Going to slightly only a month away:

Also, I'm experimenting with a different sort of style than what
most may be accustomed to in my normal works. The humor is a bit
more subdued than, say, NETTG or Heart of Sugar. This is more
geared towards those that have found my other stuff a bit too
silly for its own good.

Always a good idea to flex the old creativity muscle every once and a while.

I don't want to give away too much before actually starting the
story, but from what I can tell, some will like it, and others
won't enjoy it so much. It's all a matter of taste.

Like everything else

A young man trudged his way through the gloom.

It was probably the worst Tuesday of his entire life.

Not counting the one where he died.

It was not so much that the day was not bright and sunny; the
temperature hovered around seventy-six degrees Fahrenheit and not
a single cloud graced the entire skyline. People were even walking
through the streets of the city with broad and cheerful smiles on
their faces.

Moreover, birds were chirping.

I'd throw that in the paragraph above.

"Hey, watch it!" someone called from behind the boy.

Kato spun around to face the speaker.

It was the Juice himself

Oh, not Kato Kaelin? Nevermind. :)

 The man was over a foot

and a half taller than him, had black hair, and had on a gray jacket.
A dark pair of sunglasses hung from the pocket of his jacket. The guy
had to be somewhere around twenty to twenty-four.

The black-haired man had apparently caught one of the more
jagged edges of the paper in the eye, considering that his left one
was closed and he winced in obvious discomfort.

Ouch

"Why?"

"I'm a wimp and I always trip over my own feet before I can
throw a punch or try to kick. I have absolutely zero tolerance for
pain, no strength, and everyone laughs at me. Stuff like that."

That would do it.

The elder male shook his head. "You should have a little more
self-confidence,

He does. He has confidence in his self getting beaten up when he tries to
fight.

Yes, it was a typical sort of experience. He'd go to school,
nearly nod off at Haruna-sensei's boring lectures, and then he'd go
home. It didn't matter what route he took; wherever he went, the thugs
were sure to follow. They wanted his lunch money, but since it was
always after school that they hit him, he never had any. So, what they
did was simply beat him up and yell at him to get a job.

Heh

Kato rubbed his bruised cheek, muddling over the insanity of
his life. He supposed that one day, he could complain to the police
and get the whole thing taken care of, but would that really solve
anything?

Yes. Jail solves many problems, as long as you're not the one in them.

The pitter-patter of little feet grew closer and passed

The boy looked down at the cat sympathetically. "You too, huh?"

The cat tried to stand, but it wobbled around and fell back
down. It had a pair of Band-Aids covering its poor little bruised
forehead.

Heh. Interesting

The boy had a sneaking suspicion that his parents might really
be wealthy too, but they always violently denied it, especially when
he asked for money to spend at the arcade. Money doesn't grow on
trees, they always explained. His arguments that it did since the
bills were made of paper didn't seem to improve things much.

That would be grows from trees, not on them.

"Ooof!" The ten-foot-tall bald thug almost had the wind
knocked out of him from the force of the impact.

Hopefully he's a cat lover and will let him pass.

next instant found that his fist had crashed straight into Nappa's
face.

*KEEERUUUNCCCHHH!* The sound of cartilage cracking

My. Hard shot.

Vegeta's eyes widened for a second before he regained his
confident smirk. "Fighting back, are we? This behavior must not be
tolerated!" He placed two fingers at his lips and blew, creating a
very loud whistle.

Summoned by the whistle, a pack of wild dogs attacked Vegeta.

The receptionist sized him up. "Hmmm, does your pet have an
appointment, young man?"

Kato: No. He only had a rotery phone and his paws didn't fit in the holes.

The nerd nodded. "Yes. Have you heard that Sailor V caught
another bank thief this morning?"

"Who?"

"Sailor V. She's some masked vigilante out fighting crime in
a short-skirted sailor suit. She's the talk of the town!"

Heh. This should be real fun. For a moment I wondered if the scouts would
all be guys.

"She's alive!" the vet called. "ALIVE!"

Heh

"Actually," Kato added, "without all the blood and junk on you,
you're kind of a cute kitty."

Kato: I've got some hamsters I'd like to introduce you to.

"What?" Kato guessed quickly.

"My Mom's gone berserk," Naru said. "She's having a sale and
started to sell jeweled daggers, shot puts, and all sorts of weird
things at rock-bottom prices!"

Hehehehe

Naru sighed. "We've known each other for years, and you've
always been the same. Maybe someday you'll grow out of it, but at
this point, I doubt it." She patted him on the shoulder. "Take your
cat home and get some rest. Honestly, you're always picking up these
half-dead things and taking them home. Most of 'em didn't last too
long, but maybe this time you'll be able to keep this one alive. Not
like when you kept forgetting to feed that little bunny of yours."

The cat wet itself.

Naru took a step forward, as if something else had occurred to
her. "Say, what's your cat's name?"

The blue-uniformed boy stopped and looked over his shoulder. "I
don't know. I was thinking about naming it Mokona, Ryo-Ohki, Puar,
Oolong, or something like that."

