Hm, almost a year since I posted chapter 2 here.  What can I say, but
point the finger at real life.  I've split this into two parts, as it's
longer.

Laurie
milo@winternet.com
http://www.winternet.com/~milo

-----------------
Familiar Strangers
By Laurie Gerholz

Disclaimer:  "Shoujo Kakumei Utena" is owned by Be-Papas, Chiho 
Saitou and various corporate entities.  The characters and 
storylines from that work are used here without permission.  This 
work has been created by a fan, for fans, for no monetary 
compensation.


Chapter 3 -- 	Reflections

      Utena floated along a path worn in tall grass.  Her way led up 
a hill, stars and a waning crescent moon providing more visibility 
than was logical.  Yet the silver-etched landscape was familiar and 
such inconsistencies didn't trouble her.  Nor did the fact that she 
was never quite aware of her feet, or the feel of the earth beneath 
her, whenever she followed this path.

      She wondered what she was wearing on this occasion, and looked 
down at her body.  Utena noted with curiosity that for once she wore 
traditional kimono, the violet silk decorated with azure and emerald 
flowers.  Irises, she thought, limned in crystalline light like the 
grass and trees about her.  And the kimono was perfectly comfortable; 
she had no sense of restricted movement as was often the case when 
she donned traditional wear.  A breeze lifted her hair and she knew 
she wore it loose, not braided as had become her habit.


      "Are you well, Utena?"

      Utena glanced at the tall, dark-skinned man striding along 
next to her.  "I am," she said.  "It's been months, I think, since I 
saw you last."

      "It hasn't been necessary," he said.  The tone of his voice 
was as warm and rich as his smile, and comforted Utena just as much.  
"Unfortunately my attention has been drawn elsewhere."

      "So I can only see you when it's required?" Utena asked.  "Who 
defines that necessity?"

      "Not I," he said with a sigh.  Although he stared far into the 
distance, she could see the resignation in his green eyes.  "That 
has always been my fate, to place need above desire."

      Utena dropped her gaze to the tall grass that brushed past her 
feet.  "Ah.  So only necessity brings us together."

      He laughed, gently.  "My dear, brave girl, why do you insist 
on turning every issue on its head?  Need keeps me away from you.  
Events demand my ... attention."

      "Is it always that way?" asked Utena.  They had reached the 
crest of the hill, and stood together as the stars wheeled across 
the sky.

      "I don't think we need to talk of when it wasn't so," he said.  
"Do we?"

      "No," she agreed sadly.  "We don't."  Memories of the 
repercussions remained clear for her, but distance from that time 
had begun to make them bearable.  "And as always, you can't stay."

      "Indeed."

      "Why have you appeared now?" she asked.  Fingers of one hand 
slid lightly over the silk of her other sleeve.  "Despite the 
confusion, the activity, I've been ... calm.  Almost comfortable."

      "So I see," he said with a smile.  "And that is your answer.  
As I am assured of your safety, I am free to deal with more critical 
matters."

      Her gaze did not waver from his as Utena said, "And still, if 
I stumble into trouble ..."  Her statement hung between them, a 
challenge.

      "Then I will be at your side."  Old grief clouded his eyes, a 
fathomless depth which she thought could swallow him if he let it.

      She relented, and stepped close to him.  She slipped her arms 
about his waist, and laid her head on his shoulder.  He drew his 
cloak about her, and pressed his cheek against her hair.

      "Why do you protect me?" Utena's voice was a bare whisper.  
"How?"

      "Why?  When you answered my call to service, you claimed my 
protection, and my heart.  I cannot forswear that."

      "But I didn't--" Utena looked up at him, her vision blurring 
from tears.

      "Shh."  He kissed her forehead and drew her head back to 
cradle on his shoulder.  "You did what I asked.  For the fact that 
my request was ill-made, the blame is mine, not yours.  Never 
yours."

      "You've said that before.  But how can I believe it?"

      "Perhaps I will just have to continue to say it."

      She nodded and reluctantly disengaged from their embrace.  
"Then let me ask this again:  what do you protect me from?"

      "Again, I cannot say.  To tell you now would draw the danger 
to you.  I will not allow that."

      "Can you ever tell me?"

      He nodded.  "You grow stronger every day.  The time will come 
when I need not stand between you and the threat."  He stepped back 
from her.

      "You're leaving," she said.

      "It is time.  You know I will return."  He turned and strode 
away down the hill, pale hair and white, cloaked, uniform 
transforming him into a figure carved of moonlight.  Always he went 
off in some direction other than that which Utena had approached 
from.  She turned back to her own path and made her way down the 
hill.
       
