FOREWORD: This fic follows "Finding" and "The P-chan Letters". It
doesn't really stand on its own, I'm afraid - "Letters", at least,
should probably be read first. Both these fics have just been reposted
to the list, but they can also be found here:
http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1691663
(Finding)
and here: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1924279 
(The P-chan Letters - though the formatting at ff.net doesn't work very
well with this one).
Thanks to my pre-reader, Cat H, and to those who commented on the
earlier stories.

DISCLAIMER: The characters and situations of "Ranma 1/2" were created
and are owned by Rumiko Takahashi. Some of them are used here without
permission. This work is for entertainment purposes only, not profit.


Someday, Maybe
by Elin B


(Akari)

"It ridiculous."
Shampoo turned away dismissively, casting a look out the window. Akari
followed her gaze, but couldn't see anything of interest outside. The
cold, gray February weather did nothing to cheer her up. Everything
seemed bleak and desolate out there.

Shampoo's great-grandmother had told them they could use the kitchen to
talk, for a while. The restaurant was closed down right now for
cleaning anyway, she said. Through the door, Akari could hear the
sounds of mopping and scrubbing and, occasionally, the old woman's
chiding her assistant and his grumble in return.

"Maybe it's ridiculous to you," said Akari shyly. "But I hardly know
anything about it, about Ryoga's challenge to you and your fight...He
didn't write me much at all." She had heard a little more from Akane
recently, but something told her not to mention this. "And I'm worried
about him right now," she continued, "and since you and Mousse are
those who have seen him most recently..."
Shampoo tsked.
"All right, then," she said with a loud sigh. "This what happened. We
fight, he win. I make new challenge, he win again. He ask to teach me.
I no want stupid boy my own age teach me. I only ask Ranma do that as
favour... and to be with man I love." She sighed, a dreamy look coming
into her eyes fleetingly, then disappearing very quickly again. "But I
say yes anyway," she finished. She took a kitchen knife and started to
hack up some vegetables that lay there.

"Why?" said Akari nervously. Although this girl seemed no older than
herself and couldn't speak Japanese properly, she still managed to make
Akari feel very young and immature in comparison. 
"Because I mad," said Shampoo calmly, putting aside the cut-up
vegetables and rinsing the knife under the tap. "It must be all Ranma
fault. He too scared of Akane to say he teach me, when I ask two months
back. So he get stupid pig-boy do it instead. Shampoo get better, so
can go beat up Ryoga *and* Ranma, and do it good. Ranma learn he no can
treat future wife like that." She nodded with satisfaction, rubbing her
hands together, though perhaps that was just to get them dry from the
dishwater.

"You know," said Akari cautiously, deciding quietly that she wouldn't
drag up Ranma's engagement to Akane right this moment, "he - I mean
Ryoga - he's said he'd like to try to become a teacher of martial arts
one day. He'd have to learn to fight girls then, too, or so he wrote
me." She glanced at Shampoo. 
Shampoo shrugged. "I no care," she said. "He only show up once, anyway.
This Wednesday. We start sparring."
Akari leaned forward anxiously. "Did something happen? Did you say
something mean to him - or, I mean, something he might take the wrong
way?"
"No! Shampoo tell you already. Maybe he seem down, but Ryoga so often
down, I no think about it. He say he can learn from me, too, but then
he no pay attention when I start show him. I go mad, he still no
listen. Then Mousse show up."

She made a grimace of distaste. "Stupid Mousse challenge Ryoga before,
but Ryoga no show up in time. Mousse no have time to wait, he say. He
just hang around me too much. So he start fight right then."

Akari bit her lip. "He used that depression technique, didn't he?" she
mumbled. "That heavy energy-thingie." The Chinese youth had seemed
upset, even bitter when he told her about it just now. But she had a
feeling that part of his reaction might be what Ranma seemed to feel,
too: an anger towards Ryoga for getting so depressed for no good reason
- as they saw it - and without letting anyone know about it. 
She sighed. They don't understand, she thought. But then, did she?

"Yes, Ryoga use Shishi Hokodan," said Shampoo now. "Is dangerous
construction technique. For Amazons, is forbid to fight with." She
looked thoughtful. "I no want to learn anyway, but maybe try Ranma's
variation one day. That one no is forbid."
"And what happened then?"
"Mousse go down, people show up, Great-Grandmother come running...
Ryoga just leave and walk. First slow, then more fast, then he run.
Great-Grandmother tell me help get Mousse to restaurant, and that all."
"I see," said Akari slowly. She glanced out the window again. The skies
looked heavy and gray, and she had a feeling it might start to rain
soon. 
"I wish I knew where he was," she mumbled.

