Josh�s Reply in [

1. Sunshine is a really stupid name. It's not just annoying Ranma, it's 
annoying me. Not to mention that there's no explanation given for why a 
girl who's supposedly lived in Japan (or China) all her life has a name 
like that. If Drake runs a school with a large percentage of Japanese 
students, he should be more than capable of coming up with a suitable 
Japanese name.

[He chose a /very/ annoying name on purpose.
[�At first I thought this was one of Genma�s jokes,� the Drake said as he ran his hand over the bottle.  �So I treated it as such.  I did have to chose a name.]


[And it�s Ranma�s job to explain why she has a name like that.  She could say her parents were annoying wanabe hippies when she was born.


2. Once you've picked which name to use for Ranma in a given scene, 
stick with it. In the bathroom scene, for instance, you switched back 
and forth.

[Yeah I was trying to go for an effect with that.  Guess it didn�t work so well.

3. Why does Ranma think of Principal Kuno as "The Drake"? Even if Genma 
calls him that, Ranma has no idea why.

[Ahh, well his nameplate did say the Drake, but yes that is a mistake, gotta fix.

4.

Ranma glared at Nabiki and then looked at Gabriel.  Gone were the 
cold, hard eyes of last
night.  Instead, he looked playful and awkward.  He looked like 
someone that could
spend an entire weekend memorizing Klingon, or watching old episodes 
of Dr Who and
pointing out every continuity error.

a) Memorizing Klingon or nitpicking Dr. Who does not strike me as 
particularly "playful"

[Yeah- that�s a fix too.

b) How does Ranma even know what those shows ARE? I wouldn't exactly 
expect them to be terribly popular in Japan.

[Okay you caught me there.  Well, I�ll just have to fix that.

5. Based on this bit from chapter 1, (After watching Pluto disappear, 
Sailor DarkStar, the only formerly evil, honorary Senshi, took stock of 
her life.  She now remembered her alter ego Ranma.  Hmm, looks like 
things will be very amusing this time around.), I'm guessing that 
DarkStar's personality got passed along to Ranma as well. But I'm 
seeing no sign of it

[Well Ranma is acting a bit calmer now.  He also hasn�t spent much time as DarkStar.

[Thanks for the review you found some things that I really need to fix.
[Fixed versions will be on my FF.net account and my website when it gets posted.  Don�t want to post to the list unnecessarily



____________________________________________________________
Get advanced SPAM filtering on Webmail or POP Mail ... Get Lycos Mail!
http://login.mail.lycos.com/r/referral?aid=27005

             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'