"DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net> writes:
Kachiko Tendou lay on her stomach, prostrated across her bed, as she pored
over a sprawl of textbooks in an effort to finish a couple of reports due in
school tomorrow. While everything else in the world might have changed,
homework remained the same. Boring, boring, and more boring. By now they
should have developed pills that could grant a person knowledge rather than
forcing them to go through the hassle of actually learning the material.
What good was the future if they didn't make useful things?
As Kachiko stared at the books, the text began to blur together, forming an
endless, monotonous chain of words.
Would that happen if she was looking at books, rather than reading one
particular book?
Kasumi crossed the floor and sat down next to her mother, blissful smile in
place as she handed her the gift.
Kachiko could tell from the weight and feel it was a box of some kind. She
shook it once. "Clothing?" she asked.
"You've very good," Kasumi said.
"Ah, much better than crappy cooking or cleaning utensils. You're learning."
She affectionately patted Kasumi on the head. Then the wrapping was gone in
a flash and the box opened.
"Oooo!" Kachiko goggled at the dress. It was a small number, fire engine red
with spaghetti straps at the shoulders and a hemline that stopped before
reaching halfway down her thighs. Kachiko's top and shorts were quickly
discarded in favor of the new apparel.
Go, Kasumi.
Kasumi did so. The pair went down the stairs far too slowly for Kachiko's
taste, with her appetite doubling as the smell of cooked steak filtered up
the stairway. Her stomach rumbled as her nose basked in the scent of the
rarely offered fare.
Kasumi led Kachiko to the kitchen. "And here we are," she said in open
satisfaction.
Is this really supposed to be the kitchen, rather than where they
usually eat?
"I didn't say that!"
"Ranma, there are only two types of guys that would hesitate to answer that
question: those that don't like the dress and don't want to hurt a girl's
feelings, and those that like the dress and are afraid saying so is some
sort of commitment. You don't have the tact to be the former."
"I do too have tact. I got lots of tact. Just ask anyone."
Heh
Kachiko ignored the statement. "By unwittingly getting on my good side, I'll
let you choose where we eat."
Shifting the conversation away from Ranma's current level of tact and back
to food worked in making him drop the matter. "I'm in the mood for something
ethnic. There's this neat Indian place that just opened over in the shopping
district. I only had that style of food a couple of times traveling with
Pop, but I liked it. I'll lead the way."
This feels a little awkward as dialogue, particularly with 'that style
of food'. I'd just use 'Indian' again, as I think that's how people'd
be likely to actually say it. (Either 'Indian' or 'Indian food')
"I only had Indian [food] once or twice when I traveled with Pops, but I
liked it." or some such.
Soun pulled out a cigarette and lit up. "That's because she didn't behave
the same way around you girls that she did around others. She always acted
by a different standard for your sakes. She wanted to make sure you were
raised happily, and she was always careful around you, almost like you were
made of glass. She was afraid she'd earn your animosity the way her parents
earned hers, and it would have devastated her if your relationship with her
had turned out that way. So she was always extra patient and less...
caustic, around you."
And given what she did nonetheless... ;-)
"She was?" Kasumi asked.
Soun nodded in confirmation. "You three were her pride and joy, so much so I
think it surprised even her. There wasn't a thing in the world she wouldn't
have done for you. Though if you had told her that when we first met, I
think she'd have reacted much the same way as she does now. Well, perhaps
not as loudly, but the sentiment would be the same."
Soun's eyes took on a reflective cast as he took a long drag of his
cigarette. He rose from the table and headed toward the backyard.
"What about dinner, Father?" Kasumi asked.
"I'm no longer hungry either," he informed her.
But Kachiko is hungry, she's off grabbing curry with Ranma.