Shampoo didn't seem to be listening. She had picked up some sort of
weapon which had stood propped up towards the wall - a big, rounded
clublike thing which Akari didn't know the word for - and was now
swinging it gently.
"Maybe no good sparring with him anyway," she said. "Ryoga...he give
up, he no stubborn enough. He, what you say, he resign."
Akari swallowed. 
"Um...is that why you call him stupid?" she said.
Shampoo turned to her, looking half surprised, half annoyed. Then she
looked away, and sighed.
"Think all men stupid," she said. "One way, or other way." A distant
look, no longer exactly dreamy, came into her eyes. "At least Ranma
have style. Good fighter."
She paused, then added: "He *very* good fighter," as if to underline a
point.

Then she put the weapon away. 
"Shampoo no have time to chat more now. Work in restaurant."
The cleaning noises had been pretty weak for the last few minutes, but
even if they were done with that, there could of course be tons of
things to do which Akari knew nothing about. She had never worked in a
restaurant.
"Wait!" she exclaimed, as Shampoo started to move towards the door.
"Could you please just...do you know of any more places where I could
look for him?"
Shampoo turned. 
"Sulk places, maybe?" she said. But there was no contempt visible on
her face this time. 

Akari donned her coat and umbrella, and walked out through the kitchen
door. She thought that it perhaps it was for the best that her father
hadn't let her take Katsunishiki with her today, even though it was
ever so much easier getting around with his help. The old boy never
seemed to mind the rain much, but people usually didn't like having a
near ton's worth of wet pig taking up space in their hallways.

So, she thought. If I were in Shampoo's place, would I cling even
harder to my goal as it seemed less within in reach? Would I work hard
to make my love see that I am the best one for him, the one he should
choose, or would I just give up and...resign?
And if she were in Ryoga's shoes...But of course, it wasn't the same
thing. Ryoga had her. He had someone else he liked.
Of course.


(Two days earlier)

"No," said Akane into the receiver. "No, I haven't seen him, Akari. I
did send him a letter yesterday, but who knows when he'll see it?"
She listened a little, wiping her hands from rinsing the dishes. She
thought she could sense her big sister's eyes on her from the other
room, possibly because she was worried about the state of their dishes.

"Well," said Akane, "I wrote that I wanted to talk to him, and that I
wished he would stop doing depression blasts like the other day," she
said. "Because people could get hurt. Even him. But, Akari..."

She listened some more, sighed and leaned back on a cupboard, adjusting
the telephone cord as she did so."
"But listen," she tried again. "Whatever I say has to be the truth,
right? Because otherwise he wouldn't believe me. Well, maybe he would,
but he shouldn't. So I can't just say what *you* think would be best
for him to hear. It has to be what I really feel." She paused,
listening. "No, of course not." She sighed loudly. "No, not anymore." A
guarded, defensive look spread over her face. "Yes, so you say," she
said tiredly. "You're not the only one, either. But I don't know if
what I think really means that much to him *now*, even if it did a year
ago." 

"Well, anyway. That's how I feel," she said decisively. "If I find him
before you do, of course I'll let you know, or tell someone else to
tell you."
"Yes, of course. Please try to stay calm, Akari. And don't forget to
eat or sleep, either," she added. "All right. Yes, you can phone me
tomorrow if you like. Good bye."



(Akane)

"I didn't know," said Akane. She was plucking on the table cloth in
front of her. The rain had surprised them in a neighbourhood she still
didn't really know, and they had wound up in this unfamiliar
restaurant, where thankfully this rather private table had been free. 

"I didn't know it meant that much to you what I thought. As they say it
does."  But she did not really doubt this anymore - that she seemed to
have played a frighteningly large part in Ryoga's life without
realising it. Thinking about it gave her an odd sense of being
simultaneously powerful and helpless. It was not a power she had asked
for. 

Ryoga was blushing. "Well," he mumbled inarticulately, then gave up and
merely shrugged.
"Ranma told me that," she said. "That's why I held back, when I first
wrote back to you, even though I didn't quite believe him. I was going
to be much nastier first."
"I was prepared for that," said Ryoga, almost tonelessly. "It wouldn't
have surprised me if you were." His blush had gone down now, and he was
no longer looking down at the table, but on the window shelf to Akane's
left. 

