulting me, you cape-wearing lunatic?"

"Yes, I�m insulting you because you are 
probably one of the most intrinsically 
incompetent supervillains in existence,"
seethed Hikaru. "Have you ever considered 
the obvious limitations of your �power�? 
Suppose, for example, that you are robbing 
a bank. The manager knows the combination 
to the safe. He won�t open it. What do you do?"

"Simple,"snickered Jinnai. "I�d tell him to do it, 
or face a blast from my paste pistol."

"And what would that do?"

"It would�make him very sticky..."stated 
Jinnai, a touch of uncertainty trailing into his 
voice. 

"And why would that be threatening?"Hikaru 
asked quietly.

"He�really doesn�t like being sticky..."Jinnai�s 
expression was now openly confused.

"It�s not threatening at all!"Hikaru shouted. 
"If you�d have thought about it, you�d have 
known it! You�d have seen your only superpower 
is using a gun that�s less effective than a normal 
gun!"

"It�it makes people sticky!"Jinnai muttered 
defensively.

"A normal gun makes people dead,"replied Hikaru. 
"Being dead is much worse than being sticky."

"Oh�oh, shut up!"screamed Jinnai raising his 
paste pistol. "No one insults my reign of 
supervilliany..."He pulled the trigger.

A trickle of brownish fluid leaked out of the 
muzzle. "What�? "Jinnai muttered in shock.

"Oh, yes,"said Hikaru in a rather amused tone. 
"While we were chatting, I transformed your 
glue to molasses."

Jinnai stared at him in dull surprise.

"Or maybe treacle."Hikaru began to tap his 
chin, in speculation. "Actually, those might 
be the same thing..."

"You�re working for him, aren�t you?"Jinnai 
stated hatefully. "You�re working for Makoto 
Mizuhara!"

Hikaru glanced at Jinnai, baffled. "Who?"

"Don�t play dumb with me!"screamed Jinnai. 
"This is just another one of that bastard�s 
attempts to bring me down! Well, Paste-Pot Pete 
is not as easy to defeat as Katsuhiku Jinnai!"He 
triumphantly pulled out a greenish cylinder from 
his back pocket. "Behold! A second load of 
ammunition!"

Hikaru sighed. "You really take too much 
relish in even the smallest triumphs, you 
know that?"

Jinnai changed his canisters quickly, then 
leveled the gun at Hikaru. "Let�s see you get 
out of this one!"

Hikaru stared at him forcibly.

Jinnai blinked. "Gettin� sleepy..."he muttered. 
"Go night-night now..."With that he crashed to 
the floor and within minutes was laying there in 
a fetal position, snoring.

"Had to keep at it, didn�t you?"Hikaru shook 
his head. He turned to the caf� patrons. "And thus 
was the scary Potboy Pete, wielder of the mighty 
glue gun, vanquished."He walked out. "Don�t 
expect me to be so helpful next time..."

Shortly after he left the patrons glanced at each 
other. "Well, it seems that shrill, ugly fellow really

was a superhero!"

"Yes. We�re all in his debt it seems."

"What was his name again?"asked one.

"Ummmm... I think it was "Professor 
Weird, or something..."said another, 
uncertainly.

"No, daddy, I�m a good boy..."whimpered 
an unconscious Jinnai from the floor. "It was
 Nanami..."He began to suck his thumb nervously.

-----

The time was coming. IT could feel the 
circumstances aligning. A few more 
adjustments, and it would be done...

There. Finished. Now IT just had to wait. IT 
hated waiting. IT wanted to be killing. IT 
wanted to feel blood pour down ITs 
throats. IT wanted to enjoy the suffering 
of mortals...

But IT could wait for a little while longer. 
This was going to work. Just a little more
time...

-----

"Come on, Inu-Yasha!"cried Kagome.

Inu-Yasha glanced around. "This doesn�t 
look like our usual street."

Kagome stopped the bike, and glanced at 
him. "Umm, what do you mean?"

Inu-Yasha looked at the buildings. "Well�
we sorta aren�t on that street we usually 
patrol around now."

Kagome looked around and blinked. 
"Ummm�you�re right."She shook her 
head and began to pedal again. "Well, let�s 
go on!"

"What?"Inu-Yasha darted alongside 
her. 

Kagome shrugged. "We�re just varying 
our patrol. After all, there�s probably evil 
for us to deal with here too. Come on, 
Son of Satan! Our epic battle against the f
orces of nastiness continues!"

Inu-Yasha grumbled to himself, and 
then hurried after her. And thus a pair of 
rather low-rent superheroes rushed to their 
epic confrontation with Destiny. Or 
perhaps Really, Really Bad Luck.

-----

"Hurry it up,"muttered Cross, glancing around 
at the relatively empty back street the van was 
creeping down.

"I'm keeping it at precisely the speed limit,"
 replied Exposition. "Are you asking me to 
break the law?"

"Yes!"replied Cross. "I have a date!"

"Really?"Exposition stated conversationally. 
"Who with?"

"Cindy in R&D!"Cross growled. He 
pointed to the back of the van. "I'd like 
to get there before that damn thing kills us!"

"Relax,"said Henry calmly. "It's sitting 
in a six-inch casing of negatanium. That 
should mute all such energies to next-to-
nothing. Why do you think Akamatsu 
was able to finish the U-ray without incident?"

Michael considered it more important 
to ask why Akamatsu Industries Ltd. 
had immediately had a Buddhist Monk 
and a Shinto Priest on the premises to 
exorcise them. Or why they had broken 
out into a celebration as the van rolled 
out of sight. "I'd call spontaneous 
combustion an incident,"he muttered.

"No scientific method at all,"Exposition 
stated disdainfully. "Would you rather 
we not build a U-ray?"

"Of course not,"Cross stated uncertainly. 
"The cause of peace demands it. I know that."

The cause of peace had in fact demanded 
that SHIELD build some of the most 
terrifyingly deadly and destructive weapons 
in the world, thus serving it by reducing the 
number of pesky living people who could be 
at times less than peaceable.

Exposition turned down a road. "Hmm,"
he muttered. "Road block up ahead..."

Cross started. "In a warehouse district?"

Exposition shrugged. "Accidents happen 
everywhere."He slowed the van into a 
stop, and leaned out the window. A pair 
of policemen stood there. "Pardon me, 
gentlemen,"Exposition stated calmly. 
"May I ask why you�ve set up a road block 
here?"

"Certainly,"said an apparent policeman. 
"To stop you SHIELD dogs!"At that moment, 
a horde of men in green and yellow bodysuits 
surrounded the van. The two policeman quickly 
removed their uniforms, revealing similar outfits. 
"Well, well. It seems our information has panned 
out beautifully,"said one. "Now, hand over the U-ray 
so it may used for the glorification of HYDRA!"He 
raised his fist, an action imitated by his fellows. 
"Hail HYDRA! If you cut off one head�"

At that moment a large vehicle that looked 
like a corkscrew on wheels burrowed out 
of the ground. A group of men and women 
wearing rather bulky brown environmental 
suits topped by funnel-shaped helmets 
emerged. "Halt inferiors!"said one. "The 
U-ray will be claimed not by SHIELD or 
HYDRA, but by Advanced Idea Mechanics! 
Hail, AIM! The future shall be ours through 
tech�"

"Oh give it a rest, science boy!"muttered 
a HYDRA member. "Everyone knows you 
AIM flunkies are useless in a fight."

Another one snorted. "Right. Just go back to 
your slide rule, flathead, and leave world-
conquering to the professionals."

"And what will you do, squidman?"asked 
an AIM member loudly. "Hold some nation 
hostage? �Cause that�s gotten such great results! 
At least we�ll be able to do something with the 
U-ray!"

"Hey, don�t knock our methods!"cried 
the first HYDRA member. "We�ve just 
been having a run of bad luck..."

"For sixty years? That�s some run!"
shouted the AIM member. "Why do 
you think we left? We got sick of 
nothing getting done."

"I thought you left because the giant 
head told you to,"muttered the second 
HYDRA member.

"Hey, don�t make fun of MODOK!"
cried the AIM member. "He�s not 
just a giant head! He�s got arms�
and legs too!"He stepped forward, 
looking ready to swing.

