[FFML] [fanfic][rewrite][ranma]Thyself Known Ch.6: Fetching

There were a few fairly major changes I made; so I thought I'd post the revision. The changes occur mostly about three fourths through the chapter before the second bit in Ukyo pov, and in the neko-nabiki section.

Thanks for your help,

-W.B.R.

Fic should follow (hopefully without formatting errors)

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Thyself Known
Ch. 6: Fetching
By Zorknot

DISCLAIMER:
There once was a boy from Jusenkyo
Owned by Takahashi Rumiko.
He changed sex with cold water
Changed back with hotter
Y no se si es chica o chico.

WHAT HAS COME BEFORE: Nabiki and Ranma have fallen
for each other after a mind meld saved Nabiki's life.
In other news, Shampoo renounced her Amazon-hood and
enlisted Ukyo's aid in carrying out revenge on
Cologne for making her an unwilling sex kitten.
Meanwhile Akane is coming to terms with the idea that
she may have acted a teensy bit like a psychotic
uber-bitch earlier, and is wondering if maybe Ranma
might not want to be her fianc� anymore. She wishes
things were different, but she can't think of any way
to fix the situation. Well, Miss Tendo, say goodbye
to the status quo...

~~~~~[BEGIN]~~~~~

"The saris go by me from the embassies.

Cloth from the moon. Cloth from another planet.
They look back at the leopard like the leopard.

And I...
This print of mine, that has kept its color
Alive through so many cleanings; this dull null...

You know what I was,
You see what I am: change me, change me!"

-Randall Jarell Fr. "The Woman at the Washington Zoo"

~~~~~*~~~~~

Tendo Akane walked slowly away from Furinkan High.
It was a wonderful day. The sky was deep blue with
wispy clouds that almost weren't there, birds soared
majestically over head, and the sun sparkled prettily
off of the broken glass underneath the gaping hole in
Hinako-sensei's English class.

Akane couldn't enjoy the view though. As usual, she
was thinking about Ranma.

Was this what love was? Constantly thinking about
someone all day, every day? Having all emotion
dedicated to the actions of one solitary human being?
Wanting to beat that person to a pulp one second, and
then wanting to be one with him forever the next?

A light zephyr of fresh air blew through her blue
school uniform and rustled the sunny tree limbs above
her. A curled up, brown fist of a leaf that had
escaped half a year's worth of raking, Neriman
weather, and general decay, skittered toward Akane on
the street, blown by the wind. Akane's eyes riveted
themselves to it as she passed, even as they misted
over.

There was a time when Akane was on top of
everything, when she knew exactly who she was and
what she was doing. Sure, she had problems, but she
could handle them, and maybe eventually solve them...
Then there was Ranma, and then there was his mother,
and now... Ranma would be at Tofu's clinic. He had
after all saved Nabiki's life. Akane would have to
apologize...only she wasn't sure she could.

Akane's hands tightened around the brown handle of
her bookbag. She took in a dry, empty breath, and
continued walking, no longer exactly sure of where
she was going.

And so it was that Akane was nearly run over by
Ryoga as he ran down the street at a break neck speed.
He skidded to a halt in front of Akane. A nervous
smile was already on his face and his hand already
behind his bandanna clad head when the dust cleared.
"Akane-san! W...what are you doing in Okinawa?"

"This is Tokyo, Ryoga," she informed the lost boy
while wiping the moisture from her eyes.

"It is? I could have sworn...I mean...I knew that!
I was just...making a joke! Heh heh." Ryoga looked
off at nothing as he said this, his face growing
redder by the second. Now he turned his head back
toward Akane and lowered his hand. He frowned. "You
were crying...What did that bastard Ranma do to you
now? I'll kill him! I'll pound him so far into the
dirt his feet will be kicking in Times Square! Or
rather... they won't be... because he'll be dead!"

"Thanks, Ryoga, but it's not really his fault this
time. It's mine. I just feel so...it's nothing."
Akane sighed and tried to smile.

"It can't be your fault! Did he say it was your
fault? He's wrong! He's telling you lies, Akane-san!
Don't listen to him!" Ryoga shook his fist in anger.

Truth be known, Akane was a little afraid of Ryoga.
Razor sharp belts whizzing through her hair, barely
missing her neck, attempts at hugs that crushed
concrete pillars, and his various maniacal obsessions
just made Akane a little uneasy around him. But the
main reason she was afraid of Ryoga was that, looking
into his angry golden brown eyes, every now and then
Akane got the queasy sensation that she was looking
at a distorted reflection of herself.

"Why do you fight with Ranma so much?" Akane asked
suddenly.

Ryoga was taken aback for a moment but soon
recovered. "Because of him, I've seen Hell! He keeps
running away and tricking me instead of fighting like
a man! Plus, he mistreats you all the time! I will
destroy his happiness if it's the last thing I do!"

"What do you mean you've seen Hell? You say that
all the time, and it seems like something important,
but you never say what it is..."

Ryoga's face was now somber and his eyes lost a
little of their fire. "You wouldn't understand,
Akane-san. There's no way you could know the tortures
he put me through."

"What tortures? It can't just be the bread, can
it?"

"IT'S NOT ABOUT THE BREAD! Don't LISTEN to him
Akane! You've never been to an all boy's school. You
can't know what it's like. Maybe if you were a
martial artist..."

"I AM A MARTIAL ARTIST!" Akane fumed.

"Um...right! Of course you are! I meant... if you
were a martial artist GUY. Yeah. If you were a
martial artist AND a guy you would understand...er
gotta go, bye!" Ryoga smiled nervously and ran off in
the direction he came, yelling "Just you wait, Ranma!
Today you meet your doom!"

Akane felt sick. She could stop Ryoga, keep him
from fighting Ranma, but then again she couldn't.
Some part of her wanted Ryoga to beat Ranma to a pulp.
Some part of her wished she could do it herself. But
she would get just as much pleasure from nursing
Ranma back to health, mending his wounds, feeding
him...only she couldn't do any of that. She couldn't
cook, and bandages in general were recondite to her.

What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she do
anything? Why was she so clumsy? It shouldn't be so
hard to learn how to swim, or sew, or cook, and Ranma
made it all look so damned easy...

Ranma. It all came back to him.

Akane kicked a stone idly as she walked. Her eyes
wandered to her bookbag, wherein a letter rested
amidst well-worn books and folders. A letter she must
not let anyone see. The assistant principal had
something else to say to Akane after she got the
phone call... Her grades were dropping through the
floor.

Before Ranma had come to Nerima, Akane had been an
honor student. She had never gotten lower than a "B"
in anything. Now...she was doing okay in History, but
she was failing everything else. She was just too
distracted.

Was this love? Because if it was, Akane wanted out.

Only she didn't.

It was all so frustrating. Akane needed to get home
and smash a few bricks with her fists. That would
make her feel better.

Only it wouldn't.

She came upon an abandoned lot that wasn't quite as
abandoned as it usually was. Through the chain link
fence, Akane could see Shampoo and Ukyo sitting in
the shade of a cherry tree, talking animatedly about
something.

Akane entertained the brief fantasy that they were
both declaring their lesbian love for one another and
would from now on leave Akane to her Ranma troubles
in peace. Unfortunately, it was far more likely that
the two were planning something.

Akane shrugged. She desperately needed a
distraction from her thoughts, even if the
distraction was the two prettier and more talented
rivals for Ranma's affection. She bound over the
fence and slipped a bit in the mud as she landed,
waving her arms around to keep balance.

"Damn, Sugar, I'm surprised you cleared the fence!"
Ukyo quipped. She and Shampoo had just been talking
about how wrong for Ranma Akane was, something they
had always been in agreement on, when the girl had
stumbled into their midst.

"Shut up, Ukyo. I have enough problems without your
insults on top of it all. So why don't you tell me
just what you two have planned?"

Ukyo showed her hands, "It's kind of Shampoo's
business, Sugar. It really doesn't concern you."

"DOESN'T CONCERN ME?" Akane yelled, "He's MY fianc�
dammit!" Akane winced immediately afterwards. She had,
for the umpteenth time, cancelled the engagement that
very morning.

"This isn't about Ranchan, Akane. When are you
going to learn to listen? It's Shampoo's business.
Besides he's my fianc� too you know..."

"Ukyo, stop." Shampoo put a hand on Ukyo's shoulder.
"Is Akane's business too."

"What do you mean?"

"Akane affected by Amazon technique. For almost
year now."

"What?" Akane said.

"Sai Fang Heng Gow." Shampoo explained.

"Oh." Akane nodded. "Huh?"

"Shampoo� Honey, you're not making things much
clearer here," Ukyo noted.

