I've seen alot of comments about Akane's negative swimming ability.  It
comes from several things, like her cooking.  In one episode I remember her
saying "You mean you're not supposed to breath in?", or something like that.
Add in that she's about as strong as Ranma when she forgets herself, without
most of the training.  I'd say both her bones and muscles are abnormaly
dense.  I'd tend to say Ranma's are too, but not as much, and he has had
training to compensate.  Add in weird gravity tricks using ki, and Ranma can
swim.  Maybe swimming lessons now that Akane's calmed down a bit?  Ryouga?
Same as Akane, but worse.  But he is stronger, so he can swim...  Make for
an interesting swimming style.

"But I hate the backstroke!  It's too hard!" Ryouga moans.

Coach says "But that's the easiest stroke boy, just float and kick!"

"I don't float"  Ryouga states flately.

After a period of partial writers block on this series, repreating bouts

of

illness, and just plain stuff, here's a small taste ot the stupidity to
come.

(Mink-esq)  Yay Yaay Yay!

Either enjoy or run in terrified fear and loathing.  Your choice...

(flips coin).  Looks at coin standing on edge.  Enjoy, I guess.

 Girl Days

 A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction

 By Robert Haynie

 Part 18:  Revolutionary Girl Ryoga

 (If Rumiko Takahashi ever saw this she'd either kill me or buy
the story.  Me, I'm wearing a bulletproof vest.)

Has a BPV ever protected against the guns most animate females run around
with?  Or maybe she'll just pull out the 100ton mallet?  I can only guess
what the authors might run around with.

 ####

 Once upon a time Ryoga Hibiki had thought that Ranma Saotome was
conspiring against him, to make him a laughingstock.

 He knew better now.  The entire UNIVERSE was conspiring against
him, to make him a laughingstock.

Nope, just a rather perverse fanfic writer.

 This was evinced by his latest complication.  His latest
complication was that he wasn't a he, but a she.

 And she wasn't very happy about it.

 Last night she'd slept next to Ranma on a spare futon in an
outfit that she'd quite frankly never envisioned herself wearing.
She'd always assumed that turning inro a girl instead of a pig would
be a great improvement.  She was rethinking that position.

 Now she was lying on her back in a powder blue negligee and
matching panties and listening to the sounds of chaos as Ranma and
her father began thier morning ritual of trying to beat the snot out
of each other.  And wondering how she'd gotten into a scrape like
this.  This was the sort of thing that happened to Ranma, not her.

Ranma's discovered playing dress-up!

 (At the moment, she was conveiently forgetting little things like
the Mark of the Battling God, the Tunnel of Love, Herb and the
Chiisuton, a little incident with a magic koi rod, and quite a few
other incidents that would suggest otherwise.)

 At least, that's what she told herself.  Then again, recently
things had been getting strange even by Neriman standards.  And that,
as they say, was saying a lot.

Ryouga's Karma just caught up with him, though.  A passing Kami heard him
ranting about 3 months ago and decided to make things look up for him a bit.
Ranma's got it so much better huh?  Okay, match up these threads...

 She sat up, and sighed.  For the next few days she was going to
be a girl.  Well, if Ranma could handle it, she could.  Besides, so
far it didn't seem that bad-- except that she was wearing an outfit
out of a pin-up magazine.

Nahh...  She's wearing too much for a pin-up.

 Ranma re-entered, having managed to send her father into a state
of pandaness, and shook the water from her hair.  "Old man managed to
get a good one in today.  Say, the furo is ok right now, and we made
sure the Soap isn't there-- just the ordinary stuff.  You want a
bath, while I get you some clothes?"

 "Uh... sure."

 "Okay.  Here's a bathrobe.  You'll need it."

 "Okay, but why do I need it?"

 "Well, if you WANT Nabiki taking snaps of you in that
peignoir..."

 "Gimme the bathrobe."

heh.

 On the outskirts of Nerima, a figure lurked.  Although he didn't
know it, the target of his eternal quest wasn't in town.  Then again,
he might not have cared.

 He once again had a plan.  The plan was not the one he'd used the
first time he'd come to Nerima-- find target, beat hell out of
target, and make target aquiesce to his desire.

 He knew now that would not have worked, really.  But the figure
in question could be rather elemental at times.

 THIS time, however, he had a plan that was truly brilliant-- and
would let him get finally even with the fiend who had cursed him--
not with what people tended to think of as his curse, but his real
one.

 He looked to the heavens, and repeated his vow of vengeance once
again.

 "Mooo."

I agree!  I agree!  Pantsu needs to be a girl for a while too!!!!

Idea:  Maybe a better form of bait for Happi?  A girl named pantyhose would
be an irresistable target for The Happosai.

 Ryoga for once found the door in a flash, terrified beyond reason
at the thought that she might find herself in a bath with an unclad
Ranma or Akane or ANYONE else-- never mind that it was technically
just us girls.  She started down the hall to Ranma's room, only to be
grabbed at the shoulder by the redhead.

