On Sat, Jun 22, 2002 at 10:07:12PM -0400, Sam Vilsmeier wrote:
The problem with most fics like this is not the ultimate goal, but the
transition from the canonical Ranmaverse to the fic. It's just way too
abrupt, considering that canonical Ranma seems to prefer the status quo.
Why is Ranma now thinking this way?
It will show a slower transition. He didn't get up and say "fuck you
Nerima!!!!" like he does in most ficts, he just made a non-standard choice
that will lead him away from the normal situation. Remember these things in
refrence:
#1) He's 19 in this, it take place between three years after he arived in
Nermia, enough for his opinion of the situation to change.
Nermia, yet?
Anyway, he could also have decided to shave his head and go off to the
mountains to become a monk in those three years. Why didn't he?
What he decides to do with himself in those three years isn't really the
issue. The issue is that the reader can connect the 'new' Ranma to the
'old' one without a jarring "WTF???" type reaction.
#2) He's upset. No one remembered his birthday, and it made him even more
depressed.
You haven't answered David's question here, though. Why didn't anybody
remember his birthday? It seems a little farfetched to me.
#3) He's kinda drunk. Enough to remove some inabitions.
Smells like... booze!! Also smells like a cheap plot device.
#4) Ranma's a TOTAL sucker for people that are actually NICE to him.
To a certain extent. But he's also tremendously uptight, and tends to get
nervous in sexually charged situations. I can more easily see him running
away from a strange woman who offers herself to him than going along with
it.
I don't know where you plan to take this, but having a hackneyed opening
that repeats the same mistakes as almost every other fic of its ilk does
not
seem very auspicious to me.
Any sugestions? : \
Well, if you want to take the easy way out, there are at least a couple of
options:
- Add more explanation about why Ranma is in the state of mind that he is.
- Alter the circumstances by which he meets Setsuna.