      *****
       
      Normally, when the alarm rousted her out of bed, Utena would 
forget her dreams in the rush to prepare for the day.  But when he, 
her lost prince, walked in the night with her, his words still 
echoed in her ears as she woke.  As if they'd actually strolled 
together the day before, the image of Dios filled her mind.

      *It's so silly,* Utena thought as she stared at the ceiling in 
the dim dawn light, as the alarm clock continued chiming.  *He 
doesn't exist.  He never existed.*

      *Who gave you the ring?*

      *He was never real,* her mind shouted.  *You foolish girl.  He 
was never more than a conjuration of your trauma-stricken brain.  
He's a shape your psyche wears to help you work through problems.*

      *What problems?  Who gave you the ring?*

      *All right!  So starting college really hasn't been that bad 
yet.  I've met some cool people.  Classes are pretty interesting so 
far.  So what if I have to see Saionji twice a week--we've been 
ignoring each other since that first day.  I can live with that.*

      *The ring.  The rose seal signet.*

      Utena leapt out of bed, covers spilling to the floor in her 
wake.  She yanked open the top drawer of her desk and felt around at 
the very rear of it.  Her fingers found the small flocked box and 
pulled it out.  Utena hated the way her hands trembled whenever she 
did this.  Nevertheless, she carefully opened the tiny box and 
looked at the silver ring resting within.

      Utena padded over to the window with the ring in its velvet 
setting.  A thin bar of morning sunlight slid in between the drawn 
curtains.  She let the light lay across the ring, sparkling off the 
enameled rose crest that adorned it.

      She had worn that ring for seven years, holding it as a 
reminder of the dream she was given to follow.  That dream had 
shattered in the last battle she'd fought at Ohtori, and she always 
wondered why the ring hadn't faded like mist from her finger at that 
moment.  Now the bit of silver seemed ephemeral with the light 
playing over it.  She traced the decorative seal with a fingertip, 
proving its solidity, its reality.  

      Thus completing what had become a ritual heralded by her 
dreams of Dios, Utena snapped the box shut and replaced it in the 
desk drawer.  Finally the alarm chimes broke through her memory-
induced preoccupation.  She switched it off and began preparing for 
the day.

      For the five years since leaving Ohtori Academy, she'd kept 
the signet ring, but never wore it.  She couldn't imagine what could 
induce her to slip it on again.  But whenever she dreamed of Dios, 
the prince who haunted her imagination, she would bring out the ring.

      What did that mean, she wondered, what was she telling herself 
all this time?  If the ring was solid, cool and hard under her touch, 
then was Dios also somehow real?  Could he be more than a wishful 
memory?

      This rumination was ... pointless.  In five years she hadn't 
found an answer to the contradictions, and had begun to wonder if 
there was value in even trying.  She'd followed the promise of the 
ring once, and found only ruin and sorrow.

      It was a Saturday on which she had no classes, but Utena had 
set the alarm anyway, hoping to keep herself on a regular schedule.  
She knew she couldn't do anything about studying with her mind 
roiling the way it was, so she threw on a t-shirt and a pair of 
shorts and went out for a run before breakfast.
       
      *****
       
      Three hours later, Utena felt she'd finally recovered 
sufficient peace of mind that would allow her to have a productive 
day.  Seated next to the washing machine that contained her clothes, 
she was able to easily hear as the machine spun to a stop.  She 
quickly took three more stitches to finish the repeat, then slid the 
work to the center of the needle cable before depositing it 
carefully on her chair.  Utena transferred the wet clothes to an 
open dryer and piled her second load into the washer.  After setting 
both machines to run, she settled back in her chair, checked her 
pattern and resumed the round.

       Clicking needles mirroring her contentment, Utena didn't 
really take note of the person who'd entered the laundry room until 
the woman came over to her.

      "What'cha making?" asked Yuki.

      Utena dug one-handed into the canvas bag next to her chair and 
pulled out a book.  "The top on page 65.  The mid-sleeved version."

      Yuki flipped the book open to the named page.  "Ooh, pretty.  
For summer?"

      "Yeah.  I need something kind of dressy."  Utena didn't stop 
knitting as she talked, glancing back and forth between the work on 
her needles and the copied page of her pattern.

      "I never expected to see you do something so ... so quiet," 
observed Yuki.

      "Ah, had disturbing dreams last night.  Had to do something to 
settle my mind or it'd be bugging me all day."

      "Running?  Kata?"

      "Tried running, didn't help this time.  There's not enough 
room in here for practicing kata, and I did need to do laundry.  And 
I'm going to the dojo for karate this afternoon.  But knitting calms 
me down nicely.  Sure need it after one of *those* dreams."

