Nicholas Leifker wrote:

Leifker presents

One Man's Heaven...

A work of anime fanfiction by Nicholas Leifker

I make no claim to the characters presented; Takahashi, Fujishima, and
someone I don't know are responsible for these characters.  Despite
this, I ask that you not distribute it on your own without the author's
permission.  Call me careful.  ^_^

And, in the spirit of Halloween...

    Full moon out, tonight.

He couldn't help himself, to be honest.  The three gaijin women who ran
the joint simply exuded power; to feel those perfect breasts would keep
him charged up for months, maybe years.  Then, of course, there were
those divine panties... even the little one's underwear would feel
heavenly as he mashed his face against its cotton, and the older two
would have panties capable of sending him bliss like he'd never known.

    Sending him bliss, or sending him into bliss?

With such a perfect target, he could not refuse.  They had to feel his
touch; he had to know their underwear. 

    Heh.

The first room he came to had some sort of robot in it; he smiled at the
thought of some robot guard posing any sort of threat to him... that
was, until said robot pulled out a flamethrower.  Only a Happodaikarin
saved him from the fast-moving robot; that guard destroyed, he moved to
the drawer.

    Repetition of 'robot'. Machine, sentry, etc. (?)

Now this... this was more like it.  Whoever lived here had tastes that
he could appreciate.  Miniskirts, catsuits, bustiers... this woman had
style.  No doubt this was the oldest lady's room; the middle one was
much too proper for this.  He dove for her drawers, and shut them with
him inside.

    About here is where I realized which house he had broken into. A bit slow witted on my part. :p

The aura he felt in there was indescribable. Here he was, squeezed tight
in a box filled with panties - almost heaven.  He tossed the kid's panty
from his gi and started stuffing silk down his gi, stuffing them full. 

    Repetition, 'gi'.

Ahhhh.... nothing like the hunt.  Three adversaries, one male (not a
threat), one young female (Powerful, but must ripen)... and one
goddess.  Platinum hair cascaded down from her face and around her
shoulders, stopping just above an incredible pair of breasts - just
slightly sagging, but still remarkable.  These mounds of flesh were
perfectly held in place by a black bustier, which in turn led down to a
tempting miniskirt.  He thought of the perfect black silk panty which
must be inside... and a plan was formed. 

    (Powerful, but -- (powerful, but

    Sagging? I'da think that she'd be a mite annoyed to hear that...

Time stopped as he found himself glomping the most perfect breasts he'd
ever felt.  Fully developed, but no sag at all; he'd never felt a woman
at such a perfect age.  And - my God! - the aura she exuded.... he
didn't care about the past or the future.  All that mattered was the
present.

    The shift from third person to first is just a taaad jarring -- why not just 'Gods'! or 'by God!' instead? Then again, probably just me being nitpicky, and I can be ignored freely!

The three women looked at each other.  The child asked the question; the
older ones answered. 
"Hell?" the child asked.

    Slightly repetetive given the prior paragraph.

"Hell," came the middle sibling's reply. 
"Hell," the oldest one agreed.  The three of them grasped arms,
encircling him; he shuddered at the chanting that took place between
them, an ancient tongue that resonated within his soul.

    O_o

It had been a long time since he'd woken up with a headache like this. He never had hangovers, and nobody ever beat him up so badly that he'd
have such agony.  This time, it stabbed at his temples, making him
almost wish that he'd never taken up his proclivities. 

    this -- that (?) Not sure...

    Heh. ALMOST...

His host, a young man with spiky light-brown hair, smiled.  "You're in
Japoness, near the outskirts of the city."  He pointed at himself.  "My name's Otaru, by the way.  What's yours?"

    I wonder if Happosai could get into orbit...

A scream pealed across the surface of Terra II, echoing around the
planet several times before dissipating.  Most dismissed it as a freak
of the atmosphere; still, the despairing terror of the wail sent many
across the planet into a dark mood.  Surely hell had come to claim its
own, they said...

    Heh!

    Aside from a bit of repetition of 'panties' that was just about perfect. And given who the storie's about, that's probably to be expected. ;)

Only an hour late... this was intended as a sort of Halloween 'fic. Hope y'all enjoyed it...

    An hour early, here.

    Saber Marionettes is...

    Copyright 1996 Satoru Akahori/Hiroshi Negishi/Tsukasa Kotobuki/Kadokawa Shoten/Bandai Visual/Sotsu Agency/TV Tokyo.

    The individual behind the concept is just Satoru Akahori, and I think that's what you were probably looking for.

    As an aside, nice to see you writing again. :)

Nicholas Leifker
nightelf@thekeep.org
http://www.thekeep.org/~nightelf/fanfic
November 1, 2001