"Shampoo use Sai Fang Heng Gow on Akane. Make Akane
forget Ranma," Shampoo said motioning toward her
temple.

"You mean that Shiatsu attack! You know I've been
to several salons since then, and I've never been
able to recreate that refreshed feeling."

Shampoo smiled proudly "Shampoo give too too good
brainwashing. No other compare."

"Wait a minute here," Ukyo held up her hands "you
mean you can brainwash people?"

Shampoo nodded, "Is true. Though need special
shampoo to do."

"Why aren't you married to Ranma right now then?"
Ukyo knew that if SHE could brainwash people
she'd...she'd what? Manipulate Ranma's mind so that
he'd love her? Give Akane and Shampoo a lobotomy?
Ukyo shook her head. She couldn't do that. Not to
Ranma, probably not to anybody. But she had thought
of it...when had she gotten this desperate?

Shampoo was silent for a while. "Ranma like Akane.
I know this from when give kiss of marriage. Ranma
let violent girl hit. Ranma not like it when make
Akane forget him. Ranma not Ranma if change mind.
Shampoo hand tied."

"Quit talking as if I'm not here!" Akane demanded.

Shampoo turned to Akane with half-lidded eyes. "I
no like you. You is not warrior, you is small child
in body of womans what play with Art." She looked
away, "I forget sometime it not all you fault."

Akane raised her fist. "Look who's talking, you
Chinese bimbo!"

Ukyo marveled at how thoroughly Akane illustrated
Shampoo's point for a moment before returning her
attention to Shampoo. "Just what are you saying,
Shampoo?"

"Sai Fang Heng Gow what erase memory, but must have
formula 110 shampoo to make last for longer than few
minute. It freeze brain, keep from changing too
much." Shampoo took in a breath and then let it out.
"Keep Akane from learning new skill."

A wind picked up, waving the wispy yellow-green
grass of the lot. A leaf tumbled across the ground
between the three girls. Akane felt a chill.

Ukyo blinked her eyes in understanding. "So...all
this time...Akane not being able to learn any new
techniques, or how to swim, or cook..."

"I can cook curry pretty well now, thank you very
much!"

"...or listen," Ukyo continued, "it's all from this
technique you performed on her almost a year ago?"

Shampoo shook her head. "Not from technique, from
formula 110 shampoo. One dose just enough to keep
brain frozen until Sai Fang Heng Gow become permanent,
but Akane receive second dose..."

"Ranma...he washed my hair with the same formula of
shampoo!" Akane remembered. "He tried to cure me but
made things even worse! And all to satisfy his ego!
All because he couldn't handle me not remembering
him!"

"Listen, Jackass, Ranma couldn't have known it
would do that to you! Ranma isn't to blame for every
thing that happens to you! I would think you would
have learned that...by...now." Ukyo deflated a little.
"Oh."

Shampoo nodded. "Is all Shampoo fault."

"Well it was your fault too, Sugar. Let's not
forget that," Ukyo pointed out.

"That what I say! Is all Shampoo fault!"

Ukyo frowned for moment then hit her palm with her
fist. "You want to say �it's all MY fault!'"

"But how could it have been your fault, Ukyo? You
weren't even there." Akane asked.

Ukyo buried her forehead in her palm.

"Is all...my...fault" Shampoo repeated. "I know
what shampoo do, and still almost use again on Akane
before Ranma punch to beat. Akane probably get better
at curry because is skill she know before. Just
improve on. But no can learn new food she never make
before."

Akane thought back. Just before that day when she
challenged Shampoo, she had given up on Tofu, trained
in Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics, had been getting
A's in Algebra and Biology, and was maybe possibly
just starting to think of Ranma as more than a
strange sort of friend while at the same time getting
annoyed that he didn't protest Shampoo's affections
more.

After Shampoo used her technique...what? Things
happened. She helped out Ranma a few times, had a few
battles, but emotionally and ability-wise she had
been in a holding pattern ever since. She had learned
no new techniques, her grades in everything that
required more than rote memorization had started to
fall, and even after Ranma proved himself hundreds of
times to her...Things between them had gotten worse,
not better. It was all a vicious circle that she
couldn't seem to break out of... "I...I thought it
was stress...I thought..."

"Wait a minute here," Ukyo said, "How is it she can
learn information like this, but not how to do
anything?"

"Brain tricky. People what have no memory of self
still know how talk. Sometime in village, someone
have brain problem. No can use part of face or body
but just fine with other parts. Sometime even get new
ability. 110 formula work on parts what make new
techniques, but must use Sai Fang Heng Gow to change
other parts."

"Why now?" Akane asked, "Why tell me now? All this
time and you wait till now to gloat! Did Ranma sleep
with you? Is that it? Did the two of you get together
after I left and have sex kitty style or something?"

"What Violent Girl know about it?" Shampoo screamed,
"She no get anything! She stupid even before Shampoo
use shampoo! Akane watch and do nothing! Akane watch
Ranma cat almost...almost..."

"What are you talking about? You two were pawing at
each other like cats in heat! How is that different
from what you normally do?"

Ukyo stepped in front of Shampoo. "Akane, Shampoo's
not an Amazon anymore. She renounced her marriage to
Ranma; that's why she told you all this. The way I
figure it, you deserve what you got. Now leave,
before I decide to reconsider my pledge not to beat
up the weak."

"What? But..."

"Leave, Akane. Maybe it's not all your fault, but I
don't care right now. Just go."

Akane stood for a moment trying to think of
something to say, but the look in Ukyo's eyes told
her that talking right now wasn't the smartest of
ideas. Besides what did she care? These were her
rivals! Resolved, Akane turned back toward the fence.

They were also her friends.

Akane slammed her open palm into on of the metal
posts of the fence. It bent inward deeply from the
blow. Letting her frustration move her now, Akane
threw her bookbag down, grabbed the links of the
fence with her hands pulling, ripping, and tearing
them apart with a series of snaps and low creaking
sounds.

Her hands bleeding now, Akane picked her bag up
again, shoved herself through the hole she had made
in the fence and walked on to Tofu's clinic as the
implications of everything she had learned percolated
in the blast furnace of her mind.

"Note to self," Ukyo muttered, staring blankly at
the hole in the fence, "Never, under any
circumstances, let Akane hit me."

