RECOMMENDED SYNCHRONIZATION RATE: 400% OR HIGHER.
Hmm, this joke would be more funny if this were an EVA fic.
DATE: AUGUST 30TH, MMII
Odd that, using an Arabic numerals to denote the date and Roman numerals to
denote the year. Is there a reason for this or are you just demonstrating
your ability in Roman numerals?
1) This short fic IS an "Out-Of-Character" story. If you just hate
O-O-C stories, then simply do not read this one. You were warned.
Please do not come tell me that this fic is a bad fic *only because
it is O-O-C* and you don't like O-O-C fics because O-O-C fics ipso
facto are bad fics --- unless you really want to be:
a) flamed back and b) duly called "baka yarou" and "kisama",*minimum*.
Well, you must realise that people generally do have a reason *why* they
dislike OOC fics. One is that they have an emotional attachment to a
particular character and expect that character to act in certain ways. Its a
lot like someone writing, say, Sherlock Holmes, as a dithering idiot who
cannot figure out "put spoon in mouth and chew". Secondly, there is this
certain respect for the work of the original author. In its own way,
fanfiction is the ultimate tribute to the talent of the original writer.
Yes, we do trample blatantly on copyrights so they have everyright to sue us
for a portion of the profits. And get approximatly half of nothing ^_^. That
aside, we use these characters because we were fascinated by the premise put
upon by the original author. Lastly, the characters are who they are solely
on the strengths of their characterization. Argueably a dead-serious Lina
Inverse is not Lina Inverse so much as a physical twin that happens to share
the same name. Likewise a psychotic Vash the Stampede seems almost alien to
Trigun fans. While fanfiction authors have routinely made huge changes to
the personality of their characters, they do try to rationalise these
changes. Individuals do change over time but they do so due to their
experiences in life. Few, if any, individuals change "just because" anymore
than you might wake up one day and decide to jump out of the window although
your life is perfectly fine at the moment. Sometimes the beauty of the fic
does not stem so much from the canon personality but how the author slowly
warps that base template into something else. This preservation of casuality
can actually enrich the fic and increase its believability.
2) Good artworks usually are full of symbols of universal/
traditional/esoteric nature. Quite unfortunately, as time goes by it
becomes more and more difficult to find persons who can realize the
presence of the great symbols and comprehend correctly their
respective meanings. Of course the symbols that appear in
anime and manga are not "just for decoration". And because of
their undeniable strong influence upon the collective psych�, one
cannot seriously consider that the symbols were used only for
helping the manga editors and TV network owners
make (more) profit. Unless you keep this in mind you will not be
able to appreciate or evaluate this fanfic properly.
So are you saying that the networks are *not* out for a quick buck? :P
Symbols are exactly that and quite open to interpretation. There is no such
thing as "the one true explaination" of a work of art, not even that of the
artist.
4) I am a person who (still - ?) loves the good anime *and* has a
reasonably huge and well-formed general knowledge. I am perfectly
aware that I am an avis rara. I also know that most anific readers
and authors do *not* enjoy _actual_ good literature, especially
because they were "educated" (read: programmed) to both ignore and
despise good books, good music, good film, for the self-evident
reason that real good artworks are *not* suitable for global mass
production and extra-fast megaprofit. Sou desu yo! Therefore
authors like myself often are called "bad writers" and our works
frequently are regarded as "bad fics". Well, presently
I am not sorry to have to say that I really don't know how to
produce "good fics" --- for I really have no interest in doing it.
Whenever I write, I sincerely concentrate all my energy and efforts
upon making good LITERATURE, i.e., a decently-done job.
I wrote Revolutionary Girl Sailorsaturn[BSSM],
To Whom I Give My Heart[EVA], Sayounara[SMJ], --- and all of them
are *not* "good fics". SMK is not a "good fic" either. If you're
still expecting to find an extra-cheap and easily-eatable story
in here, you're just in the wrong place.
Well, as I am sure others have pointed out, this tone is not the best way to
get people to read your fic or see you in a good light. By implying that you
are the exception that proves the rule, you presume groundlessly that fanfic
readers have poor general knowledge. You also expect us to simply accept
that you have a well-rounded body of knowledge. As anyone can tell you,
double negatives do not add up into a positive except in arithmetic. There
seems to be an almost petulant tone in the above statements. "All who like
my fic enjoy *real literature* while those that don't are plebians who can't
know any better." I would advise against this. Whether or not this was your
original intention, you make yourself sound like a spoiled child. I do not
know you well enough personally to render any such judgement but this is
what you convey yourself as in your words. Remember, true artists suffer for
their Art while poseurs make others suffer their "art".
"SAILOR MARIONETTE KNIGHT"
"No, this is not a nightmare, my dear odango atama", spoke Hotaru
to her rotten carbon-copy, whose naked body was being kept
"rotten carbon copy"? I gather from the later passage that this phrase
refers to Usagi. and yet I cannot elucidate why this turn of phrase is
appropriate. However since I am merely an undergraduate biomedical student,
it will come to me in later years as I attain a sufficient level of
comprehension. If anything Usagi and Hotaru are complementary personalities
with diagrammetically opposed powers.
immobilized, totally controlled by the irresistible mental power
of the avatara. Lying face up, Tsukino Usagi had been rendered
Perchance is that a mis-typed "avatar" as the Hindu term for the physical
incarnation of a diety?
uncomfortably numb: she could not open her eyes, she could not use
her mouth to cry for help, could not move her arms and legs.