Another member grabbed him lightly 
by the shoulder. "Let it go, Dwight."

"I�m sorry,"he muttered. "It just really, 
REALLY annoys me when they make 
fun of MODOK like that..."

"I know Dwight. I know."

Dwight appeared to recover his equilibrium. 
"Anyway, your opinion of our illustrious 
and not really just a giant head at all leader 
doesn�t matter! AIM is getting the U-ray!"

"Nuh-uh!"shouted a HYDRA member. 
"It�s going to HYDRA."

"Sadly,"said a quiet voice, "you are all 
wrong."The HYDRA and AIM agents 
turned. A group of ninjas emerged from 
the shadows. "The U-ray has been claimed 
by the Hand, whose reach is as�"

"Oh, screw you ninja boy,"muttered 
an AIM agent. "You guys can boast all you 
want�you�re still packing knives to a gun 
fight."

"The way of the warrior is a far greater 
weapon than your pitiful technology,"
said one ninja loftily. "Our skills allow 
us to�"

A HYDRA agent shot him in the arm. 
The ninja collapsed in agony. "You were 
saying?"asked the HYDRA agent.

"Oh�oh God! I�m bleeding! I�m 
bleeding!"screamed the ninja. "I�I 
think that one chipped a bone!"

"Face it!"chortled another HYDRA 
agent. "You guys and the funnelheads 
are going to get slaughtered."

"Hey, don�t make fun of our costumes!"
cried an AIM agent. "They may be bulky, 
and they don�t look too flashy, but they 
double our strength."

"So,"muttered a Hand ninja, "you can lift
 two whole pounds now?"

This statement led to more unpleasantness, 
and so all those present were shouting when 
the helicopter landed. 

"Squabbling, eh?"A man wearing a bisecting 
suit stepped out, followed by a bunch of lackeys,
 and a woman clad in flowing robes, and 
holding a bow. "Typical of rank amateurs."

"Oh, hell,"muttered a HYDRA agent. "Zodiac..."
The other criminals grumbled in agreement. Zodiac 
was one of the most universally resented gangs in 
the criminal underworld. On the one hand, they got 
their hands on more technology, and loot then most 
other crime syndicates even dreamed of. On the 
other hand, such things were soon wasted on 
Byzantine plots that didn�t even make much sense.

"Let�s see�Gemini�and Sagittarius,"noted an 
AIM member. "Is this the real you�or is it a set of 
robotic duplicates?"

"Maybe yes,"said Gemini, "maybe no."With that 
he and Sagittarius chuckled.

"Hand over the U-ray,"said Sagittarius in a dark 
whisper, "and when the Zodiac rules over all the�"

A large truck pulled in behind them, toppling 
over the helicopter.

"Son of a�"shouted Gemini, as he backed 
away.

"Looks like things aren�t going your way..."
muttered Dwight the AIM agent.

"And we do have that little�numeric 
advantage thing,"pointed out a HYDRA 
agent.

"With our skills, it won�t help you,"stated 
Sagittarius confidently. "Besides it�s not like 
you losers could ever unite against us."

"Don�t bet on it, lady,"muttered the 
wounded Hand ninja. Everyone present 
turned to look at the truck.

It was a large truck, with a rather tasteless 
picture of a beautiful woman cradling a bowling 
pin. A group of scowling men in purple and 
green bodysuits with a patch showing a bowling 
ball striking a pin on their foreheads emerged 
from it. Finally a man clad in what appeared to 
be mechanized body armor stepped out. "I am 
Hardstrike. My men and I make up the ideological 
organization known as Stick and Balls."

"Yes,"shouted his men in unison. "That is our 
name. It is what we are called."

"We will take the U-ray, and use it to restore 
bowling to its proper place in the world,"
continued Hardstrike.

"Yes,"shouted his men. "That is what we 
will do. It is the action we will be taking."

The general response to Stick and Balls 
arrival was close to the reaction that happens 
when a man in a clown costume arrives at a 
formal dress party.

"Stick and Balls,"muttered an AIM member. 
"Unfortunate name."

"I know,"said a ninja. "I always thought 
we had it bad. The �Hand� and all that..."

"So how are you�going to promote 
bowling...?"asked a HYDRA agent. 
"With the�U-ray."

"Easy,"snorted Hardstrike confidently. 
"First, we will use the U-ray to destroy all 
opposing sports. Then, we will demand that 
bowling be made the national sport�of the 
world!"He raised his arms in triumph. "We 
will triumph by the strength of our magnificent 
sticks, and glorious balls!"

Most of the criminals winced at this�master plan.

With one exception. 

"An intriguing plot,"said Gemini. "Do you plan 
to involve robots in it?"

"No,"said Hardstrike. "That would be silly."

Back at the SHIELD van, Cross was panicking. 
"Damn it�how did so many get here?"

"There must be a leak,"said Exposition calmly. 

"A leak?!"cried Michael. "A leak would be 
one of them knowing about it. This is a freakin� 
gouge!"He glanced outside. "Okay, they�re still 
debating salvage rights. Let�s run for it. We can
 make it to the rendezvous point, and alert 
SHIELD security."

"I think you�re forgetting the first duty of 
every SHIELD agent,"said Exposition, 
patriotism dripping from his voice. "To 
die in the line of duty, so that Nick Fury 
looks more impressive."

Cross stared at him, dumbfounded. "You 
know, Henry, I always knew you were crazy, 
but I never thought you were insane."He got 
out of the van, and started to run. A shot rang 
out. Michael looked up weakly, to see Exposition 
holding a smoking pistol. "Y-you betrayed me..."
he muttered, startled.

"Actually, by running you betrayed both me 
and SHIELD, you pinko rat bastard,"corrected 
Exposition.

This point apparently so mortified Cross, 
that he died.

Henry turned to the criminals. "Terribly sorry 
about that. He just wasn�t cut out for this kind 
of work. Now then, shall we get this over with?"
He raised his pistol. "For SHIELD!"With that, 
Henry Exposition charged forward.

In five seconds, he took sixteen gun shots, 
five shruiken, and a bowling ball to the head.

"Good shot,"commented a ninja to Hardstrike.

"Thank you,"replied Hardstrike. "I pride myself 
on my aim. If I cannot perfect my skills, then I 
am not worthy of my magnificent Stick and Balls."

There was an awkward silence.

"So,"muttered an AIM member, "which of us 
will get the U-ray?"

Someone cleared their throat. "I believe the 
correct answer is �none of you�."

It took everyone a moment to realize that the 
speaker was a pale young man in a rather expansive 
cape that had somehow wound up standing in the middle 
of them. He fidgeted nervously, as all eyes went on
him. 
"Mind you�I�m just guessing. No need to take it
seriously..."

"Who are you...?"said Sagittarius suspiciously.

"I�m Dr. Strange,"stated the young man with 
a nervous chuckle. He raised his hand. "Now, 
please back away from the van so that this 
whole affair ends to the satisfaction of all."

"Or what...?"muttered a HYDRA agent 
menacingly.

A shimmying vortex appeared in Dr. 
Strange�s hand. "Or else, I will unleash 
the POWER OF THE TEMPEST!"A 
great blast of wind sent most of his 
opponents to their feet. "Winds! Buffet 
them! Lightning! Stun them! Rains! Umm...
get them wet..."Elemental powers surged 
around him, tossing around the various 
agents as if they were kindling. In a few 
moments, most of the agents were lying prone 
on the ground, with the exception of those who 
were lying prone in trees, and prone on the 
tops of buildings.

Hikaru glanced around, surprised. 
"That went immensely better than 
expected,"he commented quietly. 

At that moment an arrow buried itself 
in the ground at his feet.

"Halt evildoer!"came a high voice.

Hikaru rolled his eyes and whimpered. 
"Oh, perfect..."He turned.

"I don�t know what you�re doing here,"
announced Kagome in a lofty tone she 
considered awe-inspiring, "I just know 
that I don�t like it."

Hikaru sighed. "Well, it�s good to know 
you put a lot of thought into this..."

Kagome leveled another arrow at him. 
"Hey! No mocking of my epic struggle 
against darkness! I demand you explain 
yourself..."