Shampoo nodded. "Is very good note."

~~~~~*~~~~~

She was a girl. She stood naked in front of the
full-length mirror in Tomo Hoko's bedroom, fondling
herself. But she was not Tomo Hoko.

The person in the mirror was a normal looking
teenage girl. Not a bombshell by any means; she had
average dimensions and long hair with bangs that
partially hid a face that was just pretty enough to
be unnoticeable in a crowd, which suited her just
fine. But it wasn't her. Or was it?

She caressed her anatomy, tickling nerves on each
patch of skin that told her that she was the same as
this girl in the mirror. Is this me? Is this my body?
Are these my breasts? Are these my thighs? Is this
my... She bit her lower lip, barely stifling an
involuntary squeal of pleasure. They say beauty is
only skin deep...but isn't the skin the largest organ
in the body? Isn't how you look the main component of
who you are?

Tears passed down her cheeks even as shudders of
pleasure passed through her. She cried now even more
than earlier, in the bathroom, when she had been
slicing her arms with a razor. Not to kill. She
didn't want to die, not yet anyway. No, she needed
pain, she needed pleasure, she needed this body that
she saw reflected back at her to convince her that
she belonged here, that she could stop looking, that
here in front of her, was her true self.

But she knew that wasn't true.

She woke that morning in Tomo Hoko's bed, to the
sound of Hoko's mother knocking on the door. If she
had gotten up then or even remained silent, she would
right now be following Nabiki around or participating
in some grand scheme of hers. Instead, she had taken
a perverse pleasure in telling the woman to fuck off.

Naturally, Hoko's mother was concerned and came
through the door, and naturally, upon seeing the girl
she thought to be her daughter openly masturbating
she had become even more worried. The last straw
though, she reflected, had been when she asked Hoko's
mother if she wanted to help.

That was stupid.

Now, she was essentially under house arrest, with
her ad hoc mother concerned about how "ill" she was.
Ill indeed. She wondered idly now, as the intense
feelings she had generated washed out of her in a
sigh of ecstasy, how concerned Hoko's mother would be
if she knew that the real Tomo Hoko was stone dead,
cut into pieces and laying strewn about the city dump.

Perhaps the poor woman would have a heart attack
and save her from having to kill the bitch herself.

Focusing on her image in the mirror and blurring
out the marks on her arms with her mind, she brought
out her demon cloth from null space and passed it
over herself. When she looked in the mirror again,
the marks were gone. It wouldn't do to have herself
thrown into a mental institution for her little
weakness this morning. If she didn't already have a
goal in mind, going to a mental institution might
actually be fun, but she had to remain focused as
much as possible.

She smirked to herself. One of the perks of owning
the cursed demon cloth was that she never had to
shave, or cut her hair, or clip her toenails, or even
bathe if she didn't want to. She was a little slow in
catching on to this hidden benefit, but now she took
it for granted. Sometimes...like today...she missed
all that though.

The Migration never ends

The Migration. The fucking Ijuu. Someone else had
joined it, she could feel it like a static charge in
her brain. There was no doubt in her mind that it was
Ranma. The bastard would probably get through the
initial stages smelling like roses. He had people
that cared about him, after all, even if he was an
arrogant prick. She'd like to see what he'd do if he
had to grow up in a orphanage, spent all his time
moving from place to place without any ties to anyone,
without a single constant save himself. She'd like to
see what he'd do if even that last refuge eroded away,
leaving nothing but a shadow...a desperate, hungry
shadow...

But she'd settle for a gruesome death in a pinch.

She took a breath and calmed herself. She had to
convince Hoko's mother that she was alright and that
it was just especially painful cramps or something.
She had to be ready for Nabiki's scrutiny, and while
she could do this with enough concentration, she had
to be mellow.

First things first, she had to get dressed. She
went to the dresser and opened the top drawer. The
panties. She picked up a pair and smelled them, but
they just weren't as fulfilling laundered. Tomorrow
at school she'd be in the girls' locker room and
she'd get all the panty action she wanted there. If
she hadn't blown it this morning...

But no matter. She put on the panties and a bra she
found, taking time to leer at herself in the mirror a
bit, and then went to the closet for some outer wear.

She decided she liked being a girl. It was like she
was her own prostitute, and she didn't have to pay.
Even the masturbation was wonderful, once she got the
hang of it.

Hoko's mother was a pain. She wished she could just
kill her, but of course if she did, then she'd have
to kill Hoko's father as well, and then the people at
Mr. Tomo's business firm would wonder where he'd run
off to, and things would lead to more complicated
things. It just wasn't worth it.

She decided to go with a short skirt and dark
colored top with a jeans jacket. She put on long
black socks that went past the knee and black
sneakers. She looked in the mirror again. It seemed
okay, but as far as she knew she could be breaking
several major fashion rules. She blinked. The girl in
the mirror blinked. She liked how she looked right
now.

There was a pang as she realized she had lost
another part of herself.

"I am Copycat Ken." She asserted to her
reflection... but it felt wrong, alien now. She was
not Ken anymore. Ken would have just copied whatever
Hoko had worn before she died. Now after several
months of stalking people, of killing them, stealing
their lives and making them her own for days, even
weeks on end, she could no longer say with any
certainty whether she was male or female. "I was
Copycat Ken" she said sadly, "Now, I'm just Copycat"

Ever since that last battle with Ranma, she had
been unable to find her true form, the body she had
been born with. Ever since then, she could only be
other people, never herself. She tried to remember
what she looked like, but she had no pictures of
herself, and instead of getting closer to finding her
original form, she found it slipping further and
further away.

Copycat left the room, whereupon she was quickly
intercepted by Hoko's mother. "Just where do you
think you're going, young lady?"

Copycat smiled, "I feel much better now, Mom. I was
just...I had a weird...personal dream...and I didn't
expect you there..."

Hoko's mother nodded. "I know you're growing up,
but that's really no excuse for...Hoko, dear, that
just didn't seem like you at all. I was almost sure
you were possessed or something like in that American
movie...Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, Mom! I'm going to go to Tofu's anyway to
get a note for class tomorrow. I'm sure if there's
anything wrong he'll find it."

"Do you mind if I go with you? You really had me
worried."

"Oh okay. How do I look?"

"You look...very fetching."

Copycat laughed.

"What's funny, dear?"

"Nothing," she waved it off sobering, "just a
private joke."

"I'll just get my purse and then we can go, okay?"

"Sure" Copycat agreed. She crossed her arms and
leaned up against the wall as she waited for Hoko's
mother. She allowed herself to think optimistically
for a few moments. Four months of careful planning,
stalking, observing and she was now almost ready to
make her move on Saotome. First, though, she had to
take out his most effective defense against
her...Nabiki. The Ijuu...it would complicate things,
but no matter what, the end result would be the same.

Ranma was going to die.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"PREPARE TO DIE, RANMA!" Hibiki Ryoga ran along the
street away from Akane. She had gotten angry at him!
Angry. At him! It had to be Ranma's fault. All those
awful insults he threw at Akane every day...it must
have been rubbing off on him!

How could he say that Akane wasn't a martial
artist! She was a wonderful martial artist! Not
compared to himself or Ranma or Mousse or even Kuno
in a real no-holds-barred fight, but still better
than most. Maybe he could convince Akane to go on a
training trip with him! That way she could feel
better about her martial arts and he could have all
that time alone with her!

But...if she refused...

Akane in a yellow sun dress and white hat looks up
at Ryoga with tears in her eyes and shakes her head.
"No, Ryoga, I'm afraid I cannot go with you on a
training trip," Akane lifts the back of her hand to
her brow and looks away in anguish, "for, alas, my
heart belongs to Ranma, and I cannot bear to be apart
from him..."

Ryoga shook his head violently. No! His fragile
heart of glass could not withstand it!

Ryoga thought he heard Ranma just then.
Ranma...calling him a coward.

"NO! I am no coward, Ranma! Just you wait! Today
you meet your doom!" Ryoga ran on. He had to keep
moving. Keep his goal in mind...otherwise he'd lose
track and start to think of other things.

Why DID he fight Ranma so much?

It was a question that Ryoga himself asked from
time to time in the dark chill of night beside a
dying fire. But he already knew the answer, and
thinking about it just drove him further into the
dark depths of his insurmountable depression.

So Ryoga kept running, and concentrated solely on
that, and on his goal. He paid no heed to stray
thoughts or to the passing scenery. Nothing could
distract him from his revenge. "RANMA! PREPARE TO..."

"...shake vigorously and pour the liquid down the
throat." Dr. Tofu looked up and smiled at the young
man who had just made a rather large hole in the wall
of the examination room. "Good to see you, Ryoga, but
you know you really shouldn't disturb me when I'm
with another patient."

"Oh we don't mind, doctor. It's nice knowing that
my husband and I aren't THAT strange." Yamashita
Niburi adjusted the position of her arm underneath
her husband's small body with a smile. "Isn't that
right, my little sweetums?" she tickled her husband's
nose with her finger.

"Thtop that! Woman, I thweal..."

"Um...is Ranma here? I'm trying to kill him." Ryoga
said eying the Yamashitas. If he didn't know any
better he'd swear that the baby had just talked.

"He's in the waiting room," Tofu pointed to the
door, "Just take it outside if you could and...make
sure Ranma is wearing his earrings."

Ryoga headed for the door.

"Ryoga..."Tofu called after him.

