Aishuu Offers:
Sceance de Go
mbsilvana@yahoo.com
Disclaimers: Hotta and Obata.
Spoilers: Through the anime. 


*******

Akira hated the rain, but it always seemed to follow
him.

He had no clue why, but whenever something was about
to happen to him, the rain started. He could almost
count on the downpour, and he shuddered every time he
felt the humidity rise. Traumatic memories had
associations, and for him, it was rain.
					
It was raining now.			

He cradled the cup in his hands, letting it linger for
warmth. It was half-full of green tea, something that
he found comforting, and something he always made when
it began raining. Outside, the lightning illuminated
the sky, and he curled up in the comfortable armchair,
as though to hide from it.			

Damn, he hated storms.

In seconds, he knew a tremendous thunder crash would
follow, and he braced himself. He was nineteen, too
old to be scared of childish things. Still, he held
his breath, counting to measure how far away the
thunder was.

"Four... five... six..."

CRASH! 

"TOUYA! Let me in, damn you!"

Akira nearly jumped out of his skin when someone
yelled his name at the same time the thunder finally
broke. His hands juggled the cup, struggling not to
spill the hot liquid on himself. "Coming!" he called,
recognizing the voice with irritation. Setting the cup
on the nearby table, he ran a hand through his hair,
trying to think of reasons not to strangle his
visitor. Still, he was relieved for the distraction,
flinching a bit as another bolt of lightning flashed.

Only Shindou Hikaru would choose to show up in the
middle of one of the worst thunderstorms of the year.
He swung the door open, and his annoyance faded as he
saw his waterlogged rival standing in front of him.
"Shindou... are you okay?"

"I've been better," Hikaru admitted. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," Akira said, stepping aside so Shindou could
pass. His eyes widened as he saw how thoroughly wet
Shindou was. The blonde pro was soaked to the bone,
his hair leaking drops of water across his white face.
He had his arms wrapped around him, trying to conserve
his body warmth, and his lips were nearly blue from
the cold. "You're dripping on my carpet," he pointed
out in a droll voice. "Can I get you a towel?" he
offered.

Hikaru shook his head, tromping in without bothering
to remove his shoes. "I'll dry off naturally," he
assured his sometimes rival, sometimes friend."There's
just something about a storm like this that makes you
want to savor it," he said reflectively, in a soft
voice that seemed to come from somewhere else. "I wish
I hadn't lost my umbrella..."

"Where did you leave it?" Akira asked, watching as
Hikaru settled on the floor, rubbing his hands briskly
in an attempt to restore warmth. He  knelt beside him,
wondering if Hikaru had hypothermia or something.

"If I knew where I left it, it wouldn't be lost, now,
would it?" Hikaru pointed out in annoyance. He sighed
and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm  so cold," he
complained.

"Can I get you something warm to drink?" Akira asked.
Just looking at Hikaru made him long for another layer
of clothing for himself.

"Nah. I'd rather play a game, but my fingers are
frozen stiff... I don't think I can even hold a stone,
let alone place it." He stared down at his hands
sadly. 

Akira looked at the white knuckles, and found himself
reaching out to take Hikaru's hand in his own, an echo
of their second meeting. They had lost the softness of
their childhood, and Akira smiled a bit in
satisfaction as he noted the scraped fingernails.
These were the hands of a dedicated Go player.

And they were cold enough that it took all of his will
not to drop them immediately, but instead hold on,
offering Hikaru a bit of warmth. "Remember when we
first met, and how you couldn't place a Go stone?" he
asked. "I made you give me your hand, just so I could
see if you played often..."

Hikaru studied his hand with concentration before he
realized what Akira had been looking for, that day
when they were twelve. "Such a telling thing, isn't
it?" he said thoughtfully. "Now that I know how to
play properly, I still can't place a stone because I
can't even lift one," he griped. "Damn storm." 

Akira dropped Hikaru's hand and rose to his feet,
knowing the feeling of frustration well. His rival was
right in front of him - all they had to do was start a
game."I'll place the stones if you call the moves," he
offered.