      "Recurring?"

      "Yeah.  Repercussions from Ohtori."

      "Not that guy.  Sa ... Sai ...?"

      "Saionji.  Good grief, no."  Utena shuddered.  "That would be 
a nightmare.  No, someone else.  They aren't nightmares per se, but 
they always throw me off-kilter.  Don't worry, I really am fine 
now."  She smiled peacefully at Yuki, even though it had just 
occurred to her that she never did dream of Saionji, or Touga, or 
anyone else from Ohtori other than her prince.  Not even Anthy, 
which was strange given all that she'd left undone with the friend 
she'd known so briefly.

      "Okay."  Yuki was paging through the rest of the pattern book.  
"There's a lot of cute stuff in here."

      "I'll tell her you said so."

      "Huh?"  Yuki quickly looked to the cover of the book, locating 
the author's name.  "Yurika Morisato ... Yurika.  Your aunt?"

      "That's her second book.  She's a clothing designer, and has 
been concentrating on knitwear for some years now.  Her first book 
was a collaboration with another designer but this one is all her 
own designs.  She's working on another book now."

      "So she taught you to knit?" asked Yuki.  

      "I finally asked her to.  She's knit and sewn and stuff for as 
long as I can remember, but I never really had an interest in it 
myself," explained Utena.  Yuki finished looking through the book 
and offered it back to Utena, but Utena indicated she should put it 
back in the bag.

      "Then when I was hurt at Ohtori, I was apparently unconscious 
for a number of days.  I woke up in the hospital in Tokyo, and the 
first thing I remember seeing is Aunt Yurika, sitting there by my 
bed, with her 'travel project'.  She always has some knitting she 
can carry with her.  She knew I was awake when I asked her what she 
was working on.

      "I think I told you that my physical recovery was pretty quick.  
They had me up in physical therapy the very next day.  But the 
mental side, ouch.  I knew there was this huge gap in my memory, 
from just after the start of my second term at Ohtori, to when I'd 
woken up in the hospital.  It made me so *angry*, that my mind was 
playing this trick on me.  I knew it was keeping me from doing 
something important.

      "Aunt Yurika came to visit me every day, always with her 
knitting.  I asked her why she had it and she said it calmed her 
nerves when she was stressed."

      Yuki nodded, saying, "My grandmother would do things like 
that."

      "So I asked her why she was stressed."

      "That sounds kind of mean."

      "No kidding.  Have I mentioned I wasn't quite in my right mind 
after waking up?  I'd always sort of wondered if she resented having 
to take me in after my parents were killed in the accident.  But she 
reminded me that I was the only close family she had left.  

      "You see, she was my dad's only sibling, his younger sister.  
She married Hisao Morisato, but he was killed in a plane crash only 
a few years later.  I wasn't even a year old, so I don't remember 
him.  They hadn't started a family yet and she'd never remarried, my 
grandparents on that side were gone by then, and then she'd lost her 
only sibling.  She was very glad she hadn't lost me too.

      "That cleared a lot of air between us.  I wanted to hold on to 
the connection we'd just started, so I asked her to teach me to knit. 
She was quite surprised, but pleased.  The next day she brought 
extra yarn and needles, and I've been at it ever since."

      "And you get nice clothes out of it," said Yuki.

      "That, too," Utena agreed with a laugh.  "So, were you looking 
for me?" she asked, pausing to pull more yarn loose from the skein.

      "Yeah, Nobu said she saw you down here.  Um, you're not going 
to be done with that thing today, are you?"

      "No way!  I'm only about halfway through."

      "Then we'll have to find you something else to wear."

      "Wear?  Am I going somewhere?"

      "I heard about a dance club downtown.  Should be an easy trip 
by train.  Thought we could hit it tonight, if you're not doing 
anything else."

      "No, not this evening," said Utena.  She suddenly felt nervous.  
"I haven't really done the club thing before."

      Yuki crossed her arms and fixed Utena with a school teacher-
ish glare.  "Then it's high time you tried it.  This place sounds 
like a lot of fun.  Have a few drinks, meet some new people..."

      "Okay, I'll try it.  You'll help me figure out what to wear?"

      "Of course!  Leave it to Yuki Hanazawa, Fashion Consultant To 
The Stars.  Or, at least, fashion consultant to her next door 
neighbor."
       
      *****
       
      True to her word, Yuki had both of them decked out in suitable 
style for their evening excursion.  Even though a surprising image 
faced Utena in the mirror after Yuki convinced her to wear her 
electric blue silk shirt open over a black leotard and black jeans, 
Utena still felt quite conservative next to Yuki's leather miniskirt 
and high-heeled shoes.