"What!" Ryoga snapped back.

"That's the closet."

"What's Ranma doing in the closet? I thought you
said he was in the waiting room."

"I did. The waiting room is over there," Tofu
pointed again, "that door leads to the closet."

"So where's Ranma?"

"In the waiting room!"

"But you just said..."

The baby spoke up, "Ith that...the Lyoga? Hibiki
Lyoga...the famouth lotht tlavelel?"

"Huh?" Ryoga asked...the baby DID talk!

"They tell thtolies about you in Thikoku! Evely
week ol tho you letuln to The Town of the Boal with
giftth flom dithtant landth! That'th how I came
aclotht the map to the Fountain of Youth!"

"Ryoga, have you been to the Fountain of Youth?"
Tofu asked, grabbing Ryoga by the shoulders.

"Y...yeah." His eyes widened, "So that's why that
baby can talk!"

"Do you know of any cure?" Tofu asked.

"Er...have you tried hot water?"

"Hot water?"

"You know...like Jusenkyo?"

Dr. Tofu pushed his glasses up on his nose. He
turned on the hot water in the sink. When it was just
short of scalding he filled a glass and poured it on
the baby. In that instant, all of Yamashita Ichiro's
eighty-five kilos returned to him and he fell to the
ground with nothing but a bit of blanket to cover his
special purpose.

"Looking for portents in the stars, we must remain
mindful of our feet." Tofu said over the stunned man
on the floor.

"You mean all this time...ALL this time I spent as
helpless baby...and THAT'S the cure?" Ichiro stood up
shakily, barely remembering to cover himself.

"It wasn't that obvious, I mean, who would think of
throwing water that hot on an infant?" Niburi argued.

"It's not a cure...You'll be a baby again with a
splash of cold water," Ryoga noted.

"How do you know that exactly, Ryoga?" Tofu asked
chuckling. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you
fell in yourself!"

Ryoga laughed nervously and his hand found itself
on the back of his head. "Umm...where was Ranma
again?"

Niburi put a hand on Ryoga's shoulder. "I'll lead
you to her. It's the least I can do."

"Oh, so you're going off with other men, now, is
that it?" Ichiro quipped.

Niburi turned back. "Is my little Ichikins worried
I might leave him? I swear I'll be right back and we
can play a nice little game of peek-a-boo." Niburi
laughed. "You're such a baby!"

As they went through the doorway to the waiting
room, Ryoga heard Ichiro remark, "I'm never going to
live this down, am I?"

It made him smile for a moment.

Then of course he saw Ranma-chan sitting
suspiciously close to Nabiki while they played some
sort of card game with Kasumi. Genma and Soun played
shogi in the opposite corner. Ranma, that bastard!
Having fun with other women while Akane suffers...

"You're going to have to tell her some time you
know. It's just going to get worse if you don't,"
Niburi said softly.

Ryoga nodded. "I know, I've been wanting to, but
things get so complicated...Wait a minute!" Ryoga
turned toward Niburi, "How did you know about Akane?"

"Hmm?" Niburi looked up slightly, showing her
mature, delicate complexion with its slight smile,
"Akane? So sorry, I was talking about Ranma!" She
indicated the red-head with a raised open hand.

Ryoga was silent.

"Oh, it's obvious! Well, if Ranma hadn't told me
she was really a girl all along I might not have made
the connection I suppose but..."

"Ranma said that? No. Ranma's a guy. He would never
say something like that. That'd be like giving up.
And even if he were a girl I would never..."

"Right. You would never. So you just find any
excuse to be with her."

"Listen, lady, you got your signals crossed or
something. Ranma's my worst nightmare. Nothing would
make me happier than to see her...him dead."

Niburi sighed. "Fine, fine. Just trying to give
some advice. If you don't mind then, I'll just leave
you to your homicide." She smiled impishly "It's been
a while since I've seen my husband all grow'd up."

Ryoga stood unmoving for a moment after Niburi went
back into the office, looking at the girls and Ranma.
He couldn't just threaten to kill Ranma again, not
after what Niburi said. It'd be like proving her
right...

Ranma-chan laughed, and damned if it didn't happen
in slow motion... with sparkles.

Ryoga squeezed his eyes shut against the image, but
even as he did so, he wasn't sure if he was trying to
keep it out, or tying to keep it in. Ryoga could feel
it sure as anything...he was about to spend a long
time on the road.

When he opened his eyes, though, he had to say
something..."Ranma, how dare you go out with Nabiki
behind Akane's back!"

Ranma turned her head slowly in Ryoga's direction.
"Howdy, Oinkster! Good of you to join us! Say, you're
a guy right?" Ranma picked up a card that Kasumi had
just shown her and Nabiki and asked, "Tell me, what
does this look like to you?"

"A Rorschach inkblot," Ryoga answered in spite of
himself.

"Yeah, I know that. Why do you think we're messing
with them? So... what do you see?"

Ryoga found himself studying the mirror image on
the card. It was random and splotchy, of course, but
there was something about it. Thin on either end,
wide closer the center and then thin again where the
fold would be, it looked disturbingly like... "A mask.
Like a one of those cheap plastic Halloween things."

"Oh come on! It's a bra! Look there are the
straps..."

Ryoga's eyes shifted to Nabiki's amused and smug
expression and then back to Ranma.

"Okay...maybe I'm a little worried about Mom coming,
okay? I could have told you that."

"Ranma-chan's right, Nabiki. That could be what it
is. The inkblots are not precise. The things you see
in them are like the symbols in a dream. Sometimes
their meaning is quite literal, as would be the case
if Ranma is only worried about having to wear a bra.
Other times though, they can be much larger. Nabiki,
how would you feel if Ranma was never a man again?"

"It really wouldn't bother me," Nabiki replied
seriously. "I always kind of liked Ranma as a girl
anyway." Nabiki turned to Ranma now, "I know, I know,
but I have to say it. You seem freer somehow. More
yourself. Except when your mother's around of
course."

"Well, I guess I am pretty well built..." Ranma
said pushing out her breasts.

"And that right there proves you'll always be a man
inside," Nabiki smirked. "Hey, Kasumi, is it just me
or is Ranma bigger?"

"Oh my, Ranma-chan's growing up!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Let me check..." Nabiki grabbed Ranma's breast.

"HEY!"

"Yep, definitely bigger than last time." Nabiki
nodded officially.

"Let's see how big YOU are..." Ranma-chan
threatened and grabbed a hand full of Nabiki.

Ryoga couldn't take it anymore. "Ranma! What do you
think you're doing?"

Ranma, out of reflex, immediately brought her hand
back to her side. "What are ya talking about?"

"Akane's your fianc�e!"

"Actually, I'm his fianc�e now," Nabiki informed.

"What do you mean?"

Ranma turned to Ryoga. "Look, Pigface, Akane broke
it off again this morning, and a lot of things
happened since then, alright? It's not the first time
it's happened; let's just hope it's the last. I would
think you'd be happy anyway."

"What about your honor, Ranma?"

"Hey, Nabiki's a Tendo too, you know, and Shampoo
and Ukyo both have valid claims to boot. Why are you
getting so worked up over this?"

"I'm not talking about your stupid engagement! I'm
talking about Akane's feelings! She deserves to be
told...instead you're...groping Nabiki without her
knowing!"

"Hmmm...now why does this sound familiar? Oh yeah!
You've been copping free feels from Akane without
letting her know! Listen, man, right now, I don't
even want to think about her, and I don't think I
could stand living with her for the rest of my life.
She's free, no strings attached. Get her while she's
hot."

Ryoga felt the depression building. The depression
that would never go away, that was always there,
waiting for him, whenever he dared think clearly. If
Akane wasn't Ranma's fianc�e, then he wouldn't have
an excuse to...to... "I won't allow it. I can't!
I..."

A splash of cold water shocked Ryoga and turned him
into a piglet. He watched with surprise as Kasumi
gently placed the empty fire bucket to her side.
"Forgive me, Ryoga-kun," she bowed, "but you were
disturbing our harmony."

"Hey I just thought of something..." Ranma said,
"If my female side is growing, how come Ryoga's pig
form hasn't gotten bigger or anything?"

"Maybe his curse is special... or maybe he fell in
a different spring and the curses mixed?" Nabiki
shrugged.

"Yeah...I'll have to ask him when I get the
chance."

Ryoga in pig form turned and clicked away from Ranma
and the others. It was so easy for Ranma. Always so
easy. In junior high, it had taken months for Ryoga
to establish himself as the top martial artist. It
had taken Ranma a day to take it away, making Ryoga
once again just a "stupid lost boy." Ryoga challenged
Ranma again and again, but each time Ranma would win.
Ryoga became a joke. He lost all of the friends he
had made. He got lost more and more often. Everyday
Ryoga would see Ranma laughing with friends that were
once his, succeeding in all the areas where he had
failed. It was Hell. Pure and simple. And Ranma was
an undefeatable guardian of paradise...of the bread,
of the respect, of Akane...Everything that Ryoga
wanted, Ranma would already have. But now Akane was
free. Now Ryoga could see her without guilt...and for
some reason he wasn't at all happy. For some reason,
he was even more depressed.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Two and a half centimeters. That was all.

No divine hand. No chivalrous knight. No moat
teaming with fantastic and terrible monsters. Just
two and a half centimeters. That was all that
protected Tendo Akane from Ranma's words as they
stabbed unerringly into her heart.

Then again if the door had been a little thicker,
maybe Akane would have gone inside. Maybe she would
have seen first hand what she had heard. That would
have been worse.

There were a lot of ifs. If she had helped Ranma
out of the Nekoken, if she had kept him away from
Shampoo, if she hadn't been so cruel to him that
morning, if his mother hadn't shown up when she did,
if Shampoo hadn't used her shampoo to begin with...if,
if, if, if. It made no difference.

Nabiki was fine, even if she was in danger of dying.
As long as Nabiki didn't come near her, Akane
wouldn't kill her. Akane felt her mallet hand itching,
and it took everything she had not to go through the
door and swing away at Ranma. She knew he wasn't hers
anymore, maybe never was, but she just couldn't grasp
the meaning of that. It was another unknown variable
