You wrote:

She stopped there, and swayed back to lean against a tree, he hands

her

Her face tightened at his last words, and she looked away.

Silence stretched out, filling up the space between them. Miroku took up
his outer robe and wrapped it around himself, trying to tie it's

its

Her lack of touch left a distinct emptiness in it's

its

wake.

The silence returned; spreading between them, this time it was choking. He
fussed with his wet hair, she would not watch him.

It was not until he had reached for his staff that she looked back at him
again.

"Would houshi-sama grant me one request?"

Sango: Grant me revenge!

Miroku: Your possessed by Conan again, aren't you?

Sango turned back to him, her expression like a stone mask. He had only
seconds to contemplate her, before he caught the familiar arc of her hand,
just before it cracked against his face. The red welt left in it's

its

"Baka!" she sobbed as she buried herself against her chest. "Baka! To be

so

stupid!"

Sango: Of course I wouldn't miss you.

Miroku: Crap.

He was still reeling; he wasn't sure if it was the smack or her sobs that
has

had

shocked him more. He hadn't even done anything to deserve either! She

gripped his robes, turning her face up to him.

"Why?" she demanded. "Why couldn't you be honest with us? With me? Why

must

it always be a smile that lied?

Miroku: Our creator is making big bucks off a long series. We have to drag
the romantic tension out somehow.

He stumbled into her, his arms sliding around her to draw him to his

chest;

her hands were mussing his just-straightened, wet hair, and he didn't

care.

When her fingers tightened in his dark locks, tugging against his scalp
until it hurt -- he still didn't care.

When she ripped out the hair, he cared. He screamed really loudly to show
how much he cared.

She didn't break away when one hand dipped down her back to cup her

butt --

Blech. Too crude for this sort of thing. 'bottom' would be better.

She pushed him against the tree and kissed him harder!

Miroku: Argh! Splinters!

Rational thought was devoured by the lizard brain;

again wording seems to crude. Something less animalistic. devoured by 'base
insticts'. 'desire' even 'lust

And that's what froze him above her, as she drew him down atop her, skin
pale against the black and indigo of his robes, dark hair fanning out
beneath her.

"I can't," he finally said in a rush, still propped above her body, her
legs tangled with his. "I want to  gods,

extra space

Did she think he didn't love her?

Clutching his cursed hand to his chest, his good palm laid over it, he
carefully contemplated his next words.

However, she kissed his brow, one hand reaching up to smooth back the hair
she'd mussed.

"You understand?" he said, quaver in his voice betraying him.

"Yes," she said gently. "But you do know, if there. there

there... there

"For what?"

"For a little intimacy."

Miroku: Say, that would make a neat story title, woudn't it?

Silence lingered between them, and Sango did no

not

The silence returned, for as long it was safe. Both knew they couldn't
stray too much longer; while Inu-Yasha and Kagome were hardly known for
being respectful of the pair's privacy, they knew they had a little time
alone. And they made it last, as much as they could.

Nice emotional little piece. Short, but it needed to be. Conveyed the
desired emotions nicely. Prose flowed well, brief where it needed to be and
flowery in other places.

D.B. Sommer

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