Hikaru began to massage his forehead. 
He was really starting to wonder what
 this job was going to do to his health 
even if he did manage to avoid being 
eaten by something out of an H.R. Giger 
picture. "Look, you strange Halloween 
costume wearing girl, I really don�t care 
what you think�"

It was at that moment Hikaru heard the 
sound of something hurtling through the 
air at great speed. He took a step to the 
right. And then two more, just to stay 
on the safe side.

Inu-Yasha landed uneasily next to him, 
about three steps off.

Hikaru glanced at him, then at Kagome. 
"Pardon me, is this your pet?"

"Son of Satan!"yelled Kagome. 
"You were supposed to get him with 
a flying tackle!"

"I tried!"shouted back Inu-Yasha. "He 
sorta moved on me!"

"Oh, I'm tired of these constant excuses..."

"Son of Satan?"stated Hikaru flatly, eyes 
watching Kagome with a combination of 
levity and despair.

"That's right!"chirped Kagome. "He's Son 
of Satan, and I'm Hellcat!"

"Of course you are,"said Hikaru with a pitying 
nod.

"Hey, we're an up and coming superheroic duo!"

"I've no doubt."

Kagome pouted. "You should take us seriously."

Hikaru sighed. "Look, I'm guessing you two 
were bitten by radioactive wombats or something 
along those lines..."

"That's not our origin at all!"cried Kagome. 
"You see one day, I went to this old well�"

"I don't care about your origin,"muttered 
Hikaru. "My point is just because you've got 
X-ray vision doesn't mean you should go blithely 
skipping off to make the world safe for fruit pies! 
Leave it to the professionals."*Even when they've 
only had a week of training and don't quite feel up 
to the job,* he added internally. 

"We are professionals,"said Kagome. "Professional 
good guys."

She was, Hikaru thought, exactly the sort of person 
who got themselves and others killed. Often in a 
slow, painful manner. "Look, normally I'd be nicer 
about this, but the truth is I reached my crazy crap 
limit an hour ago, and all I want to do is finish my 
work here, get home, soak in the tub, and come up 
with a compelling reason not to take the toaster in 
with me."He took a deep breath. "So please, just
 let me get done here. And just�be careful."

"HA!"said Kagome triumphantly. "Nice try villain!
 But unfortunately for you, that Shinken shard in 
your pocket gives the truth away!"

Inu-Yasha glanced at her. "Can I grab him now?"

Kagome nodded. "You can grab him now."

Inu-Yasha grabbed Hikaru by the shirt. "All right 
creep, I don't know what your game is..."

"Well�I like Reversi..."Hikaru coughed. 
"Look, about the shard�I'm really just holding
 it. For someone else. Really."He flashed Inu-
Yasha a grin.

Inu-Yasha snorted. "A likely story."

Hikaru shut his eyes. "You seem very sure of 
yourself for a man covered in scorpions."

Inu-Yasha glanced down at his shoulders, then 
blinked. "Sc-scorpions...?"He let out a piercing 
scream and dropped Hikaru, then began to beat 
wildly at his shirt. "Get them off! Get them off!"

Hikaru stood up, dusted off his cloak, and 
glanced at Kagome. "Now, as for you, you�ve 
begun to irritate me, so I suggest you go do a 
mazurka."

Kagome stared at him, puzzled. "What�s a 
mazurka?"

"A sort of jig,"replied Hikaru.

"They�re crawlin� up my back!"screamed 
Inu-Yasha. "Oh my God! They�re crawlin� 
up my back!"

Kagome coughed. "What�s a jig?"

Hikaru began to squint in a manner that 
suggested a great deal of annoyance. "A 
variety of dance known for its energetic 
motions, and the fact that it can be danced 
solo."

"Oh!"said Kagome.

"They�re wrigglin�! They�re wrigglin�! 
Oh-oh-no-did I just feel a STING? 
Please no!"

Kagome raised her bow. "I don�t think 
I�ll do it."

Hikaru�s eyes widened. "Oh, crap..."

Kagome loosed her arrow.

Hikaru shut his eyes, and raised his 
hand in panic.

The arrow dissolved in midair with an 
audible pop.

Hikaru opened his eyes, and glanced up. 
He looked around for a moment, and then 
gave a relieved laugh. "Great. All my internal 
organs remain internal."

Kagome gulped.

"There�s one crawlin� up my neck! 
There�s one crawlin� up my neck!"
squealed Inu-Yasha.

Kagome grabbed him, angrily. "Inu-Yasha! 
I need your help!"

Inu-Yasha screamed. "Don�t get �em angry, 
Kagome! They might sting!"He began to 
twitch. "Oh, NO, PLEASE, NOT NOW!"

Kagome frowned. "There are NO scorpions 
on you!"

"Can�t you see them? Big hairy ones�
with claws�an� stingers, drippin� with 
venom..."

"No scorpions!"shouted Kagome.

Inu-Yasha calmed a moment, then glanced 
himself over, surprised. "Umm, Kagome?"

Kagome glanced at him, concerned. "Yes?"

"Why�d I think I was covered in scorpions? 
Hell, why�d that frighten me anyway?"

"He did some evil mind thing on you,"said 
Kagome, glaring at Hikaru.

Inu-Yasha looked at him and snarled. 
"Nobody plays with my mind."

"Is that an issue of principles, or do they 
just have problems finding it?"asked 
Hikaru.

Inu-Yasha drew his sword, and rushed 
at him. "That�s it! You�re dead, freak!!!"

*I�ve got to stop insulting these people,*
thought Hikaru. *They�re all so...touchy...*

Inu-Yasha slashed at Hikaru with a mighty 
blow that would have cleft him in twain,
had it actually hit. 

Hikaru stared at the bare patch of ground 
the Tetsaiga was presently lodged in, then 
glanced at Inu-Yasha. "That was close."

Inu-Yasha jerked his sword free, and 
took another swing.

"I�m sorry about the scorpions, all right?"
stated Hikaru. "Does that make you happy?"

Inu-Yasha grumbled to himself. It 
wasn�t that his opponent was especially 
fast�in fact he didn�t seem to even dodge 
his blows. He just had a way of being 
somewhere other than where you aimed...

Inu-Yasha took another swing, screamed 
to himself, and then followed with a heavy 
swipe down that should have by all rights 
left Hikaru with a very large gap in his skull. 
"Will you just get hit?"shouted Inu-Yasha in 
frustration.

Hikaru stepped slightly to the side. "Sorry, 
but while I�ve no doubt it�s a fascinating 
experience to be skewered by a gigantic 
blade, I�m going to have to pass on it. My 
deepest regrets."

Inu-Yasha was about to try for another s
wing, when the answer came to him. *Don�t 
aim... Just attack...* He charged forward, 
and managed a wild stab.

Hikaru just barely managed to grab the 
sword as it plunged towards his skull. 
"Look..."he muttered, as Inu-Yasha 
pressed Tetsaiga towards his head, 
"I thought I made myself clear�NOT 
getting skewered by the sword..."Slowly 
a reddish glow spread over the blade as 
Hikaru tried to push it back through an 
act of Will.

He succeeded. Barely.

"I�m not letting you beat me!"
screamed Inu-Yasha.

"We can call it a draw!"cried 
back Hikaru. "I find that solution 
very admirable!"Despite his efforts, 
the sword was creeping forward, 
towards his rather vulnerable skull.

It was at that moment that something 
neither of them was expecting happened.

"SIT!"cried Kagome.

Inu-Yasha fell forwards with enough 
force to unbalance Hikaru, who fell 
backwards with a few feet away from 
the half demon. His falling also tore 
loose Tetsaiga. The blade soared briefly 
in the air, then fell to the ground, where, 
Hikaru could not help but note, it landed 
only inches away from wiping out the 
existence of the Gosunkugi family name 
in all future generations.

"What�d ya do that for?"cried Inu-
Yasha to Kagome as she rushed 
forward.

"I�m so sorry!"said Kagome plaintively.

"Well, that�s more like it..."muttered
Inu-Yasha, as he righted himself.

Kagome ran past him to Hikaru. "We 
thought you were a supervillain! We 
really had no idea..."

"That,"muttered Hikaru, with icy 
dignity, "was obvious."He took a 
deep breath. "But you�re forgiven! 
Go buy yourself ice cream! Some 
place far, far away!"

