Pokeball Run: The Great Race
Part 4 - Forsets, Banjos, and Cameos. (Oh Yeah!)
By C-Dogg
Inspired by Cannonball Run

Disclaimer: All unoriginal material is TM and(C) all respective owners. 
Please don't sue me. I have no money. Besides, my lawyer can beat up your 
lawyer.

Foul language, tasteless humor and sex jokes lie ahead. This one may not be 
for the kiddies. 

"/" denotes pokemon speak i.e. "/Duplica?"

----------
"She wouldn't."
"She couldn't."
"Misty, don't do it!"
"Pika!"
"Noooooo!"

Misty raised her mallet high and smashed the windshield in two blows. Then 
she swung around and smashed the passenger side windows and hammered the 
doors. She moved to the rear and worked on the window, trunk, and lights, 
knocking the bumper off in the process. Misty then leapt atop the car and 
pounded the hood until steam started rising from beneath it and the horn 
refused to shut off. The girl turned back to the group and jumped into a 
pose, feet shoulder width, hand gripping crotch and mallet raised high in 
triumph.

"Hoooooooooooooo!"

The engine exploded behind her and flames leaped into the air, turning her 
frame inot a near-silhouette. The Pokemon Center had cleared out. Giselle, 
Meowth, Gary, and Ms. Ketchum joined the gaping crowd.

"Whoa!" Ash let out. He had long thought the girl to be the Devil. This scene 
definitely did not help.

"You stupid little bitch!"

Misty un-posed. The flame receded quickly, scared of what it saw coming. All 
eyes now had a new target.

"You ruined our car you fucking flat-chested tomboy!" Jessie screamed.

Everyone turned back to Misty. An enormous knot of frustration popped out of 
her forehead.

"Aw shit," Brock muttered.

The girl reached back like a pitcher and flung her mallet at the buxom 
redhead. Jessie's jaw dropped as the projectile hurtled toward her. A hand 
reached out and grabbed its head inches from her face.

"Did you all understand the part about not harming your opponents?" Metro 
asked as he dropped the mallet in the ground.

"We didn't hoit nobody," Meowth protested.

Neither did Misty," added Duplica.

The young author sighed. "Okay, new rules. Do not touch your opponents car," 
he turned to Brock, "and no more switching cars if you don't need to. Now 
this little scene has gone on long enough. You all get some rest. Tomorrow is 
going to be... interesting." The author faded away.

"What about our car!"

*****
9:07 P.M.

"Please Joy?"

The nurse sighed, "I already told you, it would be rude. Ms. Ketchum is here."

The officer grinned. "We could ask her to join us."

"You know she wouldn't do that. Now calm down. One night won't kill you."

"Hey! Ms. Ketchum! Wanna fuck?" The officer called. Joy elbowed her in the 
side.

"Keep it up and you won't be getting any for the rest of this race," she 
warned her partner.

Ms. Ketchum exited the bathroom, "Did you want something?"

Jenny opened her mouth but caught a warning glance from Joy. "Nothing," she 
pouted.

*****
Giselle slept soundly in her bed, having screwed Misty and Duplica out of 
another night of sleeping solo. The other two girls sat on the edge of the 
other making idle conversation to fight the grip of sleep.

"That was a great job you did back there at the bridge," Misty said with a 
yawn, placing a hand on her companion's shoulder.

Duplica blushed. "Thanks. You looked really great out there too when smashed 
Team Rocket's car."

The redhead smiled. She arched her back and batted her eyes at the other 
girl, "Did I look strong and sexy?" she asked with feigned allure. Duplica 
blushed even harder, choking on a sentence.

Misty fell back on the bed chuckling. "I wonder if Ash noticed," she blurted 
out, drowsiness evident in her voice.

"Er, um, I don't think he's ever going to come around," Duplica told her 
partner. You should probably look... elsewhere."

Misty yawned loudly. "Like who."

"Well, uh, someone like, um, m--,"

*Zzzzzzzzzzz*

Duplica pouted. Having missed one opportunity, she decided to settle for 
another. She moved so that she lay on her side next to Misty and checked to 
make sure Giselle wasn't awake.