What's wrong with Nuku-Nuku? :P

Seated on the throne was one who could only be described as
a titan among men. Muscles upon muscles adorned his massive frame.
Pectorals bulged against his purple-stained chainmail. Legs, arms
and neck displayed a stunning array of juts and mounds. A lock of
red hair poked out of the front of his giant, horned helmet.

Well, another change, I see.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, GENERAL JADEITE?" Beryl asked,
motioning with his free hand at the woman's attire.

"Umm!" General Jadeite yelped in fright. She looked down at
what she was wearing. It was a dark grey leotard with green trim, tan
stockings, and a white puffball bunny-tail a little below the small
of her back. "It's the latest thing in Dark Imperium military
fatigues. Do you like it, Your Majesty?" She posed for him to get
the full effect.

Heh. Beryl will have his hands full

---

Kato's mother let him back in after a couple of minutes, giving
the boy the chance to carry the cat back up to his room where they
could have a proper conversation.

So she regards talking to cats as a step in the right direction? :)

Something else occurred to Kato. "Oh! Do you have a name? Can
I call you Mokona?"

"I think my name is Luna," the injured cat replied hesitantly,
but brightened after some thought, "but you can call me anything you
like, cutey!"

Is she in heat, or what? ^_^

"Oh, that's nice," Kato said, then held up his cat. "Look at
this, my cat talks."

"Meow?" Kato's kitty said in a surprised voice.

Shingo: Wow! You can get it to meow on command. I'm impressed. Most people
can't get cats to do anything, even that.

"Ah, yes. Ahem! Kato-kun, we are going to sing both parts of
'Row, Row, Row Your Lunar Gondola,' to prove that I am, in fact, a
talking cat."

Heh. Anything is better than hearing Shatner, Nimoy, and Kelly try and do it
though. :)

Kato frowned at his kitty. "You mean you don't care if people
find out about that? I mean, if I were a talking cat, I'd try to keep
it a secret."

"Humph, well, if people knew that I was special, they probably
wouldn't mistreat me so badly, would they?

Too true.

"Oh yeah!" Luna perked up. "Thanks again for rescuing me. You're
really someone special." She giggled and rubbed her furry head against
Kato's arm. "I guess it was kind of hard for you to do all you did--"

"And pay the bills," Shingo added, looking at his brother. "Did
you spend -everything- you had fixing up this cat?"

Luna: Please don't use the term 'fixed' when refering to me.

Luna crashed into the top of the chest of drawers. Fortunately,
she got a soft landing since the boy never put his clothes away until
his mother screamed at him to do so.

Heh

"Oooh, wait," Shingo added, examining the disc close-up,
"this is like one of those things that they say Sailor V uses.
Except she uses a compact. Or maybe it was a pen..."

A quill pen. Which was an improvement over the original design, which
employed an anvil.

"Not now, Kato! I'm on a roll here!" Shingo rolled his eyes,
then looked at the cat. "Sailor V goes around fighting crime in a
multicolored school uniform that's, like, a couple sizes too small
for her," he explained. "She always wears a mask that looks like a
pair of big, obnoxious red glasses, and she's gone all around the
country and's

'and'

"And gives her some kind of funky magical powers," Shingo
added. "They say she shoots laser beams out of her compact and
has patented moves like the Sailor V Kick."

Kato: You mean I could get superhuman powers and avenge myself on those that
wronged me? Cool.

Kato looked at Luna, who nodded thoughtfully. The boy pursed
his lips for a second, then opened his mouth to speak. He hesitated,
remembering something important that had been mentioned. "Wait a
sec, this isn't going to do anything weird, like turn me into
something I don't wanna be, is it?"

Kato: Like a Spice Girl or something.

The elder brother held up the gold brooch. "This isn't gonna
turn me into a girl or anything like that, is it?"

Luna froze, shocked by the idea. After a while, she laughed and
waved a paw, shaking her head. "Oh, don't be silly, Kato-kun! I'd
never give something to a handsome boy like yourself that'd turn you
into..." She giggled again/ "

stray slash

Luna struggled to her feet and limped over to check on Kato
to see if he was okay.

drop 'to...okay.' We know why she's checking on him.

The image of Queen Serenity took a breath. "Many years ago,
perhaps even centuries or millennia, I lived on a happy and
prosperous world, the Moon. Unfortunately, we had enemies. What we
call the Dark Kingdom attacked us and nearly destroyed us all.

Serenity: And all because we tried to exterminate them before they got us.
It was just rude, I'm telling you.

Shaking off the nostalgia and forgetting his surprise at his
own words, Kato recalled that his little brother had long ago passed
the stage of having the notion that girls are icky, perhaps a little
sooner than he should have.

Prolly

"K-chan, I CAN'T believe you mispronounced it like that,"

Heh. Didn't know that myself.

There was a long silence on the other end of the line. "Oookay,
that's nice. You didn't trip and hit your head again, did you?"

Kato: No. A magical force hurled me into my bed, though. Got a lump on my
skull and everything.