Hikaru looked a bit taken aback, then his eyes
narrowed. "You'd better not claim that placing both
our stones is the reason you lose," he said.

Akira laughed at the idea. Hikaru still hadn't beaten
him since those first two games. "If you beat me, I'll
accept my defeat fair and square. But you won't."

"Akira, I will beat you someday. I will walk this path
until I do," Hikaru vowed as Akira set out the goban.
"Nigiri, and I'll say one or two."

Akira sighed a bit in irritation, but obeyed. "I can
just take white," he offered.

"Baka. We'll play fair. One."

He counted the stones and sighed. "It's even. You're
white."

Hikaru nodded as Akira placed his first stone on the
4-4 star. "16-4, houshi..." he announced, taking
another the star.

Akira smiled, and played another move.

They were quiet except for Hikaru's voice in the
darkness, calling out moves as they played out the
opening moves. "This is so weird, not placing my own
stones," Hikaru said when the game had advanced into
its middle stages.

Outside, another bolt of lightning flashed, and Akira
had to keep from shuddering. "Are you warmer? You can
place them yourself if you are," he said a bit
crankily. Playing for two was something he wasn't
comfortable with doing, though he had recreated
countless kifu. It was just odd waiting to hear what
Hikaru was going to say, and for some reason, it drew
him closer to the other pro's game than ever before,
making him a part of it.

"No, let's play like this for a while longer. 4-3,
boushi...."

Akira let himself fall back into the game, trying to
read into what Hikaru's goal was about. Hikaru always
played a deep game, and if Akira wasn't able to keep
ahead of him, someday Hikaru would sail right by him.

"I wonder if Sai felt like this?" Hikaru whispered.

The slate stone Akira had been about to place next to
the ten gen fell to the floor. "Sai?"

"I played Go with Sai like this, only I was the one
placing the stones. It's odd. You feel a bit distant
from the game, as though it's not really yours, but as
it evolves, I feel closer to you, because you're
helping me create this," Hikaru said in a dreamy
voice.

Akira stared at his rival, wondering if that someday
he had been promised had come. "Sai... Shindou, why
couldn't Sai place his own stones?"

Hikaru didn't answer for a minute, before raising his
eyes to meet Akira's. "Because he was a ghost," he
said softly.

"What?" Akira just stared, unable to think on what
Shindou had just said. 
	
"He was dead. He died a thousand years ago, in the
Heian period," Hikaru said. "Are you going to play?"

Akira wondered if the rain had given Shindou a fever,
or if he had hit his head during the earlier part of
the storm and was dreaming all this. "Shindou, stop
lying."

"I'm not lying!" Hikaru insisted, growing agitated.
"Sai was a ghost!"

Akira took a deep breath to calm himself. "Why don't
you start from the beginning?" he asked. "I'm going to
assume you're not insane for five minutes and hear you
out."

Hikaru exhaled heavily, sounding like he was hissing
as his breath passed between his teeth. "When I was
twelve, I was rummaging through my grandfather's attic
and a ghost appeared from a goban. His name was
Sai..."

Akira clenched his hands, wanting to deny the
impossible story as Shindou continued, telling how Sai
was the one who defeated Akira those first two games,
how Sai was the one who played him during the first
games, directing the moves.

"He would tell me where to place the stones, and I'd
do it. He didn't have a body, so he needed someone
else so he could play. I was the only one who could
see him, and I feel kind of sorry for him. I didn't
respect Go much then. I didn't know what the game
was." Hikaru  his scrapped nails. "That's changed."

Akira opened his mouth to accuse Hikaru of lying or
insanity - he wasn't sure which - but instead found
different words falling from his tongue. "Why did you
take over at the junior high match?"

Intense gray eyes met his, and it was then he knew
that Hikaru wasn't crazy. Truth reflected in them as
the room was illuminated from outside, and the steady
beat of rain created an uneven cadence against the
window pane. "Because I wanted to play you," Hikaru
said, leaning forward. "I was selfish, and I wanted
you to look at me, and stop chasing Sai. I didn't want
to be the middleman my entire life."

