----- Original Message -----
From: "Michael Noakes" <noakes_m@hotmail.com>
To: <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Wednesday, January 09, 2002 6:54 PM
Subject: [FFML] C&C of newRanma

Hiya!

 Oh, crap! It's a Michael Noakes NewRanma C+C! Now poor Jones-san'll be so
disheartened it'll take him _another_ month to finish the next chapter!
(Kidding! I'm kidding!!!!!! I swear!!)

Okay, time for me to take the contrary position; debate is good. Let's
establish from the get-go that both Noakes-san and myself enjoy Jones-san's
fic immensly, otherwise we'd not feel so strongly about it. That being
said...

(Having been in a similar emotional situation--well, without the lesbians
and brain clot, of course--it makes perfect sense to me that displaced
attraction can lead to a silly sense of angry betrayal.)

Indeed, I must concur with Noakes-san here. Ranma's sense of angry betrayal
rang very true, no matter how ethically unjustified it was. I think we've
all been there in one shape or form, and that _hurt_ to read. But a good
hurt, fear not.

Of course, that being said there were still elements I disliked, some of
them reaching back to my earlier criticism.  Akane remains a secondary
character--

I ask: Why is it a bad thing that Akane is a secondary character for a
change? Lord knows I'm a big A+R fan, but once in a while I like to see
other characters take centre stage. If I wanted to see Akane as a
protagonist, I'd re-read Takahashi-sama's original. I should remind all and
sundry that Jones-san has mostly written this story in the third-person
limited perspective; only very rarely have we seen inside the thoughts of
anyone other than Ranma. Kuno, once or twice, and Kodachi, but few others. I
kind of like it, it makes things unpredictable and I think it shows
considerable skill on Jones-san's part that he manages to maintain it so
well.

A brief codicil: It could be that Jones-san is building to a chapter purely
devoted to Akane's POV. If he isn't, he should consider it, if only so that
we can finally understand what she's been thinking. So Noakes-san is
perhaps, upon reflection, not wholly wrong.

But as interesting as she is, it bothers me that nobody makes any

reference

to Nabiki's stunning hypocrisy, and that apparently she's going to get

away

with the shocking behaviour she's displayed so far.

I suspect she won't get away with it forever. I cannot claim to know what
Jones-san is planning, but those familiar with his other stories, and those
who attempt to understand his character a little better by reading his
"rants" page. (Not everyone is interested in that sort of thing, I
understand) that he possesses a strong ethical sense, and that good will
triumph over ill when all is said and done. I find it unlikely that Nabiki's
caddish behaviour will go unpunished by the end of the story.

On the other hand (and this relates to Noakes-san's later criticism of
Ranma's behaviour over the course of the series) I find it fascinating to
see the Ranma cast behaving like real teenagers in this series. I know that
when I was a teenager (your mileage may vary) that I did some terribly
stupid and emotionally cruel and hurtful things to those I cared about,
lagely due to thinking with my genitalia. While I cannot applaud such
behaviour in others, (even in a work of fiction) I can understand them,
having been there myself. A horny, hormonal teenager is seldom a very nice
person, and it's a good thing that most folks eventually outgrow that kind
of stuff. As such, I can empathize with Nabiki, perhaps more than Jones-san
intended due to my own experiences, so I find it difficult not to nod
knowingly when she pulls another fast one.

Soun berates her,
saying 'you don't know what love is'--because she's only been with Taiyoko
for a few weeks... umm, how about the fact that she openly betrayed her
trust to try and seduce her sister's fiancee at every chance she had?

Fair

enough, that she was interested in Ranma because she thought he'd gone
'girl'; but how about asking his thoughts on the matter, instead of
psychologically torturing him along the way?  I still think Nabiki's one

of

the more (probably the most) interesting character in the story... but

she's

not in the least bit sympathetic (Soun's little "you've chosen a hard

path"

diatribe notwithstanding).  Akane was perfectly justified in pounding her;
she should've thrown in a couple of kicks as well.

Now, now; NewRanma has more-or-less eschewed Takahashi's original slapstick
violence for more "realistic" consequences of violence. By those rules,
hitting Nabiki could result in fatality or severe injury, something not to
be wished on someone whose sole crime is being human. Bad behaviour on Nabs'
part is no excuse for violence on Akane's. Like I tell my daughter (quoting
one of my fave SF authors) "It's okay to be mad, it's okay to be upset, or
sad. It's okay to feel however you want to feel. It's not okay to hit." In a
Ranma fic closer in tone to the source material, or "original flavour"
violence has no more lasting consequences than hurt feelings. The rules in
NewRanma are closer to those in RL.