*squeeze*

* * * * *
8:59 A.M.

*Vroom*

The engine of the Hummer roared to life. Its three occupants anxiously 
awaited the start of the race. Koga sat behind the wheel revving the engine 
periodically, face stern with concentration. The author stood by the car 
still wearing his red shirt and black pants. He peered at his watch through 
his sunglasses, watching the seconds tick away. On the other side of the car 
stood a green haired official dressed in a red t-shirt and black jeans. She 
held a green flag high, flaming pokeball emblem flapping in the light breeze.

"Three, two, one. Go!"

The flag came down. The vehicle flew out of the lot of the Pokemon Center and 
headed for the Viridian Forest. "Koga, this forest is pretty thick. Do you 
have a map?" asked the bald gym leader.

"I need no map," Koga returned. "I know exactly where I am going."

*****
9:22 A.M.

"Gary, Ash, and Brock get ready!"

The young trainers loaded up their vehicle. Gary sat at the wheel and Brock 
next to him. Ash, after much protest, still sat in the back. A familiar 
vehicle rolled into the lot. "I told you I knew how to get us he--." Koga 
stopped.

"Go!" The red convertible drove past the gym leaders and disappeared down the 
road.

"I'm driving!" Blaine announced.

*****
9:42 A.M.

Team Rocket's starting time had long rolled past, yet neither they nor their 
car were in the lot. The author stared at his watch. "Where are they?"

On cue, a white Cadillac slowly pulled into the lot. It's three occupants, 
Jessie, James, and Meowth, each sported a pair of sunglasses. Their heads 
bobbed to a rap tune that played from the car's depths. It stopped in front 
of the author and raised its frame an additional foot off of the ground. 
Jessie leaned out of the driver side window. "What do you think? She asked 
with a smirk.

"10 points for style, 2 points for the music," the boy replied. "You should 
probably get going. The guy you stole that form is probably really pissed 
off."

Jessie looked shocked? "How did you..." Metro smiled. "Oh, right."

*****
9:50 A.M.

"I probably should have said this before we left," Officer Jenny announced 
from the driver seat, "but I don't know how to get to Pewter City."

Nurse Joy pointed ahead. "Just follow Team Rocket."

"What if they don't know where to go either?" Ms. Ketchum commented.

"Then we're screwed," Joy told her. "Wait, don't you know how to get through 
this forest?"

"Oh no, I always get lost in this thing."

"...Then how'd you get to Celadon?"

Ms. Ketchum shrugged. "Luck?"

*****
"Da Corvette is gainin' on us!" Meowth told his driver.

An evil grin appeared on her face. "Then we'll just have to lose them." 
Jessie wrenched the wheel to the right and the Cadillac swerved into the 
trees.

*****
"So they think they can lose me?" Jenny slammed the gas pedal. "They must 
have forgetten that this is how I make my living!" Nurse Joy and Ms. Ketchum 
gripped their seats for dear life as their car accelerated rapidly.

*****
10:20 A.M.

Duplica held her Ditto securely in her lap. "Do you think we still have a 
chance?" she asked Misty from the back seat.

"Sure we do," Misty answered.

Giselle screeched to a halt. All she could see ahead was miles of brake 
lighs. The girls were on the ass end of a traffic jam.

"Oh god dammit!"

*****
10:30 A.M.

A bored Ash Ketchum looked up to see that they were passing a trucker. The 
boy made eye contact and raised a closed fist.

"What are you doing?" Brock asked as Ash moved his arm up and down.

He smiled. "I'm getting him to honk his horn."

The truck driver rolled down his window and aimed a shotgun at the hood of 
the red car. "No good punks!" Fire exploded from the barrel of the weapon. 
Buckshots ripped through the vehicle. Gary yanked at the wheel, struggling to 
keep control. The trio veered off to the right off an overpass and plunged 
head first into a stream below.

"Shiiiiiit!"

*****
The three gym leaders watched the scene unfold twenty yards behind. "Okay, no 
one look at any truckers on this highway." Surge commanded.

*****
The three young men stood a safe distance away and stared at the smoking 
wreckage, not realizing how lucky they were to have escaped with their lives.

