Subject: [FFML] Re: [Ranma/Multi] Enemies of the Crystal State, Chapt three
From: druid
Date: 4/18/2002, 2:09 AM
To: noirchloe
CC: ffml@anifics.com


| The three stopped and watched the old man removed a large jar from his
| lapels,
| but it might as well have come from thin air for the size was too large to
| actually fit in his coat without being seen.
|
| "I can't let you place your lovely bodies in harms way!"  Removing the
lid,
| he
| sent the contents at their feet, yelling, "Lovely Goddesses Safety
| Treatment!"
|
| Venus cringed and tried to jump back, only to have the liquid cover her
feet
| and
| legs.  After the momentary flinch, she glared at the obnoxious man who was
| standing in front of them and looking extremely pleased with himself.
|
| "What the hell...?!"  Mars yelled from next to Venus.
|
| Venus attempted to move, only to find her feet pinned in place as the
liquid
| hardened fastening her feet in place.

   Looks like your reformat wasn't completely effective. Most of it worked,
but not all.

| He snorted, dismissing the man from his mind and jumped off the hand,
| continuing
| his.  He ignored the sound of the hand being retracted, concentrating on

   continuing his what? BTW, not paraphrase of the original
Trigun episode, it works well for me.


| passing.  Dismissing the incongruity between Vash's mannerisms and Ranma's
| knowledge of the man, he swiftly continued towards the wreckage.

   Ouch.

| boy came running out of it, as it parted to give him free access, like
they
| the
| people were afraid to impede him at all.  His face was a twist in lustful

  like they the? Perhaps you meant, "likely the people," or "like they were"
perhaps.

| His face was a twist in lustful expectation, an expression Saturn

face was twisted in

| Saturn blinked.  "Pops!?" she yelled simultaneous with her comrades.  The
| boy
| stood a few inches taller than the man did.  There was also the extreme
age
| difference.  The Mayor appeared a century over the age of death, much too

   Heh, cute description of his age, I like it.

| ancient for child bearing.  The fleeting thought of the process that was

   Minor nit, men can't BEAR children, they can only sire them.

| "Don't you dare you bastard," Mars growled.
|
| "Your outfits are almost perfect, Dearie, but not quite," the Mayor said
| lecherously.  Shivers traveled down Saturn's spine as she heard the
scissors
| being employed and Mars' screams of outrage and profanity.

   Um, why don't they try to blast, or at least hit them?

| unveil it.  A lifetime of riches awaited him, what did he care what the
| townspeople thought, or Kanami for that matter.
|
| As long as she was safe.  That's all that mattered.  He absently rolled
his

   Again, ouch.

| hand over his wrist, his fist.  The gift, or curse, that had helped them
| survive was waiting for it's called.  It hadn't let him down yet, it was

either - waiting to be called, or - waiting for it's moment.

Something like that at any rate.

| They neared the small plaza that the restaurant resided on.   Kazuma
leaned
| forward in his seat, hands gripping the roll bars, ready to pull himself
up
| and out of the vehicle in a moments notice if needs be.

   if need be.

| "Saotome Tandem Attack!  Now!"  Vash's yell jarred Ranma from his
momentary

   VERY interesting!

| Faster than most people could see, Vash threw four tiny throwing daggers,
| embedding them all into one side of the flying fist as he hurtled towards
| it.

   Huh?

| Ranma stopped to watch the spectacle, too far removed to be of any
| assistance.
| He noticed the wires that were attached to the throwing-knives and led
into
| the
| folds of Vash's coat as the approached impact with the fist.

   Well, that's certainly different from what I would have expected. Ah
well,
Guess I got stuck on the original.

| A pleased expression adorned the maroon-headed boy's face, as he felted
his

   as he hefted his?

| the upped arm, just below the shoulder.  He otherwise appeared normal,
| shabby clothing consisting of a gray and silver jack covering worn pants
and

silver jacket

| anatomy that should be covered, she growled, as she again trued to keep
her

   again tried

| Enraged past her endurance, she watched as they defamed the youngest of
her
| friends, the baby of the group, the member of their team they protected
| almost as fiercely as the protected their Queen.  She was now under attack
| and Mars was standing here, useless in protecting her friend.

   Poor Mars, I feel sorry for her, and of course for Saturn and Venus too.

| "Die!"  The impromptu attack phrase was all the warning Venus needed to
| duck, as the solid ball of molten flame flew at the young man, whose head
| was buried in Saturn's chest, while Saturn's free hand grasped for
juvenile

   for the juvenile

| violator.
| "Sorry."  Venus hung her head and began to flick the remaining paint of
her

   Should probably be glue, not paint.

   off of her

| legs.
| energy to save people's lives.  The ability had come in extremely handy
| during the first few years of the war, allowing her save countless lives
in

   her to save

|
| A sudden movement by the person he was entangled with and he found his
nose
| stuck into the folds of his unknown assailant, a place he knew it
shouldn't
| be.  He gasps involuntarily, inhaling a rich aroma and small fine hairs.
He
| closed his eyes as the person apparently sat up, using his face as a
sitting
| stool.

   Oi! What a situation! Heh

| come by town, looking to pluck their meager belongs from them.  His later

  His alter

| "Kazu-kun..."
|
| "So, you know now...  Well, that's fine. "
|
| "Kazu-kun," she said worriedly.
|
| "No!  It's Kazuma, The Shell Bullet."  He took a couple steps away.  "I've
| got to go do some stuff."
|
| She watched as he ran off, leaving her stunned and confused.

   Grrr.... Kazuma was always a bit of an idiot, isn't he?

| Venus had run after the others as quickly as she could, arriving on the
| scene as Mars tumbled on the ground with Ranma.  As she winced in, she

   winced in sympathy?

| "Will you girls just stay the Hell out of my fight!"

   If you meant to capitalize hell, you should probably do the whole
word that way.

    I'll get to the rest later.

Druid
druid@bigplanet.com





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