Moving on to some Inu-Yasha:

******************************************************

I don't like that dogface mutt, but even I have to
respect his fighting prowess.   He may not be up to my
level, but if he wanted to, he could seriously hurt
me.   Especially since I lost my Shikon shards to that
bastard Naraku. Not that I'd admit it to him.   The
hanyou has enough of an ego as it is.

When the call came, carried by his retainer, I
originally wasn't going to answer.   I'm the prince of
the Wolf Tribe, not a minor youkai that can be ordered
around.   Still, my curiosity got the better of me,
and I found myself going to meet him at the edge of
the mountains, where my territory ended and that of
Kinoden, the youkai of the forest, began.

To my surprise, he was there before I arrived.   I'd
planned on arriving early to check for traps, but he
was there already.

That's redundent. I'd lose one of the referenses to him being early.

I blinked, processing his words.   They lacked the
challenge I was used to hearing in his voice; he spoke
calmly, with a certain serenity that terrified me.  He
was. fey.

stray period

 That was the word- a man who could see his

death, and had accepted it.  "What are you talking
about?" I demanded angrily.   "This thoughtfulness
doesn't suit you!  You're going to fry your small
brain!"  I placed my hand angrily on my hips, striding
towards him.   If I hit him upside the head a few
times, perhaps he'd return to being the jerk I was
used to.

Heh

"So he actually cared for Kagura?" I asked with
surprise.   Naraku seemed to care for nothing aside
from the Shikon no Tama, and manipulating people
against each other.   The idea that he could care for
one of his detachments, even Kagura who I saw as his
female self, was decidedly against what I knew of him.

Inu Yasha shook his head.   "I think he was more
insulted by the fact that we actually managed to kill
her- Kanna was one thing. get

Get

A vicious grin lit the hanyou's face, the tips of his
fangs peeking out from his lips.   "Kikyou purified
him. and for Naraku, there could be no more unpleasant
way to go."  His eyes shone with his joy brought about
by finally settling the score.

I had heard to

had to hear

the Shikon no Tama to worry about being my woman yet-

though she would.   As soon as I killed Naraku and she
finished assembling the Shikon (which she would, of
course, give to her devoted mate), we'd go live
together.   The tribe was already preparing Kagome her
own area for privacy- they liked her quite a bit and
were willing to put up with her human eccentricities.

Heh. Cute way of putting it.

"I got lost," she said, sighing.   "Kagura managed to
knock Tanuki-san off course, and he lost his
passengers- we're scattered."   Kagome's eyes were
grim, and my eyes trailed to the blood on her sleeve.

Extra line break there.

"Thanks," she said.   She set down her large yellow
bag and started to rummage through it.

It took me less then ten minutes to kill a couple of
rabbits.   Normally I would have just eaten it, but I
had learned that humans liked to burn their meat- some
kind of ritual, I guess.

At least that was what he thought until he learned firsthand that raw meat
sometimes carried internal paracites. He had a fun time dealing with Mr.
Tapewormm let me tell you. :)

The firelight reflected off of her hair, and I stared
at her in fascination.   She was a beautiful enigma;
one I wanted to solve.

It turned out the answer to her was 220. I was disappointed. I had expected
something more.

"He's that old?" I asked, surprised.   He'd always
struck me as young- I was fifty, barely beginning the
long life I could expect to enjoy, but Inu Yasha was
half-human.   I'd placed his age in the late twenties,
or maybe early thirties, the equivalent of a human in
his mid-teens.   Hanyous aged in a strange fashion.
The idea that he was older then I was abhorrent.

Hmm. Wonder why?

She stared into the fire, and I saw the mirror image
of the flames dancing in her eyes.  She took another
bite on her rabbit before answering.  "I've had a lot
of time to think on it.   The sum of their
experiences, and the value of their heart make a
person.   Some of what she's done. I could never do.
That means we're different.   And I'm glad."

Interesting way to explain ther differences.

He shook his head.   "The blade is partially made
from my tooth, so I can choose who I want to wield it.
  Any heart that loves humans can- that's my legacy.
And you love Kagome," he admitted.

Interesting that he can admit it.

As I raced back to the mountain to await Kagome's
arrival, the sheathed Tetsusaiga bouncing against my
hip, I trying to decide if Inu Yasha had been
incredibly strong or incredibly weak to make the
choices he had-

-Or if it was possible to be both.

Nice fic. Very interesting to see that sort of POV coming from a character.
I liked it. Prose flowed well, though first person tends to, IMO. Good work.

D.B. Sommer

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