Inu-Yasha started. "Bu-but..."
He let out a low scream. "What�s 
goin� on?"He pointed at Hikaru. 
"We were fightin� him!"

Kagome gave him a glare that 
immediately made Inu-Yasha wish 
he were somewhere else, and quite 
possibly someone else as well. 
"Inu-Yasha! Don�t you realize who 
he is? He�s a superhero!"

Inu-Yasha blinked. "How�d ya 
figure that?"

Kagome gave a cheerful laugh. 
"Through logic! He�s got a Shinken 
shard�but he isn�t using it! Only a 
good guy would do that, �cause all 
bad guys are out for as much power 
as they can get. And �cause no 
ordinary man could grab Tetsaiga, 
I realized we were with a fellow 
superhero!"

The look on Inu-Yasha�s face 
made it clear he didn�t think much 
of her logic.

The furtive glance on Hikaru�s 
face made it clear he didn�t either, 
but that he also felt no burning need 
to dissuade her.

Kagome missed that glance, even as she 
went to grab his arm. "Like I said, I�m 
so sorry about that mix-up."From her 
tone, a person would guess this was about 
a mistake involving house keys instead of a 
potentially deadly struggle. "We�re thrilled 
to meet you!"She turned to Inu-Yasha, 
and gave him a pointed glance. "Aren�t we?"

"Yeah,"said Inu-Yasha. "Thrilled."

"So..."Kagome paused, clearly puzzled. 
"Hey, I didn�t catch your name..."she 
stated cheery.

"That�s because I didn�t say it,"replied 
Hikaru dourly.

"Oh."Kagome gave him a piteous look.

Hikaru shoved his hands in his pockets, 
and glanced around awkwardly. "Dr. Strange."

"Wow!"Kagome beamed at him. 
"That is a good name!"She glanced 
at Inu-Yasha. "Isn�t it, Son of Satan?"

Inu-Yasha grimaced. "Well, it sure as hell 
beats MINE!"He leaned forward urgently. 
"Can we at least go back to our REAL 
names in private, Kagome? This is gettin�
 ridiculous..."

"Quiet, Son of Satan!"hissed Kagome. 
"And call me Hellcat!"

Hikaru walked ahead quietly. They seemed 
busy, which meant he could just take care 
of the shard here and leave.

"Hey! Whatcha doin�?"said Kagome 
cheerfully.

Hikaru shuddered slightly. "Just taking 
care of this pesky little Shiken shard..."

Kagome gave another enthusiastic nod. 
"Oh, Son of Satan and I can help! We 
have a duty to collect those things..."

"About time you remembered that..."
muttered Inu-Yasha.

Hikaru glanced around. Something was 
wrong, and he had an awful idea what it 
was. "That�s nice,"he said absently.

Kagome gave a cheerful laugh. "I just 
want to say this is an honor."She leaned 
forward so that she dominated Hikaru�s 
field of vision. "We�re eager to learn at 
the metaphorical feet of an experienced 
superhero such as yourself."

"Speak for yourself,"said Inu-Yasha 
peevishly.

"Inu-Yasha!"whispered Kagome 
harshly.

"He covered me in SCORPIONS!"

"Not really,"pointed out Kagome. "He 
just made you think you were. Which 
makes it your fault."

"OH COME ON!!"cried Inu-Yasha.

Hikaru was holding his palm to his 
forehead as if in great pain. "Umm, 
Hellcat�I have my first lesson for 
you."

"Really?"said Kagome.

Hikaru nodded. "When trying to apprehend 
a deadly superweapon powered by evil magic, 
do not fight your fellow heroes so that villains 
can get away with said deadly superweapon."

Kagome mused on this. "Doesn�t seem like 
that will happen too often..."

"Oh, once is enough,"muttered Hikaru, as 
he looked at the back of the SHIELD van, 
where the U-ray was only conspicuous in 
its absence.

-----

"Hurry my men!"shouted Hardstrike. "We 
must not allow our magnificent Stick and Balls 
to be defeated!"

"We are hurrying! Hurrying is what we are 
doing!"cried his men in unison.

Hardstrike smiled. While lesser men had 
been tossed around like leaves by the sorcerer�s 
little spell, his men had been fine, no doubt to 
their superior dedication, and strength.

Also, the fact that they lugged around three or 
four bowling balls apiece may have had something 
to do with it. 

-----

A short distance away, IT waited. IT was 
very happy. Things were just about to go 
exactly the way IT wanted them to.

-----

Hikaru was flying at a comfortable clip, with 
Inu-Yasha and Kagome keeping even keel with 
him on the ground.

"So,"stated Hikaru evenly, "let me see if 
I�ve got this straight. You, Kagome, alias 
Hellcat, are a reincarnated Shinto shrine 
maiden, who can cast spells through magic 
arrows. You, Inu-Yasha, alias Son of Satan, 
are a half-demon from the Warring States 
period with a magic sword, who has become 
stuck in the modern age. Together you fight 
crime."

Kagome glanced up and gave him a chipper 
grin. "That�s right!"

Hikaru gave a low sigh. "My life has 
become a bad high concept buddy movie. 
Wonderful."

Inu-Yasha glanced at Hikaru resentfully. 
"So what do you want us to do?"

Hikaru seemed to ignore the surliness in his 
voice. Seemed to being the operative word. 
"Stop the insane supervillains-slash-bowling 
enthusiasts before they do something stupid 
with their new toy."

At that moment, a blimp floating nearby 
advertising a local baseball match exploded 
in a spectacular purple blast. 

Hikaru�s eyes narrowed into tight, bitter 
slits. "A slight change of plans�stop them 
before they do *anything else* that�s stupid 
with their new toy."

-----

"Ha-ha-ha! A glorious victory for our 
Stick and Balls!"cackled Hardstrike as 
the blimp�s debris fell to the ground. 
"And now, to Tokyodome, which has 
failed for years to acknowledge the 
greatness of our noble sport."

"We will do this!"cried his minions. 
"That is the thing that we will do!"

"There are some things I will not allow,"
said a quiet voice. Hikaru hovered twenty 
feet above the would-be supervillains, 
looking down in a very irritated manner. 
"One is the triumph of bowling fans in acts 
of mass destruction. Soccer fans�maybe, but 
bowling fans�definitely not."He began to 
wring his hands. "I mean can you just see it? 
It�d be ridiculous."He shook his head. "Next 
thing we know, stamp collectors and mimes 
will be rioting on the streets. There'd be 
anarchy�sheer anarchy."

Hardstrike crossed his arms imposingly. 
"Well, well, the good Dr. Strange..."

Hikaru sighed. "So you can remember s
omeone you saw a few minutes ago. I'm 
happy for you. Now, hand me the U-ray, 
and nobody will get hurt."

"An amusing notion,"declared Hardstrike 
loftily. "Destroy him men!"

Half a dozen men raised their bowling balls,
 and then, for some strange reason, smashed
 themselves in the stomach with them.

Hikaru shook his head. "Why don't they 
listen to me...? Why do they have to prove 
how tough they are...?"

Hardstrike posed dramatically. "Silence 
fool! None shall mock our Stick and Balls!"

Hikaru winced. "God that's a painfully bad 
name."

Hardstrike waved his fist. "You continue to 
mock our Stick and Balls!"

"Please stop,"groaned Hikaru.

"Why do you dare suggest that there is 
something wrong with being proud of 
the marvelous sight that is our Stick and�"

"I will not allow that sentence to be completed,"
declared Hikaru. "So listen, you strange twisted 
little man, this matter is now finished. You can 
surrender now, or face the consequences."

"And what would those be?"asked Hardstrike 
with contempt. 

"I'll have my compatriots, who have been 
getting themselves into position while we 
were talking, ambush you, while I take care 
of the leftovers."

Kagome popped up out of the bushes. 
"Hey, Dr. Strange, was that the signal to 
attack?"

Hikaru's hand hit his forehead with an 
audible slap. His left eyebrow twitched. 
"Yes, you twit. That was the signal."

Kagome looked rather affronted. "Well, 
excuse me for asking questions."

"Get her!"shouted Hardstrike. "In the 
name of our glorious Stick and Balls!"

"I am going to be so very, very happy 
when I take you down,"Hikaru stated.