in the indecipherable math equation that was her life.

Then there was Ryoga. P-chan. Try as she might, she
could not think of the two entities as being the same
person, even with this direct evidence. And how many
times had Ranma tried to tell her, even before
Shampoo's formula 110? Shampoo was right. She had
been stupid even before. But she needed P-chan,
needed someone to talk to, someone she could trust.
Even now, if P-chan came to her, she would hold him
and cry and tell him everything just like before,
even knowing what she knew, because she could not
think of hurting the poor creature. She wished he
would come out. She was so lost...

As if summoned by her thoughts, P-chan jumped out of
a window and landed beside her. "Come here, P-chan,
I...I need you right now."

P-chan hesitated, then went to her.

Akane crouched and grabbed the pig, cradling him in
her arms. She thought of entering the clinic, but it
didn't seem like a good idea. If she went inside, she
would do something she would regret. Whether it was
hurt someone she loved, or simply break down. So
Akane gathered up P-chan and her distended emotions
and turned away slowly from the door of the clinic.

Just then, she saw Nabiki's friend Hoko walking
with her mother toward the clinic. Caught between not
wanting to seem rude and walk away and not wanting to
talk to anyone, Akane wavered at the door until Hoko
was there. "Good afternoon, Hoko-senpai," Akane
greeted in a subdued tone with a small bow. "Tomo-
san" Akane bowed deeper to Hoko's mother.

"Hey, Akane-chan! What are you doing here?" Hoko
asked.

"I...um...I was just leaving. It's been a bad
day...I'd rather not talk about it." Akane bowed
again, trying to smile and only managing a grimace.
She moved to go, but then Hoko grabbed her forcibly
by the shoulder, surprising her, and causing P-chan
to bwee in alarm.

She found herself looking into the older girl's
dark brown eyes. They were fierce,
challenging...compassionate. Hoko smiled. "It's going
to be okay, Akane-chan. It's all going to be okay."

Akane nodded hesitantly. When Hoko released her
shoulder, she left without any other words. She
walked briskly from the clinic, needing to get away.

For some reason, what Hoko said gave her the creeps.

"Great," Akane muttered, "I already felt angry,
confused, and depressed...now I'm scared on top of
that." Akane looked at the pig in her arms, looking
up at her with a concerned expression. There was no
way that the little pig could be the same as Ranma's
violent martial arts rival that demolished city
blocks on accident... Akane needed to think, she was
all jumbled up inside. Luckily there was one place
she could go. "Come on, P-chan. I need ice cream."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Copycat was surprised to find the clinic so crowded.
When she saw Ranma she stopped stock still. It took
all she had not to pull out a tanto from null-space
and slay the bastard then and there. But that would
be too fair. Ranma would win in a fair fight.

"Hoko-chan?" Hoko's mother asked, "Is something
wrong?"

"Nothing, Mom, just had a strange thought..."

"It wasn't...personal...was it?"

"Mom!" Copycat laughed. It was easy to pretend to
be Tomo's child. She had plenty of practice
pretending to be other people's children after all.
First in foster families, then with the families of
the people she killed. Every time trying to make it
work, but knowing that it wouldn't. In a way, she did
love Tomo. In the end, it didn't matter. She'd still
have to leave her eventually...if she didn't kill her.

Nabiki got up from her seat. "Hoko! You're
alright?"

Copycat nodded, "That's what I keep telling Mom,
but she won't believe me."

Nabiki frowned and seemed a little distracted as
she said "Well...you know how parents can be..."

A thirty-ish woman, attractive, yet dressed so
conservatively she seemed older at first glance, left
Tofu's office, her arm around that of a well-built
man in a brown gi (probably Tofu's) with short burnt
umber hair that spiked and curled wildly about the
top of his head. Copycat got the impression that they
had gotten together primarily because she liked to
clean messes and he liked to make them. The two
either had trouble finding time together, or one of
them was impotent, because the woman didn't have the
look of a mother, rather she had the slightly weary,
hopeful look of someone worried she might never
become one. Copycat was quite familiar with the type.

The woman introduced the man to Nabiki and Nabiki
bowed and thanked her. Apparently the couple was
Yamashita Niburi and Ichiro, and apparently the woman,
Niburi, had somehow helped save Nabiki's life. Then
Nabiki introduced Copycat as Tomo Hoko and she
greeted and thanked them. Copycat was genuinely
thankful that Niburi had saved the life of her "best
friend," If she hadn't, Copycat would not be able to
kill her.

Nabiki's powers of perception were perhaps even
greater than Copycat's, even without the surveillance
equipment with which the girl had a near symbiotic
relationship. Copycat had chosen her first victim,
Buntaro, based on the idea that no one knew who he
was, that no one cared about him. After the second
day at school, Nabiki approached Copycat and wanted
to know what was going on, why Buntaro was acting so
differently. Copycat said that it was trouble at home,
the same excuse she had offered case workers years
before she had joined the Ijuu and the oni offered
her the demon cloth and the camera that could allow
her to copy any ability.

Nabiki offered Buntaro a job.

When they found Buntaro's body, as Copycat hadn't
yet hit upon the idea that merely burying a corpse
was not enough, Copycat had to find someone else. It
must have seemed strange to the police that the body
was a week dead, while Buntaro was last seen the day
before, but there was nothing in the paper about it.
By chance Copycat had been using another form at the
time, that of a male cop she observed earlier asleep
on some sort of stake out, to do some spying on Ranma,
otherwise she might have been found out. Aside from
Buntaro's destitute mother, Nabiki was the only one
at the funeral. Copycat had shown up as Generic
Overworked Cop and asked Nabiki what her relationship
was to the deceased.

"Potential friend," Nabiki had said simply.

Potential friend.

It was then that Copycat knew that she'd have to
kill Nabiki before she'd be able to get near Ranma.

Copycat smiled and said, "I guess I might as well
get this check up over with." Tofu had since come out
of the office and he and Hoko's mother exchanged some
mindless pleasantries, before Tofu invited her and
Copycat into his office, apologizing for the state of
the room.

Copycat wasn't worried about being found out. The
demon cloth made Copycat a perfect copy of Hoko's
body, including basic ki flow patterns. After a
period of time, Copycat's own distinct ki pattern
would start to become more visible, but by that time
it would be attributed to changes in lifestyle.

Hoko's mother explained how she was worried her
daughter might have been possessed by something, but
she was sure it was nothing now and was sorry to take
up Dr. Tofu's time.

Tofu simply nodded and examined Copycat, prodding
certain spots and seeming to gaze through her.

The problem with simply walking up to Ranma and
slitting his throat when he least suspected it was
that Ranma seemed to suspect it all the time. Ranma
could detect things, dodge things, and anticipate
things to the point where it was uncanny. Copycat had
once, in the form of Ryoga, tried to kill Ranma in
his sleep, only to have every attempt thwarted by a
dodge. Copycat was almost certain Ranma had some kind
of latent precognitive ability.

Ranma had his weaknesses, but he also had an
annoying tendency to let everyone know what he was
doing. Even if he could be goaded into a trap, it
wouldn't matter because he'd say "Uh oh! Looks like
I'm walking into a trap!" and his allies would
eventually find out and rescue him.

Copycat had no allies.

In order to defeat Ranma, she had to rectify that
situation. It was a long, arduous task to make new
associations, she knew this from experience. Nabiki
already had allies, it would be far easier to just
steal hers.

Tofu said that he could see nothing abnormal in the
ki flow patterns and started with the physical check
up. He asked Copycat to turn her head and cough. She
did.

Copycat's next victim had been a Japanese Language
teacher. A single, middle-aged woman named Tanaka
Kimiko. This time, Copycat was extra careful to get
the personality down. She found the camera that stole
abilities worked for personalities as well and it was
fairly easy to fool the woman's students. It was
considerably harder to stab the woman repeatedly with
a tanto, stuff her in the trunk of her own car, drive
some three hours into the countryside where no one
was around, saw her up into segments and throw them
into separate dumpsters as she traveled back to Tokyo.

Copycat used her position as one of Nabiki's
teachers to try to get some information on the girl.
The thing was, Nabiki really didn't have any enemies.
Many people did not particularly like her, but almost
everyone Copycat overheard in the halls regarded her
with a respect that bordered on worship. Once, while
Copycat sat in the school office, Nabiki came in to
see the assistant principal. Copycat listened in.
Nabiki was saying that there ought to be a school
wide martial arts tournament to raise money for the
repairs to the gym that Ranma had damaged in his
fight with Hinako-sensei.

The tournament was held two weeks later.

Nabiki was not infallible. She hadn't suspected
anything of Copycat as she taught in the guise of
Tanaka Kimiko, and while she got impeccable grades,
Nabiki still made mistakes. She still mistook one
complex kanji for another or turned papers in late
same as anybody else. There was the occasional
student who claimed to have won a heap of money off
Nabiki in the betting pool. And the tournament had of
course been a complete disaster. But the girl knew
things. She got things done. And she was fair.

The only possible chinks in her armor were her two
closest friends, Inamura Yuki and Tomo Hoko. Yuki was
extremely popular. She was friends with Nabiki in a
large part because Nabiki kept Kuno from realizing
that fact. Yuki had many friends aside from Nabiki
and furthermore, her father was a police detective;
so she wouldn't work for Copycat's purposes.

Hoko, on the other hand, was a loner. A nondescript
wall flower who worked for the school newspaper and
wrote ho hum articles about things people already
knew with pictures that everyone had already seen.
