The going is slow, very slow. It's taken me a full week to put out barely
ten pages.  Oh well.

- Better than doing it too quickly and having to rewrite. Is is James Joyce
that writes about 10 words a day? Anyway.

Please C&C this, I need some feedback to tell me where I'm drifting off
course. This is a first cut rough draft, so technical editing
(spelling/grammar), style comments, and factual error stomping are all
appreciated. MSTings, 'Look, Ma. I'm a comedian!', and 'I'm So Clever'
quips and snipes will be cheerfully ignored.

- I'll try to keep my inner comedian contained ^-^ And actually, since I
assumed that people who are better at grammar then I am will be going over
this with a fine-tooth comb no doubt, I'm only going to comment on plot
elements.

And now, without further ado, Gaijin Productions presents:

- Okay, I actually quite liked this. One thing did confuse me, though. I
have never heard the word miko before, and thought that it was someone's
name. But that is mostly my own fault, I just thought I should mention, some
of your readers may not realize that miko is more of a title, or...job? I
don't know if that's the word I'm looking for. But your two characters are
mikos at the Shrine, I understand that much, now.

- These are characters that you made, right? Aside from, of course, Ranma
and Happosai. If so, they're very well done, though I personally would have
liked a bit more information before jumping into the plot. That can take
away from the action though, I realize.

- Your descriptions are wonderful, and aside from difficulty in picturing
the two characters (the aunt and niece), I was able to picture what you were
writing easily. It sounds like this is going to be a very interesting
fanfic. I can see Ranma easily putting 200% into a battle, then still trying
to stand up and smile like nothing happened the moment (s)he came to.

- What happened to Genma? That's probably going to be in the next chapter or
two, right?

- Denise


             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'