Let me first say that this is extremely well written.  Mistakes of any
kind
were far and far between.

I usually don't care for present tense in fanfiction, but it works well
here, providing a sort of floating quality to the prose.

The only significant issue I had was your use of narrative and
exposition to
explain what has happened or is happening, which sometimes seems to
break up
the flow of the story.  I cover that in more specific examples below.

Both look over as a lovely vision in a white sundress, sandals
and sparsely applied makeup, not to mention earrings and a bracelet,
appears. "Kikuko!" Kasumi rises as the arriving redhead walks up to
embrace her. 

It seems a little off here when you use "not to mention", because that
seems
more cutesy, whereas the rest of the tone of the story is much heavier.
I
would suggest removing those 

"Oh, relax, Kasumi!" Kikuko playfully bats the Tendou matriarch's
nose, then leans down to embrace Akane. "Hey, how's my favourite
girl today?!" 

I think it would be better to have just a question mark here, as opposed
to
"?!", which is more often used in to combine the urgency or volume of an
exclamation point with a question.

<snip>

"You bet! Unless you WANT to stay here..." 

"NO!!!" 

Kikuko ducks. "Didn't think so," she winks at Kasumi. 

The Tendou matriarch laughs... 

I particularly liked this scene, because it's clear that the characters
have
gone some significant changes, as their personalities are clearly
different.
I can readily see that Akane's affliction could have led to both her
change
in personality, as well as Ranma's significantly mellowed one.

A meeting with Akane's personal physician is arranged, then 
Kikuko goes to work discussing the crippled girl's needs, things
such as nursing care, medication, check-ups and transportation.
Watching the redhead negotiate with Waka-sensei, Kasumi shudders
with pride. Long burned out of the heart and soul of the woman now
known as Kikuko Hayashi -- idol star extraordinary, movie actress
working both sides of the Pacific Ocean, not to mention budding
social activist -- was the shy, stammering man/woman-child
who had first appeared at the front doorstep of the Tendou dojo a 
lifetime ago, slung over the shoulder of what seemed a well-trained
panda. 

"Shudders with pride" seems a bit odd, although it may just be me.  I
can't
really picture "shuddering" as being associated with pride, but rather
discomfort.

"Man/woman-child" is a little weird, but I suppose it does fit with
Ranma.

The way you use passive voice here ("Long burned... was the shy") and
break
it up with a description of her now, is a little difficult to read.  The
sentence is pretty long, although technically grammatically correct, I
think
you can break up the ideas here.

Ranma... 

Kasumi closes her eyes. To believe after over a year of 
sacrifice, things ended up like they did. To believe that after 

This first line should be "To believe [that] after over a year", which
is
then consistent with the other lines in the paragraph, which include the
word "that".

"It's alright," Hirosuke Waka, a handsome man in his late 
thirties who was a peer of Kasumi's husband, chuckles. "I was 
wondering if you have any sort of objections concerning your sister's
homecare with Hayashi-san." 

One thing that you seem to do frequently is insert descriptions in the
middle of someone's thoughts or actions.  An example is right here when
you
just say who Waka is in the middle of his chuckling action.  This tends
to
throw off the flow of the story, because you are using exposition, as
opposed to integrating who he is into the dialogue or thoughts, or
something
similar.  Using these kinds of descriptions places distance between the
story and the reader.

I would recommend the following article at
http://www.absolutewrite.com/novels/exposition_vs_narrative.htm which
explains how and when to use narrative, exposition, or neither.

Kasumi stiffens. "Father is dead, Sensei. Even if I have the
Ono name, I am the matriarch of the Nerima Tendou Clan due to what
happened to Akane. As for our sister Nabiki, her opinions..."
she pauses, then finishes her sentence in a voice of ashes. "No 
longer matter." 

"I see," the doctor nods. "Well, let's get everything set 
up..." 

Now here is a great example of how with one simple speech, the reader
gets
information about what Nabiki has been doing.  Just using that phrase
"voice
of ashes" (which is very good here) lets the reader know that Nabiki has
been up to no good, without it being spelled out like "Nabiki had been
up to
no good."

"Hai, that she did," Kasumi nods as the sisters and Kikuko ride
a specially-modified limousine to the actress' penthouse home in 
Shibuya. 

"Specially-modified"? I'm not really sure what that means.

"How long do they say she'll stay in jail?" Kikuko wonders. 

Ah, and there is another great example.  You didn't have to say "Nabiki
had
been in jail", because you revealed that information through the
dialogue.
The reader will know about Nabiki's situation while the story continues
to
move forward.

"You reap what you sow," Kikuko glances out the window. 

Hmm, well, I guess we're starting to see about the story title.  The
only
question I had at this point is whether it applied to anyone else.

"There's no house for her to return to, Akane," Kasumi returns
her look with a warm smile. "Once Father was dead and Kikuko-chan
offered to take care of you, there was no need to hang onto it 
anymore. We were able to sell it off to those who'd put it to far 
better use." 

Again, very good way to give background information.

"Afternoon, Miss Hayashi," he bows, then glances at the woman in the
chair. "And this must be Miss Tendou." 

"Hai, that she is!" Kikuko grins as the doors are opened, 
revealing a fair-sized yet modestly decorated studio flat. 

"That she is" seems to imply that Kikuko is speaking about a
characteristic
of Akane (i.e., "Is Akane Japanese?" "That she is.") as opposed to her
name.
I would recommend instead "Hai, it sure is!".

