Hi,
I'm Troy Thomas, and I have a couple of comments, which are only my opinion. Please only take what you like. Ignore the rest.

***

	The still, narrow eyes watched silently from the dense bush
surrounding the jungle temple. Had the owner of the eyes been unwary, they
might not have noticed the thick walls and traps surrounding the
perimeter. But these eyes were trained to notice everything.

I'd jusy go with,
Still, narrow, trained eyes silently watched from a dense bush, taking in all the thick walls and traps surrounding the perimeter.

The reason for removing the 'The' is the eyes haven't already been introduced. It's a personal nitpick, really. Also, adjectives should go in front of the verb. And the way I rearranged the paragraph into a sentence is simply to cut it down.

***

	"You speak truth, Pi Sang?" One of the council members asked.

"You speak truth, Pi Sang?" one of the council members asked.

***

	"It comes from a sect in China," Soun said, breaking in to the
conversation. "Apparently there are eleven other pieces to complete the
whole, although not much more information was given. It's of relation to
the suit we got from Monkey Mountain."

It's related to the suit

***

I like.

Troy Thomas

***

Check out my writings webpage. Find my stuff. ^_^
http://ca.geocities.com/therealsilentnova/entrance.html

I hate my e-mail signature, because it's not long enough to say anythin
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