Akira felt some tension in his chest, and he narrowed
his eyes. "Is... is Sai here right now?" he wanted to
know.

"No. He left when I was fifteen," Hikaru said softly.

"When you stopped playing..." Akira realized. "What
happened?"

"I thought on that a lot, after he left me," Hikaru
said. "Did I do something wrong? But then I remembered
what he had told me. He had come back to finish what
he had never done... to find the hand of God...."
Hikaru trailed off.
						
Akira stared at Hikaru. "So he found it," he said
softly, trying to contain a surge of envy. How many of
them were searching for it? And Sai had actually FOUND
it, only to disappear before sharing...

"Maybe." Hikaru was quiet as he waited for Akira to
play before  speaking. "Or maybe he found something
else. I don't think Sai understood exactly what he was
here for, until the very end. Towards the end, right
before he left, he was afraid of disappearing. But if
he was on a divine quest, he should have known no
fear. I think he was still human, despite being a
ghost."

Akira stared into Hikaru's gray eyes, seeing quiet
wisdom in them. 'When did you become so much wiser
than me?' he wondered. "So ghosts don't know why they
are here?"

"Maybe. But maybe they are here to complete unfinished
business, and when they do, they leave us... and we
carry on their legacy." Hikaru stared down in the
game. "If I want to find Sai, I just play a game, and
he's there, in my Go."

"And mine," Akira whispered. "We all change each other
by playing."

Hikaru's eyes went wide in realization. "Does that
mean I'm in your Go?"

"Just as I am in yours," Akira said gently.

"Then if we need to find each other, all we need to do
is play," Hikaru said. He seemed reassured by the
thought.

"I'm playing now," Akira told him, laying his next
move finally.

The game continued for hours as the afternoon faded
into the night, neither of them shifting off the
pillows. Hikaru's clothing and hair dried, but Akira
continued to place the stones, for neither wanted to
change the way things were. Finally yose concluded,
and they stared at the board, and Hikaru had to
concede his defeat. "I've lost," he said, bowing.

"Thank you for the game," Akira responded, bowing
back.

"Half a moku," Hikaru said softly. "When they change
international komi, I'll win... but that's not the
same. I want to win at the game the way we play it."

Akira considered the final board. "Changing komi...
yes, that would change the game, wouldn't it?" he
asked softly. He had been ignoring the upcoming change
in rules, not wanting to think about the
repercussions. How many games would have been changed,
if komi was different? What would their games be like
in the future, when the new komi rule went into
effect?

"I don't like it," Hikaru said. "Changing the rules...
it's changing us. We're forced to change in this life,
but some things should remain consistent. If a player
isn't strong enough to win as things are, they should
work to get stronger. Go has been around for over a
thousand of years. Why should they change it now?"

Akira didn't have an answer. He shrugged. "Are we
playing tomorrow at the Go salon?" he asked to change
the topic.

"I can't make it," Hikaru told him. "But some other
day. And I'll win then. I'm playing you until I win!"
he pronounced fiercely, the way he always did. "And we
won't be changing komi..."

"Our rules remain the same," Akira agreed. "And you'll
never beat me, because I'll remain two steps ahead of
you." He looked at the storm outside and noticed how
the rain was beginning to taper off. "The storm's
moving away," he announced, feeling the tension in his
body fade.

"And that means I should go," Hikaru said, standing up
and stretching. He gave an impish grin as Akira led
him to the door. He shivered a bit as Akira unlocked
the door for him, muffling a sneeze under his palm.
"Thanks for listening and not thinking I'm crazy."

"I do think you're crazy," Akira returned, a slight
smile playing over his lips, "but I also think you're
telling the truth."

"Stupid," Hikaru teased. "I'll see you later," he
said, then vanished through the doorway.

Akira watched him go before returning to stare at the
board which he  hadn't cleared. It was a brilliant
game, one of their best... and they hadn't discussed
it. That was odd; usually he and Hikaru would be at
each  other's throats over perceived mistakes, but as
he studied the board and lost himself in the patterns
of stones, he realized that they had brought
themselves to a new level.

