From: "Thermopyle" <Thermopyle@tds.net>
To: "Kenji Murasaki" <nexuspost@hotmail.com>
CC: <ffml@anifics.com>
Subject: [FFML] Re: [C&C] [Xover][Ranma][Key: The Metal Idol] Key to the
Heart: Chapter One
Date: Sat, 15 Jun 2002 23:29:25 -0500
----- Original Message -----
From: "Kenji Murasaki" <nexuspost@hotmail.com>
To: <Thermopyle@tds.net>
Cc: <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Saturday, June 15, 2002 10:00 PM
Subject: [C&C] [Xover][Ranma][Key: The Metal Idol] Key to the Heart:
Chapter One
Still, he was expecting an attack from Akane and possibly Ryouga, >>> if
he'd shown back up yet, as soon as he got home, which is why he
Might want to change 'if he'd shown back up yet,' to 'should he >> show
up,'.
'should he show up' sounds more like Ryouga would show up and simply >
attack, to me. If Ryouga was already around, he might get mad at > Ranma
because he knows Akane is upset with him. Does that make > sense? ^_^;
Indeed it does. Kay then. ^_^
Inside were two men and a girl, all three staring at him. One of >>> the
'Inside were two men and a girl, all three staring at him.'
-should be--> 'Inside were two men and a girl; all three staring at >>
him.'
Yup. Or, 'girl. All three...'
Yeah, but then you'd have to add a pesky linking verb, and I like to avoid
the little buggers. Guess we all have grammar quirks. ^_^;
"Key...is leaving," said a quiet, mechanical sounding voice. The
might want to switch mechanical with monotone instead. Mechanical >>
brings to mind Alpha 5, which should really never be brought to >>
anyone's mind. ^^;
I have no idea what Alpha 5 is. I just picked mechanical because it >
seemed to fit Key. ^_^;
Either your a very fortunate person, or Power Rangers was so traumatizing
that you blanked it from your mind. *snrk*
Would he actually know her name, considering her grandfather made >> it up
for her, or did he make it up for her in this alternate
story? Well, more notes on questioning canon at the end of the >> story.
Hmm? It was what he was calling her in the prologue. If you missed >
that, it's at my webpage, http://thermopyle.anifics.com --you might > want
to read it. It's quite a bit better than chapter one, IMO, as
far as the writing goes. ^_^;
Must've overlooked that. Don't mind my blindness, then. ^_^;
> Would he actually know her name, considering her grandfather made it up
for
> her, or did he make it up for her in this alternate story? Well, more
notes
> on questioning canon at the end of the story.
Well, it doesn't fit because the story is going to be rather serious > and
somewhat angsty. Having Akane be violent like that ruins the
tone of the fic and it doesn't work with what her role will be
within it.
That's good news, though from the initial paragraphs of the chapter, as well
as the end of it, you've fixed a path that's not entirely pacifist for
Akane. ^_^;
I'm sure that can be cleared up when she gets a better look at Tokiko in the
next chapter though.
Anyway, comments are definitely appreciated, especially >>>
thoughts/questions on the actual content. :)
I really like this story. It's attempting to blend two VERY
different characters (both of whom happen to be some of my
favorites), and shows good potential in doing so. The main
things I could see coming in conflict with the story are
only two:
Um. Attempting to blend which two characters? :)
Yeah. Like this:
SAKURA/AKANE: Fuuuusion... HA!
*explosion/flashes/special FX*
SAKANE: Now let's see about getting you that job, Key!
KEY: Er... Key does not think that would be wise--
SAKANE: Do it or die.
KEY: Eep.
... Well, not to that point. I actually meant the mixing the serious,
dramatic tones of Key with the slapstick, comedy light-heartedness of Ranma.
^_^
Um. From what I remember, the anime wasn't that clear (I never knew >
there was a manga for Key--are you sure about that?). Key faints
fairly regularly in the series, but it usually happens after using
her powers. She's also shown to stay up at night when Sakura is
sleeping, and she does her whole recharging in the sun thing... I
kinda got the impression that she was awake for long periods of
times before simply collapsing. Also, remember that in the end
of ep one or beginning of ep two, I forget which, Sakura looks
over at Key when they stop running from the pornographer guy.
Sakura is completely out of breath, but Key is fine. Sakura
comments that it must be because Key is a robot, or something
of the sort. I'm going with that idea here. She can keep
going at unexpected levels--she just collapses eventually.
Her belief that she is a robot sustains her for quite a ways.
Robots don't get tired, after all.
Plus, this also has something to do with the manner in which I'm
fusing the two worlds involved.
1) I thought I remembered the artist mentioning a manga in the DVD
interview, but oh well. I'll look it up later. *shrug/lazy*
2) You're right about the intones of her fainting spells and exertion
promblems. She did constantly either go without sustainence and sleep for
gruelling periods and pass out, or do that kewl telepathic thing and then
pass out. It's hard to remember because Key isn't as fresh in my mind as it
was when I first saw it. Guess that means it's time for another marathon.
^-^
The feeling of this series will follow that of the Key: TMI anime,
not that of the Ranma manga/anime. It's going to be serious.
The bit about Akane going to the same school as Key will be
explained. I'm going with something that is, I think, fairly
believable as a past event in the Ranma storyline. Of course,
it's serious just like the tone of this fic is so it won't
quite fit canon Ranma but the events themselves are quite
in-line with what happens in the Ranma manga.
Well, I'll be looking forward to it. Should make for a good show. ^_^
- Kenji M. (KMurasaki@Hotmail.com)
Kenji's Nexus:
http://www.geocities.com/nexuslink
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