She wasn't an outcast or anything; she just kept to
herself and didn't make any waves. She was perfect.
But if Copycat was going to get so close to Nabiki,
she had to make sure she had Hoko down perfectly.
Luckily, there was one pathetic kid who no one really
liked and who had almost every class with the girl.

So Copycat made as if she were retiring from
teaching and moving to far away lands, and then set
about killing Gosunkugi Hikari.

"I don't see anything wrong, Tomo-san. Your
daughter is just a perfectly normal, healthy, teenage
girl."

Copycat got up off the examination table as Tofu
had Hoko's mother sign some papers so he could get
paid from the insurance company. Then he walked her
and Copycat out of the office, whereupon he and
Hoko's mother exchanged a few more mindless
pleasantries, which Copycat tuned out, until Tofu
turned to her smiling and saying "...and you, young
lady. You make sure not to kill your mother in her
sleep okay?"

"Um...right..." Copycat replied. She glanced at
Tomo's pained expression and was grateful that she
hadn't been the only one who thought Tofu's comment
unfunny. She wondered just how much Tofu was hiding.
He had the stink of Ijuu, but he behaved so
innocuously... Maybe his remark was just an attempt
at humor, but if it was, then perhaps Ranma wasn't
the only one with latent precognitive abilities.

Just then Ukyo and Shampoo came in hesitantly from
outside. From their body language, Copycat figured
they had somehow put aside differences and were now
friends. Ukyo seemed almost protective of Shampoo, so
Copycat guessed something had happened to the Amazon
and Ukyo had consoled her. Shampoo's hair was cut as
if by a knife, which meant she had either left the
Amazons, or she had an unfortunate run in with Ryoga.

Copycat's eyebrow went up with interest at this
turn of events.

When Ranma turned to see Shampoo she turned into a
he and jumped...no... pounced on top of her, making a
horrible rowrling...

"Ranchan! What the HELL?" Ukyo screamed

Shampoo screamed too but it wasn't quite a scream
or even human sound.

Nabiki got up out of her seat on the couch, her jaw
open eyes blinking.

Genma jumped up and flattened himself against the
wall while Soun just sat stunned.

Kasumi ran to Tofu's side and looked worriedly up
at him, but all he could manage in response to the
situation was a visible gulp.

Ranma tore through Shampoo's cheongsam with
invisible claws. One breast and upper thigh of the
Chinese girl now showed. It was making Copycat
excited and she started breathing exercises so she
could enjoy the view without revealing herself.

Shampoo whirled around and faced Ranma on all fours.
She hissed and it was a cat sound only larger, louder.
That same sound that made a small furry creature a
source of fear now made this buxom girl from China
positively terrifying.

Ranma was not dissuaded. He attempted to circle
around Shampoo, but the girl shuffled to face him.
Nabiki moved closer to Ranma holding a hand out
hesitantly. "Ranma...she...she doesn't want to mate
with you."

Ranma whipped around. "What would you know of it,
HUMAN?" Ranma turned back toward Shampoo but she was
gone through the door, which she ripped apart in her
escape. Without a second thought, Ranma bounded after
her followed by Ukyo... and Nabiki.

Copycat wanted to applaud. Instead, she looked up
at Hoko's mother and lied, "Mom, is it all right if
you go home without me? I'm going to see if I can
help Nabiki." Not waiting for the Tomo woman to
respond, Copycat ran out and, when she was sure no
one could see her, jumped onto the roof of a nearby
building and continued after the three girls and
Ranma.

She considered the possibility of being seen. Most
people didn't know Hoko, but if Nabiki found out, she
would have questions. On the other hand, Nabiki
seemed rather preoccupied and was unlikely to be
looking above her. The alternative was to use the
demon cloth to change forms, but the only form she
knew that would make sense would be Mousse and he was
probably at the Nekohanten, which might cause some
question-raising if there were reports of him being
in two places at once. Also, in order to change back
to Hoko, she would have to study a photo of her, as
she had only changed into her once. Finally, if worse
came to worse Copycat could always invent secret
martial arts training for Hoko. So Hoko she would
remain. She bounded over a gap between roofs. She was
catching up to Nabiki and Ukyo but the "cats" were
still far ahead.

She brought her camera out of null space and put
her head through the strap, still holding on to it
with her right hand as she ran to keep it from
banging all over the place. She would get to Ranma
eventually. The Nekoken was one of Ranma's most
powerful techniques and soon, it would be hers.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Akane asked for hot tea with her parfait. As soon as
she had, P-chan started squirming. He must be
uncomfortable Akane surmised, and adjusted her hold
on the piglet. After she had her ice cream she would
see the transformation first hand. Right now she
wasn't ready for another blast to her worldview.

She sat down at a booth next to the window. Across
the street she could see the Hot Dog and Coffee, a
neat little caf� owned by a gaijin. She saw the owner
walk out of the building and lean on the wall,
lighting up a cigarette.

Akane took a spoonful of ice cream and put it in her
mouth, watching the man. "I wonder what his story
is." Akane muttered. "Did he ever love anybody? Does
he know what it's like? Knowing that the one you love
will never love you, but not being able to change?
Not being able to learn how to cope with it?" Akane
looked down at P-chan, "And you... I know you're
Ryoga. But...I just can't picture it. It just doesn't
seem right somehow."

P-chan bweed in astonishment.

Akane smiled, "I guess you want some ice cream too
huh? Okay here you go!" Akane spoon-fed P-chan.
"It's funny. You've been sleeping with me for months
now. If I thought for one second you were really
Ryoga I'd probably be eating a ham sandwich right now.
But that's just it. I know you're Ryoga...but all I
can see is P-chan. It's all so confusing!" Akane's
fist clenched. "What did I do to deserve this?
Honestly!" She took several spoonfuls of parfait in
quick succession.

She took a slower bite pensively as a knot grew in
her throat. "There I go again. Typhoon Akane. Let me
just get angry at things, that will make them better!
DAMMIT!" She slammed her fist on the table, startling
some of the other customers. "I can't help it though!
It's that shampoo. Shampoo's shampoo! It's all that
bimbo's fault, no...it's all RANMA'S fault!"

P-chan bweed in sympathetic anger.

"Another spoonful? Okay." Akane fed the pig again.
"Why can't I stop? Ranma didn't know about the side
affects of a double dose of that stuff...But...arghh!
It has to be the shampoo again! I can't even get it
through my head that I've got a problem huh?
Honestly! You aren't even a real pig!" Impulsively
Akane grabbed her Styrofoam cup of tea and splashed
it on P-chan, feeling silly even as she did it.

Suddenly she had a very nude Ryoga sitting in her lap.
"PERVERT!" Akane yelled and malleted Ryoga into the
ceiling, which he bounced off of, landing rather
harshly on the thin padding of the booth seat.

"Ow," Ryoga said simply.

"I'm sorry Ryoga! I should have known you wouldn't
have any clothes!"

"It's okay," Ryoga muttered nevously. When he sat up
again he was clothed in his usual attire and he had
his hand back behind his head. "I learned a few
things from Mousse."

Akane nodded still a little stunned. "You're...you're
P-chan?"

"Yes." Ryoga looked seriously into Akane's eyes.
"You don't know how long I've wanted to tell you,
Akane! But Ranma always kept me from letting you
know! And it was so nice, sleeping in your bed...I
mean..."

"When were you sleeping in my BED?" Akane started to
feel her anger rising, and then took a breath. "You
mean P-chan. P-chan slept with me. Arrgh!"

"This is all Ranma's fault." Ryoga assured. "You need
to cure yourself and then get back at him somehow. I
could help you train..."

"You would do that, Ryoga? That would be great!
But...I don't think I could actually fight Ranma.
He's mean, but I still...I've got to get cured. I
want these feelings to go away." Akane looked outside
at the people entering the Hot Dog and Coffee.
"Really, if I didn't l...like Ranma...I don't think
I'd want anything to do with him."

"You mean...you wouldn't want revenge? Not at all?"

"I don't know, Ryoga. I'm just tired of it all. I've
fought Ranma for every little thing for so long...and
really it was only because he can get so close to me.
Get under my skin. It's really because I like him
that I get so angry at him. If I could stop...if I
could just realize that there is no way Ranma will
ever like me back..." Akane smiled sadly. "I probably
have about as much chance of getting Ranma to love me
as you do now."

"Wha?"

"Hmph. I guess self doubt was something I was good at
before Shampoo." Akane got up and put some coins on
the table as a tip. "I'm going home to pack. I've got
to get away. Yuka was right. You're really a nice guy,
Ryoga. Maybe once I get cured we can get together
again...If I don't beat you to a pulp." With that
Akane left Ryoga to sit at the booth alone.

Ryoga felt rather odd. He felt closer to Akane than
ever before, but why did there seem to be something
missing now? Why did Akane's proposition of getting
back together make him nervous instead of excited?
Why was Ranma chasing Shampoo on all fours outside
the window? "Ranma, that bastard! Going after Shampoo
now! That's it, I'm going to kill him!"

"I've fought Ranma for every little thing for so
long...and really it was only because he can get so
close to me. Get under my skin. It's really because I
like him that I get so angry at him."

Ryoga shuddered. Every now and then Akane gave him
the creeps. It wasn't how she was so blithely violent
all the time, or how she nearly crushed him whenever
he slept with her as P-chan, that just made him a
little nervous. No, what scared Ryoga about Akane was
that sometimes, staring into her angry brown eyes, he
felt like he was staring at a distorted image of
himself.

He shook his head. "No. Ranma's my sworn enemy. I do
NOT like her...him!"

The waitress came by to pick up the money and the
empty parfait glass. She patted Ryoga on the shoulder,
"You aren't fooling anybody, honey. Would you like
anything?"

"N...no. I'm going to leave." Nodding at his own
declaration, Ryoga got up and left the building.

Yes, it was definitely time to get lost.