"We will get her."shouted the bowling 
minions. "Getting her is what we will do 
shortly."

"Eek,"squealed Kagome, loosing an arrow.

It streaked out, and buried itself in the ground 
before the Stick and Balls members. They 
stared at it a little while before bursting out 
into laugher. "Ha-ha, little girl! Your aim is 
worthy of mockery! We mock your aim!"
They stepped forward in unison, their 
bowling balls raised.

Kagome shivered slightly.

At that moment, the arrow dissolved 
into goo, turning the ground into a substance 
that greatly resembled quicksand. "Arrgh, we 
are sinking!"cried roughly half the minions. 
"Sinking is what we are doing."

The other half cried. "They are sinking. 
Sinking is what they are doing."

"Throw your balls at them!"shouted 
Hardstrike.

"I did not need to hear that,"muttered 
Hikaru.

Those of Hardstrike's followers who were 
still capable of motion raised their bowling 
balls.

That was when Inu-Yasha leaped down on 
them and with a combination of kicks, 
punches, and elbow slams remedied that 
condition.

"Well, at least one of you understands 
the concept of a 'surprise attack'!"
commented Hikaru acidly.

"I got confused is all,"said Kagome 
dismissively.

"And you might have gotten dead,"
retorted Hikaru. "Please try to remember 
that fact..."

"There is still a chance for it to occur!"
shouted Hardstrike, lofting up his U-ray.

"Oh, crap,"muttered Hikaru, giving 
himself a good, solid kick in the rear 
mentally.

"Now you will see what happens to 
those who oppose the unimaginable 
glory that is my�"began Hardstrike, 
but he never finished that statement, as 
IT came out and devoured him whole, 
swallowing the U-ray along with it.

"You know,"said Hikaru, "I'm actually 
torn here. On the one hand, I'm relieved 
that I no longer have to listen to him. On 
the other, I know we are now in a much 
more dangerous situation..."

Kagome gulped. "Maybe it's a good 
guy..."

"That eats PEOPLE WHOLE?!!"
screamed Hikaru.

"I was just accentuating the positive..."
muttered Kagome.

Inu-Yasha leaped forward, sword drawn. 
"Enough chattin�, it�s time to kick ass!"

IT promptly grabbed him, and threw him 
against the wall.

"Inu-Yasha!"cried Kagome rushing 
to his side.

"Well, that was an inspiring display of 
martial talent..."muttered Hikaru.

"Silence puny mortals!"shouted one 
of the three mouths IT possessed.

"For before you stands an ancient 
spirit of destruction..."stated the 
second mouth.

"Quiver at your lord mortals,"chortled 
the third mouth. "Quiver at the presence 
of�MR. WIGGLESWORTH!"

The first mouth actually beat Hikaru, 
Kagome, and Inu-Yasha to the question, 
"Mr. Wigglesworth?"

The third mouth almost seemed to 
shrug. "Well, it�s not like they can 
even comprehend our true name, so 
I thought, why not Mr. Wigglesworth?"

"Why not something menacing?"asked
 the first mouth. "Something like 
Goreslsh! Or Rendarr!"

"Oh, everyone�s always doing something 
like that! I want to think outside the box�
break the proverbial mold..."

"But now we look ridiculous!"shouted 
the first mouth. "Back me up on this Number 
Two."

"Actually, I rather like it,"said Number Two. 
"I for one am tired of all the stereotypes that 
entities in our profession face!"

"So you�re for calling ourselves �Mr. 
Wigglesworth�?"

Number Two sighed. "Look, seeing as we�re 
going to tear through these people like a knife 
through damp paper, I think we can call ourselves 
whatever we want..."

"But�come on�MR. WIGGLESWORTH!!!"

"Ahem,"coughed Hikaru. "As fascinating as all this 
is, I really want to get home, so if you�ll do me the 
tremendous favor of BURNING IN THE 
EVERLASTING FLAMES OF THE FALTINE!"
Hikaru channeled forth a gout of bright flame that 
burned hotter and purer than any fire on Earth, 
completely engulfing the (mostly) self-designated 
Mr. Wigglesworth.

When the flames cleared, IT stood there, unharmed.

"Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh, crap..."Hikaru stated 
backing away slowly. "Oh veritable mountain 
of crap..."

"A lordly effort mortal, but with the power of 
the Shiken protecting this body, I am quite 
invulnerable!"stated Number Two.

"Indeed,"began Number Three. "Nothing can 
harm the adamant skin of Mr. Wigglesworth!"

"Ohhh! There he goes again!"shouted Number 
One. "Please�I�m begging you�any name but that!"

"Hmm..."murmured Number Three. "How about 
�J-Lo�? I think that sounds delightfully saucy..."

"Great..."muttered Number One. "Now I�m actually 
reconsidering �Mr. Wigglesworth�..."

"I knew it would grow on you..."stated Number Two 
confidently.

Hikaru had finally reached Kagome and Inu-Yasha. 
"All right. Plan A: Blow the monster into fiery
cinders 
was a failure, so I�m going to suggest we start on
Plan B."

"What�s that?"Kagome said eagerly.

"Run like hell."

Inu-Yasha glanced at IT. "Look, if I have to choose 
between �Slim Shady� and �Mr. Wigglesworth�, then
 I�ll go with �Mr. Wigglesworth� but all that I�m
saying..."

Inu-Yasha glanced back at Hikaru. "I�m with you.
Somethin� 
tells me this guy�s really gonna be in a mood to dish
out 
pain when he gets finished..."

"Well, I�m not!"said Kagome.

"Pardon me, what did you say?"said Hikaru quietly, 
his face a blank mask.

"Darn it, we�re superheroes! Our motto is 
�do or die�!"

Hikaru coughed. "Actually my motto is 
�maximize the doing, minimize the dying�."

"But�! "sulked Kagome.

"It�s a good motto,"said Hikaru.

"But�! "sulked Kagome more emphatically.

"Are you saying that it isn�t a good motto?"said 
Hikaru, crossing his arms. "Look, I acknowledge 
it might not be the best, but it�s all I�ve got. The 
only other motto I can think of is �Buy low, sell 
high, and avoid radical speculation�."

"But�! "sulked Kagome, her voice drowning 
in urgency.

"That don�t sound very superheroic..."Inu-Yasha 
stated.

Hikaru shrugged. "My father�s an investment banker, 
so it�s all I could think of on short notice..."

"But�! "sulked Kagome, her voice now in the 
pitch of need.

Inu-Yasha gave an absent nod. "Right."He 
glanced at Kagome. "Psst. What�s an �invested 
men banker�?"

"I DON�T BELIEVE YOU TWO!"shouted 
Kagome, who promptly took aim at Mr. 
Wigglesworth, and fired.

"Okay, now I�m sorry I even brought this 
up..."began Number One, when the arrow 
bounced off what was more or less ITs 
forehead. "Hey, who shot that at me?"

"Hey, you actually hit somethin�"said 
Inu-Yasha.

"I believe it was those mortals!"stated 
Number Three.

"How rude! Let�s go teach them a lesson."

Hikaru glanced at Inu-Yasha. "Okay, here�s 
the corollary to Plan B�you pick up 
Kagome�then we run like hell..."

Inu-Yasha glanced at him. "The�word 
of command?"

"Right,"said Hikaru with a nod. "The 
ancillary to the corollary, then..."

Kagome stared at him. "Hey, what are...?"

At that moment what looked like a crimson 
band-aid affixed itself to her mouth. She 
glanced at it at surprise and anger, and 
then began to try to take it off. She didn�t 
have much luck.

"How...?"asked Inu-Yahsa.

"The Crimson Bands of Cyttorak,"Hikaru 
stated matter-of-factly, as he started to head 
away. "Don�t worry, it�s porous."

-----

"He�s gainin� on us!"said Inu-Yasha 
worriedly. Kagome was resting on his 
shoulders, finally too tired to hit him.

"Technically, I don�t know if that�s a 
he...."replied Hikaru.

"What?"

"Well I highly doubt that Mr. Wigglesworth 
actually has any gender at all,"said Hikaru. 
"I mean, can you just see that eldritch horror 
going home to the missus...? I can�t, and I 
don�t wan�Oh crap."

"What�s wrong?"

