Besides generally agreeing with Jonathan Rosenbaugh as to
whether or not this actually had a plot, you might have done
better to use Japanese names for the guys. Ataru, Akuma, 
and Ryoken instead of Steve, Pual, and Bill...

What might make this worth while as a story would
be an exploration into Kasumi's motives for having
one of her sisters so horribly mistreated and abused.

And I disagree with Kasumi's assumption that this would
improve Nabiki's behavior in the slightest. If anything,
Nabiki will be out for some serious, possibly lethal, revenge
against Kasumi. And unless Kasumi has more connections
that we don't know about, we are probably looking at a dead
Kasumi in the near future...

Because that wasn't a punishment that was inflicted on
Nabiki. That was a reprihensible crime...

Tangent

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