~~~~~*~~~~~
Ukyo should have done something...but it all
happened so fast. She hadn't even considered the
possibility that Ranma was at the clinic. She just
thought Tofu could help Shampoo somehow. That maybe
there was a pressure point that diminished sexuality
or something. And when it happened...Ukyo had
believed Shampoo, but it hadn't been real to her
until it was right in front of her. Her friendship to
Shampoo was so new, and already Ukyo felt like she
had betrayed it. And so she ran after her and Ranma.
But they were so much faster. Both of them.

Ukyo heard the sound of shoes behind her, and she
glanced back. Nabiki was running too! Even in her
short glance though, she could tell Nabiki wasn't fit
enough to run even the distance she already had.

Ukyo fell back, allowing Nabiki to catch up. "Why
are you running?"

"Ranma...might kill...if...I...don't... stop
him...Go back to Tofu's...get help."

"Sugar, you aren't going to make another ten feet,
there's no way you'll catch up to them."

"I'll...catch up...you...go."

Ukyo just ran beside Nabiki. To her surprise the
Tendo girl started picking up speed. "Nabiki, how-?"

"GO!" Nabiki waved her hand at Ukyo to go
back....or at least that was what Ukyo thought she
was doing until she felt a sharp burning pain. The
chef slowed to a stop as she examined the four
parallel tears in the arm of her boy's school uniform.
She looked up at Nabiki who had already gained an
uncanny amount of ground. She was bounding on all
fours, catlike.

"This is fast becoming an epidemic," Ukyo remarked
to herself. The statement didn't begin to cover the
strangeness of seeing the Ice Queen run off like that
though.

"Hey you!"

Ukyo turned to see a rather unkempt and rotund man
with curly black hair and a moustache standing
outside the door of the Hot Dog and Coffee. "Me?"

"Yeah. You wanna buy a hot dog?"

"No thanks, sugar," Ukyo said, "I'm trying to
quit." In Ukyo's opinion, the worst thing a person
could do with a piece of meat was turn it into a hot
dog.

"Heh heh. Fine suit yourself. I just know that
after I see three teenagers run past me on all fours
after each other, a nice, normal hot dog sure sounds
good."

Ukyo had to admit she was tempted, but she had
somewhere she had to be. "Maybe some other time.
You've got an effective sales strategy there."

The man shrugged. "Hey, this is Nerima."

"That it is," Ukyo agreed with a sigh. "Take care."
And with that she ran back toward Tofu's.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Nabiki wasn't sure at first why she followed Ranma
out the torn down door of the Tofu clinic. It wasn't
something she would normally do. Normally she'd
acknowledge that Ukyo was the most qualified to
defuse the situation and make sure she was prepared
for every foreseeable eventuality. But something
told her Ukyo wouldn't be able to fix this. That only
she could.

She hadn't done much aerobic exercise in the decade
or so since she stopped practicing the Art, and she
felt it as she pounded the ground with her feet after
the others. In her mind though, she kept seeing Genma
at the mercy of invisible claws... Over and over like
a sports broadcast that was too enthused about its
instant replay feature she saw the image. And she
remembered the power, the freedom...By the time Ukyo
fell back to talk to her, Nabiki was half-crazed from
exhaustion and almost the rest of the way crazed by
something inside her telling her she could be faster,
she could be stronger...

Nabiki struggled desperately against this. She
recognized the voice inside her, felt it as the cool
weight of a pistol in her palm...it wasn't any
different than that. But unlike a pistol she couldn't
throw this away, she could not renounce it like a bad
habit and be done. It was as much a part of her now
as it had ever been for Ranma.

It wasn't until she involuntarily scratched Ukyo's
arm though, that Nabiki understood. She had power,
whether she liked it or not. The only thing she had
any influence on was how she used it. She had to find
some way to control it and there was really only one
way to learn.

Nabiki stopped resisting.

Immediately the world became a wash of sounds,
smells, sensations... the bloody sweet sweat tang of
Shampoo's menses attacked her nostrils immediately.
As she concentrated she could discern Ranma's
pleasant musk. She heard Ukyo talk with somebody far
behind her but the words held no real meaning any
more. She knew she was now running on all fours, but
found it so natural she wondered why she didn't run
that way all the time.

Then she wondered why she was running in the first
place when, even now, she was so close to utter
exhaustion. So Ranma wished to mate with the other
female. What was the problem? It was her time, was it
not? Ranma could mate with Nabiki when it was her own
time. It was natural for the female to fight off the
male at first. If she reached them she'd only be
interfering in what might be a happy copulation. But
then she had a thought...

Ranma, Shampoo and I have human bodies.

Nabiki increased her speed, trying not to notice
her ugly, pink, hairless hands as they pushed away
the concrete underneath her...tried not to get
frustrated at not being able to direct her hearing
with her atrophied stumps of ears. Ranma being human
and one with honor, would not copulate with another
if he had a litter by Shampoo. If she let Ranma mate
with Shampoo, she could lose him forever. Nabiki
would not let that happen.

Ranma was hers.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Kawagami Hiro knew he should have known better. The
girl was still in High School, and she was a reckless
driver on top of it. But he had fallen for her.

The way she moved on that bike, it was like she was
one with it! He helped save her life, and while at
the time he was too worried she might die to pay much
attention, now he could not quite get the feeling of
her lips on his to go away, even as he sipped black
java at the Hot Dog and Coffee, remembering the image
of her and that punk kid making out on the couch of
Tofu's waiting room. The Hot Dog and Coffee was a
favorite hang out for cops, first because of the
coffee, and secondly because you could see all the
girls coming out of the Sanjuuichi ice cream shop
across the street.

"Why so glum, chum?" asked Inamura Kentaro as he
sat down across the table from Hiro. He had an
extremely well-kept goatee that, combined with his
oriental features, made one think simultaneously of
Don Quixote and Kublai Khan. He tended to have more
Quixote than Khan in him most times. People often
wondered at how such an ebullient man could be a
homicide detective, but he was, and he had definite
limits to his pleasantness.

"It's this girl I gave a ticket to. Saved her life.
She didn't even thank me and she was banging this
punk..."

"Hiro, Hiro, Hiro...you're like one of the women
in the self defense class! You keep trying to save
these girls, trying to change them but you can't. You
can't ask a tiger to be a lamb."

"This girl was different. She was intelligent, I
could tell...and there was something else..."

"There all different. They're like snowflakes, but
Hiro," Kentaro winked and glanced out at the
Sanjuuichi meaningfully "They all taste the same on
the tongue."

"Yeah, I know. I just thought going back to being a
traffic cop would keep me from having to deal with...
women. And this one hit me harder than the others."
Hiro sighed, "So you have any gruesome murders to
lift my spirits?"

"Heh. As a matter of fact... I was about to ask you
to do me a favor."

Hiro had a good idea what it was, "You know,
contrary to popular belief, Kentaro, I don't actually
like giving people bad news."

"But you're so good at it!" Kentaro batted Hiro
lightly on the side of the head.

