I have actually started a new job that keeps me even busier, so don't worry
if you see larger gaps in between my comments. I am still reading, just at a
slower rate :-)

____

No problem. Time constraints plague us all 'from time to time.'


____


I loved part 8, but I was confused about one thing. Okay, Shampoo picks up
the little black piglet who we take to be Ryoga, because you write out
Ryoga's opinions/feelings on things as he's being picked up. But later, as
Shampoo's talking to him, he acts more like a real pig, and then he doesn't
change with water (maybe he just needs to be taken in to be repaired? How
long does his warranty with Jusenkyo last, anyway? Joke, joke). Was this
originally one way, then you changed it and didn't edit correctly, or did I
just misinterpret some things?

____

"She (Shampoo) looked him in the eyes. There seemed
to be some spark of intelligence, but no real understanding of the
words."

The piglet (being one of Akari's) is much smarter than you'd think.
What it emotes is equivilant to that of a smart animal, but not a person.
Ex:
A squeal of protest
A grunt of annoyance


____


Giving Shampoo that choice was a good move, you did it sublty enough that I
didn't see it coming.

Well, that's all from me for now, I'll read more sometime, and you'll hear
about it. ^-^

- Denise

____


Thanks.
You're approaching the Final Fight/Duel, which I think you'll like.

Also, it may be of interest to note that I've updated my website...

http://www.wpi.edu/~jbw


It now has both chapters 29 and 30, AND a compilation of chapters in .doc
These are Book One (chaps 1-15) and Book Two (chaps 16-30)


- J. Wagner
jbw@wpi.edu





             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'