The girlfriend should
have joined in, too: _I_ would, if my lover openly stated her amorous,
continuing intentions for another _while laying naked in bed next to me_!

I agree she had every right to be upset/angry/dump Nabs' cheatin' ass, but
it'd be OOC for Taiyoko to react that way, based on her consistent portrayal
as someone who shrinks from confrontation, and is all-too-willing to
shoulder guilt and blame for things that aren't her fault. I can see her
simply blaming herself for "not being good enough to Nabiki" as an excuse
for Nabs cheating. Sad, and pathetic, but very IC for Taiyoko.

Ranma remains pretty useless.  He's angry that Nabiki chose another girl
over him--fair enough.  Why isn't he angry that she also blatantly used

him?

  Tried to drive a wedge between him and Akane at every turn, for her own
selfish passions and cruel desires?  She makes some scathing remarks about
his harem, and her words score deeper than they should: Ranma hasn't

really

_done_ anything about his girls because he's been passive the entire

story,

simply swooning and gushing at every inch of exposed skin.  I kept hoping
he'd manage some kind of rebuttal or show some sign of inner will... but

he

doesn't.  You'd think his own sexual confusion would lend some

understanding

of Akane's similar dilemma, but it doesn't.  The blurb at the top of the
newRanma website says this is a story about Ranma shifting into adulthood;
but when he's given a chance to play 'adult' (ie. Showing some restraint)

in

the encounters with Kodachi... he doesn't.

Look at it this way: To pass from childhood to adulthood, one must pass
through adolescence. And Ranma's being _very_ adolescent in his
actions/reactions throughout this story.

I ranted about this when I
commented before--for a main character, Ranma's pretty annoying.  By this
point in the story, I see him less as a confused young man discovering his
sexuality, than as a fan-service walking genital.  I don't mean that to

come

off as flippant as it sounds: it can explain much of his behavior.  If

he's

just a walking genital, he's not really accountable for any of his
actions--he's only capable of thinking about one thing.  Unfortunately,

that

limits his interest as a principle character, in my opinion.

You're certainly entitled to your opinion, Noakes-san, but look at it this
way: Ranma's job description in this story isn't "hero of the piece", just
"protagonist", i.e. the character upon which the story is focused. It isn't
necessary that we _like_ the protagnoist of a work of fiction, or ever want
to meet them in RL. The author's job, IMO, is simply to present us with a
protagonist whose actions are understandable within the framework of the
action, and to serve as our "viewpoint" on the ensuing drama. Now, it may
well be that you don't understand Ranma's behaviour over the course of the
story, and indeed, that's a problem. For my part, however, I can easily
empathize with Ranma's feelings and actions, (as I said above, I did things
in my youth I'm not at all proud of, in retrospect) while not necessairly
condoning them. Perhaps our difference of opinion stems simply from a lack
of similar experiences, in which case I don't see how we can reconcile this,
outside of simply agreeing to disagree.

Another problem I have is that 'Adulthood' in newRanma seems to equate

with

promiscuousness.  Ranma can't keep either his male or female bits in his
pants.  The girls of his 'harem' are even worse: aside from Akane, these
girls are all willing to spread their legs for him at any given chance!
Ukyou takes the bunny girl route, Nabiki's advances border on rape, and
Kodachi's virginal attempt at seduction doesn't say much for her

character.

Only anger-neurotic Akane seems to want to wait until a 'proper' time.  A
big part of adulthood, I'd say, as opposed to being a teenager, is
recognizing the consequences of an action and acting on it--even if it
denies the pleasure of the moment.  These people are still years and years
from that.

True. But the action is moving away from their more childlike behaviour over
the course of the canon, so I would say that they are maturing. Maybe not
doing a terribly good job of it, but they're on the road to adulthood,
anyway.

(I'll admit, teenagers wanting to throw their virginity away isn't all

that

difficult a thing to grasp.  It's just the way they go about it in the
fic--and Ranma's easy acceptance of it.  Maybe Nabiki _was_ right... Ranma
likes having a harem around 'cus he's sure to get some action from them.
But why doesn't he feel the least bit of anger at their approaches?  He's
emotionally reeling after being kicked out, and the Kunos kindly take him
in; but Kodachi's quick to betray that trust with another attempt at
ensnaring him.  If he's that easy, do they really believe that a one-night
stand is going to catch him?)

Once again, it isn't Jones-san's responsability to convince us that Ranma's
(or Ukyo's or Kodachi's or anyone's) actions are right or wrong, simply to
make them plausible within the framework of the story.