Hiro was caught in a disturbing niche of being one
of the few cops that didn't absolutely dread telling
people their friends or family members were dead. He
wasn't an especially morbid guy, far from it. It was
just that he'd rather someone hear it from him than a
pimple-faced rookie or a callous veteran of the force.
He wouldn't want cheery bright-eyed Kentaro to do it;
that was for sure. Hiro sighed, "Okay, so who is it?"

"It's a murder. A grisly one at that. Not one of
those nice induced heart attacks no siree." Kentaro's
voice had taken a slightly manic tone. This case had
upset Kentaro more than usual. He was venting. "This
one all we got is a maggot infested arm that fell out
of a dumpster about five o'clock this morning. We got
the torso an hour or so later, so we ruled out self-
amputation. We ran the prints...they belong to an
eighteen-year-old girl. Maybe one of your waifs?..."

Hiro tried not to think of Nabiki hacked into
pieces. It was common knowledge troubled teens tended
to have a short shelf life. But Hiro had been a
troubled teen not all that long ago and Kentaro's
humor hit a little too close to home.

The older cop continued, "She came by just three
days ago to get her motorcycle license renewal signed
by a notary public." Kentaro's face suddenly lost its
brightness.

Hiro knew he was thinking about the murderer, about
catching the bastard, about how fucked the judicial
system was that let maniacs like that loose even
after they were caught, about how it could have been
his own daughter that had been killed.

"Tomo Hoko, that's the name of the victim." Kentaro
took in a breath leaning back to gaze into the
fluorescent light over head, "Alas, poor Hoko," he
said and lowered his head to look at Hiro with smile
as natural as a skeleton's and about as cheerful, "I
knew her, Horatio."

"Give me the address, and I'll take care of it."
Hiro said solemnly.

Kentaro handed him a copy of Hoko's file. He got up
to leave and turned back, "I knew her." He left then,
and Hiro knew that the man would be relentless in
tracking the murderer down. Kentaro was in full
Kublai Khan mode now, and for him, the divine wind
was on his side.

Hiro looked at the address on the file and shot to
his feet. Tomo Hoko was Nabiki's next door neighbor!
He ran to see if he could catch Kentaro, but he was
distracted by someone turning up the volume on a TV
in the caf�. "Hey check it out!" the fat, curly-
haired man said.

A four way intersection blocked by a naked couple
having sex. They seemed to be making high pitched cat
sounds. Hiro didn't really think when he saw the
image. He just went out of the room, out of the
building and onto his bike.

~~~~~*~~~~~

When Akane entered the building dressed in her
yellow gi and carrying a backpack on her back, a man
in long, white robes embraced her.

"SHAMPOO, MY LOVE!"

The Nekohanten, Akane thought sardonically, they
may not know your name, but they're always glad you
came. Akane pried Mousse's arms from her torso as
best she could, explaining, "I'm not Shampoo, Mousse.
Honestly!"

Just then, Akane noticed the TV mounted on the
wall...

"...Amazingly, instead of running over them, the
first cars were blown back by some form of energy.
Police officers are having difficulty getting to the
scene owing to the sheer magnitude of the traffic jam
the two love birds have caused. This just in! The
names of the exhibitionists are Saotome Ranma
and...CRASHsizzlepop"

Akane extricated her mallet from the television
only a little self conscious.

"Hey! We were watching that!" one of the Nekohanten
customers exclaimed.

Ignoring them, Akane turned to Mousse. "Is Cologne
here?"

Mousse put his glasses back onto his nose from the
top of his head. "I'll take you to her." Mousse led
her to the back of the restaurant, where Cologne was
standing on the counter, hovering over a large pot of
ramen. "Old ha...I mean Honored Elder?" Mousse bowed,
"You have a visitor."

She turned and saw Akane. "Ah yes, Tendo Akane!"
She picked up her staff and hopped to the floor and
then on to the top of the staff balancing on its tip.
"You've been through a lot today, child. Feel free to
let go of your pack and sit. May I ask where it is
you're going?"

Akane set her pack down and sat on it. Her eyes
were now level with the Amazon elder's. "I'm going to
a friend's house for the weekend. I need...distance."

Cologne nodded, "You did leave a note, right? You
mustn't let your family worry."

"Yes, I left a note telling them where I'll be and
I plan on calling as soon as I get there."

"Good. You'll need as few distractions as possible
the next few days or so."

"You have what I called about?"

Cologne brought a bottle of formula 119 shampoo
"Yes, I have your cure, and I appreciate you telling
me about Shampoo."

"Forgive me, Cologne-sama, but I thought you'd be
more upset about that."

"Phah, I was the same as her back in my day. The
truth is the Amazon culture can be a little stifling.
If you don't rebel every now and then, you wither up
and die. Shampoo's biggest fault was that she was too
willing to follow orders. If she had just stayed in
Japan to begin with, she'd be married to Ranma right
now."

Akane couldn't suppress a twitch in her eyebrow but
managed to stay calm. "So you think she'll come back
to you?"

"I know she'll come back, child. Whether she wants
to or not. It's her destiny."

"Destiny? It can't be changed?"

"Some things cannot be changed, child. We all grow
old, we all die, the day inevitably darkens into
night. Other things...they are as mercurial as a
flame in the wind. This thing with Nabiki for
instance. You know I wasn't expecting it at all? And
now it seems like it should have been obvious. But to
say that was destiny is an anthropomorphic fallacy.
We try to make reality more human, because we can
deal with people; we know how they operate. If this
didn't happen, if that didn't happen...we start to
wonder how it is that all these things were set up.
We start to think of it as the fates playing with us.
But the very nature of the word "if" should clue us
in that there isn't a plan. You could just as easily
be married to Ranma right now. So could Shampoo or
Ukyo or nearly anybody. A billion random events
conspired against you. A butterfly flapped its
wings."

"So I still don't have any control." Akane said
bitterly.

"Of course you have control! You are yourself part
of the world you live in! You can affect it just as
surely as it can affect you. You already do in fact,
you just don't realize it because you don't observe.
Do you know what the most awesome power in all of the
universe is?"

"What?"

"The power of thyself known. If you know absolutely
everything there is to know about yourself, then you
can do almost anything given enough time. Case in
point, if you knew that you had been affected by the
formula 110 shampoo earlier, you would have gone to
me or Tofu earlier and perhaps none of this mess
would have happened. But instead of being in control,
you were controlled, and so in a way, it's all your
fault."

"I don't see how I could have known..."

"But you did know. You knew the first day that
something was wrong, but you dismissed it. Of course,
if everyone in the world stopped dismissing things,
the world would be a lot less interesting."

"I suppose you're right," Akane sighed.

"Of course I am." Cologne crossed her arms,
managing to stay balanced on her staff by her feet
alone. "Have you made a decision?"

Akane nodded.

"So, would you like to be an Amazon?"

"Yes. Yes, I would, Honored Elder."

Cologne smiled. "I'm pleased. Your training starts
Monday. And don't think you're going to get out of
paying for that television. Tomorrow I will go with
you to your school so you can get a work permit. I
imagine your grades have suffered a bit."

"But, Honored Elder?"

"Yes?"

"The cure?"

"I've already administered it. You'll be back to
full capacity in just under three hours."

Akane blinked. She hadn't even seen the old woman
move! "Will I ever learn to be that fast?" she
wondered out loud.

"You will learn many things. Your mind is free now,
and the chains it has worn have served to strengthen
it. Just be sure not to squander this opportunity."

Akane nodded, smiling. She could feel it now, like
a fog slowly lifting from her mind. Like static she
hadn't even realized was there fading into a clear
picture. She didn't need Ranma. If he and Nabiki
wanted to screw in a city street then that was their
business. Akane was finally through for real. Besides,
Ranma didn't deserve her. She was Tendo Akane.

She was Amazon.

~~~~~[END]~~~~~

AN: In case you're wondering about the title and/or
about Copycat's inside joke, it all revolves around
knowing that "fetch" is another name for a
doppelganger, or a creature that mimics people and
then kills them. I always planned on having Copycat
Ken in this fic. I wasn't satisfied with the ending
of the episode, and really there's no character that
I know of with more of an identity crisis. Seeing as
he was able to turn himself into a perfect copy of
Happosai, someone much smaller than his normal form,
I figure the blanket he uses is more than just
illusion.

Slowly but surely the fic is approaching the main arc.
Believe it or not, it actually centers on Nodoka, and
she should finally make an appearance in the next
chapter. Unless my idea monster rears its complicated
head again of course.

Many thanks to Figment, Bastet's Chosen, and
Aondehafka for their help with this chapter and to
The Wanderer and the people at the FFML for helping
with a technical problem.

Feedback greatly appreciated.

It gets weirder.