"There�s a wall here, that�s what�s wrong!"
said Hikaru, gesturing emphatically.

"So?"asked Inu-Yasha. "You can just fly 
over it."

Hikaru nodded. "Rather easily. With my 
eyes closed, in fact. So, what are you going 
to do, my fine furry friend?"

Inu-Yasha gave a confident snort. "I�ll just 
climb it."

"Holding Kagome? With our gruesome 
acquaintance hot on your tail?"

Inu-Yasha froze. "Umm..."He shut his 
eyes. "Damn."

"Didn�t think about it, did you?"

Inu-Yasha fumed. "Okay, smart guy, do 
you have an idea...?"

Hikaru nodded. "Actually, yes."He walked 
forward. "You will climb the wall, taking Kagome 
with you."He turned around, glancing down the 
alleyway. "Meanwhile, I will stay here and keep the 
damned thing from getting you."A bluish wall 
appeared at the end of the alleyway. "There. This 
should hold him�as long as I maintain it..."

Inu-Yasha stared at him. "Wha�? You�ll be 
killed?"Kagome�s expression was that of a little 
child who�s just discovered that Santa Claus isn�t 
real.

"Nonsense."Hikaru gave a dismissive wave. 
"Anyway, I�m just fulfilling the whole �minimize 
the dying� part of my motto. So please run along. 
I�m getting teary-eyed."

Inu-Yasha stared at him with something that, if 
it wasn�t quite respect, could call respect a relative

without too much fiddling with the family tree. And 
then he and Kagome were gone. Hikaru felt them 
move away, and nodded. "See you on the other side, 
I guess�whatever that turns out to be..."Mr. 
Wigglesworth was tearing through his barrier far
faster 
than he�d hoped�but still, it had been enough. He 
should drop it�

Mr. Wigglesworth burst through the barrier.

Soon.

"Well, tasty man-thing,"Mouth Number One 
began, "soon I will be flaying your skin..."

"Shredding your flesh..."said Mouth Number 
Two.

"�And masticating your bones!"declared Mouth 
Number Three.

"Oh, do you have to say that?"asked Number One. 
"It makes us look like a jerk..."

"Come on! It just means chewing!"

"It�s pretentious, and irritating! Back me up here 
Number Two!"

"Uh-uh,"muttered Number Two. "Leave me out 
of this..."

"Well,"stated Number One, "the basic point 
is�we�ll kill you, eat you, and do all this in a 
painful manner."

"Damn straight,"said Number Three.

Hikaru gulped slightly at this. When he�d gotten 
himself into this position of noble self-sacrifice, 
he�d possessed a quiet belief in the back of his 
mind that somehow, he was going to think of a 
way out of it. That seemed�less likely now.

That�s when it hit him�a plan so ridiculous, he 
knew it would never work. 

"Oh, my goodness! What is that behind you?"
Hikaru pointed. 

*Is it obvious? Yes. Ludicrious? Absolutely. 
But I defy anybody to pull anything better out 
of their ass when the face--or faces--of dire 
calamity are gaping at them from a distance 
of seconds,* Hikaru thought to himself.

Mr. Wigglesworth entire body froze. 
"Something behind us...?"said Number 
Two, biting its lip.

"That could be trouble..."stated Number 
Three.

"Or a trick,"pointed out Number One.

"But can we take that chance?"shouted 
Number Three.

"Oh�I hate it when this happens..."said 
Number Two. "Something cool is probably 
happening behind us..."

"Or something dire,"pointed out Number 
One.

"Oh, let�s turn around and see,"said 
Number Three. "I can�t stand the 
suspense."

"Fine, if you insist,"said Number One.

Mr. Wigglesworth turned around.

After a moment, IT coughed.

"Umm, mortal-thing�there doesn�t seem 
to be anything here..."

There wasn�t a reply.

Mr. Wigglesworth looked over what 
served IT as a shoulder.

Hikaru, it seemed, had vanished.

-----

A reasonable distance away, in a small 
utility shack, Kagome was screaming 
at Inu-Yasha.

"�You left him to die!"

"You weren�t complainin� then!"
retorted Inu-Yasha.

"That�s because I was gagged!"Kagome 
shouted. "I couldn�t speak if I wanted to!"

"Oh,"muttered Inu-Yasha awkwardly. "Right..."

"I mean the first real superhero we meet, 
and now we might never see him again!"

It was at that moment that Hikaru appeared 
before her, looking very wan.

"Dr. Strange!"she shouted cheerfully.

Hikaru threw up on her shoes.

About a minute later, Hikaru was cleaning 
off her shoes with a hasty magick, and 
apologizing. "Teleporting unbalances my 
stomach, and..."

"It�s all right,"Kagome said cheerfully. 
"After all, how many people can say 
they�ve been vomited on by a superhero?"

Hikaru stared at her for a while. "You 
scare me, you know that? You scare 
me in a fundamental way I cannot begin 
to describe..."

Kagome ignored this statement. "So 
what should we do now?"

Hikaru drew a large book out of the 
folds of his cloak. "Give me a moment.
 I�ll come up with something..."

Inu-Yasha glanced at Hikaru 
suspiciously. "How come ya 
didn�t suggest that �telypor 
tayshun� thing when we were 
running from ugly?"

Hikaru looked up from his book. 
"There is an easy answer to that. 
Do you want my foot up your ass?"

Inu-Yasha started. "Hey! I don' take 
kindly to threats!"

Hikaru shrugged. "It wasn't a threat. 
I really don't have teleportation down 
yet."

Inu-Yasha blinked and glanced 
nervously away. 

"Ahh!"said Hikaru. "Found it! 
'Protective wards'."

"Protective wards!"said Kagome 
excitedly, taking a piece of rice paper, 
a brush pen, and a small jar of ink from 
a pouch in her quiver. "Hellcat is on the 
job!"

"Since when do you know how to do 
paper wards?"asked Inu-Yasha.

Hikaru began to chant. "Hoggith�I 
invoke thee! By thy powers, let the 
way be blocked!"

Kagome glanced at Inu-Yasha, 
irritated. "Living in a shrine does 
have its advantages. I had Grandpa 
give me a lesson last week."

"I think I remember that one,"
said Inu-Yasha, glancing away. 
"Ya fell asleep during it..."

"Agomotto�Blind the vision of 
those who seek the way!"continued 
Hikaru.

"I did not fall asleep!"said Kagome 
petulantly. "I just rested my eyes, a 
moment..."

"Kagome, you were droolin�..."
Inu-Yasha stated levelly.

"Osshur�Greatest of the Three!
 May your power destroy those 
who attempt to force their way in!"

"I DON�T DROOL!"

"Oh, I suppose you gotta twin, 
then?"

"By the name and authority of the 
Vishanti let the way be sealed! Let 
it be so!"

Kagome turned away from Inu-Yasha 
and tried to finish up her scroll. "I 
don�t have time for this."

Inu-Yasha looked the scroll over. 
"Yer doin� it wrong!"

Hikaru glanced over the glowing 
barrier of mystic symbols that now 
covered the shed�s walls. "Well, 
that seems to be finished..."

"Oh, what do you know about 
protective wards?"Kagome 
shouted at Inu-Yasha.

"More then you, looks like!"
Inu-Yasha shouted back.

"Ahem, as I was saying..."
stated Hikaru quietly.

"Oh, yeah?!"screamed Kagome.

"Yeah!"screamed Inu-Yasha.

"AS I was saying..."added Hikaru worriedly.

"Yeah?"screamed Kagome.

"Yeah!"screamed Inu-Yasha.

"AS I WAS SAYING!!!"shouted Hikaru 
at the top of his lungs. Inu-Yasha and 
Kagome watched as he took a deep breath. 
"The wards are up."He smiled. "Now I�ve 
no doubt you can get back to your fascinating, 
and deep discussion."

The pair looked around nervously. Finally, I
nu-Yasha ventured a question. "They�ll hold?"

"Till doomsday,"muttered Hikaru.

Kagome�s eyes spread in wonder. 
"Wow..."