She looked out. The rain was beating down relentlessly out there. She
would have preferred it if they could have been outside to talk, maybe
in a park or a vacant lot: but the weather had not been accommodating.
So they had wound up in this unfamiliar restaurant instead. Thankfully,
it wasn't too full, and offfered at least somewhat secluded tables.

Well, here they were. She felt very blank and inadequate. But there was
no help for it. No matter what this young man might feel, she was the
only one here with him. Not an angel or epitome of womanliness or
amazing heroine, just a seventeen-year-old schoolgirl. And he was just
a young man who turned into a pig. 
They were the only ones there, after all.


(Akari)

Meanwhile, Akari was having tea with Mrs Saotome, Ranma's mother.
It was Mrs Saotome who had finally spotted Ryoga going down her street
earlier today, as she was carrying home groceries. She had asked him to
come in and made a phone call to her daughter-in-law-to-be. Akane had
then taken her bike to Mrs Saotome's place, and left it to Kasumi to
tell Akari all this over the phone, which she had done helf an hour
ago. So now Akari was here, but Akane and Ryoga were not.

"No, I'm afraid not," said Mrs Saotome. "I offered them to use this
very room, if she wanted to talk." She waved at the sitting-room around
them. "But Akane said she thought it was too crowded, that it might be
better if they could be somewhere outside. This was before it started
to rain, you see. So they took their leave, and I suppose that it
wasn't long after this that it started to come down."

"I see," said Akari. She nibbled at a cookie. It tasted good, but she'd
had a hard time eating anything lately. "How did Ryoga seem to be?"
"Well, he seemed a little surprised to see me, so I suppose he hadn't
planned to come here," said Ranma's mother. "And perhaps he did look a
little tired. But, you know, I've only met your young man once before,
so I don't really know what he's normally like. That was back in
October, when he gave me my little Chumaru, here." She smiled and cooed
at the white-and-brown dog sitting beside her. 

Akari reached out and scratched him between the ears, just to show that
they were old acquaintances. "Yes, he mentioned that he'd given you a
puppy," she said. "But he really didn't say anything more about meeting
you." Only that Ryoga thought she was surprisingly well-mannered and
polite, considering whose mother she was. 

Mrs Saotome sipped her tea thoughtfully.
"It may have been rash of me," she said judiciously. "But you see, I've
grown rather close to little Akane - I feel almost as if she were my
own daughter. Still, it wasn't just that I could see how upset she was,
so far from her normal cheerful self. No, you may not have another
cookie," she told the dog. "I am not going to have a fat dog." She
scratched him gently under his chin, then turned back to Akari. "But I
had also heard that Ryoga's parents apparently don't have much to do
with him, so I thought that might account for his mistake."

Akari felt she had to stand up for the Hibikis. "They can't help it if
they can't be home much," she protested. "And Ryoga's not that bad. He
just lets his emotions run away with him at times." She blushed a
little. Speaking of Ryoga's shortcomings like that made her feel both a
little ashamed and relieved. Maybe it was okay if he wasn't perfect.
"Well, it was only a guess," said Ranma's mother brightly. "I also
wished to hear his side of the story." She frowned, and added
seriously, "There was also my son's involvement to consider."
"Um," said Akari. "Ranma's been very heplful to me this last few days,
trying to help me find Ryoga and so on...In fact, he's always been
helpful, come to think of it."

Mrs Saotome smiled warmly. "That pleases me to hear," she said. 
"Though I expect no less of him. I did say to Ryoga that I appreciated
the fact that he had so often challenged my son, engaging him in 
healthy, manly competition, as I understand it." Mrs Saotome nodded
with satisfaction to herself. "My husband says it is one of the things
that have made the boy stronger, and Ranma has said himself that - Are
you feeling alright, dear? You're trembling!"

"No, no, it's nothing," said Akari weakly, not understanding why she
suddenly trembled all over. She forced herself to breathe slower. "No,
it's nothing. I just..." This was ridiculous. Her arms and legs
wouldn't stop trembling. She put a hand to her temple and held quite
still, breathing slowly in and out.
"Perhaps you'd like a glass of water?" said Mrs Saotome, a concerned
tone in her gentle voice.
Akari shook her head, without looking up. "No, no, it's all right," she
said. "I just "- she blinked fiercely - "I'm just glad that we found
him, that's all." And there was nothing she could do about it, the
trembling, the conversations, or the rain: nothing at all. It was much
like the way things were back home right now, with an ailing
grandfather and a very sick sow and the other things. 
But they'd found Ryoga, this woman had found him. And it still might
not help.