      "We are walking and taking the train to this place, right?" 
asked Utena, as she combed out her hair.  At Yuki's suggestion, 
she'd  decided to wear her hair loose for the evening.

      "Yeah, I got directions," confirmed Yuki.

      "And you're going to walk in those things?  They must be four 
inches high."

      "I have *practiced* in them."

      "You're a gymnast."

      "I am also a dancer, and I've had to wear heels like these in 
lots of shows."

      "All right, all right.  Just so you're not falling off 'em so 
I have to carry you back."
       
      *****
       
      Utena and Yuki had no difficulty in finding the club.  
Flashing neon starbursts and curlicues in blue and green highlighted 
the club's facade.  Lettering curved into wave-like forms announced 
the club's name:  "Deep Submerge".  Utena was pleased to see a 
trickle of people entering and leaving the club as she and Yuki 
approached from across the street.  She had no interest in wasting 
time just waiting to get in to such a place, nor in hanging about a 
spot that was already dead at that early hour.

      Inside, a short foyer held a reception desk.  The young woman 
who sat behind it asked to see legal ID, which Utena and Yuki 
quickly produced.  A chalk board filled the wall behind the desk, 
covered in day-glo writing that outlined who was performing for the 
current week and the next.

      "Acid Algae?" asked Utena doubtfully, identifying the band for 
the night.

      "Isn't that just the worst name?" said the hostess.  "But 
they're great to dance to.  We wouldn't have them here if they 
weren't."  She cocked her head towards the stairs that led downwards 
at the far end of the foyer.  "But it sounds like they're on break 
right now."

      "Great!  We can grab a table before the next set starts," said 
Yuki.  She and Utena moved to the stairs as the hostess turned her 
attention to two more incoming patrons.  The stairwell darkened as 
it descended so that their eyes adjusted by the time they reached 
the basement club floor.

      The club proper extended out to the left as they emerged from 
the stairwell.  Ahead, a bar stretched along half the wall.  The 
opposite corner held a bandstand that stood unoccupied, the 
instruments waiting for their players.  The bandstand was surrounded 
by a sizeable dance floor, also currently empty.  Tables scattered 
the remaining floor space, and booths lined the walls.

      Although there were many customers about, the place was not 
jam-packed, and here and there could be seen an empty table or booth.  
Utena spied a nearby table which a waitress was just finishing 
wiping down.  She gestured Yuki towards it.

      The waitress noticed them and smiled, pulling out her order 
pad.  "Can I get you two anything?"

      "Manhattan," said Yuki, perching on one of the tall chairs 
next to the table.

      The waitress turned to Utena expectantly.  "Er, ... white 
wine," said Utena, verbally stumbling over the choice.  The waitress 
just nodded and headed for the bar.

      "You can sit down now," said Yuki.

      Utena blinked, realized she was staring about her.  Frowning a 
bit, she took the other chair.  "I did say I hadn't done this 
before."

      "Don't worry about it," said Yuki with a giggle.

      Utena continued examining the club.  The aquatic theme of blue 
and green was continued here in abstract illuminated shapes that 
filled the ceiling between strips of track lighting, and in the 
serpentine designs of the floor tiles.  Turquoise-tinted mirrors 
covered the support pillars and much of the walls.  She liked the 
odd cast the colored mirrors gave to their reflections.

      Shortly after their drinks arrived, the lights above the 
tables dimmed further.  The members of Acid Algae returned to the 
bandstand and took up their instruments.  Green spotlights 
illuminated them, a white one shining down on the young man at the 
front microphone.  Rather, Utena assumed it was a man.  He had a  
man's lean build, despite the heavily made-up eyes peering out under 
wildly spiked and streaked hair.  He called to the crowd, and the 
lights over the dance floor began swinging about, sparking off 
mirrors, flashing liquidly across the room.  The band rolled into 
their new set, and the dance floor began to fill.

      Yuki began nodding in time to the music and tapping her glass 
with a fingernail.  Utena had to admit that Acid Algae produced a 
good sound.  She wondered if she'd dare go out on that floor with 
just Yuki, and suspected that Yuki might drag her out there anyway 
if she demurred.

      "Hey!"  Yuki waved to a pair of young men who then approached 
the table.  She introduced them to Utena as Hikaru and Tetsuo from 
her Calculus class.  They smiled and mentioned dancing.  Before 
Utena hardly knew it, the three had swept her out onto the dance 
floor.  Discomfort quickly faded as Utena found herself caught up in 
the music and motion and sheer energy of the band and dancers.


----Continued in part b----


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