Subject: [FFML] Re: [OMG/R.5]Marriage Wishes 4
From: "Jon Osborne" <darklion25@hotmail.com>
Date: 4/12/2002, 2:19 AM
To: weimin@pl.jaring.my
CC: ffml@anifics.com


I've noticed that this scene needs to be straightened out:

  "Are you sure we need any hot water?" Ukyou asked
after a moment.
   "One fantasy at time," Akane said blushing.  "And
how would that prove you're a woman?"
   "Right Ukyou," said smirking nervously as he
reluctantly left to get his water. <<

It is difficult to discern who is saying what. A few words in the right
places should do the trick.



Actually, the only thing that needs fixed is that last part.  It should 
read:

"Right," Ukyo said...  (comma and end quote before Ukyo instead of after.)

C-Ya ='P

Jon Osborne

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like Grandpa...
...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers
in his car.
              -Bumper Sticker


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