It's out of my hands, she thought dully. It's up to you now, Akane.
Just don't screw this up, or I swear I'll.... But there was no strength
to her thoughts. She was just so very tired.


(Akane)

Akane cleared her throat, and took a deep breath.
"You know, it's just that, well..." She coughed, and drank a gulp of
water. "...I'm tired. I'm fed up with being angry. I've already decided
I'm not going to carry you any grudge anymore. So, if you want" - she
shrugged, here - "we could just go our separate ways, with no hard
feelings. Or, perhaps you could - we could be friends, if you like."
She bit her lip, then took another sip from her tea, which was quite
cold by now. "But I'm not sure that would be best for you, actually,"
she added. "Because I'd probably ask you a lot of questions, and want
to find out things. So, um. It's up to you, really."

She had only looked at him very briefly during the last few minutes.
Now she turned her head towards him again. Ryoga, in his turn, was
studying the table again, twining a pair of leftover noodles
absent-mindedly  with his chopsticks. Then he looked straight at her
and let out a long, deep sigh. 
"Do you mean that?" he said cautiously. "Do you really mean it, that
you - " he swallowed, - "that you won't carry any grudges and all that?
That you will release me?"
"Release?" said Akane, raising her eyebrows at the choice of words. 
"From my debt of honour," he clarified.
"Oh." She hadn't thought about it in quite those terms, but they were
true enough. "Yep, I do."

He let out another deep sigh.
"That's good," he said. He leaned back a little, taking a look at the
restaurant around them. Then he looked thoughtful. "I haven't really
earned it, though. Just waiting."
"And the Shampoo bit," she reminded him. 
"Oh, right. I forgot. I don't know if I did that too well, though..."
"What?" she said. "You did exactly what we asked for, what I had hoped
for. You distracted her and got her to take up training seriously
again. Ranma couldn't teach her by himself, or rather he didn't want to
- and I didn't want him to...But this way, she will still gain
something, not just lose. Even if it's only to get stronger. And I
wanted her out of the way that day. So, thank you." She looked up at
him and smiled.
"Ah, well. Heh-heh." Ryoga laughed weakly, scratching the back of his
head. He looked like he was about to ask her something, then didn't. If
he asked, Akane supposed she could tell him, now, why they had wanted
not to be disturbed on that particular day. But he didn't seem to want
to ask right now.

They sat quietly for a while. Akane felt herself relax in response to
Ryoga's lightening mood. Now she wondered if she ought to remind him of
the other things she'd just said. Maybe she hadn't explained properly
yet.
Ryoga cleared his throat.
"So," he said slowly, "this means I'm free, but..." He paused, then he
said, "But what do you want to know? If you'd asked before you'd said
you'd forgiven me, I wouldn't have a choice not to tell you. But I
guess I do have a choice, now.
Akane nodded. "And you can ask me things, too," she said, a little
reluctantly. But it was only fair. She tried to gather her thoughts
quickly.
"Well...Ranma has told me a lot about you that I didn't know, but of
course, it's all from his point of view," she said. "And I've been
talking a bit with Akari, too, these last week or so. Ryoga, would you"
- She paused. "If you'd managed to get cured, would you still have told
me truth afterwards?"
"I don't know," said Ryoga. He was looking at his hands, rolling his
thumbs. "Probably not, unless I still had those nightmares."

"What if we - what if I had fallen in love with you?" she asked very
quietly. "Would you still have told me the truth, then?"
He stopped rolling his thumbs and sat very still. The silence between
them made the restaurant sounds appear louder. 
"Don't think so," said Ryoga finally. He seemed to try to laugh. It
didn't come out very well. "Guess it's a good thing it didn't happen,
huh?" he said, his voice sounding a little odd.
She glanced at him. He was looking out the window, his cheeks red. 
It looked like it had stopped raining.

"Ryoga, you know..." she said hesitantly. "I wouldn't have cared. I
mean, I wouldn't have liked you any less if I had known from the start.
I'm not saying I would have fallen in love with you"- darn it, now her
face was growing hot again - "but I didn't when I didn't know, so...I
mean," she tried to finish, "I don't think there's anything wrong with
turning into a pig. I don't think that makes anyone a worse person."

