Jinkies! I almost passed this one up:

     Her heart pounded frantically as she ran down the alley, the
beat of pursuing footsteps a breath behind her.

Pursuer: Lady! *Gasp* You forgot your *Gasp* purse!

 Taking a corner

as fast as she could she

could, she ( I think)

 desperately looked for a place to hide

but lost the opportunity as the men rounded the corner in chase.

'in chase' reads awkwardly. I'd either drop it or rephrase that.

     Again she ran, her lungs burning as her body screamed in
exhaustion and more, trying to loose them.  Taking another corner
she slipped and found herself crashing headlong into a wall
before bouncing backward to fall to the ground.  Rolling to her
hands and knees she tried to stand, fear giving her strength
where there was none to be found, and then she was reeling
backward into the wall once again as someone punch

punched

Pursuer: That's what you get for making me chase you. Now take the damn
purse!

     * * * * * * * * * *               * * * * * * * * * *

     The raindrops felt almost warm

almost warm? I'd drop almost

     Her benefactor knelt beside her, blocking out the candles
direct light, and she was finally able to open her eyes without
pain.

Does seem a bit sensative to light.

     Water was given to her, which she drank, and then more
broth, this time thickened with soft vegetables.  She tried to
make out the features of the woman who tended her, but couldn't,
as the candles

candle's

 weak light only defined her outline, too weak to

do much else.

     When the broth was finally gone,

'finished' would be better, IMO

     In the darkness beyond the

might need a comma between 'beyond' and 'the'

     The woman was young, barely into womanhood,

Her caretaker was young (something other than woman, since you use
'womanhood' later. I recommending chanign at least one of them.

     As she watched Cherry begin to fuss over a teapot, she
finally felt the tears come.  Why?  Who was this woman, who took
in the refuse of

off

? the street and nursed them back to health?

Obviously she's a garbage collector. :)

     Striding across the small room in only a couple of steps he
turned, then settled himself down across from her, and a shiver
ran through her as the man faced her.

Hmm. Because he's familiar, or she still fears men.

     "Is it good to see you up."

It is

     She hardly noticed Cherry sitting down next to her, as she
watched the other woman slowly, almost stumbling, towards Satoru
with another breakfast tray.  Eyes widening she finally
recognized the woman for what she was... a marionette.

Ah, so it's that far in the future. I see now. I suspected it was sooner.

     Built in the image of women, marionettes were robots
designed to help with housework and errands, at least until women
were finally reintroduced to the world by cloning back at the
beginning of the fourth century.  Production of them had been
halted over a hundred years ago, and those remaining had become
far and few as spare parts became hard to come by.

How odd. At the very least I would think they would keep some form of robot
around to do highly dangerous or mundane tasks.

     She'd only seen one once before, and this one was in
excellent repair, it's features still carefully sculpted into the
visage of a delicate woman.

     It had to be older then anyone she knew alive.

Since they stopped building them over a hundred years ago, that would
logically follow. :)

     "I think it would be best to move you to the front porch,
Lilly, to enjoy the fresh air and sun.  There is a comfortable
chair there, and I am told that today should hold pleasant
weather."

     Another "Yay!" announcing Cherry's presence behind her, she
suddenly felt herself being picked and

picked up

     Shaking her head at the shear

sheer

     "Yes.  She is an extremely generous soul."  With a sidelong
glance at her he added, "And sometimes pays the price for it."

Hmm.

     The elderly man paused, looking at her, before saying, "You
are in Old Town, Japoness proper."  With a wave of his hand he
added, "And this is Cherry Lane, quiet likely the most peaceful
location in the entire city."

     "As to why you are here... only Cherry can answer I

answer, I

     After they finally settled back down again, she laid there
staring in the darkness until a soft snoring announced Cherry's
slumber.  And it was only then that she let the tears come, as
she prayed to Kami that she didn't mess up this last chance given
to her.

Hmm. Almost sounds like Cherry collects people for the street. :)

     A still pained look on her face the injured woman replied,
"Not at all, and my thanks.  Anna must have been looking for
Cherry.  I'm glad she found you, though."  Right about then,
three near identical wails started up in the next room.

Heh

     Smiling she left to the next room to find the triplets
crying.  Shaking her head, she picked the first one up and took
her to her mother, helping the both of them settle in, before
going back for the next.

     Coming back she found Rei standing there with a block of ice
in her hands,

Heh

and sighing in exasperation her

drop 'her'

     It had ended up working out well.  Mr. Hiroshi had been more
then happy with the arrangements, after he'd finally quit fussing
over his wife, and Cherry had been happy as well.  Over the next
few days she found herself enjoying the fulltime

full-time (I think)

     Pushing past a couple people who were standing around in
shock Lilly covered her mouth as she ran into the store, peering
around in the smoke that was already beginning to thicken.
Seeing nobody there she started heading towards the stairs when
another explosion above her shook the building, and several
ceiling beams fell blocking the stairs.

Oops

     She briefly tried to move them, and failing that she yelled
"Is there anybody up there?!" as loud as she could, but go

got

     She watched as Cherry's eyes suddenly flared to life with a
bright greenish glow, and with a yell the young woman slammed her
open hands against the building in an effort to stop it's fall.

its

     And succeeded.

     Bye

By

 then, several men had stretched a fishing net out

between them and started yelling, and a moment after that the man
that Cherry had taken with her jumped out, trying to hold an
elderly person against him as he fell into the waiting net.

     After the rough landing, everyone began pulling back and
away from the now raging building, all the while with Cherry
acting as it's

its

     Just as she turned to Lilly herself, however, Cherry
suddenly stopped as a glazed expression suddenly crossed her
face.  A second later, her shoulders actually split open as her
arms shifted down a couple inches, followed by a large venting
blast of heated air.  As soon it finished, her arms returned to
their normal shape, and Cherry slowly fell forward to crash into
the ground.

     But Lilly missed that part, as she had already passed out.

Heh. I'm sure they make quite the pair.

     As Rei slowly walked out, Anna turned towards her and just
said, "Go with her, Lilly.  Hayashi will explain, better then
anyone else."

And we shall receive the missing information as well. :)

     Looking from her to Rei the elderly man finally said, "You
can go home now, Rei.  I'll take Lilly inside."  Watching as the
marionette walked away, she turned backs

back

     Looking hurt, and confused, Cherry touched her struck cheek
while quietly saying, "But... but there aren't anymore wars.
They said so."  And then turning towards Satoru, who had suddenly
appeared in the doorway, she pleaded, "You said so.  You said
they didn't happening anymore.  Right?"

Hmm. Interesting.

     "But they promised!"  Flinching backward as Cherry suddenly
jumped to her feet, she watched as the marionette yelled, "The...
the piece of paper everyone signed... THEY PROMISED!  I
REMEMBER!" and then took off running around the building.

     The second she was gone, Lilly found herself the target of a
look that conveyed nothing but pure hatred as the Satoru-san
whispered, "Damn you, damn you to hell.  You've killed her."

Eh?

     Suddenly the whole house shook, and Lilly watched as Cherry
literally exploded from the side of the building to land on the
Hiroshi's rooftop across the street, only to immediately leap
again.

     And then she was gone.

Hmm. To help try to end the war, eh? Interesting ending. Of course you'd
think Sataru would have warned Lilly not to say anything about and cook up
some excuse as to why. But then it wouldn't have had the ending it did. Nice
emotional piece. Not what I expected, but I certainly enjoyed it. Nice work.

D.B. Sommer




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