"But I don't read shoujo manga," Kato said. "Well, apart from
Rayearth and," he paused, trying to remember the title, "that other
one. Does Revolutionary Girl Utena count as shoujo manga?"

Yep

A happy gleam came to the blond's eyes as he stared up at the
ceiling while twiddling the phone cord between his fingers. "Wow,
so the first person you wanted to talk to was -me-? That's great,
Naru!"

Heh. He is desperate for any attention.

"What can I say?" Naru added in a tone that suggested that
she was shrugging. "You're like a brother to me."

Naru: One I want to have an incestuous relationship with.

Kato: Ewwww. You pervert. I'm not that hard up yet.

Kato turned to face his brother. "They said that the zombie
divisions are fighting a riot in the cemetery and couldn't be over
for a few more hours."

Shingo: What about the AD Police?

Kato: Please. They're only useful if you need cannon fodder.

Some dramatic music would have been appropriate at this point,
for when the figure stepped forward, his silhouette cast the sort of
shadow that usually had evil shaking in its grimy boots.

Then the effect died down when they could finally make out his
features. Naru couldn't recognize him, but he was a young man
somewhere between fourteen and seventeen with short blond hair. He
wore a blue tuxedo with a white shirt and a red cape flowing behind
him. He had on formal black shoes and wore a pair of white gloves.

That's a swtich, all right. Does Mamoru end up in a senshi outfit then? :)

Mihoshi gasped and pulled out what looked like a small handgun.
She frantically pointed it at Kato, then at Shingo, Naru, then back
again. "Stay back and don't try to use any firearms. By order of the
Dark Imperium, I'm placing you all under arrest for threatening to
assault one of the Emperor's Generals and for interfering with
Imperial energy taxation."

Heh. Cute

Naru coughed in disbelief. "'My darling boy?!'" She stared at
Luna. "Oh, great, he finally gets a girlfriend and she's a CAT!"
Louder, she quipped, "Wow, K-chan, you got yourself a cat-girl!
I never thought you had it in you!"

Hehehehe.

...

"Uhh, Moon Pummeling Action?"

That works.

Kato stepped around the taller tuxedoed man and added, "Yeah,
we're not criminals." He sighed in an flustered manner. "Look,
draining people's energy and attacking innocent girls like my friend
Naru,

friend, Naru

"Yeah!" Shingo agreed. "For security reasons. I don't want
to wake up to vampires knocking at my window all the time."

"Oh," Kato replied with a frown, suddenly unable to combat
Shingo's logic.

Nor could I, for that matter.

The black cat took a deep breath, looking into the woman's
eyes, convicted of every word of her speech.

convicted? Don't know as that's the word you should be going for.

"SHE FOUGHT ALONE?!"

"Yes."

"FOR THE GLORY OF THE EMPIRE???"

The gaunt youma nodded.

"AND MANAGED TO RETURN WITH A PORTION OF THE ENERGY WE NEED?"

"That is correct, Your Highness."

Emperor Beryl sat down on his garish, skeletal throne, his
muscles rippling as he completed the task in a single smooth motion.
As he did so, a peal of deep, roaring, bellowing laughter escaped
from his powerful lungs. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"

It did sound like she was successful, all right.

The fist-sized vertebrae in the Emperor's neck cracked as he
nodded. "YES. SHE MAY REST, FOR NOW." He turned toward the empty
darkness before his throne. "BUT UNTIL SHE RECOVERS, I WILL BORROW
THE STRENGTH OF ANOTHER." He filled his gigantic lungs with air and
called out, "THE GREAT AND POWERFUL MANSLAYER, GENERAL NEPHRITE,
SHOW YOURSELF TO ME!"

I can't wait to see this one.

Oh no, Kato thought, they'd switched to the morning schedule.

Heh

"WHAT?!" Vegeta shouted, then gasped when he saw who had
fired the shots.

"Huh?" Kato turned around to see a brown-haired girl in a
plain blue, red, and white sailor uniform standing on the top of
a nearby building. "Naru-chan?!"

"That's me!" Naru called back with a smile. She held in
her hands the gun that the boy remembered General Mihoshi had
carried.

Hehehehe. Nothing like using the opposition's weaponry against them.

Naru laughed them to scorn and turned a dial on her weapon.
"Oh, and extortion's 'just business,' right?"

"Curse your logic!" Vegeta spat.

"You're BOTH gonna pay fah dis!" Nappa cried in anger and pain.

She should shoot him again. :)

Most of the band yelled in fright and took off running.

*BZREOW-REOW-REOW!* "Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa," Naru laughed
maniacally as she fired off several more shots into their midst, just
barely missing their feet.

"We'll get you for this!" Nappa called back as he stumbled
quickly away.

Naru: Then I'd better kill  you now.

Nappa; On second thought, you win and I'll never darken your doorway again.

Naru smiled at that. "Yeah, it was, wasn't it? That's a
nice piece of equipment there. It had some instructions hidden
in the clip.

Heh. And it's magazine, not clip. Unless the writing was very, very small.
:)


Neat little thing. Lots of changed, and still humorous. It might have
dragged a little in the middle, but overall a good read.

D.B. Sommer




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