"Cute Kitsune Kaydee" <fox1@colla.com> wrote:

Disclaimer : I don't smegging own them.

If you're going to write a disclaimer, write a disclaimer. Save the
attempts at humor for the fic and give serious credit for the characters
to Rumiko Takahashi and whoever created Red Dwarf. (As the latter would
be a spoiler, you might want to move it to end notes.)

[grammar and general writing issues deferred, as there's a more major
problem I have with this]

Ranma has the body of a black man with dreadlocks in hair. Ranma gets the
memories of the man who drowned there then and some'a his personality.

Ranma charges toward genma yelling , "Oyagi you smegging idiot fool! When I
get my hands on you I'm gonna make you pay big time like! I'm gonna force
you to listen to rimmer's record collection for a few hours then!"

The problem with this is that you've stopped at the "I've got an idea"
stage. Nothing wrong with ideas; you can't write a fic without one. But
BY THEMSELVES, they aren't worth a whole lot, until you show some
consequences of them, show that they lead somewhere interesting.

Ranma turns into Henry Kissinger.

Ranma turns into "Crackers, the corporate-crime-fighting chicken".

Ranma turns into the guy from Monty Python who says "Is your wife a
goer? Know what I mean, nudge nudge?"

You can go on and on like this until doomsday. It doesn't mean a thing
unless you can show something funny (or poignant, or exciting, or
dramatic -- whatever sort of payoff you're going for) that RESULTS from
the idea.

***

[Furinkan grounds]

RANMA: I vill oader de deliffery of foah t'ousand tons of explosives....

AKANE: Isn't that a bit extreme? I mean, it *is* annoying when they
fight me every morning, but....

***

[The offices of Shogakukan, Inc.]

SECRETARY: Excuse me, sir, but there's a man-sized chicken outside who
insists on seeing you. Something about a violation of the terms of Ms.
Takahashi's contract?

EXECUTIVE: Curses! I thought I could get away with it!

[Cut to cartoonist's studio]

TAKAHASHI: I wouldn't publish it, but... heh heh heh.

***

[Tendo backyard]

RANMA: Damn it, Ryoga, you... you PIG! You slept in Akane's bed! You
slept with MY FIANCEE!

** SPLOOSH **

RANMA: So... what's it like?

***

Hey, Adrian would've written these if I hadn't. :P

See the difference between something like this and just having Ranma say
"Oh no! I've turned into _____________!" and ending there?


Gary Kleppe
http://www.akane.org/gary/comics.html

             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'