Actually, Akane's reaction is interesting--and a bit odd.  Okay, she's
dealing with some deep issues.  She's worried that she's a lesbian--a
pervert, one of the things she hates the most.  I think the author plays

up

the anger aspect a bit too much--Akane's just as likely to react with

tears

as with anger in tense situations, I think--but it still makes sense.

She's

confused, and she's overheard both Nabiki's and Ranma's admissions (ie: N:

I

tried to seduce you because you were a girl; R:I still want to have sex

with

you) and she's furious.  But the entirety of her anger seems focused on
Nabiki being openly lesbian.  Okay, maybe it is largely driven by her own
guilt, fears, and maybe a healthy dose of jealousy-why can't she accept it
as easily?  But she doesn't even make mention of Nabiki's betrayal-her own
sister trying to steal Ranma away, regardless of Akane's feelings in the
matter.  Doesn't she care about Ranma in the least anymore?  Her feelings
for Ranma have become curiously secondary to her anger at Nabiki being a
lesbian.
But then, that's a bit of an issue in itself: in recent chapters, we've

seen

virtually nothing of what she thinks, so that when Soun tells her that it
might be best if she gives up on the boy, we have no way of knowing

whether

she actually cares anymore--worse, we might not have much interest, since
our focus has been kept elsewhere for so long.
More seriously, though, it seems that Akane is being punished for being
confused about her sexuality.  More to the point, it seems she's being
punished for trying to hold onto her heterosexuality.  Ranma comments at
some point that if Akane had been willing to kiss him as a girl, he

wouldn't

have been susceptible to Nabiki's advances.  And Akane's difficulties seem
to be treated with zero sympathy by the author, even though her problem
parallels Ranma's so closely.  This raised a couple of issues.  First: in
that scene, she's the only really sympathetic character, even despite her
ranting and raving; yet she's the one that's treated the worst.  I mean,
she's just been treated really, really horribly by both her fiance and her
sister.  He's already kissed Nabiki in front of her, and now admits he

still

wants to screw Nabiki--again right in front of her!  He should be down on
his knees begging for forgiveness, but instead he's whining that Nabiki
chose someone else.  Somehow, she still comes off looking the villain in
that scene.
Second, and more importantly, it raises a question: Is Akane being

punished

for trying to hold on to her heterosexuality?  Sexual flexibility is a

fine

thing, and I don't begrudge the homosexuals and bisexuals their choice in
orientation; but does this mean that heterosexuality is a bad thing?  This
has to be answered within the few chapters remaining.  The author is

dealing

with some very serious issues here.  Thing is, previous chapters suggest
that sexual limitation are viewed as a bad thing: at most every turn,

every

aspect of sexuality has been portrayed in a favourable or 'normal' light,
from homosexuality to parental rape dreams.  Is this why Akane, with her
fears of 'abnormal' sexuality, is getting so nastily torn up by her

sister?

I don't know about this, Noakes-san; I think you're reading stuff into the
narrative that isn't there. Bear in mind that throughout the story we have
seen all forms of sexuality being modeled as being "healthy", from
heterosexuality to homosexuality as well as many shades in between.  We see
a wide variety of tropes in this story, both positive and negative: Confused
Akane and Ranma, homosexual Nabiki and Sensei, heterosexual Hi+Dai and Mr.
and Mrs. Saotome, fetishists Principal Kuno and the Priest, repressed
Kasumi... all of whom exhibit various different "kinks", (If I may misuse
the term) and who deal with how that affects their lives in different ways.
Whether Ranma chooses to live as a homosexual, heterosexual or somewhere in
between by the end of this story, he has both positve and negative role
models on all sides of the issue.

Well, anyway, these criticisms haven't really been presented in as

coherent

of a way as I would've liked; I've kind of jumped all over the place.
Again, though these might seem like negative or harsh criticisms, I don't
mean any harm in them--I _do_ like the story, or else I wouldn't bother
writing something of this length.  I don't know if there's any actually
value in what I've written, but I do hope it generates some discussion...
the good fics out there need to be noticed more, in my opinion.

-Mike Noakes

Your criticisms were extremely coherent, IMHO, even if I didn't agree with
all of them, and indeed, the more buzz about this challenging fic, the
better. I hope you don't find me too presumptuous in answering before
Jones-san has a chance, but I, like you, have very strong feelings about
this story. Anyway, take care!


Dave Menard

You're the cutest of the Scoobies,
With your lips as red as rubies,
And your firm and supple... tight embrace!
-Xander, BTVS "Once More With Feeling"

Dawn's in danger? Oh. It must be Tuesday.
-Buffy, BTVS "Once More With Feeling"


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