All that she could do then was wait... Before this day, she and the
bionic girl had been one spirit that owned two souls and two bodies;
but now, the big error that Professor Tomoe had committed several
years ago was finally about to be corrected; from this moment on,
the two sailor-suited warriors did have to become one single and
brand-new entity.
I just know that Masume Shirow is responsible for that last phrase.
"Open your thighs wide", the cybernetic mistress calmly commanded;
Usagi's mind and body just could not help obeying, so she promptly
spread her lower limbs, showing the winged ark that contained her
holy grail, granting unlimited access to her sacred heart. Hotaru
pushed an unusual speculum into the five inch deep pink sheath of
Usagi, transforming in this manner that compressed empty space
into a fully-expanded cavity, and placed into Usagi's matrix
the output plug of an appropriate spiraled optical cable; then she
connected the input plug of the cable to her own navel.
After a pause of fifteen seconds, she did the same thing to herself:
connected the output plug of another cable to the maiden circuit
inside her womb and attached the second input plug to the belly
of the altered clone.
Symbols and allusions are meant to be used sparingly. This almost sounds
like a prophetic verse where the prophet tries to crouch his bets by placing
his predictions in the most obtuse way possible. Metaphors are meant to be
subtle, not as a way to bludgeon the reader into submission.
Soon afterwards, Hotaru exclaimed: "Angel Power, wake up!".
This action made Usagi feel the presence of a hard, hot and pulsating
cylindrical egg forming around the walls of her paradise city, and,
just as if it were a natural intromittent organ, the luminous
aethereal sword of Di�s little by little grew outwards, making its
shining head visible outside the vertical lips of her golden rose.
Hotaru experienced the same blissful sensation, most happy to see and
touch the blue seed that had just been born of the fiery wild fish at
the bottom of her spine... and even better, she was most happy to feel
that now her SuperSolenoid engine had been definitely made free to show
the whole splendor of its potency.
Wild mix of scientific, pseudoscientific and metephysical terms. Not very
workable and not very readable. It sounds like the plot of a bad hentai
anime as explained by a beatnik on Crack. (Not that I am saying beatniks are
usually on Crack, mind) and could be summed up in half the length with twice
the impact.
By last, the kami stated: "*IT'S DONE.*", and kissed the mouth of Usagi.
A glowing cloud made of bluish green ectoplasma rapidly appeared,
"ectoplasm" unless you were trying to invent your own new term for this
phenomenon.
protecting the ultrasonic Moebius ring from the eyes of the mortals;
The Moebius loop isn't made of sound any more than Schrodinger's Probability
waves are.
when it disapppeared seven minutes later, there was no Tsukino Usagi nor
Tomoe Hotaru anymore: the two females had been technomagically combined
into a new mechanical form of life --- the unexpected allmighty
reincarnation of... Agni, the Ram of Mars.
Hmm, delving into two seperate, obscure mythologies are we?
The job that she had to do was extremely simple: to save her planet.
That is to say, to stop the ones who were destroying their own
homeworld, and to prepare mother Earth for wellcoming a truly decent
type of people at last. There existed only one way to do this job: by
exterminating both the unforgivable insane part of mankind --- whose
stupid ways of living, acting and thinking were just and only a very
efficient way of raping, mutilating and poisoning the environment in
which it lived ---, and the abominable confederation of the
self-entitled "Enlightened Ones" --- these were the beings that had
created the human race, many thousands of years ago, by means of
badly-done genetical engineering, whose only and evident goal was to
produce conveniently useful puppets, dolls and marionettes from
corrupted versions of the genome of the Elohim. Riding the white flying
unicorn long known as Kalki, the newborn overgod codenamed Venus
left for her successful mission.
So our mutant rabbit-firefly is going to slaughter all of humanity, its
creators and usher in a new era? It sounds much like a power fantasy than
anything and the OAV Infurita would have been far more believable in that
role. Usagi and Hotaru would have been far better used as antagonists to
Infurita contrasting human passion against the cold, calculating logic of
the machine mind.
The year is 2012; the place: Toukyou, Niqpon; the month, December;
the day, 22nd; the moment: Saturday afternoon.
"Nippon" or "Nihon". Saturday afternoon is not a "moment", technically its
about six hours, from noon to twilight.
Well at the onset you stated that this is a "bad fic" as most people rate
fiction and sad to say, it is. The prose is too clunky, grammar is unsound
at places and overall its not very entertaining. It tries so hard to prove
that it is "intellectual" fare that it does the opposite. It sounds more
like the work of someone posing as an artiste rather than a bona fide
intellectual. The heavy use of symbols makes it read like something out of
EVA's Dead Sea Scrolls. I would recommend that you step back and examine the
work of the greats in literature. Not only did the stories they told
reverberate through the ages but they spun their tales with great technical
proficiency. The Bard's work is remembered because the stories they told are
full of drama, tragedy and comedy; the very stuff of the human condition. If
they had been couched in a wild plethora of allegorical terms, it is
debatable that the Bard would be remembered today. While he did use such
techniques, he used it with skill and grace. Not in every single sentence of
every paragraph.
I would also suggest acquiring a decent English-Japanese dictionary. The use
of Japanese here is almost painful.
Regards,
Mechamorph
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