The prereaders have been sacked. Not one of them even got back to me on
this part! Line by line grammar/spelling nits are therefore welcome to be
picked.

The person responsible for the sacking of the prereaders has been sacked.

More seriously, sorry, but I was busy moving into my dorm and starting the
adaptation to college.

Specific points I'd like everyone to think about: Do you wantr to see more
of Nene's retraining, rather than hear about it? She's spent just shy of
three years in never-never land, despite it only being overnight as far as
the Mortal Realm is concerned. Going straight back to work is going to be a
bigger pain than she expects, not having done anything remotely similar
during that time, and she's in noticeably better shape than when she was
last htere a week or so ago. Second, there is big, crunchy lumps of
exposition scattered around in here. Suggestions on how to break them down,
if possible, are welcome.

I'd suggest a glimpse at the actual training, rather than mention of same.

"Definitely our daughter."

Bravo, Ne-chan.

"I see," Nene replied. "It's certainly beautiful here, strange animals and
all. I'm glad I've gotten to see it."

Nice worldbuilding, but it doesn't go anywhere. Perhaps a second new scene
later on, where the training team has to deal with some dangerous or amusing
facet of the local biota?

Uncoiling the furry brown appendage from her waist, Linna let it curl in
the air beside her as she regarded it for a long momnet, before turning
back to Nene and shrugging. "I dunno," she answered. "I've always had a
tail. It helps me balance and stuff, and I usually just tuck it under my
top when I go somewhere with Uncle Hibiki. He says most people don't  have
one, but that's okay..." She blushed slightly, but continued, "He says it's
cute because it's mine, and not to worry about it. I really should get
going, it'll be dark soon and he doesn't like it if I'm not back before
then. I had lotsa fun today Nene, will you come see me again soon?"

Groan. You weren't kidding about the boosted power levels, were you?

Letting the towels fall, she looked over her new appearance. It was almost
as if she'd gone half way to being an albino, with shimmering, steel-blue
hair (still her old midnight blue at the tips) that gave all signs of being
her new natural color, much paler skin, lavender eyes, and rosy pink lips.
Taking note of the cooling air, she left off the examination, and snuggled
back into the fluffy bathrobe.

That problem dealt with, she turned to the question of what to do with her
hair. It had grown out to perhaps half the length of her Cecilia
Ishioka-Wayne wig, and in fact matched the color fairly well save for the
darker tips. While she always had liked the way that wig looked on her,
having it that long wouldn't be practical for a hardsuit helmet - the main
reason for her former short 'do. Really, it was about as long as she could
reasonably keep it right now. *Ah well, it's hardly the most important
thing on the agenda,* she thought, picking up the pace back to her room and
the fresh outfit she knew would be waiting for her there.

Hail, Hail, and welcome to the year 2040.

Hmm. Now I have this sudden image of her going to a convention and 
cosplaying as
Ifurita.

"Mistress Wayne has asked me to explain her condition to you," he began,
"and I should start by saying that --" He cut off as an oily, blue-black
distortion formed in the air between himself and the others. As Nene and
her parents stepped out of it his eyes bugged out, his jaw dropped, and in
short order the rest of him followed, landing in a shocked pile on the
armchar he'd been standing in front of.

Vector's Expression: *Bong!*

"I see," Sylia murmured. Moving on slightly, she began, "That brings up
sonmething else - some good news for a change. During the battle, Mason
told me that he had only deduced my own identity when the demolition
charges were set off at Lady 633. Since Priss's ... unusual freind has
since shown up again and been disposed of, and since no investigation has
been made of the false fronts used for your phone calls, it should be safe
enough for the rest of you to resume your normal lives, cautiously.
Unfortunately, whether or not Mason told anyone about me, enough suspiciou
materials will be found in t e wreckage of the old headquarters building
that Sylia and Mackie Stingray will have to remain missing, presumed dead.
It's fortunate that I had already altered our records to hide the
connections to our mother's previous marriage, or the core of the
organization might have been exposed."

<moisha> And that would just, like, suck, y'know? </moisha>

she liked it all the same - a little slice of freedom) while Lou, Mina,
Hyatt, Dot and herself were in normal off-duty uniforms.

Dot? Matrix?

Meg quickly called them to order so she coul explain the plan she'd come up
with. "I know I've talked to all of you before about what we're planning,
but I wanted to get everyone together at once to see if anyone could come
up with problems we haven't seen yet, or better solutions to what we have.
First off, I managed to find the schedule for the project you're gonig to
be waiting for on the moonbase, Sylvie and Anri, so we have some idea of
when you'll be back - it looks like it won't be until April, which should
give the rest of us time to set everything up. The project seemsto have
been right on schedule since the beginning, and it's only waiting for the
components you'll be bringing for final assembly. At that point it'll be
loaded into the Orca II and delivered to Earth, with only a short layover
here for refueling after the transfer from lunar orbit. Naturally, that's
where the rest of us get on."

It was Orca IV, IIRC.

"Well, that's the best I could comme up with... We're lovers with roses,
not soldiers with guns, but it may be the only chance we'll have. If anyone
has better ideas, this is the time for them, while our pilots are here."

Damn, but I like that song.

"Nothing says love like high caliber weapons," concurred Mina cheerfully.

If you really want Mina to be a Minako impersonator, then she shouldn't
have gotten that right.

Recording the human's rambling story mainly in the hope that it might
somehow assist in peicing together some part of its scrabled archives, the
badly damaged Royal Guardian sat silently and continued repairing itself.

Yeah! Niichigo!

Be sure you tune in next time, when Sylia resurrects a long-lost part of
her daddy's legacy to combat the Griffon. No, not Katsuhito Stingray, her
*biological* father. Only on Bubblegum Disaster!

You better be planning to use the one from the Animate Series.

No, Linna isn't getting stronger in her sleep because she's dreaming her
way to the Kagami estate training grounds, she's just connecting with the
ki flows that Kami-sama straightened out for her. Since that aspect of
things is operating under martial arts show rules, all she requires is
refamiliarization and practising control with the big chunk of pure
life-force she now has available to go way up the power scale. Given that
this version of Linna was already in the kind of physical condition that
real-world atheletes can only dream of, I'm sure you can imagine for
yourself where she's headed. If not, it gets spelled out very clearly by
the time the DD shows up, so you won't have to hold your breath too long.

Badass Linna! Yay! I feel kind of sorry for her future boyfriends, though.

Mina, Hyatt, and Dot - yes, these are 20-something versions of Minako of
Sailor Moon, Hyatt of Excel Saga, and R. Dorothy of The Big O in cameo

Dorothy? Oh.

That's kind of disappointing, actually. Ms. Matrix really does fit the
pattern a little better, and not just physically. After all, she did have
to play 'games' in canon.

roles. Hey, at least they get a little more screen time then Belldandy did,
right? I was actually tempted to switch all the sexaroids around and retcon
Cynthia to be the Inner and Outer Senshi, and make Mamoru and Setsuna the
couple Sylvie... meets... in the park. But, that would be crossig over for
the sake of crossing over, which I'm bound and determined not to do, and of
course everyone would be getting on my case for killing most of the
Senshi... All in all, a bad scene, even if it might eventually give me the
option of using the attack phrase "Venus Special Beam Cannon, FIRE!"

All that you need to create that line is to have Mina think she's, hmm,
a "technological reincarnation of Aphrodite" who is unfortunately required
to make do with mechanical appendages to attain her true powers.

C'mon. Tell me you can't see Minako thinking that.

_Dykstra's War_ is by Jeffery D Kooistra, published by Baen Books.

I need to buy that sometime.

Ah well.

Blessed be.
-n




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