Soun finished buttoning up his school uniform, paying extra attention that
his collar was straight. He knew he was being overly self-conscious as he
observed his image in the mirror, making certain not a hair was out of
place, nor any unseemly pimples had appeared. Much to his relief, his face
remained unblemished. He was as neatly groomed as he could manage. Not that
he possessed features that would make any women that walked by peer closer
for a second look even at the best of times, but no one regarded him as ugly
or repulsive either. His looks were average, and he could easily blend into
any crowd. It was both to his advantage and a liability, depending on the
woman one was trying to catch. Sometimes standing out was good. Sometimes it
was bad. In any case, at least he would look neat. No woman would be
offended by good personal hygiene.
Does he have a mustache yet? That was one of my first thoughts when I
think of younger Soun...
Minato's eyes followed the course of his hand. An unreadable look crossed
her features.
Seeing the change, Soun asked, "Is that enough, or do you need more? I know
your time is valuable."
"Of course not. It's more than enough," she said just a touch too quickly.
She rolled further still, giving her back to him.
Interesting characterization here.
Soun was relieved. His parents didn't approve of Genma, claiming he was a
bad influence and too low born to be seen with-- as though the Arisugawa
bloodline had any great lineage itself. They might have been at one time,
but Soun's maternal grandfather had gambled and drank away the family
fortune.
Lineage is unrelated with prominence or wealth, though. Suggest 'as
though Arisugawa name was anything to be particularly proud of. It
might have been at one time...' or similar.
"You know that mysterious master that everyone talks about? The one I've
been trying to find? I uncovered some more information about him."
"Are you talking about the one that always seems to be in trouble with the
law?" Soun asked with a decided lack of enthusiasm.
"Bah, it's all rumor and innuendo," Genma scoffed. "I'll bet he hasn't done
half the things he's been accused of. I mean really, a serial panty thief?
It's preposterous."
"True." Soun admitted. There was no way someone reputed to be as powerful
and knowledgeable of the martial arts as this mysterious figure could
possibly be so perverted.
I think this attempt at irony didn't work out.
Genma continued. "Anyhow, I was hanging around this bar, listening to people
talk, and I heard his name mentioned. I asked this guy that dropped the name
about it, and after pumping a few drinks into him, he confessed that he had
heard a couple of fellows claiming to have been this master's students.
Apparently they had just escaped from him, and were getting drunk in
celebration. The guy I was talking to managed to share a few drinks with
them."
"Escaped?"
"A fancy way of saying they ran out on him, probably because his techniques
are so powerful they couldn't endure the training required to learn them,"
Genma stated contemptuously.
Soun shook his head worriedly. "I don't know, Saotome. The more I hear about
this master, the more I don't like about it. Maybe we should just forget
about seeking him out and asking him to teach us."
This worry doesn't seem consistent with Soun's later doubt about Happosai.
Now it was Genma's turn to look askance at his comrade. "I'm going to
pretend I didn't hear that. You know you've been just as frustrated as me.
We've hit the wall. Sensei Tanaka said he taught us all he could, and he
doesn't know anyone around here that's a better teacher than him. We have to
improve in the art. It's the path a true martial artist must take!"
"That is true," Soun admitted. Genma had a point. Sensei Tanaka had said
that he and Genma were prodigies and had learned everything the old man had
to teach in record time. Without someone to press them, neither he nor
Saotome was getting any better. The only way to improve was to find a better
teacher than the one they had, which had led to Saotome's quest for this
mysterious figure who was said to be one of the most powerful martial
artists in Japan.
There was a time when improving in martial arts was all Soun had wanted. It
was the only truly bright point in his dismal life, besides his friendship
with Saotome. But now there were other considerations. Something that made
the martial arts seem like a black hole next to the nova-like glow it
possessed. Something that made the art seem almost silly by comparison.
Genma had an uncharacteristically determined look on his features. "You're
still in this with me, right, Arisugawa? You still want to hook up with this
guy and have us taken on as his disciples?"
"Of course," Soun said, mostly to placate his friend rather than out of any
burning desire of commitment. Besides, Soun doubted this 'Happosai'
character really existed, or if he did, that he as good as the rumors
claimed. Even if he was, there was no guarantee he was looking for students.
