I've noticed that this scene needs to be straightened out:
"Are you sure we need any hot water?" Ukyou asked
after a moment.
"One fantasy at time," Akane said blushing. "And
how would that prove you're a woman?"
"Right Ukyou," said smirking nervously as he
reluctantly left to get his water. <<
It is difficult to discern who is saying what. A few words in the right
places should do the trick.
Actually, the only thing that needs fixed is that last part. It should
read:
"Right," Ukyo said... (comma and end quote before Ukyo instead of after.)
C-Ya ='P
Jon Osborne
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like Grandpa...
...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers
in his car.
-Bumper Sticker
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