Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Mon, 23 Sep 2002 00:05:11 +1200 R E <ranma_e@hotmail.com> wrote:
Well, here is chapter 8 - the first draft, at least. Due to some
unfortunate personal circumstances I haven't been able to dedicate as much
time to this as I would have liked, and I somewhat rushed the ending. I'm
very open to suggestions for improvement, as I'm guessing it will be a
revised version that becomes the final chapter 8. Still, I'm pretty pleased
with the chapter. It's a bit longer than the previous chapters, but not too
long. :)
"You didn't want to fall into the pond," Ranma continued, as Akane reached
toward the surface, lowering herself to one knee. "And so the water held
you."
That's going to make learning how to swim difficult. And apparently
unnecessary.
Akane flashed a smile, but did not speak; instead she launched herself
{forwards : forward}, driving her sword {forward :} in a strong stabbing motion. Ranma
reacted quickly, pulling herself aside and spinning with Akane's motion.
Raising one arm, she drew it back sharply, catching her opponent on the
back of the head as she flew past.
"No, no. Those were nothing," Ranma replied with a chuckle, waving her
hand dismissively. She paused for a moment, the mirth leaving her face as
she considered her words. "After ... after what happened with your mother,
I sealed my strength away. I promised myself that I wouldn't interfere
with the life of her daughter the way I interfered with {her own : hers}."
"Survive," Happosai replied with a weary smile. "Live long enough to find
out who your {enemy is : enemies are} and what they want. They hunt you for a reason, if
you can find out what that reason is, perhaps you can stop them."
Releasing her hold on Ukyo's hair, she pulled her sword free from the tree
trunk. The dull thud of Ukyo's head falling to the earth below resounded
through the clearing, followed only by silence. It was done.
I get the impression that Ukyo will get better. It will be interesting to
see how.
"Alpha reporting," he spoke, keeping his flashlight trained upon Ukyo's
body. "We have located the {seconadary : secondary} objective, but have not acquired the
primary."
I guess it doesn't pay Ranma to leave anything but ashes behind.
Considering her opposition, even those should be scattered widely.