They gaze on each other, then Kasumi shakes her head. "No,"
she gazes once more out the window. "As distasteful as it was, it 
was also necessary, especially after what happened to Akane-chan." 

I believe it would better to say "gaze at each other" here.

The redhead winces. "Ouch! I'm glad that U-chan, Xian and 
'Dachi weren't close by whenever Akane had to blow off some steam." 

If you are using "Xian" to refer to Shampoo, keep in mind that her
actual
Chinese name is "Shan Pu", not "Xian Pu".  In the manga, those are the
Chinese characters used.

"I noticed. You pronounce her name 'Xian' instead of 'Shan.'" 

If you want to be closer to the manga, I'd recommend she say "'Shan'
instead
of 'Sham'", or just eliminate that sentence entirely.

"Hai, true. Anyhow, Xian and I're blood sisters now..." 

"I're" is not a correct contraction of "I are".  If you meant to
intentionally jumble them together because of poor speech patterns, then
the
only problem is that Kikuko no longer speaks badly.

"Hai. There's this seldom-used law that permits outsider
mates to become adopted sisters or brothers of the tribe whenever
the Nanniichuan or Nyanniichuan get involved.

This should be "gets involved".

When I finally got my break in the
pictures, I helped pay for her to spend some time at the Betty Ford
Clinic in the States. After she got out, we teamed up on her brother
and dad, then got them both sent in for treatment." 

Well, that's an interesting solution...

"'A family without honour has no right to an honour blade.'" 

Kasumi blinks, then nods approvingly. "It was about time she 
was made to see the truth," she crosses her arms. 

Hmm, this is an interesting point.  It doesn't seem completely in
character
with how Nodoka usually is - she seems very honorable - but it works.

An hour later, Kasumi departs the actress' home, heading to the
basement where the limousine awaited her, ready to return her to 
Toofuu's side in Hachiouji.

I believe it is "Tofuu" or "Tofu", not "Toofu".

Souun moaned, his tears showering everywhere. Fortunately,
few of them fell on Genma to trigger his transformation.

I think it would better to say "too few of them" here.

Kasumi flatly noted. "Much that I do care for her, I can't condone
that sort of behaviour." 

I think it would better here to say "As much as I care for her".

"She never did anything wrong!!" Souun flatly stated. 

That sounds like more vehement than flat.

"Sir, much that I am sympathetic to your plight, but any denials
you might make, either now or at your daughter's trial, will not do 
her any good in the long term," Hojou gave him a knowing look, then
he placed the tea cup on the table.

I believe it would better to say "as much as I am sympathetic".

Hojou: "Sir, I'd hardly call a brain aneurysm an 'accident.'" 

Since this isn't a script fic, you should probably fix this.

Silence fell over the room. Souun gazed at his oldest, a 
mixture of emotions tugging at his face. Genma remained silent;
he had long come to know the truths haunting the Tendou household.

I think it would be better to say "he had long since come to" here.

Kasumi nodded. The explanation takes about ten minutes.

Since you've been using past tense for this flashback, you should
probably
use "took" instead of "takes" here.

Souun shuddered as the beginnings of a Demon Head aura began
to billow around his shoulders. "Kasumi, APOLOGIZE NOW OR ELSE!!!!" 

This whole scene seemed very surreal.  It's very hard to imagine Kasumi
striking anyone, let alone Nodoka.

"Hai!!" both "policemen" nodded. 

Well, if by using the quotes around "policemen", you are implying that
are
not policemen at all, this seems a little obvious.  Before I read this
line,
I had no idea that they might not be policemen.  Are there any clues
earlier
that might help the reader realize this without having to have spelled
out?
The only one I found was when Kasumi seemed to be expecting them - but
that
could still mean they were legitimate.

Aoki's pistol snapped up, the hammer dropping once. The 
*swish-clack!* of a subsonic bullet being fired through a 
silencer-modified barrel is followed instantaneously by the wet noise
of flesh and bone shattering as the bullet punched through the middle
of Souun's head, blasting out a good portion of the back of his 
skull.

Now you're switching back to present tense.  It would probably be better
to
remain consistent.

Before Nodoka could try to react,
even if it is to scream out on seeing her husband and his best friend
murdered before her eyes, Aoki spun on her, sending a third bullet
to punch through her trachea, oesophagus and spinal column all at 
once. 

This should probably say "even if it was", since you are using past
tense
here.

Also, it is spelled "esophagus".

That rancid, old seppuku contract? 

Maybe. 

Hmm, perhaps.

Some perverse loyalty to Happousai? 

Less likely, but possible. 

It doesn't seem too likely to me...

*** Fin *** 

I just don't like the idea of those who abandon Ranma getting away
with destroying his life. Yes, there are stories which show Ranma
turning around and getting some measure of revenge/justice
on those who turned their collective backs on him, but they are few
and far between in my eyes. 

Well, I do understand your motivation, and now I believe I do get why
the
story is called "You Reap What You Sow".

This was a very well written story, and although drama is not my
favorite
genre of fanfiction, I think you did a very good job explaining what
happened and revealing the details slowly.  Occasionally, as I mentioned
above, you explicitly stated facts, which broke up the flow of the
story,
but as the story went on, it got better and better.

Overall, very good.

Hope to see you writing again soon!

-Jeremy F


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