Hikaru sighed. "Don�t be so impressed. 
It�s probably about three hours away."
He glanced out the window. "Do you 
know what that thing is? It is an Elder 
God, to which the powers of demons 
are as the might of flies before a man."
Hikaru coughed, slightly, and continued. 
"In the beginning, the world was inhabited 
by beings of great power, and might, but 
they were rowdy, and violated their tenant 
agreement, and thus were given the boot. 
Ever since then, they have drunkenly beat 
against the doors and windows of this plane, 
promising sweets to whoever lets them in, 
and swearing up and down they won�t rampage, 
at least, not too much."Hikaru paused. "But 
they are lying. Still, every now and then, some 
mental case with delusions of grandeur takes 
one of them up on it, and much hilarity ensues."

He noticed Kagome was staring at him, puzzled.

"I�m being sarcastic. I think the only people 
who find it hilarious are the Elder Gods, and 
those morons who like shows where they get 
people to eat live cockroaches, and set their 
pants on fire."

"Oh,"said Kagome, her confused look 
vanishing. A bright, cheery smile took its 
place. "So what are we going to do to stop 
it?"

"I�ll handle it..."said Inu-Yasha.

Hikaru gave him a sidelong glance. "Like 
you did last time...?"

Inu-Yasha glowered. "That was just luck..."

Hikaru nodded. "Well, he didn�t split 
your skull open, so, yes, it was."He 
shut his eyes. "This is an Elder God 
we�re talking about. Even if it isn�t 
the sharpest knife in the drawer, you�re 
still just the other white meat, where it�s 
concerned."

Kagome screwed up her face in 
puzzlement again. "Isn�t that pork?"

Hikaru rubbed his temples gingerly. 
It made sense that the cosmos would 
saddle him with allies whose ability to 
discern sarcasm was decidedly subpar. 

That didn�t make it enjoyable, by any 
stretch of the imagination.

"So what should we do, smart guy?"
asked Inu-Yasha snarkily.

"Right,"said Kagome eagerly, 
ignoring Inu-Yasha�s tone. "What�s 
your plan?"

Hikaru blinked. They apparently were 
genuinely looking towards his opinion 
for guidance. This had never happened 
to him, in his entire life, not even on where 
to eat, much less rampaging monstrosities 
dedicated to the end of all life.

And the worst part was he had no idea 
what to do.

"Dr. Strange?"Kagome asked 
concernedly. "What�s your plan?"

Hikaru bit his lips nervously. "Plan. Right. 
What have I got planned...?"He rubbed his 
chin meditatively. "Well�Kagome, you look 
a lot like a chicken, so..."

"What?!"

Hikaru shut his eyes. "Sorry. I�m just 
smashing random elements together to 
create a course of action."He sighed. 
"It doesn�t always work, especially on 
short notice."

Kagome gave him a grin so utterly 
chipper that it not only failed to cheer 
him up, but it actually made him doubt 
her sanity. "Don�t worry, Dr. Strange. 
A superhero like you is a match for 
any number of Elder Gods."

Hikaru sighed. It was time to come 
clean. Decency, and his own sanity 
wouldn�t let this charade go on any 
longer. "I�m not a superhero."

Kagome and Inu-Yasha both 
glanced at him surprised. 
"Y-you�re not?"stammered 
Kagome. "B-but�you can fly�
and shoot fire�and..."

"That�s because I�m a sorcerer,"
Hikaru stated patiently. "But�I 
only decided to call myself a 
superhero because it would 
make my job easier. I never 
really was one."

Inu-Yasha scratched his chin. 
"Your�job?"

Hikaru shrugged. "I have been 
instructed by my slightly daffy 
teacher, the Ancient One to 
defend our world from demonic 
invaders, and similar threats to 
its exceedingly fragile stability."
Hikaru took a deep breath. "I 
was just starting out when we met, 
though I have to say, I was making 
a pretty good run of it..."

"So�wait,"interrupted 
Inu-Yasha. "Your teacher 
sent you out alone to take 
on demonic hordes?"

Hikaru stared at him through 
lidded eyes. "That is exactly 
what I just said, yes..."

"And you did it?"

Hikaru began to rub his forehead. 
"Well, again, yes, as otherwise, 
we wouldn�t be talking now, 
would we?"

Inu-Yasha simply looked at him 
awkwardly for a moment, then 
asked bluntly, "Why?"

Hikaru gave an exasperated sigh. 
That was an exceedingly sensible 
question of the sort Hikaru usually 
asked himself. "Because I went to 
the Ancient One and asked him to 
change my life�and he did. You 
don�t ask a total stranger to paint 
your room some wild color and 
then object because he chose neon 
pink. Not if you have any sense. 
And�well, the world really needs 
someone to do this right now, and 
I seem to be the guy who�s landed 
the position."Hikaru shook his 
head. "Not that I�m happy about 
that. But none of that�s important 
right now. The point is, I�m not a 
superhero. I�m just a man who has 
an unpleasant job he has to do. Like 
a garbage man. Or a proctologist."

Inu-Yasha and Kagome were 
staring at him their expressions 
those of utter shock. *Well,* 
thought Hikaru, *at least this 
will take care of that damned 
hero worship I was getting. 
Of course they�ll probably 
want to tear me apart limb by 
limb, but given what�s probably 
going to happen, that might 
be a better way to go.*

Finally, Kagome broke the 
silence. "Wow. You really 
*are* a superhero."

Hikaru blinked. "What?"

Kagome struck a pose. "If there 
is one thing I have learnt about
 heroes, from my years of comic 
reading, it�s that the ones who go 
on denying their heroism while 
continuing to selflessly serve their 
fellow man are the greatest heroes 
of all."She grabbed his hand and 
gave it an enthusiastic squeeze. "I�m 
so honored that you�ve chosen to 
let me serve by your side. It must 
be fate..."

Hikaru was about to note that he 
hadn�t chosen anything, and that 
if fate was involved it was probably 
in the form of bad karma, when he 
noticed Inu-Yasha nodding. "I don�t 
buy all this superhero stuff the way 
Kagome does, but I don� think I 
would do what you have, if I was 
in your shoes, which means yer 
either brave as hell, or crazy as 
can be. Probably both."

Hikaru glared at him. "Thanks. I�m 
touched by your faint praise."

Inu-Yasha shrugged. "Hey, bein� 
crazy and brave�s a pretty winning 
combination. If anyone can get us 
out of this situation, it�s you..."

Hikaru winced. Okay, so he seemed 
to have made them more impressed. 
Fine. Sometimes, you just have to 
take things in their stride. He shut 
his eyes. He really needed a plan. 
So, what did they have? *My magic, 
and brains�such as they are... 
Inu-Yasha�s swordplay and muscle�
not that either did much good earlier... 
Kagome�s archery and�umm, 
well, enthusiasm, I guess...

Hikaru sighed. It wasn�t much. 
In fact, it was piteously little. 
Still, things could be worse. 
Mr. Wigglesworth could be a 
lot smarter than it actually was.

And that�s when the idea it him, 
with all the force of mackerel 
slapping a man in the face. 
"All right,"Hikaru began. 
"I think I�ve got it..."

-----

Hikaru was strolling quietly alone 
on the rooftop. After a while, he 
began to sing. 

"Oh, I got the solitary victim�
strolling stupidly alone blues. 
Yes�the solitary victim�
strolling stupidly alone blues. 
Oh, I�m gonna scream and shout�
when the giant monster rips my 
insides out. Yes, the solitary victim�
strolling stupidly alone blues..."

At that moment Mr. Wigglesworth 
smashed through the roof. "Your 
singing is off-key,"muttered Mouth 
Number One.

"And your song lacks intellectual 
merit, and a catchy hook,"noted 
Mouth Number Two.

"Actually, I kind of liked it,"said 
Mouth Number Three. "Solitary 
victim�strolling stupidly alone 
blues..."

"Oh, shut up..."said Numbers 
One and Two.

"Don�t listen to Number Three..."
said Number One. "I for one am 
only associated with him by 
unhappy chance..."

Number Three frowned. "Hmmph. 
Never a word of appreciation from 
you..."

Number Two sighed. "Guys, let�s stay focused on the 
task at hand�killing the magician."

Number Three laughed. "That�s right! I nearly forgot 
about that one..."

Number One sneered. "Any last 
words, before we tear you limb 
from limb, and feast on your
juicy entrails...?"

Hikaru gestured behind Mr. 
Wigglesworth. "Oh my 
goodness! What�s that 
behind you?"

