Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Mon, 09 Sep 2002 15:54:49 -0400 "L.S McGill" <lsmcgill@hotmail.com> wrote:
Belldandy smiled. "It's what Kami-Sama created the Goddess Relief Office
for. My sisters and I find out what our clients wishes are and aid the
{ultimate force : Ultimate Force} in accomplishing them."
"But, we're famous! We're in every paper in Japan!" The red-bowed blonde
protested, "I've even got a {Manga : manga}!"
"That was weird." Sailor Moon said as Mars carried out the last few chants.
{ :}"How could she be able to deflect Venus's attack like that and not be able
to handle Jupiter's lightning bolt? And why did my healing have no effect
at all?"
Usagi suddenly got a big grin. "I know!" she said, her finger held up to
indicate her great idea. "We can take her to that new okonomiyki restaurant
in the Ginza! That'll make a great apology!" She beamed in happiness at
the thought.
I'm trying to remember if Usagi is dating Mamoru at this point. If not,
that cute guy running the restaurant would appeal to her.
Her warm-up routine took about twenty minutes, and her ankle gave her almost
no trouble, a sign she'd been unconscious at least a {few days : few hours : day}. She finished
with her workout and stood in front of the mirror on the folding screen,
examining herself. She seemed to have no burns, and her hair had only a few
frazzled ends. Somehow, she'd survived the bolt almost unscathed. Her eyes
locked for a moment on the slit pupiled eyes of her guardian in the
reflection of her tattoo and she smiled. Grandfather had asked for him to
watch over her, after all. She closed her eyes and concentrated for a
moment. When she opened them, the tattoo had vanished. Satisfied, she
reached up for the silk dress.
A few minutes later, she stepped from the room into a hallway. A quick
search along the hall showed her a small bedroom piled with clothes and lots
of thin books full of pictures and Japanese text. A second door led into
the main shrine area. As she stepped into the large room, she saw a girl on
the outer steps sweeping. The girl looked up at Zhu Shu's entrance, "Hello.
{ :}It's good to see you awake."
{Sailor Moon : Usagi} looked at her, a pair of chopsticks halfway to her mouth,
"Whatcha do that for? Now she'll recognize you."
It wasn't that she really minded that; she was discovering that it was
actually kind of refreshing to not have to pull a stretch because the cloth
of her dress bound, but Rei's grandfather was nearly as bad a hentai as
Ataru had been and she was having to get up at dawn to do her exercises
before he woke, otherwise she would have had to deal with him spying on her.
{ :}But at dawn, she had the small pool all to herself.
Zhu Shu tried to move, but the woman's gaze held her frozen. She felt like
a mouse fixated by a snake. The woman walked around her, looking her up and
down, "How interesting. You can actually sense my true nature?" she purred.
{ :}Zhu Shu shivered, "Usually, only priests like your fifteen year old
defender over there can do that."
"Please ... Upperclassman Kuno ..." Akane turned wide eyes towards the
kendoist, "if you really love this girl ... I won't stand in the way!" The
one hand poised below her mouth gave her a look of heartbreak barely hidden.
{ :}Zhu Shu had to admire the artistry.
Ke Lun stared down the narrow trail to the the mouth of the cavern under the
old Buddhist shrine. She nodded to herself. Well hidden and easily
defended, a natural spot for hiding. She could easily see how any
surviviors of Clan Dragon would have veiwed the secluded village as a haven.
{ :}Had she not had directions from Zhu Shu, she would have had to spend a day
or more finding the secluded mountain valley. While it was only a few days
from the Amazon village, it was outside of their normal territory, and
didn't carry on much trade with it's neighbors. Three hundred years ago, it
likely had been as hard to find as legendary Shangrila, and even now, the
road to the village was little more than a jeep track. Only the fact that a
local Magistrate for Quinghai {provence : Province} lived here had rated the construction
of a road at all.
Provence is a region in France that used to be a province.
Various paths led from the cave mouth to the {Shrine : shrine}, and to what looked to
be a meadow higher up. A small building stood at the entrance to the cave,
bearing a Chinese flag. Ke Lun smiled. It looked to be about as well
tended as the one at the PRC office in the Amazon village, though the house
adjoining it was neat and orderly. That would likely be the home of Sung
Po, the magistrate, an unusual member of the Communist {party : Party} in that he kept
the PRC influence in the {provence : area : province} to a minimum. He seemed to have no more a
wish for the "benevolent" rule of the PRC than the Amazons did.
She took a deep breath. The {Amazon's : Amazons} had failed in their oath then, and as
the leader in charge of the contingent that had been sent to Clan Dragon's
aid, she had felt that personally all these centuries. Zhu Shu had been a
godsend, a chance to redeem one of her failures. But there was much that
she had sensed that Zhu Shu had not been forthcoming about. A bitterness
she needed to get to the bottom of, and a seeming lack of certain knowledge
that she would have expected the heir of Clan Dragon to possess.
"Yet you did survive. Why did you not come to us? We would have defended
you."
The old man shook his head sadly, "From what we fled, no. We escaped
because no-one knew we survived."
What was after them besides the Musk? It seems odd that Ke Lun wouldn't be
aware that larger players were involved.
Akane smashed {another :} brick with a cry of "Ranma! You jerk!" and looked
around for another one, but that had been her last. Disappointed, she
kicked a piece into the koi pond and plopped down on a bench under a tree.
Again, their lips met. Zhu Shu had caught Ranma's foot just as he had begun
to move, and as a result, Akane's fist was straight out behind his head as
he found himself face to face and lip to lip with her.
I guess Zhu Shu's unarmed form has improved. :})
Kasumi came out of the kitchen to see Akane staring off into nothing, a
stunned expression on her face as she absently {pressed : touched} her lips, "Akane?"
she asked worriedly.
Authors Notes: Again, tried to streamline the story flow and correct a few
previously pointed out weak areas. The Ranma Canon scenes are present to
establish where other events occur in the timeline. I personally find a
{breif re telling : brief retelling} preferable to something like [Ranma {akane : Akane} meeting/bath
scene] like one suggestion.
I agree. Once Zhu Shu arrived, it also gave her a chance to discover
what's going on.