I'm sick and that NyQuil I've been taking has been giving me the most
INTERESTING dreams.  Whee, the flu is fun.

Perfect writing condition, yes?

So, for the benefit of those of you with flash photography....er...sorry,
wrong medium.

What I MEANT to say was:

And now, from the files of things I won't ever write, and think I should be
prevented from writing should I ever decide to...

Another God's Toychest entry......

***********************

Chris found himself in the middle of ye olde average Japanese streete.
Hence, him looking around and going "What the hoeck?"

"RANMA NO BAKA!!"

Hmm.

One male Japanese teenager with a pigtail.  Check.

One female Japanese teenager carrying a mallet.  Check.

First subject chasing second with intention of causing great bodily harm.
Check.

"Wow, Ranma 1/2.  Didn't I do this before?"

Brief pause as memories of "Tenshi" persona resurface.  Check.

Extended bout of shuddering.  Check.

"Yep.  So WHY THE HOECK AM I HERE NOW?!" yelled Chris in a decidedly
Ryouga-esque fashion, and then frowned and scratched his head as he muttered
to himself.  "And why can I remember ALL my past adventures...in detail?
That's a bit odd..."

Cue one near miss from a lightning bolt, from an otherwise clear sky.  Going
over to the impact site, Chris knelt to read the runes that were etched into
the ground.

"BROUGHT HERE BY REQUEST OF THE *PRIME* OF THIS MULTIVERSE, CALLED TOLTIIR.
YOU'RE IN RANMA 1/2.  NO RULES, YOU CAN FIT YOURSELF IN HOW YOU LIKE.  HAVE
FUN, CONSIDER THIS A VACATION."

Chris read over the runes repeatedly until they faded from view.  He then
stood, a sort of dazed expression on his face, and began to slowly walk down
the street.  As he walked, the dazed expression slowly faded, becoming first
neutral, then calculating, and then in barest bits morphing into an
expression that could only be described as sinister glee.

*Have fun, eh?*

Throwing his head back and spinning on one foot, Chris let loose a bought of
laughter that brought dread to all those who heard it.

*

"So what's he going to do?" Toltiir asked, peering into the pool.

"Oh, nothing much," Indra replied.  "Paradox is just going to try to make a
few changes..."

Toltiir's expression became one of bored irrtation.  "Not another fix-it
avatar?  We've done those hundreds of times.  I'd hate to think I promised
that Kami-sama a favor for something like that."

"Oh no," Indra countered with a amused expression.  "I don't think you know
Paradox very well.  My friend's not going to try to make things BETTER..."

"Oh my..." the feline said, its eyes widening comically as it realized what
the storm-god was saying.

"...he's going to do his best to make things WORSE."

*

A young gaijin sat in a park, a notepad in his hands.  He seemed to be very
focused on something, as he was concentrating heavily and writing on a
notepad furiously.  Said young man was not giving off fun-happy vibes,
unless your idea of fun-happy was along the lines of causing trouble for
others.

Had Mara been there, she would have been turned on.

*Now, let's see...things to do, things to do.  More fiancees.  DEFINITELY
more fiancees.  I wonder if this is a crossover universe?  I betcha I could
convince the Senshi that Ranma's a catch.   Hell, while I'm at it, let's get
some more suitors for people.  I think Nabiki needs someone nice like Ataru.
Maybe I can convince Tarou he's meant for Shampoo?  That should honk them
off.*

Chris wasn't quite sure who 'them' were, but annoying 'them' was a high
priority in his mind.

*Ukyou....hmmm, well, if this is early, I'll see if I can find Konatsu for
her, because I have a feeling said ninja-ette needs to be convinced that the
Mousse School of Physical Affection is in order.  Must find someone to chase
Kodachi.  And Mousse.  And Ryouga.  And Kuno, even he doesn't deserve that
Mariko chick.  Who's left, who's left?  Annoy Cologne into letting Ranma
marry more Amazons?  Hmm, hey, I betcha I could pull of that rejuve spell,
Cologne would dig it, that's for sure.  What else to do?  Get Happosai a few
disciples.  I hope that Copycat Ken guy is around.  Get Akane arrested for
assault a few times, just for kicks.  I'm forgetting something...oh yeah!*

This last entry was boxed and written in very large letters.

*Get Kasumi laid.*

*

"It's supposed to be a BENEFICIAL change!" Toltiir protested.

"I'm thinking the value of his results are mostly in the eye of the
beholder," Indra gasped, his sides aching from laughter.

"Oh yeah, real beneficial.  Ranma's disowned by his mother and living in
America with Nabiki.  Shampoo's gone off to be a supermodel.  Ryouga's
married to Akane, who's right now in jail.  Kuno's a national hero, having
saved the emperor from said nutty schoolgirl.  Soun's now sponging off
Genma...who got a job as a VOICE ACTOR?!  Ukyou's on the run from a Konatsu
that acts like Ataru Morobishi.  Mousse went back to China and married half
the villiage of the Amazons and Kodachi, who's using them to start a
seperatist movement in China.  Cologne's off trying to marry a younger Ranma
with the Nanban Mirror, and failing miserably.  And finally
Kasumi...Kasumi's the official concubine of Saffron!"  Toltiir threw up his
paws in disgust.  "It's a good thing this wasn't a crossover universe.  I
can't believe I wasted a good favor on this."

Indra shrugged.  "Well, Ranma will be happier in the long run, as will
Nabiki.  Kuno's thrilled.  Kasumi's discovering the wonders that a partner
with near-infinite stamina can have for your sex life."

"I don't care, this is REALLY not a winning entry."

"Oh cra-er...carp."

*

Chris woke up, feeling strangely like the cat who ate the canary.  He
wandered out into the living room, where his sisteres were in front of the
TV, watching some video cassette...

...and laughing their collective asses off.

"Hi ho," he greeted, walking into the living room.  The trio looked over at
him, and Urd jumped up and glomped him.  "Wha..."

"THAT'S MY BROTHER!  I'm so proud of you!"

"Yeah," chimed in Skuld.  "You were even better at causing trouble than
Peorth."

"I told you he'd have a knack for it," Belldandy said mildly, and then began
to giggle.  "But honestly, Oniichan, a voice actor?"

Chris looked at his three sisters and felt a headache coming on.  "I'm
getting a feeling I don't want to know."

*****

God's Toy: A Disallowed Bet
A Ranma 1/2 and The Bet Story.



No, I won't write this.  But damn, it'd be fun to SI and do that, wouldn't
it?

--
Christopher Angel
http://angel.megami.net
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