Thermopyle ranted:

Aside from your misuse of the English language, a number of the tags
you used simply didn't work.  They didn't fit the dialogue or actions
they were chosen for.  It's clear that you rushed in writing this or
simply didn't care.  It's not just the technical aspect of the writing
that is lazy, but the content is, too.

You failed to provide convincing scenes or dialogue.  You failed to
provide description that creates a real setting for the characters to
interract within.  You failed to properly build the story towards a
fitting punchline.  You failed to make the first Guu fic enjoyable or
even worth reading.

You failed to make a point.

But you are right, this is an answer.  Thank you for that.

Actually, judging from the volume of your vitriol, not only did he 
succeed in making his point, but he did so with _flying_ colors.

 From the Book of Usenet, 5:12 - "YHBT. YHL. HAND."

But there are some things I learned from Lurker's 'point'. Let me share 
my own experience.

Skimming through this, I actually had no idea something was up until 
that end tag. And then I scrolled back up and realized what ELL had put 
together.

LESSON #1: Speed-reading blurs the distinction between content and 
grammar. For a quick-paced spamfic (with lots of whitespace) this can be 
a big advantage. For a slower-paced serious fic with much twisting and 
turning, grammar and style would be much more noticeable.

ADDENDUM TO LESSON #1: I've been practicing quick-reading for a number 
of years now. I don't the extent to which the average human brain can 
construct concepts from fragmentary outlines thereof. It may be that, 
even speed-reading, some people need 'proper' grammar. But even the idea 
of 'proper' grammar varies from person to person, so this doesn't say 
very much.

And then, looking up, I realized the source of the 'off' feeling I'd 
gotten - 'said' was being avoided with a passion, and so for that matter 
was repetition of any _other_ verb following dialogue.

LESSON #2: 'Said' is your friend. 'Said' will not bite you or throw you 
in the basement. If you find your dialogue wearing thin, you can just as 
easily rearrange the sentence structure as pick another verb out of a hat.

ADDENDUM TO LESSON #2: The example actually didn't work quite as well as 
it could have, because '"Question?" Proper Name verbed.' can be 
interpreted either as a single sentence or as two separate sentences. 
But this leads to another strategy for breaking up sentence structure - 
dialogue in one sentence, not attributed, and a following sentence in 
the same paragraph identifying the speaker.

ADDENDUM TO ADDENDUM TO LESSON #2: There's probably a list of various 
ways to attribute dialogue out there, somewhere. Probably several of 
them. Some of them may even have varied sentence structure, as opposed 
to twenty-five verbs to situationally replace 'said'. Do research on 
your own to increase your understanding!

And _because_ repetition was consciously being avoided, it looked, 
especially near the end, like one of those Tinkertoy constructions you 
build as a kid to 'use up' the whole barrel - it didn't fit together 
well at all.

LESSON #3: Dialogue tags both are and are not characterization. It _is_ 
necessary for them to match with whatever characterization you have in 
mind for the speaker, but by themselves they do not constitute 
characterization. People do things other than speak, after all.

But that, of course, is the point. The fic is patently absurd in its use 
of dialogue tags and deliberately so, to illustrate a point by reducing 
to absurdity.

LESSON #4: You learn more about what works or doesn't work, 
stylistically, when you look at what doesn't work, as opposed to what does.

ADDENDUM TO LESSON #4: Assuming that what an author _writes_ is what an 
author _condones_, and saying so in public, makes you look bitter and/or 
stupid.

--GF

Wondering if SFPFP will run on top of SPFP when it's finally implemented...



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