Gary didn't care.

He pounced on Ash and gripped the boy's throat. A slew of curses flew from 
his mouth as he slammed Ash's head against the soft mud at every word.

"You dumb son of a bitch! You ruined my fucking car! What the Hell were you 
thinking?" and on and on. Brock shook his head and waked away.

*****
10:50 A.M.

Half an hour had passed and the girls had only moved a few miles. Ditto 
repeatedly flashed white, seeming unable to accomplish a task.

"Why won't it transform?" Giselle asked, "We gotta get out of this thing."

"I have no clue," Duplica told her.

Ditto stopped glowing and opened its mouth. "Author... says... no!" it 
squeaked, covering it's own mouth after. The three girls stared in disbelief.

"D-did it just talk?" Misty asked.

*****
11:30 A.M.

A blue blur ran past Brock with a short yellow one right behind it. Both were 
heading for disaster.

"Look out!"

Brock reached out and yanked Ash back by the collar of the boy's jacket in 
time to keep him out of the path of a white Cadillac followed by a blue 
Corvette. The two cars kicked up dust and disappeared into the trees.

"What are they doing out here?"

*****
Ms. Ketchum waved to her son as the car flew by, wondering why the three of 
them were walking. Jenny was still riding Team Rocket's ass. Although she 
hated their guts, she had to admire Jessie's ability to move the large 
vehicle between the trees. Admiration turned to suspicion as both of the cars 
suddenly stopped at a small creek.

*****
"Jessie, can we please go back on the road? I don't feel so good," the 
blue-haired boy whined, arms wrapped around his stomach.

"Stop whining," she told him.

"Why did you stop?" asked Meowth.

"You'll see."

*****
"They're up to something," said Officer Jenny.

Joy commented, "What if they're just stuck in the--."

The rear wheels of the Cadillac spun wildly, kicking up a wake of mud and 
splattering the front of the Corvette.

"Son of a bitch."

*****
12:00 P.M.

"Aaaaaaash!" Gary finally caught up to the other two members of his team. 
"You owe me a new car!"

"Deja vu," muttered Ash.

"Speaking of new cars, we need one," said Brock.

"Don't worry." Gary held up his cellular phone. "I already told Professor Oak 
to meet us at Celadon City." He heard a distant crack. The small device 
exploded out of his hand. "What the fuck?"

A banjo twanged somewhere nearby. "You fellers sure are purdy!"

Gary's face turned pale. "Shit! We're in trouble!" He turned to Ash and Brock 
who were a good hundred yards away.

"Run you fool!" Brock called.

"Hey! Wait up!"

*****
1:00 P.M.

"Indigo Plateau 10 miles. Oh shit."

"Blaine, you should have made a right."

"The Hell with this, I'm driving," Surge announced.

*****
4:05 P.M.

The Beetle finally arrived at the Celadon Pokemon Center. It's occupants 
filed out, each still seeing rows red lights every time they blinked. All of 
the other teams had already arrived and were sitting on the steps in front of 
the center. The author stood before them. "Ladies, thanks for joining us. 
Please have a seat." 

"Shouldn't we check in?" inquired Misty.

"Screw it." Metro cleared his throat. "I decided that I want to change the 
plot a little bit, so I figured that it would be nice if I told you all about 
it. The next leg of the race is going to run from Celadon to Vermillion to 
Lavender Town. Depending on how long that takes, it may also include the 
final leg from Lavender to Fuchsia City." Headlight bathed the group in whit 
light as an orange El Camino closed in on them. "Everyone say hi to Professor 
Oak."

"Hi Professor Oak!" they all said in unison as the old man stepped out of the 
vehicle. He waved to them and winked at Ms. Ketchum. The woman blushed 
slightly.

Metro continued. "Now, for the hell of it, I'm treating you all to a free 
show at the Cerulean City Gym tonight. You all have tickets in your pockets. 
Now close your eyes and count to three."

The cast obeyed. "One, two, three..."
----------

Questions? Comments? Flames? Praises? Send 'em this way. Bigc123485@aol.com 
or c-dogg@bigmailbox.net



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