No, the odds of this dream of Genma's panning out were like most of the
other plans the man had: a hundred to one at best.
Missing the undertones of Soun's lip service, Genma slapped his friend on
the back. "All right. I'll keep searching for this guy. You have good luck
with those folks of yours. Maybe they're going to get off your back and let
you live a little for a change."
Soun accepted his friend's well wishes. It was more likely he would end up
becoming a 'serial panty thief' than his parents allowing him to live his
life in peace.
than his parents would allow him
(or, 'His becoming a 'serial panty thief was more likely than his parents...')
Once it became obvious the couple would never manage to live in the
affluence they had been raised in, they shifted their attention to preparing
for a comfortable retirement. The only way they would accomplish that goal
was to see to it their children gained that money somehow, and then
naturally take care of their parents once they became older. Oh, they
contended what they were really doing was looking out for their offspring's
welfare, but Soun and his brother had learned the truth of the matter long
ago. It was so low. If Soun ever had children, he would never try to leach
off them that way. He would truly look out for their well being and try to
set them up solely for their own good, rather than his. Of course, he needed
to settle down before he could have children. And to do that, he would need
a good woman whom he loved, and who loved him in return.
But this worked much better.
Michiru opened the folder and pulled out the picture, sliding it across the
table and turning it so it was pointed correctly in Soun's direction. The
photo was a close up of the face of a teenager, probably around Soun's age,
with curly brown hair. She was pretty, rather than beautiful, even with the
dour expression she wore. Easy on the eyes, but not the sort that if he had
walked past her, he would have taken a second glance. The photograph ended
right above the chest area, and he could tell she wore a formal, if somewhat
sedate, kimono. Besides that, there was nothing notable about the girl, nor
did he recognize her.
Nice difference in tone between this Soun and the later Soun.
"Money? Where did you get it?"
"From that job I had as a towel boy at the 'Blue Oyster Bathhouse' last
year."
"The gay bathhouse?!"
The use of 'that job' suggests that Genma already knows about it. So
his surprise or shock seems out of place.
Soun was taken aback by the look of amusement on her features. She wore a
smile that was closer to a sneer with the way her lip curled. And in her
eyes, an emotion he had never seen before, at least from her. It took him a
moment to recognize it as contempt.
Minato laughed. Laughed at him. "Oh lord, I should have seen this one
coming."
Minato's emotions towards Soun seem a little out of place with her
initial appearance. On the other hand, she could just be a character
with actual depth :-), and/or this is a manifestation of the
unreliable narrator (Soun, who is going to be very sensitive right now
to being laughed at).
The rest of this is consistent with Soun imagining the contempt being
directed at him.
"A... miscommunication," Soun repeated, still not quite believing his ears.
"Yeah, that's for the best," she repeated.. "Look, I'm sorry to cut things
short, but you got to get out of here."
she repeated.
Still in shock, Soun stared at her mutely.
"I got to work."
"It's Tuesday," he said, his voice as emotionless as though he was reading
lines from a script.
She hesitated a moment before explaining, "I'm making an exception today for
an out-of-towner that's come by for a couple of days. I'm going to take
Friday off instead. Now you go on, get out of here," she insisted as she
grabbed him by the hand and tugged him toward the door.
And here she's lying, yes? (On the theory that she's been sitting in
her chair drinking sake for some time now, rather than entertaining
someone).
As Soun started down the stairs, there was a loud noise behind him,
originating from Minato's apartment. It sounded like glass breaking as it
was hurled against something hard. For a moment, Soun instinctively turned
to investigate, but then he stopped. Minato had made her feelings clear. She
felt nothing for him, and wanted him out of her life. And he lacked the
heart to see her again. It would break him as surely as falling off Mount
Fuji would. He just knew it.
And so he left the building, leaving the first true love of his life behind
forever.
What about Yukari? ;-)
All in all, an interesting serious moment. This adds a lot of
background to the characters, which background I think would be hard
to have integrated into one of the more normal chapters.
I look forward to the next part