Number Two snorted. "Oh, 
how clever..."

"Ingenious..."chortled Number 
Three.

"Listen, mortal, we don�t fall for 
the same trick twice..."said Number 
One.

A tight, bitter smile spread over 
Hikaru�s face. "Yeah. I was 
hoping that was the case."

At just that moment Inu-Yasha 
slammed Tetsaiga straight through 
the Elder God. Hikaru grabbed the 
blade as it passed through.

"As I recall, you skin is like adamant�
but I doubt your insides are,"he stated 
flatly as he sent a bolt of pure energy 
up the blade.

The three mouths screamed in unison. 
It was, Hikaru realized, the first time 
they�d all said exactly the same thing.

The energy of the sword and his magic 
surged through the monster�s body. 
Hikaru could see bits of flesh crumbling 
away. "Now, Hellcat! Aim for the shard!"

Kagome stood up from her hiding 
place on the tool shed, and loosed 
an arrow that quickly tore through 
the creature�s throat, and imbedded 
itself in a nearby wall, the shard 
gleaming at its tip. Without the 
jewel�s energy to sustain it, Mr. 
Wigglesworth was torn apart by 
the combined assault.

Hikaru released the sword and 
slumped forward. His arms felt 
like lead. Actually, all of him did.

Kagome lowered herself from 
the toolshed roof. "Is�is it 
dead?"

Hikaru managed a weak shrug. 
"It�s�dispersed beyond a doubt. 
It won�t be able to reform here, 
not for a long time. And I think 
it lost a lot of substance from 
that attack�so maybe it is really, 
truly dead. Or maybe not."

Kagome smiled. "Oh. Well, good."
She glanced at him. "Now all you 
have to do is the witty catchphrase!"

Hikaru couldn�t even muster the 
energy to glance at her. "The 
what�?"

"The witty catchphrase!"chirped
 Kagome. "The joke by which the 
hero demonstrates his hearty spirit, 
after he�s killed or significantly harmed 
someone."

Hikaru shut his eyes. "Ah."
He swayed slightly. "Go to 
hell."

Kagome laughed. "Good one, 
Dr. Strange."

"Umm, Kagome,"Inu-Yasha said 
quietly, "I think he was sayin� that 
to you."

Kagome seemed about to reply to that 
when she noticed Hikaru was falling 
face-forward.

-----

When Hikaru came to, the first thing 
he groggily noticed was a poster with 
both a rainbow and a unicorn on it. 

This shocked him sufficiently to fully 
awaken him.

Glancing around, he decided there were 
two likely explanations.

Either he had decided to redecorate 
his room during a semi-conscious 
haze on the dominant motifs of 
*pink*, *frilly*, and *stuffed*.

Or he was in somebody else�s room.

Kagome�s "You�re up!"confirmed 
the second explanation.

Hikaru glanced at her. "Why�d you 
bring me to your house?"

Kagome shrugged. "You passed 
out. It�s not like we know where 
you live."

"Oh."Hikaru coughed. "Well, thank
 you."He glanced around awkwardly. 
"How long have I been�unconscious...?"

"Two hours,"replied Kagome. "I was 
worried for a bit, but you�re tougher 
than you look."She glanced at him 
pointedly. "Who�s this �Nabiki� 
person? Your archnemesis?"

Hikaru thought that over. "More or less."
He turned and opened the window. 
"Well, thanks for the help. Now I 
must be off. Things to do."

"Doctor Strange�wait."Kagome 
requested quietly. 

Hikaru paused, and looked at her.

"First I�d like to say thank you. 
I don�t know what Inu-Yasha 
and I would have done without 
you."

Hikaru fidgeted nervously. "You�d have been fine," he 
lied. "But thanks for the compliment. Now, if you�d 
please excuse me..."

"And second,"Kagome began, 
"Inu-Yasha and I�well, really 
it�s just me, but I�m sure he�ll 
agree with me�we�d really like 
to keep working with you. We 
think you�ll be a big help in our
 mission to purge the world of 
injustice, because frankly�"
she looked at him confidentially�
"I don�t think we�ve quite got 
it down yet..."

A part of Hikaru felt like saying, 
*'Look, I�m just as confused and 
clueless as you are. I just hide it 
better.'* But he didn�t. He at least 
owed the girl her illusions. "I�
prefer to work alone."That was 
definitely the truth. Hikaru just 
wasn�t terribly fond of people.

"But we can help you!"said Kagome 
anxiously. "We did last night!"

*Out of mess you pretty much got me 
into,* thought Hikaru. But he didn�t say 
that either. "I�ll contact you if I need to..."

Kagome frowned slightly. "Well, 
could we at least have your phone 
number? We�d only use it as 
necessary!"

Hikaru sighed. "Kagome�I 
really would prefer it if you left 
me alone. I�ve gotten myself into a 
pretty dangerous situation, and I 
really don�t intend to get anybody 
else into it."He shook his head. 
"Last night was just a beginning. 
There�s a lot more for me to do."

"And Inu-Yasha and I want 
to help you!"Kagome said 
positively.

"No, you don�t"said Hikaru. 
He headed out the window. 
"Goodbye."

Kagome actually had to 
suppress an urge to cry. 
However, a second later 
she heard a voice.

"Kagome?"

"Dr. Strange?"

"I changed my mind. You can 
have my phone number."

"Really?"she asked joyously.

"Yes. Now help me out of this 
tree. My cloak seems to have 
gotten tangled up in it."

-----

Hikaru sat down to a breakfast 
consisting of grapefruit, toast, 
and grapefruit juice. (Hikaru 
enjoyed consistency.) Glancing 
at the paper, he noted the back 
page included an article about a 
vampire superhero, Baron Blood,
 who had performed such feats as 
saving a girl from a monster, and 
foiling the robbery attempt on a 
diner by a supervillain whose name 
they could not disclose for legal 
reasons.

Hikaru sighed. It wasn�t like 
he�d expected to be famous. 
Just that they�d get his name 
right.

"Hikaru, dear?"asked 
his mother.

Hikaru glanced up. "Yes?"

"There�s a phone call for you, 
from some girl. Says she�s in 
your manga club."

Hikaru felt a sinking feeling in 
his stomach. "Oh. I see."

"I didn�t know you were in a 
manga club."

Hikaru fidgeted. "I joined one 
recently. On a spontaneous 
whim."

His mother nodded. "I see."She 
smiled. "Well, I�m glad to see 
you�re socializing."

Hikaru glanced to the side. "Right..."

"Though I wish you�d tell me about 
these things..."

"Can I just have the phone?"asked 
Hikaru.

"Of course, dear,"she said, handing 
it to him. She gave him a light kiss 
on the forehead. "I hope you enjoy 
yourself in your new club."She 
walked away.

Hikaru shut his eyes. "Hello?"

"Hey, Dr. Strange! What did 
you think of my cover story?"

Hikaru shuddered. "It was ingenious 
and foolproof."He stiffened. 
"Kagome, I believe you said 
that you�d be using my number 
only when necessary."

"Yep."

"Which apparently means 
twenty minutes after you get it..."

"Well, we have synchronize our 
actions,"said Kagome in dead 
earnest. "So, when�s our next 
patrol?"

There are times when you have to 
bow to the inexorable will of the 
universe. Hikaru did so.

"Just let me finish my breakfast. I�ll get 
back to you."

"Okay,"said Kagome cheerily, hanging 
up.

Hikaru looked at his grapefruit. Oddly 
enough, he was no longer hungry.

--Next Chapter--

KAGOME: And so the dice is cast!

HIKARU: That�s �the die is cast�. Or 
maybe �the dice are cast�...

KAGOME: What adventures await our 
intrepid band of adventurers as they 
eagerly plunge into perilous peril?

INU-YASHA: Hey, I ain�t eagerly plunging
 into anything...

HIKARU: That sentence made my head 
hurt...

KAGOME: Join us next time for another 
thrilling collection of thrills, in our next 
exciting chapter "Friend of the Devil-Slayer"!

HIKARU: Is she always like this...?

INU-YASHA: You have no idea...

HIKARU: (sighs) I could have gotten a good 
supporting role in that Vampire D fusion, but no! 
I had to try being a hero, just once...

-----


	
		
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