Aaron E Nowack wrote:
On Sat, 26 Jul 2003 21:02:42 -0700 Brian Randall <brian@azurite.org>
writes:
Ow. I've been lucky so far with that kind of thing *knock on wood*, as
the one time I lost stuff I'd made a backup the week before and so lost
only a couple of scenes from Shades of Gray Chapter 5 and some outlines
and such for never-written fics.
Until now, I had been lucky, as well. Consider yourselves warned, FFML
populous -- backups are critical.
I can imagine. I certainly wish you luck on any/all attempts at data
recovery.
Slow and painful, but most of it is retrievable.
Well, at least it isn't as bad as it could have been, then.
Indeed!
Well, I don't believe I ever actually asked about a sequel... but I'll
still take that as good news. ;)
I saw a handful of e-mails from people who had asked.
And, given that a couple months back I _finally_ got around to reading
what was up of this story, now for the hopefully funny and/or useful C&C.
As always, this C&C represents only my occasionally humble opinion and
occasionally accurate grammar and spelling skillz, and should be treated
as such.
Gotcha.
Bear in mind that my entire knowledge of Goldenboy and Love Hina comes
from... well, Process of Elimination and this fanfic. So don't expect
very helpful commentary on that end. ;)
You should see GoldenBoy, at the very least. For Love Hina, I suggest
the manga (though the fantrans seemed to be better quality... >_<)
"So, how exactly does ki move through a body?" Mutsumi asked
curiously, looking between Ranma and Motoko.
Ranma smiled knowingly. "The RFC does not specify that, but most vendor
implementations use TCP/IP."
*snicker*
Disclaimer: Paints in this story are from Takahashi, Viz (Ranma
1/2), TV Tokyo and Ken Akamatsu (Love Hina), and Tatsuya Egawa
(Goldenboy). The easel is mine. That's all.
Who owns the brush then? Huh? Huh?
Do not question the Muse, for she is feisty, and does not approve of sleep.
Keitaro's eyes widened, and the deadness about him lessened as
he
returned to his normal state, if his nose was bleeding.
For some reason this sentence jut doesn't parse properly for me.
Hmmm. Let's see....
Keitaro's eyes widened, and life returned to his gaze as he returned to
his normal state, save that his nose was bleeding.
"You're a big fan of clear weather?" Keitaro asked, raising an
eyebrow.
"For obvious reasons," Naru added, whacking Keitaro playfully
upside
the head. "Did you forget so easily?"
I seem to recall you used almost exactly the same joke in the last
chapter. Now, this might be/probably is on purpose, but I find it a bit
bleh.
I thought so too, but now I can't find it anywhere.
"Myu!" the turtle chirped worriedly.
"What?" Ranma snapped, standing at attention and peering at
Tamago.
"Mutsumi's fallen in a well?"
Heh.
;)
Some of us are old enough to remember the source of this joke.
"I'm kind of wondering how we managed to fix up the place
without noticing something like this," Ranma added, frowning.
Subspace: the universal Answer.
Heh. The old woman designed the inn VERY cunningly.
The walls were all bare, save the scrolls that had come with the
room -- scrolls that probably concealed more hidden passageways --
and a single framed image of a girl with purple hair sitting on the shelf
in the corner.
Shampoo? Interesting.
I had hoped so!
"You learn quickly," she said, smiling again. "Ranma... the sun is
setting, and this is... the time that it should be done. I want to give
you this." She produced a pair of glittering metallic bracers from her
pack, and sighed. "These... are dragon-hide armor. My great-grandmother
said that she got them from another village in China, and this... is the
most important piece of my... dowry. I want to give it to you now."
Hrm. Has it been stated exactly where this series diiverges from Ranma
yet? I seem to recall some Herb-ish foreshadowing earlier...
Eh... where?
"Yeah, well, I figured I was going to have to explain it eventually
anyway, ever since Kitsune tried to sneak my photo album out of my room
to look through it herself," he replied, smirking at the woman in question.
Kitsune? Is that someone's last name, or a typo on Mitsune?
That's her nickname. Most people call her that, except for the
narrator, because he's a stuck up and pretentious sot. Wait, that's....
>_<
Shinobu blushed just as darkly and quickly asked, "Could you help me
up into the passageway again, instead?"
Blushed darkly? That phrasing seems odd to me - I'd consider a strong
blush blushing brightly.
Hmmm.
Okay.
"Oh, well, I was going to use my computer for something... but
then
I got distracted by a game of Super Tetris vs. Columns IV: Mega
Death
Championship Tournament Edition Turbo -- Online," Suu explained.
Are you sure it wasn't Super Tetris vs. Columns IV _Two_: Mega Death
Championship Tournament Edition Turbo Online? I don't think the first
one got an online version...
Not technically, but this is Suu.
"Ooh!" Suu cooed, wide-eyed. "Ranmas need to be exposed to
alcohol more often!"
Heh.
Running gag!
She waited until she heard their footsteps approach, and sneaked
around the tree, slipping into the inn once the sounds of their
conversation were lost to darkness. So that's how it was, after all,
she realized sadly.
Didn't we have this plotline already, only with Ranma?
Yeah, just like the manga. Which pretty much used it constantly.
She'd had her chance, and lost it... and was given it back, when
Keitaro turned out not to be gay.
Yeah, that was it.
Yep.
Apologies for the paucity of comments, but I haven't been able to give
decent C&C in... well, forever, it seems.
The best C&C I've gotten in at least six months!
Overall, I like this story, though I find it hard to keep track of all
the Love Hina characters - though that's more my own unfamiliarity with
the source material than any fault of the story's.
The Goldenboy anime is great, and the manga's not half bad either. If
it is a bit... ecchier.
My only real concern right now is that, at least in this and the
previouss chapter, the story seems to pretty much be treading water. The
plot could definitely use some shaking up in the (near) future - and no,
the latest round of comedic/angstful romantic misunderstandings doesn't
count, at least not for me. ;)
That's the nature of Love Hina -- I have gotten complaints for moving
the relationships on the LH side forward as 'quickly' as I have, so....
Anyway, things will be shaken up, if all goes according to plan.
In any case, it's certainly good to hear/see something from you again,
and I'm of course looking forwward to seeing more. :)
That's good to hear! I should have the next chapter posted next week,
if I manage to not be working on Sunday night. Thanks for taking the
time to C&C, and I'm sorry that my C&C of SoG was lost when Tradgedy
Happened (tm). :/
Aaron Nowack
"Never let reality get in the way of a good hypothesis."
http://www.geocities.com/anowack/