He had gotten stronger, with this game. Hikaru always
did that to him, forcing Akira to rise to another
level to stay ahead. He had promised at thirteen that
he would never let Hikaru catch him, and so far, he
had kept his word, but...

If Hikaru had played a daidaigeima there, instead of a
keima... Akira considered the possibility, touching
the white stone.

His cell phone interrupted his thoughts, chiming the
first few measures of "Catch You, Catch Me," and he
scowled at it. Two weeks ago, Hikaru had messed with
it, and Akira, never technically proficient, hadn't
been able to return the ring to something normal.
Besides, the looks of the faces around him when people
heard  TOUYA AKIRA'S phone play Card Captor Sakura's
opening theme had been priceless, and  he was tempted
to keep it permanently.

Absentmindedly, he answered. "It's Touya," he said.

"Touya-san?" said an unfamiliar female voice.

"Yes?" he asked cautiously, hoping that a telemarketer
hadn't managed to get his number.

The person started to say something he couldn't make
out, then the girl began to speak again. "Thi- This is
Fujisaki Akari," she said, speaking in a thick voice.

What would Hikaru's former classmate be doing calling
him? he wondered, then realized that Hikaru had
probably turned off his cell. Akira opened his mouth
to tell her he had just left, but she began speaking
before he could.

"There... there was an accident," she said.

He felt himself go cold, and a feeling if lead settle
in the pit of his stomach. "What?" he whispered.

"Hikaru was on his way back from playing a game of
shidou-go this morning, but... it was raining so
hard... a car hit some water and it hydroplaned into
where he was waiting to cross the street..." she
continued, her voice wooden, with the deadness of
someone who hadn't completely accepted the truth.
"Touya san, he died instantly. They said he didn't
feel a thing."

"But... but..." Touya said, glancing out the window.
The night was heavy now, and if Hikaru....

No... impossible...

He wanted to tell her Hikaru couldn't be dead, that
Hikaru had just been there, playing a game, but he
suddenly realized that Hikaru had never touched a
thing. Akira had opened the door to let him in. He had
refused a blanket or food, and his touch had been like
ice and he hadn't placed his own stones...

"I wanted to tell you, I thought you had the right to
know," she was saying, but the phone slipped from his
fingers as he stared at the game, the impossible game
that he couldn't have played.

His rival...  

'Maybe they are here to complete unfinished
business...'

He remembered what Hikaru had said, suddenly realizing
the significance of his words. 

'Some other day. And I'll win then. I'm playing you
until I win!'

With shaking hands Akira began to clear the goban,
mentally picturing new moves, new counters. His
fingers began to lay out a new joseki, imagining how
Hikaru would respond.

Yes, they would play again.

Shindou Hikaru would keep his promise, and Touya Akira
had to stay ahead of him. He needed to get better. He
needed to make sure that Hikaru would never defeat
him... for if he lost, Hikaru would have no reason
left to stay.

END

Author's Notes:

One of my favorite ghost stories is the one where a
dead relative/friend shows up to someone who doesn't
know they're dead and says all sorts of cryptic things
- sometimes a warning, sometimes a message left
unsaid. And the tale usually ends with the person
finding out that the relative/friend died just before
they showed up on the doorstep...

Figured HnG would be great for it, and who better to
become a ghost than Hikaru? 	

I figured Akira COULD touch Hikaru, since it seems
like Sai shakes the heck out of Hikaru... if you can
see a ghost in the HnG world, it looks like you can
feel them.

Komi is the handicap black plays with, since it has
the advantage. In Winter 2002, Japan changed their
komi to 6.5 rather than the 5.5 we've seen throughout
the series. I know HnG begins in 1998, but I'm pushing
it earlier just for creative purposes.

Thanks to Sonya for the title! Sceance is a French
word that can mean different things. It can mean, just
like in English, a session where you try to get in
contact with a spirit, a ghost. It also means match
when talking about games, like chess. It also mean
when you have a group of people who get together to
learn a skill.

Thanks to Sailor Mac for editing, and Sonya for the beta.

=====
i won't search beyond the sea from now
the shining thing is always here
it can be found within myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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