Ryoga just nodded. There was something blank in his eyes. 
"I would have - " He stopped, clearing his throat.
"I would have done whatever you asked me to do," he said. "Back then,
because it was you, and now, to repay my debt. You know, this summer...
when I talked to Akari about you, and the nightmares, she said I still
- still belonged to you. And she was right. I couldn't become free
until after I'd taken P-chan away from you, if you could forgive me.
Sorry about that," he mumbled.

"You know," said Akane after a while, "I've been trying to imagine what
it would have been like, if I had never met you, if I hadn't known you
for these past few years. I suppose, well, I suppose I wouldn't have
been hurt and upset and angry and tense these last few months, but...I
would have known less, you see? I would have been dumber, poorer. More
lonely. On the other hand, it might have been better for you."
He shook his head. "Never," he said quietly.
Akane shrugged. She didn't much feel like bad-mouthing herself right
now, anyway. 
"And of course, Ranma would be dead," she mumbled, then trembled a
little.
"Huh?" said Ryoga. "Oh." Ryoga fingered his cup. "But," he said slowly,
"it was _you_ I always wanted to save. Not my enemy."

"Well," said Akane, smiling a little. "You did save me once, that time
when Ranma fell in love with you and got jealous." 
He blushed crimson immediately.
"Yeah. Right," he mumbled. Evidently this was not one of his cherished
memories. Well, it hadn't exactly been fun for her, either.
"So," she said. "It was me you wanted to hook that time, wasn't it?"
He nodded, still extremely red. "Of course," he said in a sluggish
voice.
"Well, don't do anything like that again," she ordered. "Magical things
like that always lead to trouble." She leaned back a little, flexing
her fingers. How tired she felt, as if she'd had a long and demanding
workout.  Maybe I shouldn't have spoken about all this old stuff, she
thought. Maybe it would be better to delve into why he'd been doing
several Shishi Hokodans over the neighbourhood recently. 

But she couldn't solve his life for him. And no one had the right to
know everything, did they?  

All she could offer was her friendship. A small enough thing, but even
so, it had to be heartfelt.
And now it could be.


(Akari)

She stepped out onto the pavement and started to walk, first rather
slowly. The rain had just stopped, leaving cold mistiness hanging in
the air. Her weariness started to roll back in the fresh air. It didn't
go away completely, just retreated into the back of her head and
somewhere around her shoulders for some later occasion. 
She picked up her speed, looking around carefully. Mrs Saotome had left
her directions to the restaurant. 

There were too many thoughts in her head. She ought to go through them,
all the things she had thought about during the last few days, to pick
out what was useful and worthy and discard the rest, if she only knew
how.

Some of her thoughts were on what Ranma's mother had said. Mrs Saotome
certainly seemed to put a lot of importance on boys being manly - by
which she meant, she had explained when Akari asked, being assertive
yet well-mannered, forthright, courageous, strong-willed, honest and
clearspoken, determined, and relatively modest. And showing a healthy
interest in girls, though not doing anything improper to a girl you
weren't engaged to. 

It all sounded a little too much, thought Akari. Not that she didn't
think Ryoga had those qualities. But could anyone really be like that 
*all* the time? It seemed impossible.

And if someone was that perfect...then he wouldn't need anyone else,
would he? Besides, could a perfect person ever really understand an
imperfect one?

Someday, she thought, maybe I'm the one who will be downcast and sad,
who will need to be listened to and cheered up. If I have someone
who'll stick by me then. Who will know that you can't just be strong
all the time.

The restaurant should be further down this street, on the other side.
Was that it? No - the name on the sign was not right. But perhaps the
one a little further down? She craned her neck to see better. There
were two people standing outside it, looking up and down the street.
One was taller than the other.

A fierce joy seized her. Though the worries didn't leave, the joy
struck her through them, on top of them. 

The shorter figure seemed to notice her, tugged the taller one's
sleeve, pointed. Then a big truck came by, obscuring the view.

One day, I want us to go to China together, she thought. 

She hurried towards the crossing.



* * *

"...and someday maybe, who knows baby, I'll come and be crying to you."
-Bob Dylan, 'To Ramona'


























H�strusk och gr� moln - k�p en resa till solen p� Yahoo! Resor p� adressen http://se.docs.yahoo.com/travel/index.html

             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'