 "Let go of me, you-"

 "Forgot your towel, Lady Godiva."

I'm a little sheltered, who's Lady Godiva?

 Ryoga felt a little better now that she was dressed.  True, Ranma
had stuck her in female undergarments again, but the t-shirt (with a
picture of a madly grinning Goku on it) and denim shorts were far
preferable to a skirt any day.  In her opinion anyhow.

Perfect Ranma T-shirt.  I'm sure that Ranma would love DB(Z).
He's just upset he can't keep his ki high enough to actually fly.

 She looked over the breakfast table at Ranma in her school
uniform, eating breakfast (When not defending her breakfast from a
certain parental unit) and idly chatting with Akane about today's
projected volleyball game.  Idle chats between Ranma and Akane these
days could sound really strange.

 "You really think she will?"

 "After that thing with the demon?  Yup.  Said she'd try one just
to see why we wear them, and because she got a bit flustered when she
learned why Daisuke was sitting so damn close to the court recently."

Demon?  Wear of something?  I think I'm lost here.  And what's up with Hilda
and Mousse?  Or have all the Vikings left?

 "Hmmph.  Well, I still call it perverted."

Yes, but there's perverted, and then there's pound perverted.  You cross the
line, prepare to get pounded.

 Ranma sighed.  "Because I seen it all.  More than I ever wanted
to.  And also I think I don't have any hormones.  Well, not a lot."

 Akane rolled her eyes.  "I'm beginning to consider that a
possibility."

Akane:  Yeah, I've been trying to get you in bed with me for a month now!

 Akane sighed.  "I wish I could..."

 "Hey, you're doing a lot better in the Art, so maybe--"

 "No, Ranma.  Part of getting trained by you has... well, I
realise now that I just naturally sink.  Kasumi found out something
about it-- it's a medical condition called negative bouyancy.  I
really can't ever learn to swim.  But maybe lying in the shallow end
is ok for me."

Sure you can!  You're just going to have to work very hard at it.  And maybe
a light life jacket or some floaties.

 Ranma thought furiously.  "Well, I can get some Instant
Nannichuan from Cologne and you can see for yourself--"

Great idea!

 "No way, Ranma.  NOT an option."

Karma, Nabiki, Karma.  Plan on not having to wear a top for at least a day

 "Besides, Ranma, we don't have much in the way of male swimwear
in this house anyhow," Akane added.  "So-- Oh, I know!"

 For some reason, Ryoga felt a severe sense of dread.  Something
was about to happen to her that would truly cause new and untold
humiliation to decend on her, something that would haunt her
nightmares for the rest of her life.

 "Ryoga can tell us!"

 "If it wasn't for the fact that this is all Mousses' fault, it
would be yours," the blue-haired girl scarled.

 Ranma sighed.  SUCH an idiot.

Heh

 There were in that part of Nerima two major high schools.  One
was Furinkan, where the pervasive oddness of the area seemed to be
doubled.  The other was St. Herbereke, which actually tended to have
a somewhat lower stangeness index-- but what there was was mostly
named Kodachi Kuno.

 However, that had taken a sudden upswing as said gymnast walked
into the changing room to meet a group of girls united in shock, the
various lockers torn apart, items of clothing strewn about.  "What
happened HERE?"  she demanded.

 And one girl raised her hand, and replied, "A monster stole our
underwear."

The Happosai's back!   I thought he wasn't in Nermia?

 Kodahchi paused.  It was a matter of giri, as the school's
leading student, for her to avenge their collecive honor.
Unfortunately she knew little about monsters, and in fact, she didn't
know of anyone who did except--

 (There is no hope for it.  Like it or not, I shall have to ask
the aid of that peasant Akane Tendo and the red headed strumpet who
shares my Ranma-sama's name.)

And at least they've shown proper regard towards the defeat and punishment
of perverts.  Even if the strumpet is also an exhibitionist.

 "Yeah.  Hmm... I'm half tempted to get a packet and a disposable
camera... who knows, I might make a few bucks of beefcake photos."

Oh My God!  Ranma's grown a brain.  Nabiki watch out!

 The two were silent for a while, and then Ranma added, "Naw, it'd
never work out.  She's enough trouble always borrowing your clothes
without her startin' to borrow mine."

And from what I remember, borrowing new, and returning worn.

 Kasumi began to feel-- for once-- slightly flustered.

Poor Kasumi.

Robert Haynie, who really really wants to find
a working technique for making beer out
of cheese.  Why?  Why ask why?  I just want
to...

Beer out of cheese?  If there's a way to get alcohol out of this, but it
wouldn't be a beer.  Sorta like getting beer out of honey.  It wouldn't be a
beer, it'd be mead.  Anyways, there wouldn't be enough sugar and moisture
for the fermention process.  Cheese is already fermented in a different way,
and dried out, so you wouldn't get fermentation without adding sugars and
water.  Might as well just grind up the cheese and add it to the beer for
flavor.

Firethorn.

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