First thanks for the C&C, it's important for the story's development.  Now... let's head for the specifics.

Kind of an interesting idea.  

Feel free to ignore any comments you don't agree with. :-)

"hours now and up to now" is kind of repetitive.  I'd drop the first 'now'.

noted and changed

"swarmed under" isn't an expression I've heard before (which may not mean
much).  "Swarmed by" or "swarmed over by"?

sorry no, I really do mean swarmed under as in having their position overrun.

It is?  From where?  She doesn't appear to know about Ranma yet, who else
might be coming?

Optimism... it is a normal scouting mission after all and they have yet to return.  I figured it to be a typical Akane response.

I'd take out "and nearing their location".

not for this one, they're not expecting any help from that direction.

"Recently" doesn't seem to fit there.

noted, will change

"I won't even..."

ditto with this one

I won't quote it, but Kuno's rant/speech/whatever at the end's a bit long
for one paragraph.

hmmm yes, I suppose. I'll see what I can do about it.

Thanks again for the C&C

Jiro


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